Vote For Your Favorite
This is a very new feature to Harvest Moon
, and we want to make it awesome for you, our awesome guildies. That being said, we need a title for this great, weekly paper. Here are your choices:
- Mooner Times
- Harvest Gazette
- The Weekly Phase
- The Weekly Moonie
- The Crimson Record
- Horrorville Times
- Dark Tales of the Moon
- Weekly Scream
- The Full Moon
- The Weekly Harvest
Harvest Moon Elite
|HM Representatives in the next ToC
|The Tournament of Champions is hosted by Harvest Moon and our guild allies and friends. This time the 2nd ToC is taking a page from The Hunger Games, taking two heroes from eight separate guilds and fighting till only one is left standing. JmfC 庙畜 and God of Tasty 庙畜 will be representing Harvest Moon in the next Tournament of Champions! HM has yet to bring home this award, but this time we have spiked the well water at all the other guild halls and tampered with their weapons. Honor to HM and may the odds ever be in our favor...
Get To Know a Diety
|Here we sit down weekly with a Harvest Moon warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week's guest is Hammrsgl 庙畜
- Q: What song do you love to dance to?
- A: Anything that involves a Latin American dance partner.
- Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
- A: Encourage? That's for <censored>. Punish! Then Punish again!
- Q: What color underwear are you wearing?
- A: Red - on the outside of my Superwoman suit.
- Q: How do you like to spend your spare time?
- A: Dig, punish, find treasure, check pantheons!
If you have a burning question for Harvest Moon's Dieties, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!
|Membership dues are way behind this quarter. Don't forget to send your credit card and/or bank account information along with your hero/ine's date of birth, mother's maiden name (a vial of her blood will do if spelling is an issue), a photo of the hero's first pet, and a full set of fingerprints to Bellatrixie The Strange. Charges are accepted in lieu of cash.
Famous HM Heroes This Week
|#661 GODVILLE TIMES Day 898 g.e.
|Fyurie - 51st-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “(┌・。・)┌ ~~☾☾”, stands at the 28th position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Kyrin 庙 . The heroine has no distinctive features to date; however, she promises to get some before her next appearance.
|Fallenfairy - 14th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Mwahaha *cough* *cough*”, stands at the 140th position in the pantheon of destruction under the vigilant supervision of the god Darkerhero . She was known to distribute counterfeit Godville invites during her youth.
|#662 GODVILLE TIMES Day 899 g.e.
|Yenke - 60th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Fell deeds awake!”, stands at the 121st position in the pantheon of gratitude under the vigilant supervision of the god Biran 庙 . We've had many reports that a Grand Theft Automaton has been afraid to make eye contact with him since their last encounter.
|#665 GODVILLE TIMES Day 902 g.e.
|Attila The Warrior - 65th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Veni, vidi, vici!”, stands at the 37th position in the pantheon of taming under the vigilant supervision of the god Th3 D3str013r 庙畜 . He always wanted to take a trip down memory lane, but never found the time.
|Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
|Wanted: Generic “Evil” in a bottle. Payment varies based on quality and amount. Call: 1-800-ALIGN4ME with info.
|Missing: German pretzel rolls with blue cheese, last seen on one of HM’s brimstone plates. If found contact Syrocko 庙畜 immediately! Note: failure to do so will result in a very hungry, and angry, god.
|Has your hero figured out your schedule? Are you waking up every morning to find that your hero had died yet again?!? We have the answer! Call: 866-SLEEPIN for a free consultation. Get control of your minion again. Call today! (Service fees do apply. Credit is available; ranking in the Savings Pantheon may be used to determine your credit score.)
Doctor Frank's Advice Corner
|Dear Dr. Frank,
I have been diagnosed with SDD (Synchronized Digging Disorder). What do you believe is the best treatment? Providing that it does not include: stop using the word “Dig”, absence of the gold diggers group, or any avoidance of… well, joint digging?
Signed, Stuck in a Hole
Dearest Hole-y Mole-er,
You've got a little... problem. I can dig it. Come on up to the lab, and bring your cute little shovel. We'll break the surface, dig down deep into your psyche, and unearth the root of your problem. Trust me, I can make you a... new... man!
No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for Doctor Frank-n-furter to any member of the staff or via email to firstname.lastname@example.org.