Difference between revisions of "Talk:Harvest Moon"

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This week’s featured topic: '''Miracles'''
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This week’s featured topic: '''Voice Commands'''
  
 
Other useful links:
 
Other useful links:
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|'''''The best newspaper you’re reading right now.''''' #14
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|'''''Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.''''' #15
 
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{| id="mp-left" style="vertical-align:left; background:#E3DAC9;"
! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Miracles'''</p>
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Voice Commands'''</p>
 
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| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk">[[File:WhatMiracle.jpg|right|thumb|Oops! I was just hoping you’d heal.]]
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| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk">[[File:VCs.jpg|right|thumb|He’s. Not. LISTENING!]]
So your hero completed temple and a new button appeared on your [[remote control]]. Hooray! What do you do with it now?
+
You downloaded a ZPG. You made yourself a hero/ine. You watched them fumble and bumble about Godville. You noticed an “Input the voice of god” box to type in. You typed, “Hi, little hero/ine!” or “Dance for me, monkey!” … and nothing happened. Maybe you looked at the wiki and tested some things out. Maybe you saw a funny “random shout” from another god/dess and were inspired. Or maybe you became frustrated and just gave up trying to speak to your hero/ine. No need to throw your phone at the wall or jump on your computer keyboard in frustration! Voice Commands (VCs) are actually pretty simple and can reward you with Godpower (GP) if you string them together in a way others find even a little entertaining.
  
'''Miracles in the Arena'''
+
Different VCs work in different places. What works while questing, may not work while fighting a monster, and what works against a monster may not work in the arena. What works in the arena is exactly the same as what will work against a boss monster, however. Rather than list what words do and don’t work, (it’s a long list and will soon be updated in its entirety on [https://sites.google.com/site/harvestmoonguild/home our website]), we’ll focus on how to make those words work better for you.
  
While not generally a “winning strategy,” miracles can be used in the arena. They may steal experience from your opponent, damage their equipment or sap some of their god power, and are pretty much guaranteed to tick off your opponent, but they will not heal you or harm your opponent. They rarely, if ever, affect the outcome of a match and, for this reason, are generally not recommended.
+
* Most experienced players would agree that your hero/ine will listen better to complete sentences. Example: don’t just say “pray”, put it in a sentence, such as “I pray you listen to me this time.” Or, “I feel all warm and fuzzy when you pray to me.“
 +
* Not having any luck? Try asking your hero a question instead of making a statement. Example: “Why won’t you pray to me?” Or, “Maybe I’ll listen to your prayers when you listen to me. Deal?
 +
* Try putting more than one “trigger” word in a sentence from the same category. Example: “Worship, pray and offer a sacrifice!” contains four words that can trigger your hero praying or sacrificing to gain you some GP.
 +
* Unless you really don’t care what your hero does, try not to mix your VC categories (don’t tell him/her to pray, heal, and attack something all at once - they’ll only listen to one and you have no control over which it will be).
 +
* You have a 100-character limit, so don’t waste your GP trying to send a witty novel that happens to have “pray” as its last word.
 +
* Be aware that not all of the trigger words are obvious. Saying, “What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you return to town?” may either make your hero pray ''or'' go to the nearest town. Why? The words “with you” are a pray command, while “return” and “town” are town VCs.
 +
* Words don’t have to be obvious to work. Hiding a command within another word can go a long way towards making your VCs creative enough to get you votes from other gods. Telling your heroine she uses too much “hairspray” or waxing philosophic about your love for “spray” cheese will work just as well as “pray.
  
'''Miracles in a Boss Monster Fight'''
+
''Next week:'' Your favorite VCs and/or “mystery” VCs (“why did my hero do X when I said Y - what’s the trigger?”). Send in your favorites!
 
 
In the “monster arena,” a miracle will either break the Boss Monster’s artifacts or allow you to suck experience points from the Boss like a hungry little spider. There is no benefit to breaking artifacts, and the xp you get from the monster isn't typically worth angering your allies over. If your allies are on board (all templed and only in it for the Hunter achievement), go for it!
 
 
 
'''Miracles in the Field'''
 
 
 
While questing, a miracle may heal your hero completely, upgrade their equipment a bit, give them an artifact, help them progress on their quest (25% on regular quests, 5% on epic quests) or kill the monster they are currently fighting instantly.
 
 
 
'''Miracles in Town'''
 
 
 
Find yourself in town with some gp to burn? Toss around a miracle or two and gain a decent amount of influence for your guild! They work the same way as Punish/Encourage in town, but are more likely to give influence than P/E and give a greater amount of influence as well. Other than guild influence, miracles can have the same effects in town that you’ll see in the field (healing, items, etc.).
 
