Wraptor

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Boss-Monsters of Godville
Wraptor
Raptor donum involuti
Wraptor.jpg
A Wraptor tackles a sleeping hero by wrapping the legs first.
Class Oh My!
Habitat Stationery stores, Secret Santa parties.
Description Plumed, often bedecked in wired ribbon, and redolent of decorative cotton bond.
Boss
Boss Type Above-Ground

The Wraptor (Raptor donum involuti) is an above-ground boss monster that attempts to subdue its prey by enveloping it in gift wrap.

On the plus side, it uses really good gift wrap. You know, thick linen rag laced with gold thread and handwoven by unicorns in El Herado... that kind of thing. Any heroine defeated by the Wraptor can take comfort in knowing she will perish in style.

How to Recognize this Monster

The Wraptor can be recognized by:

  • the rolls of sumptuous gift wrap tucked firmly under its wing;
  • the basket of glittering ribbons and tape dangling from its talons;
  • a certain fanatical glint in its eye.

The Wraptor is not to be confused with the Roflraptor, its smaller, easily-amused cousin.

Manner of Engagement

This boss, like all above-ground bosses, is summoned when the heroine activates certain artifacts, and may also be attracted by an aura of hunting.

The Wraptor is especially captivated by heroes or heroines that are cubical or oblong in shape. Because such "chunky champions" are so much more pleasurable to wrap, this boss monster will ignore oddly-shaped opponents in favour of symmetrical ones every single time.[1]

Assuming a champion is unable to diet her way to angularity before the fight, she should be sure to carry a sharp pair of shears to cut a way to safety. It may also help her to dampen herself thoroughly, so the Wraptor's cellophane tape won't stick to her person. For most heroines, the obvious way to do this is to douse themselves with any beer they may have at hand. A good many champions will prefer to perish first, of course.[2]

Attributes

Strengths

  • Routinely sources gorgeous wrapping paper from the best makers in the realm.
  • Knows how to make an invisible seam.
  • Can curl a ribbon merely by looking at it scornfully.

Weaknesses

  • Becomes despondent when the recipient recklessly tears open a package instead of undoing it neatly.
  • Will go into a coma if its wrapping technique is criticized.

Footnotes

  1. As evenly-shaped opponents require both less effort and less paper.
  2. It is beer, after all.
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist 🍻 Barbeerian 🍻 Beer Cub 🍻 Beer Golem 🍻 Beer Mugger 🍻 Beerburglar 🍻 Beerkat 🍻 Beerserker 🍻 Beerwolf 🍻 Boartender 🍻 Brewpid the Reindeer 🍻 Diet Sprite 🍻 Drinkerella 🍻 Extra Dry Djinn 🍻 Methylated Spiritualist 🍻 Red Bull 🍻 Tea Rex 🍻 Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat 🐱 Bureau-cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther 🐱 Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur 🏋️ Boozerker 🏋️ Godbuster 🏋️ Thug-of-war 🏋️ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab 🍻 Beer-battered beer 🍻 Beer-scented soap 🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall 🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer 🍻 Bottle of holy ale 🍻 Can of ambrosia 🍻 Exclamation pint 🍻 “Free beer” ticket 🍻 Instant beer tablet 🍻 Pint of no return 🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork 🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly 🍻 Lion belch
Taverns All Inn 🍻 The Battle Toad 🍻 Caravanserai 🍻 Progress Bar 🍻 The Rumor Mill 🍻 The Sword & Sandal 🍻 The Whinery