Difference between revisions of "The Battle Toad"
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Latest revision as of 17:30, 24 July 2020
|The Battle Toad|
|Feature||An amphibian bartender|
The Battle Toad tavern is a place where weary, battleworn heroes can stop for a while for a drink and the good company of other fatigued, battle-scarred heroes.
It is also the only tavern in all of Godville to have a toad in kimono behind a bar. The amphibian bartender is said to never drop a glass, be it full or empty.
Among the drunks, common hooligans, and wandering riff-raff, there seem to be a few that could be considered this humble abode's famous patrons.
Most notable would be the well-known Tsunade-hime, who downs sake like it's water and can mix drinks like nobody's business. In one horrific contest for Best Drunkard Ever™, she drank every drink available and not only didn't lose her stomach contents, but also demanded a discount on sake for the rest of that night.
Patron heroines Misato and her friend Shura hold the current drinking championship at the Battle Toad's bar. Their uncanny ability to empty any and all cans left before them and still kick asses is a sight to behold.
The best-tipping customer (and thus the bartender's favorite) is Kyoraku-san. There is ongoing debate and wagering between other patrons as to whether this fellow is a hero, a stray god, or something else entirely. No one has asked outright, yet, because if anyone spooked the guy, the wrath of the Battle Toad would be great and many lives would be lost.
The history of significant dates, such as fires, floods, and barfights is as long as a toad's tongue and tavern staff don't have the patience to list it, but would like to note that barfights are good for luring heroes and heroines inside. They are a permanent part of the entertainment repertoire
The creature behind the bar is no other than a real Battle Toad. When the monster's heroine retired, she thought she would open a bar so there would always be beer to drink. The canny creature saw the laziness of its master and decided that having heroine as tavern owner was bad for business. The heroine was never seen again, and her name forgotten in tavern history.
Creating a menu is a tricky thing when:
- 1st: You are a toad.
- 2nd: Your customers are a bunch of tasteless
ninja samuraiheroes who wouldn't see a snack if it landed on their noses.
- 3rd: Apparently, human customers don't eat flies.
Wading through these initial difficulties, tavern staff managed to cobble together a list of roughly edible snacks and dishes available for customers.
- Odawara Kamaboko Fish Cakes
- Gane: Sweet Potato Tempura
- Akumaki: Bamboo-wrapped Rice Cake
- Anmitsu and ice cream
- Konpeito Sugar Stars
- Yokohama Gyu-nabe Beef Hot Pot
- Takomeshi: Steamed Octopus with Rice
- Shirokoro Horumon: Grilled Pork Offal
- Nikuman: Steamed Buns filled with Pork
- Yokosuka Kaigun Kare Curry
- Goto Udon
The Battle Toad tavern is known for the restorative properties of its beverages. They not only soothe a beaten hero's pride, but also treat bruises and cuts.
The not-so-secret secret to this phenomenon is that between strong alcoholic drinks the waitstaff serves drinkable healing artifacts.
Heroes just can't seem to remember their names as they are sneakily added to the tab of unsuspecting patrons.
Sure, they let heroes get back to their heroic deeds much quicker, but toads are not THAT altruistic.
Artifacts restore heroes' health, thus making them soberer and allowing for greater consumption of beer. And the bill gets bigger and bigger.
Beers & Lagers
Yummy but Mysterious brews
- Momoshu with sparkling mineral water and ice
- Tropical Punch
- Yuzushu Citrus Refreshment
- Aojiru Delight
- Unlimited potential energy bar
- Essence of awesomeness: Because You Are Worth It
- Yummy Yakult
- Iodine solution Cider
- Chuhai Cocktail
- Umeshu Plum Wine
- Pocari Sweat
- Hoppy  Happy Juice
- Some witnesses dispute that this feat was instead accomplished by Tsukikage Ran, but that wandering samurai cannot be located for comment.
- A traditional sweet, low-alcohol drink made from fermented rice. Can be used as a dessert, snack, natural sweetening agent, baby food, salad dressing, or smoothie.
- Once, there was an accident with breadsticks and chocolate fondue that changed the history of snacking forever.
- Three sweet rice dumplings on a stick. Because everything tastes better on a stick.
- Small, round crackers made with glutinous rice and flavored with soy sauce. Heroes will eat anything mixed with peanuts at a bar.
- These are made of minced and steamed fish paste.
- Glorified french fries.
- May contain flavorings such as anko (red bean mash), agar jelly, mochi (rice cakes), fruits, and/or boiled peas.
- Known monster enthusiast Hayao Miyazaki shows ash monsters with this sweet treat in his documentary movie "Spirited Away."
- LImited-Time Offer! Discount in celebration of getting rid of the nearby Boartender competition!
- Hah! Take that, Boartender!
- Enjoyed by heroines for its faint aroma of camellia flower.
- Fermented from rice. 15-18% alcohol.
- Distilled from sweet potato (imo), barley (mugi), rice (kome), and other ingredients. 25-30% alcohol (up to 45% on a good, illegal day).
- Distilled from long-grain indica rice.
- Low-malt beer.
- Peach liquor
- Yuzu citrus steeped in junmai sake.
- Muahaha, it's not alcohol! 'Tis but “green soup” made from kale!
- It's never too late to try some probiotics.
- It could be beer, it could be wine... who knows?
- Shōchū mixed with soda.
- When you accidentally drop sugared plum in your perfectly good Shōchū.
- Restores electrolytes. That's all you want to know.
- Beer-flavoured beverage, usually mixed with Shōchū. Studies suggest that Hoppy might help with recovery from seasonal depression and respiratory illnesses like pneumonia and bronchitis. Stocked next to Iodine solution cider.
|Taverns and Bars|
|All Inn • At the Dragon • The Battle Toad • Boatmurdered • Caravanserai • The Den of Iniquity • The Drunken Clam • Dunquestin • The Glass Cannon • Khaki-colored Dragon • The Mended Drum • Molotov's Cocktail Bar • Progress Bar • The Rumor Mill • The Rusty Goblin • Shepherd’s Stuff • Space Bar • The Sword & Sandal • The Whinery|