 
 
Now, get out there and play with your immense power! No temple yet? No stress. It’ll happen one day. In the meantime, enjoy the journey!  
 
 
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| [[File:Bella Stewart.jpg|thumbnail|Queen of evil]] '''Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!'''
 
| [[File:Bella Stewart.jpg|thumbnail|Queen of evil]] '''Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!'''
  
This week, I'll be answering reader questions, apparently sent in to prevent another musical interlude. (My evil plan worked - heh heh.) So, without further ado, it's time to open the mailbag!
+
Can't zip your pants without lying down? Do your upper arms keep waving after your hand has stopped? Tired of running around Godville as a muffin top? Shed those winter pounds with Bella's Awesome Drink, Diet and Exercise Regimen (BADDER)! Remember, bigger doesn't always mean badder!
 
 
* ''Dear Bella, Valentine's Day is just around the corner. My girl friend is the Goddess of a Blue Feather hero. What in the name of the Random do I give a goody-goodie for Valentine's?''
 
 
 
This can be quite the quandary. We evil Gods and Goddesses certainly can't risk being seen purchasing rainbow hearts and pink roses. My rule of thumb is, what they don't know can't hurt you. Presentation is key. Give them red heart-shaped kitten sammiches and tell them it's chicken. No need to mention what the red stuff is. They'll just be thrilled you made them yourself.
 
  
* ''Dear Bella, What shape should my temple be? A pyramid is so yesterday.''
+
* Drinking can really put on the pounds. Forget the beer and ale, leave the margaritas alone. Stick to pure, wholesome Dark Flame. It's proven to raise the body temperature by ten degrees, so you sweat those pounds away! That's right - drink LOTS of it!
 +
* Starve those kittens! Leaner meat in those kitten sandwiches means a leaner you! Try fresh veggie garnishes instead of mayo, and thin-slice that bread.
 +
* Use skim milk in your penguin smoothies. Now that Hairplug4men is back where he belongs, we have a ready supply. And skip the whale fat!
 +
* To pare down those upper arms, fill a large tankard to the brim with Dark Flame. Lift, drink, return SLOWLY to the bar, repeat. When empty, refill and do the same using your other arm. In effect, you're killing two puppies with one stone! (See above)
 +
* Now that you've finished all that Dark Flame, it's time for some aerobics! Nothing gets the old heart pumping like drunkenly chasing puppies around the castle! Crawl under those tables! Fall over the chairs! Careen around the corners! Stagger up the stairs! Feel the burn!
 +
* Once you catch one of the little buggers, it's time for your lower body workout. Right leg back, hold it...hold it...hold it...now swing it forward and kick that puppy in half! Chances are you missed since you're seeing double by now, so repeat with the opposite leg. Alternate until you make contact.
 +
* Finally, to target that midsection! By now you'll be collapsed on the floor. Have an exercise buddy stand over you holding another tankard of Dark Flame. Now attempt to sit up and Reach! Reach! Reach! Relax and repeat until (a) your buddy drinks it all himself or (b) you pass out.
  
Pyramids are most definitely outre! Two words: feng shui. Design your space with fluid lines that allow energy to flow unimpeded through your temple. This makes it much easier to navigate when drunk, and chasing puppies is much more fun.
+
Too much work, you say? You lack discipline? You just don't care enough? Don't worry - I think all evil gods and goddesses look pretty darned natty in black hooded capes.
  
* ''Dear Bella, I'm an evil god. Should I make a special room for my goody friends so they feel comfortable when visiting?''
+
'''Next week:''' Send in your questions, or I'll sing again! Mwaahahaha!  
 
 
Absolutely not! Variety is the spice of life! Give them an experience they'll be talking about for years to come, I say. That said, you may want to make sure they steer clear of Dr. Frank's laboratory... And some goody-goodies are remarkably adaptable. Just look at Dogess!
 
 
 
* ''Dear Bella, My hero keeps getting these pesky stains on his armor from all the -blood- barbecue sauce dripping out of his kitten sandwiches.  Any tips to remove it so he doesn't keep buying new armor?''
 
 
 
Remove blood stains? But why? I like my heroes bloody! He's going to throw away a ton of gold on new armor regardless. Just punish the heck out of him when he does. You know you want to.
 
 
 
* ''Dear Bella, I have a problem: my dragon has “accidents,” if you know what I mean. She keeps trying to blame the dog, but dragon poo bears no resemblance to the dog variety. What do I do? (And you can't say kill the dragon - she knows where you live.) Please help, because I really don't want to hear you sing again. Signed, Iduna.''
 
