Recruiting new Deities to Godville By: Hairplug4men
How many times have you been asked, "What is this game that you're playing about?" and have no rational explanation to give the questioner? Today's article is going to speak to that. I, personally, am married to someone who often calls it "that stupid game that you play." I have explained it to many people, including her, but it is definitely the hardest game I've ever had to explain. You'd think after this many years of playing it, I would have a good answer.
The login page describes it as this:
- Godville is a massively-multiplayer zero-player game (ZPG). The gist of Godville is that it is a parody on everything from "typical" MMO games with their tedious level ups to internet memes and ordinary day to day things appealing to a wide audience.
But I like to think of it as so much more. I often say that this game can be anything you want it to be. You can be as active or as inactive as you like. :-) It is definitely slow to get into at first, especially when you don't know the ropes, but the quicker you can get online with the other people and make friends and join in activities... I don't see how anybody can not be hooked!
I have noticed that it does attract a certain type of character slightly more than other types. These are the people who play the longest and tend to have the most creative ideas for the game. They are from all corners of the world but have an open mind and a good sense of humor. They enjoy a good book, and tend to be slightly anti-social IRL. But don't take my word for it! Just like every other thing I do in this game, I always make sure to have some other people do a majority of the work. :-) It is my signature, so here's what a few other people describe this game as when talking to friends.
- You create a god or goddess who has a hero or heroine that goes on quests. You can be as involved as you want... from not at all to semi-full control. You can make friends who you can chat with in private messages or on the forums, have fights in an arena, and even make your hero or heroine 'dig' for a 'boss monster' that you fight with other players. Your main objectives are to build a temple, that takes 1000 'gold bricks' to make, and to raise a 'pet' to level 30. Other than that, you just read the witty diary entries that other players have submitted to the game.
- Imagine being a god with an hero. Now imagine your hero doesn't listen to you very well. And you can very well punish him to cinders. Thats what Godville is about. Power with limitation.
~ Rodrigo Augustus
- It is a diamond in the rough. It may not look appealing at first but, once you start playing, there is a wonderful strategy to the game. Never judge a book by it's cover! :-)
~ Rosalind Vivian
- It's a text-based, Zero Player Game - and it's way cooler than that sounds. You can do as much or as little as you want to, be as social (or not) as you want to... But you should want to because there’s a really cool community that plays the game and they aren’t creepy at all... Really! … No, I don’t always explain games to random people at Starbucks. … No, I don’t find this creepy. … Yes, I have “real” friends. … Come on! Just try it!
- Best game I never play.
- Have you ever wanted to not play a game? Specifically, not play an RPG? Worry about what weapon to use, spell to cast, skill to improve, finding a date for your character, or which beer goes with your meal? Then have I got a game for you to not play. It's text-based (so you probably should brush up on your reading skills, you illiterate so-and-so), and you can make friends with people under false pretenses, so they'll never know you're not actually worth befriending (you unbearable soul). Remember your god complex, when you tried to tell everyone around you what to do but usually felt ignored? There's a hero out there in the game for you (you totalitarian jerk). Ever wanted to arbitrarily encourage someone for no good reason and no amount of worthiness on their part (you naive fool) or punish someone without worrying about that annoying thing the rest of us call a conscience (you sadistic bozo)? Then Godville is a non-game for y...is not a game for...is a game for you not to play. Yeah, definitely that last one. Maybe.
It's a game full of dweebs and nerds, who have no qualm over that fact. So you can feel at home in this world (you four-eyed goober). All of that and more, including this last bit:
You know how you've always wanted to pretend you were a "creative" writer and subject people to your ramblings (you mindless dribble producing git)? Allow me to point you toward the forums. And I know you've always thought you were full of good ideas, that would make life a better, more hilarious place. Well, fret no longer over your unvoiced thoughts (you unfunny, one dimensional, over sensitive brat). Check out the ideabox. I'm sure you won't find it difficult to grasp at all... All that being said, yeah, you should definitely check it out (you individual you, who I in no way am singling out any one particular person or demographic for this informative discourse, so you should definitely not be offended as if I was talking specifically to you). (Although, in some subconscious way, I probably was... Just so you know.)
Fun with Fiends
Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville monster) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: Hyper Lynx.
