Warped Quantum

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Warped Quantum
Motto: Omnia vero incerta sunt
Alignment: Humane
Gold Fund: 43935 c.u.
Date Founded: 18 September 2010
Membership Count: 166
Town with Greatest Influence: Trollbridge (4%)
Pantheon of unity Rank: 22
Forum Headquarters: Warped Quantum
Guild Page: Warped Quantum 
Data current as of 21 March 2012


Warped Quantum - the only mathematically minded and quasi-scientific guild in all of Godville, the forefront in investigating gameplay mechanics as well as tips and tricks. We also offer free dead cats to anybody who brings us either a millisecond pulsar, a quantum gravity gradiometer or a high-temperature superconductor. Animal-rights activists will be directed to the nearest laser-testing facility.

So what's the fuss? In this world, knowledge is power and power is force multiplied by distance over time. New knowledge is even more powerful, but less easy to learn. The philosophy of this guild is summed up by its motto: Omnia vero incerta sunt. This translates literally as "In truth, all is uncertain" and demonstrates the might of the guild, for it shows that the members are in possession of the great secrets. It also shows the members' superb grasp of Latin. The guild cares not for the personality of its members, for the guild masters are tolerant and understand the insignificance of such things.

Warped Quantum meetings are held at a mystical place which is always on the edge of the de Sitter horizon, known as the tavern. The same can be said for funerals and any other gatherings. In the tavern it is customary to down superfluous amounts of beer, squirrely temples and until recently, Spode's experimental cocktails (they were banned due to undesirable side effects). The unofficial motto is actually "To the Tavern!" and as a result, members are rarely seen outside the place. Pets, too, enjoy drinking beer at the tavern, resulting in many stumbling beasts falling asleep on the floor which then trip up anybody walking past. This eventually caused a new section in the tavern to be opened: the Warped Quantum anti-proton p[et]-bar.

Like other guilds, we have a Guild Council conference chat (not related to the guild council listed below) which all members can join in with. However, members who decide to spam and foul up the place are liable to be expelled immediately, and without hope of being let back in.

The Recognition Symbol: In order that guild members may be recognized in pantheons, active members should add the guild recognition symbols to their motto. Just copy and paste this symbol: [ ☢ ]. This is the hazard symbol for ionising radiation. Radiation is only understood by members of the guild so this is an apt symbol for us.


Member Directory

The Warped Quantum Guild landing page has a full member list as well as additional stats: http://godvillegame.com/stats/guild/Warped%20Quantum

The Quantum Sages

The Guild Council

  • GodSpode  and his Hrun, Guild Founder & Universal Chronicler - creator of experimental beer with interesting side-effects, agnostic about nihilism
  • GodThe Picard   and his Ryzea, Rider of the Photons - perpetual wearer of beer goggles, and a temple owner!
  • GodMesc   and his Mescalin, Devourer of Quarks - lives under a rock which has a precisely-defined momentum, frequent tavern visitor, and a temple owner!
  • GodSlimeball555   and his Rocket, Laser Tweaker - usually too busy meddling with our lasers to visit the tavern, and a temple owner!
  • GodNonnal  and his Sir Nonnaly, Quantum Capacitor - unknown variable in the formula for quantum flux

The Particle Theorists

The Guild Officers

  • GodGoodey   and his PinguPenguin, Accelerator Technician - overseer and analyst of numbers, often gets lost coming home from the tavern, and a temple owner!
  • GodIncorrigible   and his Feedhead, Quantum Mystic - harbinger of doom, and a temple owner!
  • GodHairnut  and his Syphliss, Quantum Drum Beater - entertainer at wave functions, and host of harmonic oscillation parties.
  • GodAsddgghkl  and his Dufusdfgh, Whirler of Galaxies - dark matter apologist.

Active Members

  • GodSteve B   and his Gillroy, and a temple owner!
  • GodXAQ  and his Blammergeier

Q-points and WQ-puzzles

These points are extremely difficult to acquire, since the only way of earning them usually is to solve a Warped Quantum puzzle, which are set by GodSpode  unless otherwise stated (If you think you have thought up a good maths/physics/logic puzzle let him know but it must not be available anywhere else on the internet). There are at least two puzzles of varying difficulty for Warped Quantum members in each set. You may only attempt one of the problems from a given set. Each puzzle is worth a certain number of points (depending on difficulty) to the first person to solve it (working out must be shown). Members of other guilds may post their answers only after a week has elapsed since the puzzle was posted, at which point they may gain q-points (thereby becoming honorary WQ members). Q-points may on occasions be given out for special reasons too. All WQ-puzzles are given in the section below this one. Here is the current scoreboard for Q-points:

