Warped Quantum
| Warped Quantum | |
 | |
| Motto: | Omnia vero incerta sunt |
|---|---|
| Alignment: | Humane |
| Gold Fund: | 30803 c.u. |
| Founder(s): | |
| Date Founded: | 18th September 2010 |
| Membership Count: | ~300 |
| Town with Greatest Influence: | Los Demonos (2%) |
| Pantheon of unity Rank: | 21 |
| Forum Headquarters: | Warped Quantum |
| Guild Page: | Warped Quantum |
| Allies: | |
| Data current as of 16 October 2011 | |
Warped Quantum - the only mathematically minded and quasi-scientific guild in all of Godville, the forefront in investigating gameplay mechanics as well as tips and tricks. We also offer free dead cats to anybody who brings us either a millisecond pulsar, a quantum gravity gradiometer or a high-temperature superconductor. Animal-rights activists will be directed to the nearest laser-testing facility.
So what's the fuss? In this world, knowledge is power and power is force multiplied by distance over time. New knowledge is even more powerful, but less easy to learn. The philosophy of this guild is summed up by it's motto: Omnia vero incerta sunt. This translates literally as "In truth, all is uncertain" and demonstrates the might of the guild, for it shows that the members are in possession of the great secrets. It also shows the members' superb grasp of Latin. The guild cares not for the personality of it's members, for the guild masters are tolerant and understand the insignificance of such things.
Warped Quantum meetings are held at a mystical place which is always on the edge of the de sitter horizon, known as the tavern. The same can be said for funerals and any other gatherings. In the tavern it is customary to down superfluous amounts of beer, squirrely temples and until recently, Spode's experimental cocktails (they were banned due to undesirable side effects). the unofficial motto is actually "To the Tavern!" and as a result, members are rarely seen outside the place. Pets too enjoy drinking beer at the tavern, resulting in many stumbling beasts falling asleep on the floor which then trip up anybody walking past. This eventually caused a new section in the tavern to be opened; the warped quantum anti-proton (p[et]-bar, ok i admit that was quite bad).
The Recognition Symbol: In order that guild members may be recognized in pantheons, active members should add the guild recognition symbols to their motto. Just copy and paste: ☢ This is the hazard symbol for ionising radiation. Radiation is only understood by members of the guild so this is an apt symbol for us.
The Second Tavern: We have a beluga pod, a chat client which only the highest members may enter. This is the beating heart of the guild and is where all debates, important discussions and similar things take place. To be sent an invite, you must either be a guild officer, in the guild council or must have obtained at least 5 q-points and have gained the trust of a few guild officers.
Contents
Member Directory
The Quantum Sages
The Guild Council
Spode and his Hrun, Guild Founder & Universal Chronicler - creator of experimental beer with interesting side-effects, agnostic about nihilism
- The Picard and his Ryzea, Rider of the Photons - perpetual wearer of beer goggles
- Mesc and his Mescalin, Devourer of Quarks - lives under a rock which has a precisely-defined momentum, frequent tavern visiter
- Slimeball555 and his Rocket, Laser Tweaker - usually too busy meddling with our lasers to visit the tavern
- Nonnal and his Sir Nonnaly, Quantum Capacitor - unknown variable in the formula for quantum flux
The Particle Theorists
The Guild Officers
- Goodey and his PinguPenguin, Accelerator Technician - overseer and analyst of numbers, often gets lost coming home from the tavern
- Atlin and his Kaylai, Superconductance Regulator - creator of all temporal bumps
- Incorrigible and his Feedhead, Quantum Mystic - harbinger of doom
- Shesgotdajack and her Yulian, Spectroscope Designer - sensor of misdeeds (NO BULL)
- Drakeolon and his Sir Jonothon, Quantum Harbinger - chief chronographer
Active Members
- Hartzerdrsgib and his Drogadreerm
- CraZei and his Striden
- Stormking and his Stormknight
- ShredMyWings and his FalleN
- Avarose and his Avarose
- Aeson and his Ryphes
- Spookism and his Bennet
- Dragon138 and her Devil138
- Steve B and his Gillroy
- Almighty Jimmy and his Ensign Garak
- Tevin and his Catharines
- DrOg and his Carakticus
- Asddgghkl and his Dufusdfgh
- Mordac and his Polly Nomial
- Wu Ming-Yann and his Wunomia
- SLB and her Bugga-boo
- Brownian Motion and his Apocalyptica
- OrthoCuban and his Leapster
- Heureka and her Tesslah
- Kitty Killer and his Kitty Killer
- Hairnut and his Syphliss
- Barondark and his Grawlisdeath
- JJW the grand and his Peter Manglethwaite
- Basalt and his Winston Thomas
Q-points
These points are extremely difficult to acquire, since the only way of earning them usually is to solve a Warped Quantum puzzle. There are at least two puzzles of varying difficulty for Warped Quantum members in each set. You may only attempt one of the problems from a single set. Each puzzle is worth a certain number of points (depending on difficulty) to the first person to solve it (working out must be shown). Members of other guilds may post their answers only after a week has elapsed since the puzzle was posted, at which point they can gain q-points (becoming honorary WQ members). Q-points may on occasions be given out for special reasons too. Here is the current scoreboard:
The Table of Geniuses
| God | Q-Points |
|---|---|
| Almighty Jimmy
|
4 |
| Asddgghkl
|
1 |
| Avarose
|
1 |
| Goodey
|
5 |
| Heureka
|
2 |
| Nonnal
|
1 |
| Shesgotdajack
|
2 |
| Wolf Spirit
|
2 |
Warped Quantum Puzzles
October 31, 2011 Bonus Puzzle
- Bonus puzzle set by Asddgghkl . It was solved by Nonnal on Sunday, 27 November, earning him 1 Q-point.