 
 
Dragon dung can definitely add a certain ambiance to your castle. But seeing that you're not of the evil persuasion, I'm guessing you're immune to its delights. Pity. I suggest you send all your puppies to us. Then your dragon will have no one to blame but herself.
 
 
 
'''Next week:''' Shed those unwanted winter pounds with Bella's diet and exercise regimen!  
 
  
 
''Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send {{god|Bellatrixie the Strange}} (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.''
 
''Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send {{god|Bellatrixie the Strange}} (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.''
 
|-
 
|-
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> '''Over the Moon''' ''(The Weekly Harvest Quiz)''</p>
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| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;"> '''Over the Moon'''</p>
 
|-
 
|-
|[[File:OverTheMoon.jpg|thumb|right|We've got games, we've got prizes, all that’s missing is a theme song.]]'''How to play:'''
+
|[[File:OverTheMoon.jpg|thumb|right|We've got games, we've got prizes... we really need a theme song. Suggestions welcome!]]'''How to play:'''
 +
 
 +
This week, we have a crossword puzzle!
  
* Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
+
* Answer to the Final Question (below) must be submitted via the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/546 Harvest Moon Forum]. ''Answer only, please! Don’t give hints to non-WH readers.''
* Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la ''Jeopardy!'').
+
* The first god/dess to get the answer right will win four (4) charges ''and'' be automatically entered to play in the '''Over the Moon Championship''', held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
* Answers must be submitted via the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/546 Harvest Moon Forum]. ''Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.''
 
* The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges ''and'' be automatically entered to play in the '''Over the Moon Championship''', held monthly on Palringo (Yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play. No, members of the paper staff are not eligible to win the weekly quiz or the challenge).
 
 
* The winner of the '''OtM Championship''' (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
 
* The winner of the '''OtM Championship''' (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!
  
'''This week’s Answers:'''
+
'''''Across'''''
  
1) This is the level in which a hero obtains his first skill.
+
* '''1.''' Steals experience, damages equipment, or saps godpower
 +
* '''2.''' Keeps hero from getting into skirmishes
 +
* '''3.''' Most evil guild according to Unity
 +
* '''4.''' Made of golden bricks
  
2) These are five of possible abilities of a Boss Monster.
+
'''''Down'''''
  
3) This is what a hero likes to do '''best'''.
+
* '''5.''' Can make bricks
How he does it is anyone's '''guess'''.
+
* '''6.''' A town
It may be canceled upon your '''request''',
+
* '''7.''' Place to receive charges, gold, or XP
But then he'll just find another '''______'''.
+
* '''8.''' Sowing Sun AG_
 +
* '''9.''' Coaching, 1st rank
 +
* '''10.''' Pet type
 +
* '''11.''' May have the Faithless ability
  
4) Two levels ago, Hero A was twice the level of Hero B. If Hero B is currently level 10, then this is the current level of Hero A.
+
'''Final Question:'''
 +
* Unscramble the eight letters in the red boxes to form a palindrome on “How to be an HM Member.
  
'''''Congratulations to last week’s winner: {{God|Artsonian|temple=0}}''''' Who will challenge her in the very first OtM Championship? It could be you! '''''See you in the forum! Good luck!'''''
+
'''''Congratulations to last week’s winner: {{God|GigglesMcGee}}'''''! Giggles will join Artsonian in this month’s '''OtM Championship'''. There are two spots left. Who will go up against these two sharp-witted competitors? It could be you! '''''See you in the forum! Good luck!'''''
 
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! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Famous HM Heroes This Week</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Famous HM Heroes This Week</p>
 
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|-
! style="padding:2px;" | #763 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1002 g.e.
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! style="padding:2px;" | #765 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1004 g.e.
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|-
 +
| '''The Dart''' - 71st-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Its got fangs!”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=1#p_29 29th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Tradwolley}}. His worst enemy - a Blade Runner. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a blue tooth. He is also a huge fan of Last Resort’s pubs.
 
|-
 
|-
| '''Darmani''' - 63rd-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “☾ Then the moon drops ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/destruction?page=2#p_148 148th position] in the [[pantheon of destruction]] under the vigilant supervision of the goddess {{god|The Woodfall Moon}}. His dream is to master the “liana-eyebrows” skill and then offer lessons in exchange for gold bricks.  
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! style="padding:2px;" | #766 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1005 g.e.
 
|-
 
|-
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Member of the Week</p>
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| '''Agus Maximus''' - 45th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/destruction?page=2#p_179 179th position] in the [[pantheon of destruction]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|The Amazing Spiderman}}. He is a huge fan of Los Adminos’s pubs.
 