The Table of Geniuses

God Q-Points
GodAlmighty Jimmy  4
GodAsddgghkl  2
GodAvarose  2
GodGoodey  5
GodHeureka  2
GodNonnal  1
GodShesgotdajack  2
GodWolf Spirit  2

Warped Quantum Puzzles

February 22, 2012 Puzzle

  • Puzzles set by GodNonnal . Part 1 was solved by GodAsddgghkl  on Thursday, March 1, earning him 1 Q-point. Part 2 was solved by GodAvarose  on Saturday, March 3, earning him 1 Q-point.
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

Part 1; Difficulty: Easy (one point)

I was writing out all the digits of pi on a wall at a rate of one number per second (I can write a decimal point in negligible time). After 52 minutes and 42 seconds, I realized that my handwriting was represensible and I couldn’t read any but the last four digits that I had scrawled. I decided to start from scratch and write the sequence out again, but I wanted to figure out some way to remember where I was. Fortunately, as I looked at those four clear digits, I realized that I could easily remember them by changing the base. On that note, I hopped in a taxi and went home. What were the last four digits and how did I remember them?

Part 2; Difficulty: Easy (one point)

I was making a vinegar-water solution in a 480 mL bottle for household cleaning. Normally I use one part vinegar to three parts water, but today I accidentally filled the bottle to the 160 mL mark. I’m not willing to pour any of the vinegar back out of the spray bottle; instead I decide to just fill the rest of the bottle with water and use the solution as-is, with the intention of adding more water later to dilute it to the correct consistency. How many sprays will it take before I can fill the bottle with water and get my regular proportion? Note: I wasn’t sure how much solution each spray (squeeze of the trigger) provides, but when I sprayed the solution (one spray) into a small cylindrical container with a one-inch diameter, the liquid stood 1.165 inches tall in the cylinder.

Part 1 Answer: The four digits were 3243 in base 10, which spell "cab" in base 16. ("Cab" is a synonym for "taxi.")
Part 2 Answer: 8 sprays.

October 31, 2011 Bonus Puzzle

  • Bonus puzzle set by GodAsddgghkl . It was solved by GodNonnal  on Sunday, 27 November, earning him 1 Q-point. Note: this puzzle is available on the internet, but this was not known at the time. However, the puzzle policy has since been updated to prevent this (all puzzles must now be completely original).
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

Difficulty: Easy (one point)

Suppose that, while lying on a beach near the equator watching the Sun set over a calm ocean, you start a stopwatch just as the top of the Sun disappears. You then stand, elevating your eyes by a height H=1.7 meters, and stop the watch when the top of the Sun again disappears. If the elapsed time is t=11.1 seconds, what is the radius of the earth?

Answer: 5200 km. Incidentally, the radius of the earth is actually around 6400 km.

September 25, 2011 Puzzle

  • Although a few people got extremely close, the third part expired after 42 pages in the forum thread had been added (it got busy) on 22.2.2012 so the answer has been revealed below.
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

Part 3, Difficulty: Challenging.

After all of this fooling about, I’ve still got a reasonable amount of chlorine gas left over. For some reason, all of it is actually chlorine-42. As it decays, it emits one GigaMole of electrons every second (I magically fixed it) which I trap then apply a potential difference of 5000 kV to. If I use the resultant kinetic energy of the electrons to power an 100 Watt lightbulb until the radioactivity of the chlorine has decreased to 3.125% of what it was originally, how many seconds can I power the lightbulb for?

Answer: 1.64 * 10^20 seconds.

  • The second part of the Warped Quantum puzzle of Sunday, 25 September was solved on the same day that it was released, by GodHeureka , earning her 2 q-points! The first part was then subsequently solved by GodAlmighty Jimmy  earning him 1 point.
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

Part 1, Difficulty: Easy.

I suddenly steal acquire a temple. Given current gold prices, how much is my temple worth in American dollars if a brick has a mass of 37.1kg and consequently,how much is a gold coin worth?

Part 2, Difficulty: Average.

Now I know how much it’s worth, I melt down my temple into a molten mass of gold. However, nobody will buy it off me so instead I pass chlorine gas over the gold at a temperature of 180 degrees celsius. All of the gold reacts completely and I end up with something new, but what volume of Chlorine gas did I use to do this?

