The Wraptor (Raptor donum involuti) is an above-ground boss monster that attempts to subdue its prey by enveloping it in gift wrap.
|Raptor donum involuti|
|Habitat||Stationery stores, Secret Santa parties.|
|Description||Plumed, often bedecked in wired ribbon, and redolent of decorative cotton bond.|
On the plus side, it uses really good gift wrap. You know, thick linen rag laced with gold thread and handwoven by unicorns in El Herado... that kind of thing. Any hero defeated by the Wraptor can take comfort in knowing he will perish in style.
How to Recognize this Monster
The Wraptor can be recognized by:
- the rolls of sumptuous gift wrap tucked firmly under its wing;
- the basket of glittering ribbons and tape dangling from its talons;
- a certain fanatical glint in its eye.
The Wraptor is not to be confused with the Roflraptor, its smaller, easily-amused cousin.
Manner of Engagement
The Wraptor is especially captivated by heroes or heroines that are cubical or oblong in shape. Because such "chunky champions" are so much more pleasurable to wrap, this boss monster will ignore oddly-shaped opponents in favour of symmetrical ones every single time.
Assuming a champion is unable to diet his way to angularity before the fight, he should be sure to carry a sharp pair of shears to cut a way to safety. It may also help him to dampen himself thoroughly, so the Wraptor's cellophane tape won't stick to his person. For most heroes, the obvious way to do this is to douse themselves with any beer they may have at hand. A good many champions will prefer to perish first, of course.
- Routinely sources gorgeous wrapping paper from the best makers in the realm.
- Knows how to make an invisible seam.
- Can curl a ribbon merely by looking at it scornfully.
- Becomes despondent when the recipient recklessly tears open a package instead of undoing it neatly.
- Will go into a coma if its wrapping technique is criticized.
- As evenly-shaped opponents require both less effort and less paper.
- It is beer, after all.