This guy just does. not. stop! Apologies, but this is the best photo we could get.
- Q: Why do you fight heroes?
- A: I used to run a website on Heronet, but it got shut down because nobody visited it no matter what I did to promote it. It's the heroes' fault that my site got shut down, so its purely a sake of revenge and saving up enough gold from the heroes to get a new site and funds to promote it.
- Q: But most heroes don't have computers. Have you considered using Monsternet instead? Possibly promoting on Monsterbook?
- A: Not much. The site is targeted at heroes - after all, it's meant to... eh...
- Q: Meant to what?
- A: I can't tell you. Some other monsters wouldn't like it... It could cost me my fish reserves if it got out.
- Q: … Okay. So, what is your favorite bar/tavern/etc.?
- A: Definitely Progress Bar.
- Q: What kind of hero do you prefer for dinner?
- A: Heroes who didn't visit my original site, filled with the sweet taste of revenge. That's almost all heroes in Godville, too. Yummy...
At this point, the Hypre Lynx began licking his chops and our interviewer, promising to return, hurriedly left and locked himself in the bathroom. We’ve been tossing sammiches through the vents, but this lynx isn’t just hyper, he’s tenacious! Hopefully we’ll get this sorted before next week. If you have a burning question for a Godville monster, or a particular monster you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.
Hidden Shadows Riddles
How to play:
When is a door not a door?
- Each week, a riddle will be posted in here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest.
- To try to solve the riddle, post your answer on Hidden Shadows guild forum.
- Do not worry about the previous posts before you. If your answer is not listed yet, post it!
- You are given three tries. Once you’ve guessed three times, you will be unable to guess again.
- If the riddle is still unanswered two days before the next riddle is posted, anyone will be allowed to guess regardless of number of previous guesses.
- Answer will be posted the day of the new riddle should nobody figure out the answer.
- Winner will get a spot in sowing Sun’s Sunday sock puppet play.
- Play again next week to see if you can win!
The answer to Last Week’s Riddle (I'm loved and hated by many and some. A sweet little thing, I'm creative and fun. I'm here everyday whether you like me or not. Watch me carefully. I tend to cause problems a lot.), in honor of the anniversary of the birth of Lady Shadows on July 24, was Birthday!
This Week’s Riddle:
Pronounced as one, made using three. Two are used within me. I can be single but rare. I'm black, brown, gray and of course sometimes white. Read me either way, you'll get the same story each time.
Famous HM Heroes This Week
|#920 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1167 g.e.
|Fallon Skye - 66th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Blood Moon Mystic ☾”, stands at the 49th position in the pantheon of storytellers under the vigilant supervision of the god Nenalata . Distinctive features: a reckless disregard for danger, and an incredibly high pain threshold caused by repeated exposure to blunt objects.
Member of the Week
Get to know a member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: Vothros
Yeah - he’s that good looking, folks. It’s best not to look directly at him...
- Q: What GV pet would you like to have?
- A: One that doesn't die.
- Q: What are your hero's marketable skills?
- A: He’s easy to kill.
- Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
- A: ...... Yes :)
- Q: Do you have any hidden talents?
- A: Forgetting my hero in the arena to die on his own.
- Q: What is the most memorable thing your hero has done so far?
- A: Side stepping to prevent a falling rock hurting his shoulder and getting a concussion instead. :)
- Q: If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?
- A: That beer guzzling slob? I'd probably go for his toenails. At least those I can wash.
- Q: Of all of the equipment out there, what is your ultimate, dream “outfit” for your hero?
- A: Never thought about it. As long as he remains clothed I'm happy and so are you.