Answers for part 1 (on that day): $2,167,278,490. $688.24.
Answer for part 2: 3,133,843.6L

July 4, 2011 Puzzle

  • The third part of that puzzle expired and the answer was revealed:
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

Difficulty: Challenging (three points)

My state of intoxication has made me decide that i’m going to make a strange journey. To decide on my displacement from a wall in meters, I shall take the number of seconds that have passed since the journey began, and square it. I shall then add three and put the result of this to the power of six. I shall then minus the time to the power of twelve from it, and then add seventy one. Just to top it all off, i’ll divide it all by 5. This number shall be my displacement in meters. Stupidly unrealistic scenario aside, I want to know after how many seconds (since starting the journey at t=0) my rate of change of acceleration (called the jerk) is 1000.

Answer: 0.162 (3sf) seconds.
  • 1st part of Warped Quantum puzzle Monday 4th July 2011 was solved by GodAvarose  for 1 point. 2nd part was then solved by GodAlmighty Jimmy  who therefore received 2 q-points plus another point for the extra credit answer.
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

Difficulty: Part 1: Easy (one point)

I walk into a tavern which has a perimeter of 40 m. The total length of two adjacent sides is 20 m. What is the value of the unknown variable for which the area is at its maximum?

Difficulty: Average (two points)

The probability of obtaining free beer, now that im inside the tavern, has become 40/1653, which incidentally is the probability that i will be in the tavern while I am in the process of receiving free beer, minus three nineteenths of the probability of obtaining free beer anywhere. The exclusive probability of obtaining free beer anywhere is 6/87. While I drink my beer, calculate the probability that, at any one time, I shall not be in the tavern. For the chance of an extra point, give an opinion on this probability which causes me to chuckle.

The answer to part 1 was 10 and the answer to part 2 was 9/10 with the extra credit being given for proving that the probability of getting free beer became higher when you were not in the tavern.

Policy Update

  • Members of other guilds may now attempt the warped quantum puzzles, and may therefore also gain q-points. However, they can only begin to attempt the puzzles a week after the date listed at the top of the puzzle.

June 13-20, 2011 Puzzle

  • Second part of 13 June to Monday 20th June puzzle solved by GodGoodey  (gain 2 q-points). GodWolf Spirit  then solved the first part to gain one point.
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

Difficulty: normal (worth one point)

I have a bicycle. The front wheel of my bicycle has a diameter of 66cm. I keep at a constant pace and it takes me two-thirds of an hour to cycle 2 km.

What is the number of times that the front wheel goes round?

Difficulty: challenging (worth two points)

Strapped to the very back my bicycle is a large tank of petrol which leaks, leaving a trail of it behind me as I cycle. At the point where I have cycled exactly 1125 meters, some idiot decides to place a flame at the very end of the trail. If I carry on cycling at the same speed as i was before, how long will it take (rounded to the nearest minute) for the flame to catch up with me given that I saw on mythbusters that petrol burns at 3mph?

For the first part, answer was 965. The answer for the second part was 37 minutes.

June 12, 2011 Puzzle

  • The first ever Warped Quantum Weekly Puzzle of 12th June 2011 was quickly solved by GodGoodey  (who receives 3 points for showing proof) and GodShesgotdajack  (who gets 2 points for getting the answer but not showing how.)
Puzcube.pngWarped Quantum Puzzle

A hollow cube has a side length of 10cm. The largest possible ball that will fit in the cube is placed in the cube. Which one of the following is the correct value for the proportion of the volume of the cube taken by the ball?

A. 1/2 B. π/4 C. 1/3 D. π/6 E. 5π/2 F. 2/5

The answer was D but if π is rounded to the nearest integer, you get 3/6 = 1/2 so A was the runner-up answer so well done GodWolf Spirit  (you get 1 point). The format of the puzzle will now change.

The Chronicles of Warped Quantum

Entries are added in reverse chronological order.

  • GodThe Picard  earned his thousandth gold brick on day 747 g.e. and became a Temple owner
  • GodMesc  earned his thousandth gold brick on day 739 g.e. and became a Temple owner
  • GodSteve B  earned his thousandth gold brick on day 716 g.e. and became a Temple owner
  • GodHartzerdrsgib  earned his thousandth gold brick on day 713 g.e. and became a Temple owner
  • GodDrOg  earned his thousandth gold brick on day 710 g.e. and became a Temple owner
  • GodIncorrigible  earned his thousandth gold brick on day 709 g.e. and became a Temple owner
  • GodGoodey  earned his thousandth gold brick on day 707 g.e. and became a Temple owner
  • Day 680 g.e. In the Godville Times
Hrun - 56th-level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ Don't even bother ”, stands at the 4th position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Spode. His worst enemy - a Hunny Bear. Favorite trophy - something that looks like the other cheek. He is also a huge fan of Beerburgh’s pubs.
  • Day 655 g.e. In the Godville Times
Carakticus - 41st-level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “ ☢ Om Ah Hung, baby! ☢”, stands at the 4th position in the pantheon of creation under the vigilant supervision of the god DrOg. His worst enemy - a Reverse Engineer. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a horseshoe from a spherical horse. He is also a huge fan of Beerburgh’s pubs
  • Day 613 g.e. In the Godville Times
Sir Nonnaly - 32nd-level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ The cake is a lie!”, stands at the 48th position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Nonnal. His dream is to master the “teeth gnashing” skill and then offer lessons in exchange for gold bricks.

