The Generations of Godville
The 5th Generation By: Hairplug4men
I feel like I've met you before...
Last week we discussed the “Spoiled rotten stinking good for nothing worthless.... oh, um... I mean the 4th Generation. Today we’ll take a look at the “altocalypse” or “Altageddon, Altalysm” or...
The Fifth Generation of Godville: 925 g.e. - 1155 g.e
Gods 3 days-7 months old
The developers were busy beavers in this generation, working hard to debut the new Android app and the ability to combine artifacts before their third birthday came up. They kindly rewarded all of us with thirty charges on the game’s birthday, confirming a tradition that now makes non-payers look forward to their 4th birthday. They also took a page from the Weekly Harvest and added games to their paper with the crossword puzzle but they lost credibility when they hired the scam-artist astrologist.
While all this was going on, Alternate accounts were growing at a rapid rate, surpassing numbers imaginable by most players. The prophecies of mottos of old like “Everyone's an alt” were coming true. Guilds were even formed around them with their own missions and roles in Godville.
₳ltoholics ₳nonymous – Founded Dec. 18th. This guild built a coalition of pet rescuers who refuse to let any pet get dead anywhere in Godville.
Another Guild – Founded in Dec. Serves it's purpose as a last refuge for alts where they would be safe from any responsibilities.
The Glorious Guild of Gorgeous George – Founded March 11th. This guild finally gave the proud, few Gorgeous people of Godville a place to avoid the rest of us ugly, disgusting souls.
And least but not last, well last, too, but still... The Order of the Pizza. No one knows anything about this guild except for one, lonely alt, who has plead the 5th slice.
Although fewer active original gods were being created than alts, it seemed, some important members of this generation to get to know are:
- The Only Good God – 6 months old. Expect great things from this god who's full of creativity.
- Dragolord – 5 months old. Only once has he been seen to not be “out”.
- Katie Scarlett – 5 months old. Another ambitious newcomer goddess who can't be friended enough. Her main may be older, but she made her “public debut”, in true debutante fashion, in the 5th Gen.
Favorite HM 5th gen gods:
- Rosalind Vivian – 1 month old. A fun, smart aleck, pure-bred HMer if I’ve ever smelt one.
- NASCAR Fanatic – 2 months old. A speed freak with great plans for the HM grounds.
We are now living in the 6th generation of Godville and it is up to all of us to determine what it will be. I’ve made my predictions for the future, but if we all continue to make this game fun for ourselves and each other, the future will be bright.
Special thanks to Elementarion and Lady Shadows for their help in researching this series of articles. I couldn’t have done it without you two!
At Home with Bella Stewart
| Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!
It's summertime again in Godville, and I don't know about you, but I've been sweltering. Here are some of my favorite ways to cool off:
- Hang out in Dr. Frank-n-furter's laboratory. It's deep in the dungeon, so it stays naturally cool. Plus, you can run around in your underwear and no one will raise an eyebrow. Just make sure you decline, politely but firmly, if he offers to have you for dinner.
- Beat the heat with one of those snow-producing Punishes. So what if your hero complains that ice shards would have been better. Zap his whiny little butt as you relax in your snowbank.
- Once again, to the pup-a-pult! Flinging ice-water balloons is sure to help your neighbors keep their cool. No, it's not as fun as catapulting canines, but the frozen puppies just resulted in a lot of unconscious bodies and ugly lawsuits.
- Treat yourself to the newest drink sensation, the Last Resort Iced Tea! Simply dunk a teabag in a glass of chilled Dark Flame. It tastes awful, but after three of them, you won't care. About anything. At all.
- Throw a moat party! A dip in the moat is sure to cool everyone off, and it's a great excuse to throw a party. Serve penguin smoothie daiquiris, Last Resort Iced Teas, pupsicles, and kitty krunch ice cream. Just be sure to skim off the floating body parts, and mind the Cracked Kraken.
- Try out the summer special at the Harvest Moon Day Spa - a Bloody Mary bath! Similar to the standard Bloodbath, but chilled with worcestershire sauce and tabasco. Makes you tingly all over!
- Hang out with me, Bella Stewart! Not only are you guaranteed to have a Fabulass© time, but some of my natural coolness is bound to rub off on you.