|-
 
|-
| [[File:GigglesMcG.jpg|thumb|left|Evil’s just another word for nothing better to do...]]Get to know a newer member of [[Harvest Moon]]! This week's guest is: {{God|GigglesMcGee}}
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! style="padding:2px;" | #767 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1006 g.e.
* '''Q:''' How did you choose HM?
+
|-
* {{color|red||'''A:''' I chose Harvest Moon because my hero couldn't hide his inner evil any more. Plus, the Dark Side always promises cookies so I couldn't say no.}}
+
| '''Zostacular''' - 60th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Don't hate, Zostaculate!☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=2#p_134 134th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Zoson}}. All she ever wanted was a little love and affection.
* '''Q:''' Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
+
|-
* {{color|red||'''A:''' He keeps it right on his belt, in a bag marked "Cursed- dispose at all costs". Strangely nobody ever seems to want his gold.}}
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! style="padding:2px;" | #768 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1007 g.e.
* '''Q:''' Name something(s) you and your hero have in common.
+
|-
* {{color|red||'''A:''' We both love beer! Oh, and we're both soul-crushingly Eeeeevil!}}
+
| '''Atheisthero''' - 70th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Cogito, ergo Deus non est”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/mastery?page=2#p_194 194th position] in the [[pantheon of mastery]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|AtheistGod}}. The heroine has no distinctive features to date; however, she promises to get some before her next appearance.
* '''Q:''' What advice would you give another, newer player?
+
|-
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Don't take life too seriously, you'll never make it out alive. Then you get resurrected and pick right up where you left off.}}
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! style="padding:2px;" | #769 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1008 g.e.
* '''Q:''' What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
+
|-
* {{color|red||'''A:''' I like to use kitten-bacon on my grilled cheese sandwiches, does that count?}}  
+
| '''ViSM''' - 79th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Requiescat in pace ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/templehood?page=1#p_51 51st position] in the [[pantheon of templehood]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|ViSM}}. He is deeply gratified by his place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.
* '''Q:''' Where would your hero go on their first date... assuming they ever get one?
+
|-
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Since his only date will be with Destiny, To The Arena!! Possibly Beerburgh after.}}
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! style="padding:2px;" | #770 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1009 g.e.
''What would you like to know about your [[Harvest Moon]] guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!''
+
|-
 +
| '''Qoi''' - 51st-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Seriously, why me!?!”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/survival?page=1#p_62 62nd position] in the [[pantheon of survival]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Oh Great Horror}}. She thinks that a Thunder Rat slow roasted in its own juices is one of the finest delicacies that Godvillewood has to offer.
 +
|-
 +
! style="padding:2px;" | #771 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1010 g.e.
 +
|-
 +
| '''SkylarB''' - 61st-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]guild, with the motto “Beware the pink bunny!☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=1#p_94 94th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the goddess {{god|Anwynn}}. Rumor has it that a local Cheeseburglar has learned to show the heroine proper respect for some reason.
 
|-
 
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! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Classifieds</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Classifieds</p>
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! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
|-
 
|-
| '''FREE:''' Kittens! The finest available. Professional chefs only, please. Call 1-EAT-MOR-KITY for info.  
+
| '''WANTED:''' Professional sock fluffer to prepare sock for public appearances. Contact HP4M
 +
|-
 +
| '''Ancient temples discovered near the outskirts of Tradeburg!''' Gold bricks almost free for a limited time! Call today: 1-866-NOTA-SCAM to reserve some of these bricks before they all disappear! ''Note: May be slightly corroded.''
 
|-
 
|-
| '''LOST:''' My dignity. Suspect my hero absconded with it. Call 1-I'LL-GET-EVEN
+
| '''Cranky heroes?''' Call 1-800-IM-MAD for babysitting services! Low, affordable rates and only the best care for your little...squishykins.
 
|-
 
|-
| '''FOR SALE:''' Chinese finger trap. Dirt cheap, if you can get me out of it. 1-DIGITS-HURT
+
| '''FOR SALE:''' 2/2.5 in Los Demonos. Planned to use as a retirement home, but can't stop questing.
 
|-
 
|-
| '''MISSED CONNECTIONS:''' Me, the dastardly fellow with slightly scorched hair standing on end from lightning bolts. You, the gorgeous heroine with the puppy-blood stained boots. Would love to meet you over a penguin smoothie sometime, my treat.
+
| '''WANTED:''' God or Goddess for abandoned hero. Neutral, but willing to change. Will build temple eventually. Look around milestone 37.
 
|-
 
|-
| '''REWARD:''' for information leading to the recovery of a Deus ex machina, buried by my solar bear somewhere between Lost Adminos and Tradeburgh. 1-BAD-BAD-BEAR
+
| '''Does your diary only have ten pages?''' Upgrade to the new iDiary S3! ''Note: not compatible with Godville.''
 
