|Favourite Town||San Satanos|
|Guild position||Guild Founder & Universal Chronicler|
What Spode was thinking at the time that this article was last edited:
Things known about Spode:
- His name is that of the universal god which zealots worship in a galaxy overpopulated with sentients that speak with weird synthetic voices.
- He cares not for the ongoing war between good and evil because he is a nihilist; this is thought to be a result of knowing the true meaning of life.
- He occasionally plonks the piano, as well as sometimes hitting a few drums, all at the same time too but only if the L.E.D. on his ankle isn't blinking (nobody actually knows what it means).
- He is the unofficial head moderator of the Godwiki and is the author of most of the content. It is said that most pages have been edited by him at least once.
- His mortal slave Hrun is the founder of the Warped Quantum guild. This might mean that Hrun has some intelligence, but probably doesn't.
- His blood can be used to clean precious metals, as well as boil any ostrich egg placed 30 meters away.
The Scrolls of Faith
Last Tuesday, Spode grew tired of Hrun moaning about the lack of a holy book. There were three possible solutions: write a holy book, steal another god's holy book or ignore him. Writing a new one was easy because Spode's literary genius knew no bounds so he quickly finished off a concise guide to being a religious fanatic. The basic purpose was to instruct Hrun on how to inform other heroes of Spode's magnificence. Here are the little bits of scroll which together describe the complete teachings of the great god himself. These shall convince everyone of Spode's divine power! Holy wars are not endorsed by Spode
“The questions of a million years oppress us. Who am I? Why was I made? What is my purpose? What is the purpose of the universe? Shall I survive after death? Can I be happy? Scientists can only tell us about forces and matter. Philosophers chase each other in circles. None of them can really answer the questions that we really care about.”
“Only Spode has the answers. Follow the Law of Spode, and all shall be clear.”
“Faith in Spode quiets all doubt. Spode tells you why you exist, assures you that you have a purpose, tells you how to behave, and assures you of eternal happiness. Those opposed to Spode say that there is no evidence for any of these assertions. But what evidence is needed, beyond the joy in the hearts of those who follow Spode?”
“It is natural for the followers of Spode to wish to spread this joy. This is why we engage in missionary work and in conquest, so that more of Spode's creatures can be brought to Spode's Truth. Reject ye not the traveler, until you know their purpose”
“That is why we are vigilant against those who do not accept the Truth. If false doctrine causes a follower to doubt, that person's eternal happiness is in jeopardy! In order to free ourselves from doubt, we strive to eliminate all who reject Spode's Word.”
“Spode's greatest enemies are the Grox and those who believe in the False God That Will Come.”
“The Grox are a machine race incapable of understanding the Word of Spode. They are a blasphemy in machine form.”
“The Grox prevent us from shining the light of Spode on the center of the galaxy. On the Day of Reckoning, we shall destroy them in Spode's holy name!”
“The God That Will Come is a false deity. If this god exists at all, it is a demon bent on perverting Spode's worship. Whenever you encounter his followers, you should know you have encountered an enemy!”
“Love Spode and follow his Truth! Otherwise, your life is meaningless.”