What is the point of Achievements?
Achievements... Why should I care? Well let me tell you something Mr. Questiony-questioner! Some people work really hard to gain these achievements and they believe they mean something pretty important!
Sure everybody will agree the builder achievement comes in handy, I mean the temple rewards alone help will pave the way for taming a pet to level 30. But what about the lesser known, underrated achievements... A former Harvest Moon Elite, turned traitorous tergiversator, Hairplug4men 庙畜 (U • C • T) explains "Achievements serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever, except in showing how much more awesome you are than everyone else. Did I tell you I had 8 first ranks?" The editors here cut him off as he rambled on. In general, the achievements most important to your hero/ine's well being are the Builder, Animalist, and Coaching Achievements. These three are recommended as working towards them will build a strong friend base for you, and a strong life for your hero. The rest will come with time. Lastly, under no circumstances do we here at the Weekly Harvest recommend any Harvest Moon member go for the silly, stupid, worthless Renegade and Careerist achievements, thank you.
At Home with Bella Stewart
| New feature: Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, or very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!
The holiday season is upon us, and if you're like me (lazy...erm, I mean busy), you just don't have the time or inclination to spruce up your home before your guests arrive. Don't panic! These handy tips will have your place looking fantastic with hardly any effort at all!
- Mix a little dry mustard with unbleached flour for a perfect dust substitute. Turn that ceiling fan on and toss handfuls in the air to achieve maximum coverage.
- No living room sacrifices lately? No problem! Ketchup mixed with a little flour and water will make a realistic blood-like substance, even as it dries. Be sure to drop cupfuls from at least three feet for the best splatter effect.
- Unexpected guests and you're out of kittens for sammiches? Fool them all by substituting mashed canned chicken and Spam. Topped with mustard and a heavy shake of cayenne pepper, and no one will know WHAT they're eating!
Next week: make your own holiday decorations for under 10 gold coins! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send Bellatrixie the Strange (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.
Get To Know a Deity
|Here we sit down weekly with a Harvest Moon warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week's guest is a god of few words but much heart (in jars in his basement): ThirdEye0pen 庙畜
- Q: What song do you love to dance to?
- A: Ice Ice Baby (He broke into a fit of maniacal laughter.)
- Q: Do you have any hidden talents?
- A: I can memorize the lyrics to songs really easily. (He began singing "Ice Ice Baby".)
- Q: What color underwear are you wearing?
- A: No color, commando. (The interviewer did not ask for proof.)
- Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
- A: Very much so, yes. (He choked up a bit and couldn't continue on the subject.)
- Q: How do you like to spend your free time?
- A: Vacationing in Hawaii or Vegas. (The next hour was spent watching a stunning PowerPoint presentation of TE0 skydiving in exotic locales.)
If you have a burning question for Harvest Moon's Deities, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!
|All members are urged to come to the Harvest Moon Day Spa! The gnomes are getting bored and restless, and, frankly, some of you are starting to smell. This week only: get a free hornicure with every alignment adjustment!
Famous HM Heroes This Week
|#684 GODVILLE TIMES Day 921 g.e.
|Awkwardly Bouncing - 50th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “陰 Bounce the Bolt Baby ☾”, stands at the 13th position in the pantheon of gladiatorship under the vigilant supervision of the Imprecise Master . He always wanted to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous for Heroes meeting, but never found the time.
|#687 GODVILLE TIMES Day 924 g.e.
|Samuel Vimes - 74th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, “Sentinel of the Moon ☾”, stands at the 44th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the Belteshazzar . He is a huge fan of Monsterdam’s pubs.
Member of the Week
| Get to know a newer member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: Kure
- Q: How did you choose HM?
- A: Well, as much as I'd hate to admit it, I really look up to my older Brother, Nen. He had a big part in my guild selection. We have more in common than we'd both like to admit. :p So I looked into it. Loved it. Joined. Never looked back. ;)
- Q: Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
- A: Coin purse? What coin purse!? Vey is just as poor as I am. :p
- Q: Name something(s) you and your hero have in common.
- A: See above answer. :))
- Q: What advice would you give a young player?
- A: Whachutalkinabout!? I am a young player! ;) No, in all seriousness, believe in your guild mates. They're your family. Listen to what they've got to say. You might learn something.
- Q: What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
- A: I like mine plain... just make it a double. ;)
What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
|Lost: Galldemort's Icarus wings. If found, please keep them.
|Employment opportunity: Assemble and sell fake gold bricks to noobs in your spare time. Enormous earning potential. no experience necessary. Call 1-800-LEVEL10
|Wanted: Looking for a person to write ads about looking for a person to write ads about. Call 123-456-SPAM
|Open audition: Looking for a Latin American dancer willing to dance the forbidden Evil Moon cha-cha with Hammrsgl for the grand finale of Harvest Moon Idol (HM is not responsible for injuries incurred during production). Auditions will be held in the guild hall starting at noon PST, day 929 g.e.
|Free: Hundreds of happy, smiling bunnies. Will follow you wherever you go. Cannot be destroyed. Please pick up as soon as possible! Call 1-866-HELP-ME
|Wanted: Assistant for brewing potions. Preferably evil. Must have good references and knowledge of different species of rats and beetles. Apply in person inside the HM kitchen.
Doctor Frank's Advice Corner
|Dear Dr. Frank
My hero is torturing me! As soon as the pay check is given, it’s off to the tavern to buy that "thing" that shall not be named (for fear that it will be overheard and thus purchased). Can you help with this nightmare?
Signed, I really want a temple
You cannot keep a hero from drinking alcohol any more than you can keep a runner in your pantyhose from going all the way down your leg should you get one while running in heels. It's the nature of the beast. Let the hero give in to his Id, unleash his desires at the pub, wake up bleary-eyed and in need of a shoulder to lean on! How else do you think anyone will ever convince him to complete some of these nutty quests? And just how will he get bricks for your temple without quests, hmm? Good luck!
No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for Doctor Frank-n-furter to any member of the staff or send them via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.