Water balloon launcher

From GodWiki
Revision as of 19:45, 15 June 2019 by Fadedspirit87771 (talk | contribs) (Made this article for SummerWiki 2019. Might edit it later.)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
✍️JanuWiki 2020: Under Active Construction 👓
This glimpse of greatness is being envisioned by Fadedspirit87771 (U • C • T) . If you have something to add or just want to tell the author how great it is, head to the talk page.
Last edit: 52 days ago by Fadedspirit87771 — History
Equipment of Godville
Water balloon launcher
Water-balloons-2510416 960 720.jpg
Necessary ammunition for the launcher.
Worn 🗡️Weapon
Durability Unknown
Description Not the most effective weapon. Only truly effective at close range.

The water balloon launcher would be a great weapon if the balloons actually broke on impact.


The launcher has many variations, though they usually have the same goal: hurling a balloon filled with water towards the monster's face. Upon doing this, the water balloon is supposed to burst and cover the monster in water. This... does not work

The first problem with this is that some heroes believe that there is enough water for the hero to drown the monster due to false advertising. It isn't. It is enough, though, to embarrass the monster by bursting the water balloon in the right areas.

The second problem is that the water balloon doesn't often burst on impact. Sure, it'll leave a bruise on the monster, but it doesn't accomplish the advertised feature of drenching the monster in water. There's about a 10% chance that the balloon will actually burst at long range. At close range, with extra force from the hero, there is a 50% chance of it bursting in the intended area. Sometimes, it'll backfire and the hero will take the damage, and other times it misses the hero and the monster entirely.

The third problem is the variations. The hero might see an ad in the newspaper, but due to the many variations end up buying a different item from what they wanted. There are guns, crossbows, slingshots, and giant slingshots. Usually they are used with three people, but heroes find it easier to string the giant slingshot between two trees and wait for the monster. Sometimes, the box with the water balloon launcher is empty except for a bunch of water balloons, expecting the launcher to be used with the hero's arm. This defeats the whole purpose of the existence of the water balloon launcher. Why do it by yourself when you can have a machine do it for you?

Usually there's a manual telling the hero what to do with the specific launcher, but they don't even have pictures or anything. How do you expect heroes to read these?

The big takeaway from this article? Don't get a water balloon launcher unless your hero knows how to read, improvise, and is really, really strong.