Difference between revisions of "Talk:Harvest Moon"

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m (Undo revision 34476 by Doctor Frank-n-furter (talk))
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|'''''That's Not a Turkey in Your Closet''''' #4
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|'''''Don't Make Us Chase You''''' #5
 
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| class="MainPageBG" style="width:50%; border:1px solid #cef2e0; background:#E3DAC9; vertical-align:top; color:#000;" |
 
| class="MainPageBG" style="width:50%; border:1px solid #cef2e0; background:#E3DAC9; vertical-align:top; color:#000;" |
 
{| id="mp-left" style="vertical-align:left; background:#E3DAC9;"
 
{| id="mp-left" style="vertical-align:left; background:#E3DAC9;"
! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">What is the point of [[Achievements]]?</p>
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Arena or Skirmish: Which Do You Choose?</p>
 
|-
 
|-
| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk">[[File:PicsArt 1353395053273.jpg|right|300px]]
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| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk">[[File:The_Arena.jpg|right|thumb|Fallon Sky and Galldemort in the Arena]]A lot of people are talking about this subject, the biggest question is “Why do people arena but don’t fight back?” The answer to this (for some) is simple. Let’s look at the advantages and disadvantages of Arena and Skirmish.
Achievements... Why should I care? Well let me tell you something Mr. Questiony-questioner! Some people work really hard to gain these achievements and they believe they mean something pretty important!
+
 
Sure everybody will agree the builder achievement comes in handy, I mean the temple rewards alone help will pave the way for taming a pet to level 30. But what about the lesser known, underrated achievements... A former Harvest Moon Elite, turned traitorous tergiversator, {{God|Hairplug4men|temple=11/28/2011 00:07|breeder=06/13/2012 14:28|extended = yes please}} explains "Achievements serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever, except in showing how much more awesome you are than everyone else. Did I tell you I had 8 first ranks?" The editors here cut him off as he rambled on. In general, the achievements most important to your hero/ine's well being are the Builder, Animalist, and Coaching Achievements. These three are recommended as working towards them will build a strong friend base for you, and a strong life for your hero. The rest will come with time. Lastly, under no circumstances do we here at the Weekly Harvest recommend any Harvest Moon member go for the silly, stupid, worthless Renegade and Careerist achievements, thank you.
+
'''Arena:'''
 +
 
 +
Advantages:
 +
* A chance for a Golden Brick just for entering the Arena.
 +
* No loss of equipment, artifacts or gold bricks from your OWN temple if you lose.
 +
* You may meet another God/Goddess who entered to avoid skirmish.
 +
* If you win, you get 100% godpower plus 1 extra charge to your accumulator.
 +
* You only lose gold
 +
 
 +
Disadvantages:
 +
* If you want a good Gladiator pantheon ranking you will need to win.
 +
* You may meet a Gladiator who has a very high record and is a great fighter.
 +
 
 +
'''Skirmish:'''
 +
 
 +
Advantages:
 +
* If you win, you get all of the other players artifacts and gold.
 +
* You might acquire higher grade equipment from the other player.
 +
* You might win a gold brick from the other player’s temple count (not temple owners).
 +
* Opponent may be sleeping so you can get an easy win.
 +
 
 +
Disadvantages:
 +
* You may be sleeping when it happens.
 +
* You can lose all of your artifacts, gold and even risk equipment and a gold brick from your temple (not temple owners)
 +
* No godpower given for winning.
 +
* No golden brick given for winning.  
 +
 
 +
Taking these points into consideration, matching in the arena every 3rd day carries far lower risk and higher reward. Try to send when your inventory is half full (or less) and your hero has a low gold count, or (ideally) after a death/resurrection.
 
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|-
 
|-
| [[File:Bella Stewart.jpg|thumbnail|Queen of evil]] '''New feature: Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, or very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!'''
+
| [[File:Bella Stewart.jpg|thumbnail|Queen of evil]] '''Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!'''
  
The holiday season is upon us, and if you're like me (lazy...erm, I mean busy), you just don't have the time or inclination to spruce up your home before your guests arrive. Don't panic! These handy tips will have your place looking fantastic with hardly any effort at all!
+
It's the holiday season again, and that means decorating the tree! I, for one, get so discouraged trying to find decorations - it seems the stores are filled with sparkly, pretty, cheerful and cute ornaments that certainly don't fit into my evil lifestyle. A simple solution is to make your own! This year, my tree will be hung with:
 
   
 
