Water balloon launcher

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Equipment of Godville
Water balloon launcher
Water-balloons-2510416 960 720.jpg
Necessary ammunition for the launcher.
Worn 🗡️Weapon
Durability Unknown
Description Not the most effective weapon. Only truly effective at close range.

The Water balloon launcher would be a great weapon if the balloons actually broke on impact.


The launcher has many variations, though they usually have the same goal: hurling a balloon filled with water towards the monster's face. Upon doing this, the water balloon is supposed to burst and cover the monster in water. This... does not work the way the heroine thinks it will.

The first problem with this is that some heroines believe that there is enough water for the hero to drown the monster due to false advertising. It isn't. It is enough, though, to embarrass the monster by bursting the water balloon in the right areas.

The second problem is that the water balloon doesn't often burst on impact. Sure, it'll leave a bruise on the monster, but it doesn't accomplish the advertised feature of drenching the monster in water. There's about a 10% chance that the balloon will actually burst at long range. At close range, with extra force from the hero, there is a 50% chance of it bursting in the intended area. Sometimes, it'll backfire and the hero will take the damage, and other times it misses the hero and the monster entirely.

The third problem is the variations. The heroine might see an ad in the newspaper, but due to the many variations end up buying a different item from what they wanted. There are guns, crossbows, slingshots, and giant slingshots. Usually they are used with three people, but heroines find it easier to string the giant slingshot between two trees and wait for the monster. Sometimes, the box with the water balloon launcher is empty except for a bunch of water balloons, expecting the launcher to be used with the heroine's arm. This defeats the whole purpose of the existence of the water balloon launcher. Why do it by yourself when you can have a machine do it for you?

Usually there's a manual telling the heroine what to do with the specific launcher, but they don't even have pictures or anything. How do you expect heroines to read these?


Okay, If you're reading this, your hero or heroine messed up big time by buying this. Sure, it might be powerful ordinarily, but if the person doesn't know what they're doing, it useless! And as I mentioned, heroines won't read the manual. You can't unbuy it, as the trader's shop is known as the land of no returns, refunds, or exchanges. You can punish them, but if you're heading towards a good alignment, you might not want to do that. You must teach your hero or heroine to learn how to use it using the Voice of god command, which your champion will ignore 99.999999999999999% of the time. But maybe you'll be that 0.000000000000001% who will actually get through that thick skull of their hero (or heroine) and teach them how to use it.

Ver. 1: Gun


So, I have no idea what's happening with this. Your hero will eventually learn how to use it, but by then they'd probably switch it out with another weapon. It'd be easier to figure these weapons out if they weren't all Russian

Ver. 2: Crossbow

I never figured out how to use the crossbow version either. Or... a crossbow in general. Thankfully, your hero will probably know how to use a crossbow already and will just replace the bolts with water balloons. Or they can ask someone on the side of the road. In a world like this, everybody knows how to use weapons. Evil hero raids are actually pretty common.

SummerWiki 2019
🐟 Monsters🐟 Aquaphobic Fish • Copfish
🐚 Artifacts 🐚 Ark safety checklist • Bottle of demonade • Coy fish • Exotic seashell • Fool's goldfish • Pocketful of sunshine • Shellphone
👙 Equipment 👙 Water balloon launcher
💠 Others 💠 Beasties