  • Day 605 g.e. In the Godville Times
Sir Nonnaly - 31st-level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ The cake is a lie!”, stands at the 47th position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Nonnal. His worst enemy - a Bulletproof Monk. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a two-eyed paper clip. He is also a huge fan of Godvillewood’s pubs.

  • Day 513 g.e. In the Godville Times
Sir Nonnaly - 17th-level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ The cake is a lie!”, stands at the 31st position in the pantheon of story tellers under the vigilant supervision of the god Nonnal. He was known to distribute counterfeit Godville invites during his youth.

  • New points system implemented, as copied from Guild Name (with permission)[2]. The Warped Quantum Weekly Puzzle is introduced.

  • Day 368 g.e. In the Godville Times
Ryphes - 19th level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “DEMACIA!!!”, stands at the 62nd position in the pantheon of destruction under the vigilant supervision of the god Aeson. He thinks that a Non-Pierced Caps Lock slow roasted in its own juices is one of the finest delicacies that Anville has to offer.

  • Day 347 g.e. In the Godville Times
Hrun - 41st level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ Away from Godville!”, stands at the 2nd position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god GodSpode . His worst enemy - a Shaggy Vogon Poet. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a mystery box. He is also a huge fan of Deville’s pubs.
It seems that a new town has been revealed to us all - Deville. We wonder what other new towns have just been created.

  • We are now allies with the League of Adjudicators. A happy time for Warped Quantum as we spread knowledge of our existence across the land. For some reason, their members are acting with excessive joy. It is recommended that you learn this irrational behavior quickly in order to fit in. We also found a mysterious box on the doorstep. we X-rayed it, T-rayed it and ultrasound scanned it just to make sure, and found an odd collection of friendship bracelets, seemingly a token of friendship. They are now being handed out for all to wear, rejoice members!

  • Day 342 g.e. In the Godville Times
Hrun - 41st level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ Away from Godville!”, stands at the 2nd position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god GodSpode . All he ever wanted was a little love and affection.

  • Day 288 g.e. Godville Times
Hrun - 37th level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “To Dogville!”, stands at the 2nd position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god GodSpode . His worst enemy - a Bulletproof Drop Bear. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a weakest link. He is also a huge fan of a San Satanos’s pubs.

  • We reached number one in the pantheon of unity on the 18th January 2011. Celebrations ensued.

"Vote for renaming the “Warped Quantum” guild into the “Warped Quantum Premium” is completed. Counting of the ballots is complicated by the laziness of committee members from the “Through Time and Space” guild."
Unfortunately for the person who proposed the change, he was the only one who wanted it and nobody voted in his favour. The name therefore stays the same.

"A malicious mathematician, who perverted postulates of the probability theory, has finally been caught. From now on, all events should be regarded as equiprobable."
We give a special shout out to those brave souls who succeeded in stopping him, and we are especially glad that our theories continue to stand the tests of time. Omnia vero incerta sunt.

  • Help us in our campaign to wipe out the 'Quantum Woo'!
Quantum woo is the description for a phenomenon where many crazy beliefs are justified by an obfuscatory reference to quantum physics. Usually this is a focus on some sort of "energy field", "probability wave", or "wave-particle duality" that magically turns thoughts into something tangible that can directly affect the universe. This concept is pushed notably by such things as the Law of Attraction or Quantum healing. When an idea seems too crazy to believe, the proponent often makes an appeal to quantum physics as the explanation. Apart from confusing people, it places false ideas in their minds about something which is essentially advanced mathematics.


  1. http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/335?page=77#post_92679
  2. Permission granted by "Guild Name" founder GodEpoch  on October 30, 2011.


Warped [Quantum] Humor
Another good use for Schrodinger's cat. We may need a bigger box to keep the generator in though! 
"Dogs are so cute when they try to comprehend quantum mechanics!"  
Science is even cooler than you already think it is...  
The penguin diagram - What happens when physicists take bets to impress women...  
Ain't that the truth. Poor frogs. Wasn't their fault.  
A couple of Warped Quantum members photographed at work.