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| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Doctor Frank's Advice Corner</p>
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Doctor Frank's Advice Corner</p>
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| [[File:Drfrank.jpeg|thumbnail|left|An evil queen]]''Dear Dr. Frank,''
 
| [[File:Drfrank.jpeg|thumbnail|left|An evil queen]]''Dear Dr. Frank,''
  
''My SO says I play Godville too much. I say I don’t play enough! (Only Hunter 2nd Rank for chrissakes!) Any way to resolve this?''
+
''My temple’s solid gold toilet is always so cold! Is there anything I can do to warm it up? Forget tongue on a frozen flagpole. That’s funny. This is serious! Here, I pushed my hero to build the thing and I find myself avoiding spending time here since the far cheaper plumbing at the guild hall and Molotov’s Cocktail Bar is simply more user friendly. Help!''
 
 
''Signed, Something’s gotta give''
 
  
Dearest Unless your “SO” is your significant otter...
+
''Signed, I want to enjoy my abode but I need a warmer commode''
  
Put down the phone! Step away from the PC! Believe me, I ''completely'' understand the desire to know what your hero/ine is doing '''''right now,''''' but is that more important that your friends, family, and everything else? Okay, it may ''actually'' be more important than making nice with the in-laws or making goo-goo eyes at the neighbors newest kiddo, but if you want to stay in your relationship, Real Life comes first. I know that isn't what you want to hear, so here’s some work-arounds:
+
Dearest Chilly Willy,
  
*Just finished off a Boss Monster? You can’t dig another one up for an hour. This is the perfect time to offer your SO a back rub or a foot massage. They can hardly complain about your GV habit when you’re doting on them between digs.
+
I can’t believe nobody warned you about this. Then again, it’s not like there’s a temple-decor handbook, and I sincerely doubt your hero is smart enough to have thought of this on his own, so... You have some choices:
*Not big into digging, but can’t get enough of the arena? You can only fight once every four hours. Crush an opponent, then suggest date night! Four hours is more than enough time for dinner and a movie.
 
*Download the app on your phone if you can and haven’t already. You certainly don’t need to be staring at GV ''all the time'' if you have notifications set to alert you to the important events in your hero/ine’s life without it getting in the way of ''your'' life.
 
*Most of us have to work IRL. Unfortunately, we don’t get paid for playing GV (yet). Most of our bosses don’t think what’s happening in the Guild Council is as important as what’s happening at the job you ''actually'' get paid for. While you may disagree, a paycheck is practically essential to buying groceries (and charges), so put the phone away, alt+tab away from the GV screen on your computer and get your job done. Thankfully, once you have 50 gold bricks you have the [[Third Eye]] to tell you all the important things your hero did while you were slaving away to support your family (and your GV habit).
 
*The SO wants to take a vacation to some remote locale without an internet connection? Eeep! I know, I know. Deep breaths. You’ll be okay. Find a hero-sitter and go! GV will still be here when you return.
 
  
It ''is'' just a game! All things in moderation, my friend. You need to find a balance in your li- Whoa! Boss Monster! Gotta run!  
+
* You can try to make your hero reconstruct the toity with a built-in seat warmer. Good luck with that! In my experience, the post-temple hero is almost impossible to wrangle back into construction.
 +
* Ask the kitten shaving members of the HM kitchen staff for the fur and make yourself a seat koozie. If you’re worried about potential sanitary issues, don’t be! At the rate we go through kitten sammiches, there’s always plenty of fur a-flyin’! No need to re-use!  
 +
* Force your minion to warm it for you. It was his oversight, make him do the work! A standard hair dryer pointed at the seat for 10-15 minutes should do the trick.
 +
* If all else fails, find yourself a space heater. I understand double dragons aren’t that hard to come by these days. Warning: molten metals may do more damage than frigid ones.
  
 
Yours,
 
Yours,
Line 188: Line 185:
  
 
''No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for {{god|Doctor Frank-n-furter}} to any member of the staff. No invites? Send them via email to drfrank.hm@gmail.com.''
 
''No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for {{god|Doctor Frank-n-furter}} to any member of the staff. No invites? Send them via email to drfrank.hm@gmail.com.''
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| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">OtM Crossword</p>
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| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Special Announcements</p>
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Special Announcements</p>
 
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{| style="float: left; margin-center: 3em; border: 3px solid gray;"
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 125%; padding:0.2em 0.4em;" | New designs available at the HM store!
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! colspan="2" style="font-size: 125%; padding:0.2em 0.4em;" | The Harvest Moon Spa is always looking for suggestions for new treatments.
 
