Continuum transfunctioner

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Artifacts of Godville
Continuum transfunctioner
Type ⚙️Activatable
Description Continuum Transfunctioner ready for transformation!
Cost 50% of godpower
Effect Affect in a good or a bad way (Black boxes)

The Continuum Transfunctioner is an artifact of great power and great mystery.

General Information

The power of this artifact is exceeded only by its mystery, and strangely, its mystery is exceeded only by its power. The Continuum Transfunctioner is all that stands between the universe and completely violent destruction.

Where the Continuum Transfunctioner was constructed, and how it got to Godville are part of the mysteriousness of this item. It is rumored to attract alien life forms who seek to control its random powers. It has two forms, the first as a puzzle cube unsolvable to all but the most genius of creatures. A highly intelligent member of the icthyo sapien race tried for 3 decades, and was only able to solve 2 sides. Most heroes try for a few minutes or so, and then just end up banging the sucker on a rock to open it. (Gordian Knot approach FTW!)

Its second form is that of a mechanical sphere. It is in this form that all of its mysterious power, and powerful mysteriousness is revealed.

Example of use

This item can affect your hero in a good or bad way (requires 50% of godpower to activate this item)
!Hero's Diary
07:22 Felt a burning desire to open the Continuum transfunctioner. Found inside something unbelievable — a scroll with instructions on how to get a premature level up!

!Hero's Diary
12:01 Suddenly felt like I had to make use of the Continuum transfunctioner. Shook it as hard as I could and out came a new, shiny golden brick!


There are many possible outcomes of activating a Continuum transfunctioner.[N 1]

  • Positive outcomes include finding the following inside:
    • Gold coins (around 100-9926, though more than 9926 gold coins have been discovered)
    • Golden bricks (usually one, but up to three have been discovered)
    • A notarized document stating that the hero has died fewer times than thought, which reduces a hero’s death count by one or two, and increases your position in the pantheon of survival
    • A scroll with instructions for a premature level up, which immediately increases the level of the hero by one
    • Nothing, but a hero gains experience points (around 3000) in the process
    • Tribbles, which are released into the hero's inventory
  • Negative outcomes include:
    • Finding a notarized death certificate inside, which increases a hero's death count by one, and reduces your position in the pantheon of survival
    • Finding a note inside stating that some of the hero's experience points were achieved by dishonest means, which reduces the hero's experience points
    • Releasing a spiteful gremlin from inside the item that will steal about half of the hero's gold coins
    • Nothing happening. If your hero has not completed their temple, the annoyed hero tries to break the Continuum transfunctioner with a golden brick resulting in the loss of the item and the golden brick. If the temple is complete, nothing happens but the loss of the artifact and expenditure of godpower.

Overall, positive effects are much more likely than negative effects.


"Black Box" Activatable Artifacts 
Box with a question mark • Continuum transfunctioner • Davy Jones’ locker • Deus ex machina • Dimensional destabilizer • Improbability drive • Mystery box • Pandora's box • Surprising invite • Wonderbox