Fun with Fiends
Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville monster) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: Disgruntled Customer.
Snarky McCrankypants at your service!
Note: Our regular interviewer has, inspired by the Philosoraptor interviewed last week, gotten too drunk on Dark Flame this week to make any sensible questions. However, the Philosoraptor has sobered up since then, and will be asking the questions for this edition of the Weekly Harvest. Please bear with us as we attempt to remove the barrel of Dark Flame from the interviewer's clutches.
- Q: If Pinocchio said his nose would grow, would it?
- A: What? Pinocchio? I knew I paid too much for that wooden liar.
- Q: If time gets frozen and then reactivated, for how long was it frozen?
- A: I prefer pre-cooked. I bought some meat labelled pre-cooked two days ago at Mon-Mart, but it was raw! Mon-Mart needs to begin correctly labeling their meat.
- Q: Is a rivalry between two Vegetarian Cannibals still called a beef?
- A: You'll have to ask one. There's one working by the register at Mon-Mart. That mole-dug veggie is way too forward - he tried to deny me my right as a customer to buy meat. If I ever find out who his boss is I'll have him fired.
- Q: What happens if a doctor eats an apple?
- A: Don't speak to me about apples! The last twenty apples I've bought on Mon-Mart were all rotten! Every. Single. One.
- Q: What would you do if all your friends told you not to give in to peer pressure?
- A: I don't know, and I don't care. I'm out of here to go return this so-called fish. Bah, "babel fish", they said. This is salmon! I'm so gonna get that register Cannibal fired...
We do hope our regular interviewer will be back next week. If you have a burning question for a Godville monster, or a particular monster you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.
Hidden Shadows Riddles
How to play:
When is a door not a door?
- Each week, a riddle will be posted in here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest.
- To try to solve the riddle, post your answer on Hidden Shadows guild forum.
- Do not worry about the previous posts before you. If your answer is not listed yet, post it!
- You are given three tries. Once you’ve guessed three times, you will be unable to guess again.
- If the riddle is still unanswered two days before the next riddle is posted, anyone will be allowed to guess regardless of number of previous guesses.
- Answer will be posted the day of the new riddle should nobody figure out the answer.
- Winner will get a spot in sowing Sun’s Sunday sock puppet play.
- Play again next week to see if you can win!
This Week’s Riddle:
I lie waiting, in a rotating room with players who look just like me. We play a game of life and death which none of us can see. We have no skills, except to be fast. Because, in this game, he who hits first is he who hits last.
Famous HM Heroes This Week
|#908 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1155 g.e.
|Lufus - 72nd-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Amulet of Yendor or bust!”, stands at the 192nd position in the pantheon of destruction under the vigilant supervision of the god Falke . We've had many reports that a Decomposing Composer has been afraid to make eye contact with him since their last encounter.
|#910 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1157 g.e.
|Lufus - 72nd-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Amulet of Yendor or bust!”, stands at the 98th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the god Falke . We've had many reports that a Wiki Lynx has been afraid to make eye contact with him since their last encounter.
Member of the Week
Get to know a member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: Rosalind Vivian
Lit by the light of the moon, a violinist plays a somber tune...
- Q: How did you choose HM?
- A: My hero chose Harvest Moon for me, by leading me down the "right" path. Some random voice about Harvest Moon was heard. I thought, why not? :)
- Q: Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
- A: My hero is very naughty with his coin purse because he leaves it in a knot of a tree.
- Q: Name somethings that you and your hero have in common.
- A: It is so creepy, because I was talking to my GV friend and we wondered if our heroes knew what we were thinking; I read my hero's diary and he said, “I wonder what my goddess is thinking.” So, clearly, my hero and I are both psychic. Also, we are both ADHD and lucky has heck. Many of my arena battles were won by luck. I blame the luck of the moon. :)
- Q: What advice would you give a newer player?
- A: Always ask the questions you don't have the answer to. Opportunities will come and the game could be more entertaining. :)
- Q: What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
- A: I would like some nyan cat on my sammich. :)
- Q: Where would your hero go on his first date...assuming he ever gets one?