 
Check out the latest and greatest merchandise right here: [http://www.cafepress.com/harvestmoonmerchandise http://www.cafepress.com/harvestmoonmerchandise]. Want to show the world your love for your guild but don’t see anything that’s quite “you”? Let us know what you’d like to see and we’ll do our best to make it happen! New ideas are always welcome
 
|-
 
{| style="float: left; margin-center: 3em; border: 3px solid gray;"
 
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 125%; padding:0.2em 0.4em;" | Speaking of new ideas...
 
 
 
Do you have ideas for the Weekly Harvest? Send them in!
 
  
All ideas, questions, stories and suggestions will be considered. All accepted submissions will receive credit as one of our staff writers. Send them in to any member of the paper staff or the Blood Council today!
+
Do you have sensitive skin? Allergies? If you’re itching for exfoliation but afraid to even try the concrete body mask ''and'' you’re allergic to dragon scales, we want to help! Are the barmaids at the local tavern talking about a new “thing” you’re just dying to try? While we pride ourselves on being on the cutting edge of spa technologies, we understand that some of you may have special needs or requests. Let us know!
 
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{| style="float: left; margin-left: 1em; border: 1px solid gray;"
 
{| style="float: left; margin-left: 1em; border: 1px solid gray;"
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 66%;" | '''Special Thanks to our staff writers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Cecceticat, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Iduna, Jarlbank, Lady Darkness, Lady Shadows, Magic Merlin, Syrocko and The Other Gods. Staff photographers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Kure.''' [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=32848 Issue #1] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=33287 Issue #2] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34116 Issue #3] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34477 Issue #4] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34550 Issue #5] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34827 Issue #6] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35204 Issue #7] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35207 Issue #8] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35563 Issue #9] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35691 Issue #10] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35842 Issue #11] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35991 Issue #12] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=36100 Issue #13]
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! colspan="2" style="font-size: 66%;" | '''Special Thanks to our staff writers: Azzip, Bellatrixie the Strange, Cecceticat, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Hairplug4men, Iduna, Jarlbank, Lady Darkness, Lady Shadows, Magic Merlin, Mistress of Science, Syrocko and Zeerty. Staff photographers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Kure.''' [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=32848 Issue #1] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=33287 Issue #2] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34116 Issue #3] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34477 Issue #4] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34550 Issue #5] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34827 Issue #6] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35204 Issue #7] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35207 Issue #8] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35563 Issue #9] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35691 Issue #10] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35842 Issue #11] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=35991 Issue #12] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=36100 Issue #13] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=36241 Issue #14]
 
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Revision as of 13:02, 13 February 2013

Masthead.jpg

This week’s featured topic: Voice Commands

Other useful links:

  1. The HM Blog
  2. The HM Website
  3. Learn About the Tourney
  4. Our Town Influence
  5. Our Forum
  6. The HM Day Spa
  7. Digging Advice

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. #15

Voice Commands

He’s. Not. LISTENING!

You downloaded a ZPG. You made yourself a hero/ine. You watched them fumble and bumble about Godville. You noticed an “Input the voice of god” box to type in. You typed, “Hi, little hero/ine!” or “Dance for me, monkey!” … and nothing happened. Maybe you looked at the wiki and tested some things out. Maybe you saw a funny “random shout” from another god/dess and were inspired. Or maybe you became frustrated and just gave up trying to speak to your hero/ine. No need to throw your phone at the wall or jump on your computer keyboard in frustration! Voice Commands (VCs) are actually pretty simple and can reward you with Godpower (GP) if you string them together in a way others find even a little entertaining.

Different VCs work in different places. What works while questing, may not work while fighting a monster, and what works against a monster may not work in the arena. What works in the arena is exactly the same as what will work against a boss monster, however. Rather than list what words do and don’t work, (it’s a long list and will soon be updated in its entirety on our website), we’ll focus on how to make those words work better for you.