   
* Mix a little dry mustard with unbleached flour for a perfect dust substitute. Turn that ceiling fan on and toss handfuls in the air to achieve maximum coverage.
+
* Black widow spiders! Their red hourglass markings are very festive, they just scream "pure evil!," and they're a wonderful way to get rid of unwanted guests.
* No living room sacrifices lately? No problem! Ketchup mixed with a little flour and water will make a realistic blood-like substance, even as it dries. Be sure to drop cupfuls from at least three feet for the best splatter effect.
+
* Raw ground (kitten, puppy, dust bunny) meatballs! They start out a holiday red and by December 25 will have turned a lovely shade of Christmas green. Plus, the aroma will mask the nasty pine tree odor, and they'll attract flies for the black widow spiders.
* Unexpected guests and you're out of kittens for sammiches? Fool them all by substituting mashed canned chicken and Spam. Topped with mustard and a heavy shake of cayenne pepper, and no one will know WHAT they're eating!
+
* Feathered boa constrictors! Save those feathered boas whenever your hero conjures up a statue of your beloved leader in town - they make stunning tree garlands. Or drape over doorways to add that element of surprise for your guests.
 
   
 
   
Next week: make your own holiday decorations for under 10 gold coins! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
+
Happy decorating! Next week: homemade gifts for your goody-goody friends and allies!
  
 
''Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send Bellatrixie the Strange (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.''
 
''Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send Bellatrixie the Strange (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.''
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| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Get To Know a Deity</p>
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Get To Know a Deity</p>
 
|-
 
|-
| [[File:Teo.JPG|225px|right]]Here we sit down weekly with a [[Harvest Moon]] warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week's guest is a god of few words but much heart (in jars in his basement): {{God|ThirdEye0pen|temple=0|breeder=0}}
+
| [[File:Makaze.jpg|thumb|right|"My name is Inigo Montoya..."]]Here we sit down weekly with a [[Harvest Moon]] warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week's guest is a god of few words but much heart (in jars in his basement): {{God|Makaze|temple=0|breeder=0}}
 +
* '''Q:''' Do you have any hidden talents?
 +
* {{color|red||'''A:''' My hidden talent is good at remaining hidden, apparently.}}
 
* '''Q:''' What song do you love to dance to?
 
* '''Q:''' What song do you love to dance to?
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Ice Ice Baby (He broke into a fit of maniacal laughter.)}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Spandau Ballet's True, but only the chorus, on repeat... for eternity.}}
* '''Q:''' Do you have any hidden talents?
+
* '''Q:''' What GV pet would you like to have?
* {{color|red||'''A:''' I can memorize the lyrics to songs really easily. (He began singing "Ice Ice Baby".)}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Belteshazzar (or is that just a mascot?)}}
 
* '''Q:''' What color underwear are you wearing?
 
* '''Q:''' What color underwear are you wearing?
* {{color|red||'''A:''' No color, commando. (The interviewer did not ask for proof.)}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Well, at one point I believe they were white...}}
 
* '''Q:''' Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?  
 
* '''Q:''' Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?  
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Very much so, yes. (He choked up a bit and couldn't continue on the subject.)}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' It's like banging your head against the wall over and over, it feels good when you finally stop doing it.}}
* '''Q:''' How do you like to spend your free time?
 
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Vacationing in Hawaii or Vegas. (The next hour was spent watching a stunning PowerPoint presentation of TE0 skydiving in exotic locales.)}}
 
 
''If you have a burning question for [[Harvest Moon]]'s Deities, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!''
 
''If you have a burning question for [[Harvest Moon]]'s Deities, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!''
|-
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Special Announcements</p>
 
|-
 
{| style="float: center; margin-center: 3em; border: 3px solid gray;"
 
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 125%;" | All members are urged to come to the Harvest Moon Day Spa! The gnomes are getting bored and restless, and, frankly, some of you are starting to smell. ''This week only:'' get a free hornicure with every alignment adjustment!
 
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
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! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Famous HM Heroes This Week</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Famous HM Heroes This Week</p>
 
|-
 
|-
! style="padding:2px;" | #684 GODVILLE TIMES Day 921 g.e.
+
! style="padding:2px;" | #691 GODVILLE TIMES Day 929 g.e.
|-
 
| '''Awkwardly Bouncing -''' 50th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “陰 Bounce the Bolt Baby ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/gladiatorship?page=1#p_13 13th position] in the [[pantheon of gladiatorship]] under the vigilant supervision of the {{god|Imprecise Master}}. He always wanted to attend an Alcoholics Anonymous for Heroes meeting, but never found the time.
 
 
|-
 
|-
! style="padding:2px;" | #687 GODVILLE TIMES Day 924 g.e.
+
| '''The dark -''' 60th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “For the glory of BloodGod”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=1#p_89 89th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the {{god|BloodGod}}. The hero has no distinctive features to date; however, he promises to get some before his next appearance.
 
|-
 
|-
| '''Samuel Vimes -''' 74th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, “Sentinel of the Moon ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/savings?page=1#p_95 44th position] in the [[pantheon of savings]] under the vigilant supervision of the {{god|Belteshazzar}}. He is a huge fan of Monsterdam’s pubs.
 
|-
 
 
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Member of the Week</p>
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Member of the Week</p>
 
|-
 
|-
| [[File:Kure.JPG|right]] Get to know a newer member of [[Harvest Moon]]! This week's guest is: {{God|Kure}}
+
| [[File:Appoloniaa.jpg|thumb|right|Goddess Appoloniaa. Actual picture - not an artist's rendition]]Get to know a newer member of [[Harvest Moon]]! This week's guest is: {{God|Appoloniaa}}
 
* '''Q:''' How did you choose HM?
 