 |
Difficulty: Easy (one point) Suppose that, while lying on a beach near the equator watching the Sun set over a calm ocean, you start a stopwatch just as the top of the Sun disappears. You then stand, elevating your eyes by a height H=1.7 meters, and stop the watch when the top of the Sun again disappears. If the elapsed time is t=11.1 seconds, what is the radius of the earth? |
Answer: 5200 km.
September 25, 2011 Puzzle
- The second part of the Warped Quantum puzzle of Sunday, 25 September was solved on the same day that it was released, by Heureka , earning her 2 q-points! The first part was then subsequently solved by Almighty Jimmy earning him 1 point.
|
Part 1, Difficulty: Easy.
I suddenly Part 2, Difficulty: Average. Now I know how much it’s worth, I melt down my temple into a molten mass of gold. However, nobody will buy it off me so instead I pass chlorine gas over the gold at a temperature of 180 degrees celsius. All of the gold reacts completely and I end up with something new, but what volume of Chlorine gas did I use to do this? |
answers for part 1 (on that day): $2,167,278,490. $688.24. answer for part 2: 3,133,843.6L
July 4, 2011 Puzzle
- The third part of that puzzle expired and the answer was revealed:
|
Difficulty: Challenging (three points) My state of intoxication has made me decide that i’m going to make a strange journey. To decide on my displacement from a wall in meters, I shall take the number of seconds that have passed since the journey began, and square it. I shall then add three and put the result of this to the power of six. I shall then minus the time to the power of twelve from it, and then add seventy one. Just to top it all off, i’ll divide it all by 5. This number shall be my displacement in meters. Stupidly unrealistic scenario aside, I want to know after how many seconds (since starting the journey at t=0) my rate of change of acceleration (called the jerk) is 1000. |
The answer was 0.162 (3sf) seconds.
- 1st part of Warped Quantum puzzle Monday 4th July 2011 was solved by Avarose for 1 point. 2nd part was then solved by Almighty Jimmy who therefore received 2 q-points plus another point for the extra credit answer.
|
Difficulty: Part 1: Easy (one point) I walk into a tavern which has a perimeter of 40 m. The total length of two adjacent sides is 20 m. What is the value of the unknown variable for which the area is at its maximum? Difficulty: Average (two points) The probability of obtaining free beer, now that im inside the tavern, has become 40/1653, which incidentally is the probability that i will be in the tavern while I am in the process of receiving free beer, minus three nineteenths of the probability of obtaining free beer anywhere. The exclusive probability of obtaining free beer anywhere is 6/87. While I drink my beer, calculate the probability that, at any one time, I shall not be in the tavern. For the chance of an extra point, give an opinion on this probability which causes me to chuckle. |
The answer to part 1 was 10 and the answer to part 2 was 9/10 with the extra credit being given for proving that the probability of getting free beer became higher when you were not in the tavern.
Policy Update
- Members of other guilds may now attempt the warped quantum puzzles, and may therefore also gain q-points. However, they can only begin to attempt the puzzles a week after the date listed at the top of the puzzle.
June 13-20, 2011 Puzzle
- Second part of 13 June to Monday 20th June puzzle solved by Goodey (gain 2 q-points). Wolf Spirit then solved the first part to gain one point.
|
Difficulty: normal (worth one point) I have a bicycle. The front wheel of my bicycle has a diameter of 66cm. I keep at a constant pace and it takes me two-thirds of an hour to cycle 2 km. What is the number of times that the front wheel goes round? Difficulty: challenging (worth two points) Strapped to the very back my bicycle is a large tank of petrol which leaks, leaving a trail of it behind me as I cycle. At the point where I have cycled exactly 1125 meters, some idiot decides to place a flame at the very end of the trail. If I carry on cycling at the same speed as i was before, how long will it take (rounded to the nearest minute) for the flame to catch up with me given that I saw on mythbusters that petrol burns at 3mph? |
For the first part, answer was 965. The answer for the second part was 37 minutes.