- A: My hero did ask me (his goddess) on a date. Not going to happen. I think my slightly insane, adventurous hero would go to Unspecifiedistan for a date. :)
What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
|SERVICE: Tired of watching your champion try to impress people who would never consider going on a date with them? Try the Lonely Heroes Dating Service! We’ll help your hero/ine find a match outside the arena!
|FOR SALE: 1000 broken gold bricks! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Where else are you going to find such a good deal? Do you really want to wait for your hero to gather those same old non-broken bricks for you on his/her own time? Get one step closer to building your temple and buy your bricks today! Visit Bob’s Big Box o’ Blocks in Beerburgh today!
WANTED: Hero sitter knowledgeable in hero resurrection, pet rezzing and use of the punish button. Must have patience for dealing with needy, drunk, rebellious heroes. Call VCA-SHUN to discuss details.
FOUND: Lost first-generation hero wandering town square. Last seen heading into an equipment shop murmuring about beer money. Contact GV’s Lost-n-Foundlings to reconnect!
LOST: 7830 gold coins. Last seen in Beerburg where hero last stopped to heal. If found, please deposit into his savings account: #426-543-3464. Thank you!
PERSONAL: Kind, anorexic, idiotic male w/ sun dog. Likes drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking and drinking. Seeking anyone who is interested, preferably female (males are fine, though. He’s really desperate). Please contact The Only Good Man via the Lonely Heroes Dating Service.
FOR SALE: 45 defective Deus ex machinas. You must act now for this limited time offer! For more information call Thingama-Bob’s or stop by today! Located next door to Bob’s Big Box o’ Blocks in Beerburgh!
CALL BACK: Attention! Godville Administrators put in a call back for all activatable Gifts of Fates due to the use of god power. If you or one of your fellow Godvillians comes across a Gift of fate, do not activate! Doing so will quite possible bring an act of good fortune upon your hero.
Over the Moon
The Weekly Harvest Quiz
Games and winners and prizes! Oh, my!
How to play:
- Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
- Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la Jeopardy!).
- Answers must be submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.
- The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
- The winner of the OtM Championship (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
This week’s Answers:
- 2004's “Best Band on the Planet” began with an ad in this paper.
- This is 300 years after 100 BC.
- NASCAR Fanatic owes Idgie Threadgoode 365 kitty sammiches after they bet who could drink the most Dark Flame in a go, which he lost. He promises to start paying it down, but due to having spent all his money on the Dark Flame, he has to save for a year to afford it. Therefore, he decides to start paying down the debt on July 4th, 2015. He will then give Idgie Threadgoode one sammich per day until he is no longer in debt. This is the date he gives Idgie Threadgoode the last sammich.
- Debonair HP4M was murdered on a rainy Sunday afternoon in the HM Guild Hall. At the time of the murder there were: Lady Darkness, Bellatrixie, Doctor Frank-n-furter, Elementarion, and Mistress of Science.
* LD: I was adjusting the height of the torture chamber table.
* Bella: I was making a penguin smoothie for breakfast.
* Doctor Frank: I was “fixing the squeak” on HP4M's... closet door.
* Elementarion: I was mixing up another batch of Dark Flame.
* MoS: I was listening to the soothing moans emanating from the dungeon.
This is who the murderer is.
Congratulations to last week’s winner, Reyas who will be joining Nyrini and Godofbeer in this month’s Championship round! Who will be the final contestant for this round? It could be you! See you in the forum!
- What: First Godville National Tournament
When: Registration is now through the July 19.
Where: Godville arena - all are welcome! Visit the forum and wiki for more info.
Why: Fun! Prizes! All the cool kids are doing it!
- What: Lonely Heroes Dating Service
When: All day, every day!
Where: The Main Square.
Why: Unless your hero/ine can get a date on their own (yeah, right!) you need this!
- Lady Darkness who celebrated her 666th day in Godville this past week, just days after her co-leader and our very own Empress Bellatrixie The Strange ! We’re all so grateful you’ve stuck around to teach us your evil ways, ladies!
- Shadow Luxray who completed his temple this week! We’re very proud of you, Lux... aaaand we may have told some younger players they can crash at your place while theirs are still under construction. Party at Luxxy’s, folks!!