Guild Promotions: Why and How
Become a big-wig in a ZPG!
Everyone can be somebody!
Lately I've been thinking about what it takes for someone to gain status and responsibility in a Zero Player Game. I was also wondering: why would someone want this? The second part was easy. The whole reason I fell in love with this game was because it allowed me to be as active or as inactive as I wanted to be. Godville allows you to take any talent you have and frame your game experience around it. Plus, I was good at it.
As for how to move up in the game, I first sang,
So you wanna be a guild superstar and live large?
A big hall, five bars, you're in charge
Comin' up in Godville, don't trust nobody
Got to look over your shoulder constantly
Then I thought it might be better to ask those in the know, guild leaders. I first went to our very own Mistress of macabre...
- After long and arduous training, the one who
sends me the most charges is best qualified is promoted to the Blood Council. ~Bellatrixie the Strange
Accurate, sincere and devilish! So I thought I should ask an elder of the admittedly leaderless, goodie Slaves to Armok guild...
- Active (but not disruptive or overbearingly so - doesn't derail convos, demand attention, or "rule" the GC), participates in guild activities, helpful to their guildmates and the guild (stats, support, sooo many ways to be helpful), friendly, positive attitude, excited about their guild (not likely to leave in the next 5 minutes), shares their knowledge, and - perhaps most important - does any/all of this without expecting recognition for it. :p ~Dogess
WOW! That sounded like a lot of work to not be a leader, so I figured I should probably ask someone who would expect a little less of me and went to no guild.
- I'm not the only leader in the cause, so it's a group decision, but I suppose the main criteria we look for are along the lines of friendly people with the ability and wish to be part of the inner workings. Since we don't have much of a hierarchy like Harvest Moon has with DMs in between, and of course due in part to the fact that we are a lot smaller, promotion rounds in no guild are somewhat more rare - so far we've had a grand total of one. ~Throll
Selective! I liked that, but by this time I had people lining up to tell me what they look for in a potential new promotees ...
- Lots of things. Activity, enthusiasm for the guild, a willingness to help out, positivity, encouraging, etc. Is resourceful in at least one area of GV and understands the sacredness of Ni. ~Nuanen
- Active people who can use the basic parts of the game. Higher promotions require game experience and knowledge followed with a little humour. 1st basic ranks are mostly for guild chat. Palringo normally gets the senior NCO ranks. It's a deep process, as we talk about promotions here on Palringo in our officer room. And what don't get seen in Pal is who votes. We have documents. ~Sniper404
Then came the stragglers, who I suspect thought I was talking about something else...
- Mostly enthusiasm and participation... why? ~Shannonus
And, finally, the guild ran by my lovely wife in a glass. I realized she has very lax security...
As you can see, it doesn't take much. Or it can take exactly everything you have to “level up” in this game amongst your friends and peers. But at least it gives you something more to shoot for while you are doing nothing but watching your stupid hero.
At Home with Bella Stewart
| Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!
I'm fresh out of ideas, so it's time to look in the ol' mail bag again for inspiration. I'll just dump all the letters out on this table here and we can pick out the one that...hmm. One whole letter. Well, let's hope it's a good one. If this week's column sucks, too bad. It's not my fault I'm not deluged with questions and quandaries from you, my readers. Can't be bothered to buy a stamp? Lost the ability to write? Are your lives so perfect you don't need me? I don't think so! Maybe next week I'll guest write Rants from a Geezer and really tell you what I think! Why, in my day...well, I'll leave that for next week. Onward to the one wonderful reader who cared enough to write me.
Dear Ms. Bella: Almost every time my hero goes to dig, his pet shoves him out of the way and grabs a bone. I used to think it was cute, in a macabre sort of way, but these things turn out to be dinosaur bones, completely made of rock. They're piling up at my temple. The museum doesn't want them, not even the skull, because of tooth marks and dubious provenance. What can I do with them?
Signed, Beleaguered by Bones
My dear Beleaguered,
A big pile of dinosaur bones? How delightful! I don't understand your quandary - at Harvest Moon, we'd be fighting over who got to decorate their room with them! So I may be going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing you must be a, dare I say it, goodie goody? Well, there's nothing this Evil Empress likes more than a challenge (and this is a BIG one)! Uses for dinosaur bones that even Pure Good! gods and goddesses can approve of:
- Paint them rainbow colors (shudder) and use them as doorstops and paperweights.
- Using fishing line, make mobiles and hang them in your flower gardens for butterflies to rest on.
- Cover with peanut butter, roll in bird seed and hang from the tree branches to feed your bluebirds of happiness.
- Make some melodic wind chimes. I hear their tinkling music soothes fretful unicorns.
- Hollow out the vertebrae to make lovely planters for your spring flowers.
- Paint them gold and build a puppy house out of them behind your temple.
- Decorate them with long pastel ribbons for a toy any kitten will love.
- Cover with floral fabric and....
I'm sorry. I just can't go on. This is sacrilege and a waste of good bones. The best idea is to give them to your evil friends. Trust me, we'll know what to do with them. Now I'm off to the Harvest Moon Day Spa for dsza good, long blood bath and an alignment adjustment to wash all this sweet stuff off of me. Rainbow bones? What was I thinking?
Get To Know a Deity
Here we sit down weekly with a Harvest Moon warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week’s Deity is: Elementarion 庙
This kitty ain’t for eatin’ - he’s a cat out of hell!