* '''Q:''' How did you choose HM?
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Well, as much as I'd hate to admit it, I really look up to my older Brother, Nen. He had a big part in my guild selection. We have more in common than we'd both like to admit. :p So I looked into it. Loved it. Joined. Never looked back. ;)}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' My brother also plays Godville and the moment my level was high enough to join a guild, I asked him what guild I should be in. He told me that [[Harvest Moon]] was the biggest and best one on the "dark side."}}
* '''Q:''' Where does your hero hide his coin purse?
+
* '''Q:''' Where does your hero hide her coin purse?
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Coin purse? What coin purse!? Vey is just as poor as I am. :p}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' I have absolutely no idea! I bet somewhere the sun doesn't shine.}}
* '''Q:''' Name something(s) you and your hero have in common.
+
* '''Q:''' Name some things that you and your heroine have in common
* {{color|red||'''A:''' See above answer. :))}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' We're both female, Pleuntjes' name was derived from my own, we both like a beer once in awhile and we both joined the dark side, haha!}}
* '''Q:''' What advice would you give a young player?  
+
* '''Q:''' What advice would you give a young player?
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Whachutalkinabout!? I am a young player! ;) No, in all seriousness, believe in your guild mates. They're your family. Listen to what they've got to say. You might learn something.}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' I'm a young player myself and usually I ask for advice. So that's the only advice I can give: ask a fellow guild member if you're having trouble or if you want some extra information.}}
* '''Q:''' What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?  
+
* '''Q:''' What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
* {{color|red||'''A:''' I like mine plain... just make it a double. ;)}}
+
* {{color|red||'''A:''' Sticks and stones... and marshmallows.}}  
 
''What would you like to know about your [[Harvest Moon]] guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!''
 
''What would you like to know about your [[Harvest Moon]] guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!''
 
|-
 
|-
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! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
|-  
 
|-  
| '''Lost:''' Galldemort's Icarus wings. If found, please keep them.  
+
| '''For sale:''' New hero upgrades, now with 25% more IQ! Call: 1-800-GOT-SMRT
 +
|-
 +
| '''Found:''' 3000 coins lying around the arena if they’re yours, hurry! That hero over there just picked them up and left! Yeah... that guy...  
 
|-
 
|-
| '''Employment opportunity:''' Assemble and sell fake gold bricks to noobs in your spare time. Enormous earning potential. no experience necessary. Call 1-800-LEVEL10
+
| '''Hero not listening''' no matter how much you Punish? We can help! Send him to us for a fun filled day at hero boot camp! We promise you your control back or maybe half your money back! Guaranteed! Call: 555-TRAIN-EM
 
|-
 
|-
| '''Wanted:''' Looking for a person to write ads about looking for a person to write ads about. Call 123-456-SPAM
+
| '''Wanted:''' Arena buddy to help with pet revival. Must be willing to lose (that means no touch-ee the buttons!). Call: 555-REV-IAGO … please?
 
|-
 
|-
| '''Open audition:''' Looking for a Latin American dancer willing to dance the forbidden Evil Moon cha-cha with '''Hammrsgl''' for the grand finale of Harvest Moon Idol (HM is not responsible for injuries incurred during production). Auditions will be held in the guild hall starting at noon PST, day 929 g.e.
+
| '''Missing:''' Hero last seen heading out of a tavern immediately following a totally random lightning strike that may have closely resembled the sound of an angry god’s wrath. If seen, tell him I'll deal with him later! I mean, to come on back! All good, little buddy!
 
|-
 
|-
| '''Free:''' Hundreds of happy, smiling bunnies. Will follow you wherever you go. Cannot be destroyed. Please pick up as soon as possible! Call 1-866-HELP-ME
+
| '''Wanted:''' Standard, black body bag shipped to Niagara falls. Uhhh... better make that two. Call: 723-N-HIDING.
 
|-
 
|-
| '''Wanted:''' Assistant for brewing potions. Preferably evil. Must have good references and knowledge of different species of rats and beetles. Apply in person inside the HM kitchen.
+
| '''For Sale:''' All new "Strength in a Bottle" provides your hero a single, powerful strike. '''''Warning:''''' ''Risk of backfire.'' '''''Disclaimer​:''''' ''We are not responsible for any injuries to the hero or surrounding people or property. Use at your own risk.''
 