June 12, 2011 Puzzle
- The first ever Warped Quantum Weekly Puzzle of 12th June 2011 was quickly solved by Goodey (who receives 3 points for showing proof) and Shesgotdajack (who gets 2 points for getting the answer but not showing how.)
|
A hollow cube has a side length of 10cm. The largest possible ball that will fit in the cube is placed in the cube. Which one of the following is the correct value for the proportion of the volume of the cube taken by the ball? A. 1/2 B. π/4 C. 1/3 D. π/6 E. 5π/2 F. 2/5 |
The answer was D but if π is rounded to the nearest integer, you get 3/6 = 1/2 so A was the runner-up answer so well done Wolf Spirit (you get 1 point). The format of the puzzle will now change.
The Chronicles of Warped Quantum
Entries are added in reverse chronological order.
- Day 513 g.e. In the Godville Times
Sir Nonnaly - 17th-level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ The cake is a lie!”, stands at the 31st position in the pantheon of story tellers under the vigilant supervision of the god Nonnal . He was known to distribute counterfeit Godville invites during his youth.
- New points system implemented, as copied from Guild Name (with permission)[1]. The Warped Quantum Weekly Puzzle is introduced.
- Day 368 g.e. In the Godville Times
Ryphes - 19th level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “DEMACIA!!!”, stands at the 62nd position in the pantheon of destruction under the vigilant supervision of the god Aeson. He thinks that a Non-Pierced Caps Lock slow roasted in its own juices is one of the finest delicacies that Anville has to offer.
- Day 347 g.e. In the Godville Times
Hrun - 41st level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ Away from Godville!”, stands at the 2nd position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Spode . His worst enemy - a Shaggy Vogon Poet. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a mystery box. He is also a huge fan of Deville’s pubs.
It seems that a new town has been revealed to us all - Deville. We wonder what other new towns have just been created.
- We are now allies with the League of Adjudicators. A happy time for Warped Quantum as we spread knowledge of our existence across the land. For some reason, their members are acting with excessive joy. It is recommended that you learn this irrational behavior quickly in order to fit in. We also found a mysterious box on the doorstep. we X-rayed it, T-rayed it and ultrasound scanned it just to make sure, and found an odd collection of friendship bracelets, seemingly a token of friendship. They are now being handed out for all to wear, rejoice members!
- Day 342 g.e. In the Godville Times
Hrun - 41st level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “☢ Away from Godville!”, stands at the 2nd position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Spode . All he ever wanted was a little love and affection.
- Day 288 g.e. Godville Times
Hrun - 37th level adventurer, member of the “Warped Quantum” guild, with the motto “To Dogville!”, stands at the 2nd position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Spode . His worst enemy - a Bulletproof Drop Bear. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a weakest link. He is also a huge fan of a San Satanos’s pubs.
- We reached number one in the pantheon of unity on the 18th January 2011. Celebrations ensued.
- In the Godville Times: Day 237 g.e. " Vote for renaming the “Warped Quantum” guild into the “Warped Quantum Premium” is completed. Counting of the ballots is complicated by the laziness of committee members from the “Through Time and Space” guild."
Unfortunately for the person who proposed the change, he was the only one who wanted it and nobody voted in his favour. The name therefore stays the same.
- We now have new allies (Knights who say Ni) and have also declared war with their enemies (Wiki Leagues).
- Look out for our new artifact, scheme of b-quark decay!
- In the Godville Times:
Day 228 g.e. "A malicious mathematician, who perverted postulates of the probability theory, has finally been caught. From now on, all events should be regarded as equiprobable."
We give a special shout out to those brave souls who succeeded in stopping him, and we are especially glad that our theories continue to stand the tests of time. Omnia vero incerta sunt.
- Help us in our campaign to wipe out the 'Quantum Woo'!
Quantum woo is the description for a phenomenon where many crazy beliefs are justified by an obfuscatory reference to quantum physics. Usually this is a focus on some sort of "energy field", "probability wave", or "wave-particle duality" that magically turns thoughts into something tangible that can directly affect the universe. This concept is pushed notably by such things as the Law of Attraction or Quantum healing. When an idea seems too crazy to believe, the proponent often makes an appeal to quantum physics as the explanation. Apart from confusing people, it places false ideas in their minds about something which is essentially advanced mathematics.
References:
Ooh..science...shiny...
| Warped [Quantum] Humour | |||||||||
| |||||||||