  • Most experienced players would agree that your hero/ine will listen better to complete sentences. Example: don’t just say “pray”, put it in a sentence, such as “I pray you listen to me this time.” Or, “I feel all warm and fuzzy when you pray to me.“
  • Not having any luck? Try asking your hero a question instead of making a statement. Example: “Why won’t you pray to me?” Or, “Maybe I’ll listen to your prayers when you listen to me. Deal?”
  • Try putting more than one “trigger” word in a sentence from the same category. Example: “Worship, pray and offer a sacrifice!” contains four words that can trigger your hero praying or sacrificing to gain you some GP.
  • Unless you really don’t care what your hero does, try not to mix your VC categories (don’t tell him/her to pray, heal, and attack something all at once - they’ll only listen to one and you have no control over which it will be).
  • You have a 100-character limit, so don’t waste your GP trying to send a witty novel that happens to have “pray” as its last word.
  • Be aware that not all of the trigger words are obvious. Saying, “What’s wrong with you? Why won’t you return to town?” may either make your hero pray or go to the nearest town. Why? The words “with you” are a pray command, while “return” and “town” are town VCs.
  • Words don’t have to be obvious to work. Hiding a command within another word can go a long way towards making your VCs creative enough to get you votes from other gods. Telling your heroine she uses too much “hairspray” or waxing philosophic about your love for “spray” cheese will work just as well as “pray.”

Next week: Your favorite VCs and/or “mystery” VCs (“why did my hero do X when I said Y - what’s the trigger?”). Send in your favorites!

At Home with Bella Stewart

Queen of evil
Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!

Can't zip your pants without lying down? Do your upper arms keep waving after your hand has stopped? Tired of running around Godville as a muffin top? Shed those winter pounds with Bella's Awesome Drink, Diet and Exercise Regimen (BADDER)! Remember, bigger doesn't always mean badder!

  • Drinking can really put on the pounds. Forget the beer and ale, leave the margaritas alone. Stick to pure, wholesome Dark Flame. It's proven to raise the body temperature by ten degrees, so you sweat those pounds away! That's right - drink LOTS of it!
  • Starve those kittens! Leaner meat in those kitten sandwiches means a leaner you! Try fresh veggie garnishes instead of mayo, and thin-slice that bread.
  • Use skim milk in your penguin smoothies. Now that Hairplug4men is back where he belongs, we have a ready supply. And skip the whale fat!
  • To pare down those upper arms, fill a large tankard to the brim with Dark Flame. Lift, drink, return SLOWLY to the bar, repeat. When empty, refill and do the same using your other arm. In effect, you're killing two puppies with one stone! (See above)
  • Now that you've finished all that Dark Flame, it's time for some aerobics! Nothing gets the old heart pumping like drunkenly chasing puppies around the castle! Crawl under those tables! Fall over the chairs! Careen around the corners! Stagger up the stairs! Feel the burn!
  • Once you catch one of the little buggers, it's time for your lower body workout. Right leg back, hold it...hold it...hold it...now swing it forward and kick that puppy in half! Chances are you missed since you're seeing double by now, so repeat with the opposite leg. Alternate until you make contact.
  • Finally, to target that midsection! By now you'll be collapsed on the floor. Have an exercise buddy stand over you holding another tankard of Dark Flame. Now attempt to sit up and Reach! Reach! Reach! Relax and repeat until (a) your buddy drinks it all himself or (b) you pass out.

Too much work, you say? You lack discipline? You just don't care enough? Don't worry - I think all evil gods and goddesses look pretty darned natty in black hooded capes.

Next week: Send in your questions, or I'll sing again! Mwaahahaha!

Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send GodBellatrixie the Strange  (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.

Over the Moon

We've got games, we've got prizes... we really need a theme song. Suggestions welcome!
How to play:

This week, we have a crossword puzzle!

  • Answer to the Final Question (below) must be submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answer only, please! Don’t give hints to non-WH readers.
  • The first god/dess to get the answer right will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
  • The winner of the OtM Championship (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!

Across

  • 1. Steals experience, damages equipment, or saps godpower
  • 2. Keeps hero from getting into skirmishes
  • 3. Most evil guild according to Unity
  • 4. Made of golden bricks

Down

  • 5. Can make bricks
  • 6. A town
  • 7. Place to receive charges, gold, or XP
  • 8. Sowing Sun AG_
  • 9. Coaching, 1st rank
  • 10. Pet type
  • 11. May have the Faithless ability

Final Question:

  • Unscramble the eight letters in the red boxes to form a palindrome on “How to be an HM Member.”

Congratulations to last week’s winner: GodGigglesMcGee ! Giggles will join Artsonian in this month’s OtM Championship. There are two spots left. Who will go up against these two sharp-witted competitors? It could be you! See you in the forum! Good luck!