- Q: What is your favorite salty snack?
- A: Potetgull, or salted kitten skin. Salted deer eyes work too.
- Q: What song do you love to dance to?
- A: "Turn Around" with Westlife, among very many others. I love music. As an alternative, though, the screams from the Harvest Moon torture chambers can be quite groovy too.
- Q: What are your hero's marketable skills?
- A: Swoop of the smith, foot massage, knight's move and spoon bending - Aricatus could be able to get work in a smithy, the HM spa, a chess tournament or a psychic center. For the spa, he might as well combine two skills and practice some foot bending to blend right in with the gnomes.
- Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
- A: (face like stone) Encourage? No. (stone face starts cracking) Ne-ve-ve-never! (bursts into tears)
- Q: Do you have any hidden talents?
- A: I have a hidden talent of not having hidden talents, which I obviously fail at.
- Q: If you had to choose between frolicking with butterflies or hugging a puppy, which would you choose and why (death is not an option).
- A: The latter, as it's easier to strangle puppies than butterflies.
- Q: If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?
- A: Aricatus is mostly flesh, fat and bone (not much brains or muscles, obviously), so I might as well peel off the flesh first.
If you have a burning question for Harvest Moon's Deities, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!
Famous HM Heroes This Week
|#855 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1102 g.e.
|Girl Friday – 83rd-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Blood Moon Devourer ☾”, stands at the 18th position in the pantheon of templehood under the vigilant supervision of the god Omicod . She is deeply gratified by her place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.
|#856 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1103 g.e.
|Klon - 65th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “All rights reserved.”, stands at the 65th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the god Kelon . All he ever wanted was a little love and affection.
|Fallon Skye - 63rd-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Blood Moon Mystic ☾”, stands at the 173rd position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Nenalata . She is a huge fan of Dogville’s pubs.
|#857 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1104 g.e.
|Argoet - 81st-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Champion of the Moon ☾”, stands at the 4th position in the pantheon of templehood under the vigilant supervision of the god Ulvolose . Distinctive features: a reckless disregard for danger, and an incredibly high pain threshold caused by repeated exposure to blunt objects.
|#858 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1105 g.e.
- Rumor has it that Lady Up Above submits especially good ideas and votes for the submissions of others.
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
RECALL: Goody-goody gumdrops. Any goody-goodies who purchased these in hopes of an alignment adjustment towards the bright side should return them for a full refund to Ye Olde Candy Shoppe and Taco Cart behind the Godville Arena.
WANTED: Metal unitard. Must be bullet proof and flame resistant. Deliver to the bear trap in front of Ceccetticat's temple. Speedy delivery please! If you see a guy with a tranquilizer gun, knock him out and keep walking.
FOR SALE: Gold coins. Only 3 coins a piece! Throw in a golden brick and I'll make it 2! Call 555-FOOLS for more information.
WANTED: Catnip and machete. Deliver to the god in black jacket and a silly-looking top hat at the corner near the cat kennel in Los Adminos. Will be well rewarded.
FOR SALE: Can’t seem to get enough protein? Goody-goody gumdrops (for the cannibal in you!) available half price, this week only, at Ye Olde Candy Shoppe and Taco Cart behind the Godville Arena.
Fun with Fiends
Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville monster) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: Cracked Kraken.
Don’t want to be dinner? Take a bath!
- HMWH: Why are you cracked?
- CK: It happened long ago. I had eaten some rotten seafood (a dam-burger, I think) and was feeling sick, whimpering like a hurt puppy, when a Harvest Moon hero with poor eyesight passed by.
- HMWH: What is your favorite bar/tavern/etc.?
- CK: The Drunken Clam, of course. The chain location in Monstratlantis serves some great Bloody Hero.
- HMWH: Do you like catfish sammiches?
- CK: Catfish sammiches? Yuck, no. They taste like clean hero. Hero sammiches, however, are great. The sweatier the better, and since they often get exhausted during their futile resistance, they usually are as sweaty as I like them.
- HMWH: Do you think you could be mistaken for an iceberg when partially underwater?
- CK: Is this about that unsinkable ship that sunk again? As I've told others time after time, I didn't sink that ship! ...my father did.
- HMWH: What kind of hero do you prefer for dinner?
- CK: For dinner? Oh, that's a tough one. I prefer sweaty heroes for lunch and smaller meals, but for dinner, I think I'll go with suspicious-looking heroes. They're so fishy and tasty.
We’d like to thank the Cracked Kraken for spending this time with us and for not eating us on his way out the door.
If you have a burning question for a Godville monster, or a particular monster you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.
Over the Moon
The Weekly Harvest Quiz
You can’t win if you don’t play!
How to play:
- Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
- Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la Jeopardy!).
- Answers must be submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.
- The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
- The winner of the OtM Championship (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
This week’s Answers:
- This is the number of posts per page on the Godville forums.
- True/False: A hero may upgrade a skill when when he or she has an aura of abstinence.
- These are the winners of the Summer No-Influence Tournament.
- These are the names associated with the avatars below, in order, left to right:
Congratulations to Miss SixthSatan , last week’s winner! Who will win this week and join her in the Championship round? It could be you! See you in the forum!
A Diggers Tale
Down through the passage, a mole
Why did I go dig that hole?
It stinks it smells,
My finger swells
And all 'twas dug up was a mole
Written by: Miss SixthSatan