Ancient Demon

Monsters of Godville

Ancient Demon
Class	Demon
Habitat	Hell, Swamps, and Dark Forests
Description	A cranky old demon
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The Ancient Demon (Daemon antiqua "ancient demon") is a boss-monster that may be encountered at the end of the mini-quest "Die another day."

Heroes often ask how old is the Ancient Demon? Well:

• The Ancient Demon is so old that he remembers when the Dead Sea was only sick.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that his birth certificate is expired.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that his memory is in black and white.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that his birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that Jurassic Park brought back memories.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that his social security number is 1.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he knew Mr. Clean when he had hair.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he called the cops when David and Goliath started to fight.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that when he went to school, there was no history class.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he recalls when the Grand Canyon was a ditch.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he walked into an antique store and they kept him.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that when he goes to antiques auction, people bid on him
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he is mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he went blind from the big bang.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that when the first God said let there be light, he flipped the switch.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that the candles cost more than the birthday cake.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that when he first ran the 100 meter dash, they timed him with a sundial.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that when he reads the bible he reminisces.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he remembers when rainbows were black and white.
• The Ancient Demon is so old that he lives in a museum instead of an old folks home.

Attributes

Strengths

• Extremely Wise
• Cranky
• His wrinkles alone have been known to petrify heroes in fear
• His wrinkles' wrinkles have been known to petrify petrified heroes in fear
• Ugly

Weaknesses

• Old
• Slow
• Has a really bad case of Arthritis in his left knee

Mini-Quest Progression (Artifact Award)

1. Help an angel earn its wings (Angel’s feather)
2. Find where angels fear to tread (Invite to hell)
3. Calculate a snowball’s chance in hell (Wet pants)
4. Die another day