What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
|FOR SALE: Defective hero speaks the wrong language. I have no idea what he’s saying... Err... Will be a great tutor if looking to learn a different language. Call 555-EEE-WHAA
WANTED: Evil genius seeks minions to sacrifice their lives in world domination attempt. Must be prepared to work 24-7 for fascist psychopath for no pay. Messy death inevitable but costumes and laser death rays provided. No weirdos. Call: 555-MWAH-HAHA
FOR SALE: Hero with a map to buried treasure tattooed on back. Won’t stop trying to dig for it. Very annoying. Call: BUY-A-MIRROR
SERVICE: Lesons in englissh grammer kontact I at 1-555-TEECH-ME four mor informayshon
WANTED: 363 gold pieces. Will gladly trade for a nice hat. Call 1-BRN-ERY-SCND
WANTED: Guild surgeon for a new health clinic opening in the area. No experience needed. Must have own tools. Call: STITCHES-4-U
PERSONAL: Will the person who got hit in the head with a tomato in the 1950’s please contact: OOPS-MY-BAD2
WANTED: Someone to clean temple. Could become a full-time position. Must have hula-hoop. Call: WHAT-CAMERA
POSITION AVAILABLE: Are you tired of working for only $ 9.75 an hour? We offer profit sharing, flexible hours, paid vacations and health benefits! Starting pay $5 - $7 per hour depending upon experience. Call:
FOR SALE: Solid oak, handmade casket in good condition. True work of art! Used only once. Pop on it to Charlie’s Chipped Corpse Containers in Deville. A deal this good only comes along once in a lifetime so be sure to visit every lifetime!
LOST: Arm, hand attached. Last seen in an open field. If found please bring it to the
doctor’s office in Anville. I’ll be waiting! Dr. Frank’s lab. Will pay well for your discretion.
Doctor Frank's Advice Corner
|Dear Dr. Frank, |
I'm constantly being followed by noobs. They're always in my way, slowing me down, and trying to take credit for my dirty work! I've shot at them with lightning bolts, rained down upon them with acid, yet they won't stop following me! Worst of all, they call themselves my “minions!” If I wanted minions, I'd adopt yellow tic-tac's! Please, I'm begging you, can you give me ideas on how to quietly "dispose" of them?
Totally creeped out.
Dearest You think you’re creeded out,
Oh, there are ways - so many ways - to dispose of minions, quietly or otherwise! Let’s start with the basics, shall we? They like what they’ve seen so far? Kick it up a notch! They think lightning is fun? Great! How do they like it when it strikes the swimming pool they’re all in? Acid rain makes them giggle? Try napalm! It’s the gift that keeps on giving!
Still thinking of something more... quiet? Just swing on by my lab for a visit. Heck, stay for dinner! I’m sure I can find several recipes that they will... agree with.
I hesitate to mention this last option, but I’d be doing our readers a disservice if I didn’t. Your last resort: If they seem to like what you’ve done so far, try switching it up. Give them rainbows and unicorns instead of lightning and acid. I know, I know - I shudder at these thoughts myself - I’d say “playing nice” like that is downright despicable - but war is war and losing is not an option. Best of luck! I do hope you’ll take me up on my dinner invitation.
Over the Moon
The Weekly Harvest Quiz
Games and winners and prizes! Oh, my!
How to play:
- Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
- Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la Jeopardy!).
- Answers must be submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.
- The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
- The winner of the OtM Championship (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
This week’s Answers:
- This de facto country became no longer a country in 1951.
- The annual HM picnic is scheduled for this weekend. Bella sends the gnomes to buy plates and cups for all of the guests and she iss very clear that they are not to come back without exactly as many cups as plates (1 cup for every plate). Plates are only available in packages of 54 and cups are only available in packages of 42. This is the number of packages of each item the gnomes have to get.
In addition, Dr. Frank makes the gnomes a list of food needed for the picnic:
* The ratio of kitty sammiches to veggie burgers is 9 to 2.
* The ratio of hot dogs to kitty sammiches is 4 to 3.
* The gnomes need to get exactly 24 veggie burgers.
This is ow many hot dogs they will need to buy.
- Ultraviolet, dummy, and stone have this in common.
- This natural remedy is derived from the bark of a willow tree
We have a whole new game a-brewing for this month’s Championship round. Who will be the first contestant? It could be you! See you in the forum!
- What: First Godville National Tournament
When: NOW! Round one is almost over. Stay tuned to the tournament’s wiki for updates.
Where: Logs are being posted on the tournamen forum thread in the Main Square.
Why: Some fights are just as fun to watch as they are to participate in! See what interesting tactics the gladiators come up with to help them overcome the limited-GP hurdle.
- What: Waffle Wednesdays
When: … on Wednesdays. Hello?
Where: The Infinity Waffles guild forum.
Why: Waffles. Need I say more? Waffles for Waffle Wednesday at Infinity Waffles every Wednesday. See? Not so hard. :)