Famous HM Heroes This Week

#765 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1004 g.e.
The Dart - 71st-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Its got fangs!”, stands at the 29th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the god GodTradwolley . His worst enemy - a Blade Runner. Favorite trophy - something that looks like a blue tooth. He is also a huge fan of Last Resort’s pubs.
#766 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1005 g.e.
Agus Maximus - 45th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, stands at the 179th position in the pantheon of destruction under the vigilant supervision of the god GodThe Amazing Spiderman . He is a huge fan of Los Adminos’s pubs.
#767 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1006 g.e.
Zostacular - 60th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Don't hate, Zostaculate!☾”, stands at the 134th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the god GodZoson . All she ever wanted was a little love and affection.
#768 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1007 g.e.
Atheisthero - 70th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Cogito, ergo Deus non est”, stands at the 194th position in the pantheon of mastery under the vigilant supervision of the god GodAtheistGod . The heroine has no distinctive features to date; however, she promises to get some before her next appearance.
#769 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1008 g.e.
ViSM - 79th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Requiescat in pace ☾”, stands at the 51st position in the pantheon of templehood under the vigilant supervision of the god GodViSM . He is deeply gratified by his place in the pantheon and is not planning to give it up any time soon.
#770 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1009 g.e.
Qoi - 51st-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Seriously, why me!?!”, stands at the 62nd position in the pantheon of survival under the vigilant supervision of the god GodOh Great Horror . She thinks that a Thunder Rat slow roasted in its own juices is one of the finest delicacies that Godvillewood has to offer.
#771 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1010 g.e.
SkylarB - 61st-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “Beware the pink bunny!☾”, stands at the 94th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the goddess GodAnwynn . Rumor has it that a local Cheeseburglar has learned to show the heroine proper respect for some reason.

Classifieds

Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
WANTED: Professional sock fluffer to prepare sock for public appearances. Contact HP4M
Ancient temples discovered near the outskirts of Tradeburg! Gold bricks almost free for a limited time! Call today: 1-866-NOTA-SCAM to reserve some of these bricks before they all disappear! Note: May be slightly corroded.
Cranky heroes? Call 1-800-IM-MAD for babysitting services! Low, affordable rates and only the best care for your little...squishykins.
FOR SALE: 2/2.5 in Los Demonos. Planned to use as a retirement home, but can't stop questing.
WANTED: God or Goddess for abandoned hero. Neutral, but willing to change. Will build temple eventually. Look around milestone 37.
Does your diary only have ten pages? Upgrade to the new iDiary S3! Note: not compatible with Godville.

Doctor Frank's Advice Corner

An evil queen
Dear Dr. Frank,

My temple’s solid gold toilet is always so cold! Is there anything I can do to warm it up? Forget tongue on a frozen flagpole. That’s funny. This is serious! Here, I pushed my hero to build the thing and I find myself avoiding spending time here since the far cheaper plumbing at the guild hall and Molotov’s Cocktail Bar is simply more user friendly. Help!

Signed, I want to enjoy my abode but I need a warmer commode

Dearest Chilly Willy,

I can’t believe nobody warned you about this. Then again, it’s not like there’s a temple-decor handbook, and I sincerely doubt your hero is smart enough to have thought of this on his own, so... You have some choices:

  • You can try to make your hero reconstruct the toity with a built-in seat warmer. Good luck with that! In my experience, the post-temple hero is almost impossible to wrangle back into construction.
  • Ask the kitten shaving members of the HM kitchen staff for the fur and make yourself a seat koozie. If you’re worried about potential sanitary issues, don’t be! At the rate we go through kitten sammiches, there’s always plenty of fur a-flyin’! No need to re-use!
  • Force your minion to warm it for you. It was his oversight, make him do the work! A standard hair dryer pointed at the seat for 10-15 minutes should do the trick.
  • If all else fails, find yourself a space heater. I understand double dragons aren’t that hard to come by these days. Warning: molten metals may do more damage than frigid ones.

Yours,

~Dr. Frank

No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for GodDoctor Frank-n-furter  to any member of the staff. No invites? Send them via email to drfrank.hm@gmail.com.

OtM Crossword

Puzzle021313.png

Special Announcements

The Harvest Moon Spa is always looking for suggestions for new treatments.

Do you have sensitive skin? Allergies? If you’re itching for exfoliation but afraid to even try the concrete body mask and you’re allergic to dragon scales, we want to help! Are the barmaids at the local tavern talking about a new “thing” you’re just dying to try? While we pride ourselves on being on the cutting edge of spa technologies, we understand that some of you may have special needs or requests. Let us know!


Special Thanks to our staff writers: Azzip, Bellatrixie the Strange, Cecceticat, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Hairplug4men, Iduna, Jarlbank, Lady Darkness, Lady Shadows, Magic Merlin, Mistress of Science, Syrocko and Zeerty. Staff photographers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Kure. Issue #1 Issue #2 Issue #3 Issue #4 Issue #5 Issue #6 Issue #7 Issue #8 Issue #9 Issue #10 Issue #11 Issue #12 Issue #13 Issue #14