|-
 
|-
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Doctor Frank's Advice Corner</p>
 
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Doctor Frank's Advice Corner</p>
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| [[File:Drfrank.jpeg|thumbnail|left|An evil queen]]''Dear Dr. Frank''
 
| [[File:Drfrank.jpeg|thumbnail|left|An evil queen]]''Dear Dr. Frank''
  
''My hero is torturing me! As soon as the pay check is given, it’s off to the tavern to buy that "thing" that shall not be named (for fear that it will be overheard and thus purchased). Can you help with this nightmare?''  
+
''I don’t know how many times my hero tried to leave his/her guild. He’s tried so many times I’ve lost count, you’d think he’d understand not to by this point right? Nope. The next morning he’s up and at it again. What do I do?''
  
''Signed, I really want a temple''
+
''Signed, Happy Where I Am.''
  
Dearest This-is-why-we-don't-have-nice-things,
 
  
You cannot keep a hero from drinking alcohol any more than you can keep a runner in your pantyhose from going all the way down your leg should you get one while running in heels. It's the nature of the beast. Let the hero give in to his Id, unleash his desires at the pub, wake up bleary-eyed and in need of a shoulder to lean on! How else do you think anyone will ever convince him to complete some of these nutty quests? And just how will he get bricks for your temple without quests, hmm? Good luck!
+
Dearest The word “Happy” makes me want to slap you,
 +
 
 +
A) You know that little remote control you were magically endowed with when you acquired your hero? You see that button there? No, not that one... the other one. Yeah! The “Punish” button! Use it! Make the ungrateful dweeb think twice about making decisions without consulting you!
 +
 
 +
B) Join [[Harvest Moon]]! Yes, he might try to quest out a time or five, but it’s not because he doesn’t love it there, he’s just making sure you’re paying attention. I mean, if he ''really'' wanted to leave, would he give you two days to change his mind? Hmm? Tell him to cancel or abandon his silly little quest, After a mere 135 days, he’ll never try to leave again! He just needs reassurance! And punishment. Really. He likes it. He told me.
  
 
Yours,
 
Yours,
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''No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for Doctor Frank-n-furter to any member of the staff or send them via email to drfrank.hm@gmail.com.''
 
''No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for Doctor Frank-n-furter to any member of the staff or send them via email to drfrank.hm@gmail.com.''
 +
|-
 +
| <p style="margin:3px; background:#FF4500; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Special Announcements</p>
 +
|-
 +
{| style="float: center; margin-center: 3em; border: 3px solid gray;"
 +
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 125%;" | Do you have an item for sale? A service to provide? A lost kitty sammich? Send your classified ads to any staff member of the Weekly Harvest. We might not even charge you to print it!
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
 
 
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{| style="float: left; margin-left: 1em; border: 1px solid gray;"
 
{| style="float: left; margin-left: 1em; border: 1px solid gray;"
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 66%;" | '''Special Thanks to our staff writers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Cecceticat, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Jarlbank, Lady Darkness, Lady Shadows, Magic Merlin, Syrocko and The Other Gods. Staff photographer: Bellatrixie the Strange.''' [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=32848 Issue #1] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=33287 Issue #2] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34116 Issue #3]
+
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 66%;" | '''Special Thanks to our staff writers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Cecceticat, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Jarlbank, Lady Darkness, Lady Shadows, Magic Merlin, Syrocko and The Other Gods. Staff photographer: Bellatrixie the Strange.''' [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=32848 Issue #1] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=33287 Issue #2] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34116 Issue #3] [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/index.php?title=Talk:Harvest_Moon&oldid=34477 Issue #4]
 
|}
 
|}

Revision as of 10:56, 28 November 2012

Masthead.jpg

This week’s featured topic: Achievements

Other useful links:

  1. The HM Blog
  2. The HM Website
  3. Learn About the Tourney
  4. Our Town Influence
  5. Our Forum
  6. The HM Day Spa
  7. Digging Advice

Don't Make Us Chase You #5

Arena or Skirmish: Which Do You Choose?

Fallon Sky and Galldemort in the Arena
A lot of people are talking about this subject, the biggest question is “Why do people arena but don’t fight back?” The answer to this (for some) is simple. Let’s look at the advantages and disadvantages of Arena and Skirmish.

Arena:

Advantages:

  • A chance for a Golden Brick just for entering the Arena.
  • No loss of equipment, artifacts or gold bricks from your OWN temple if you lose.
  • You may meet another God/Goddess who entered to avoid skirmish.
  • If you win, you get 100% godpower plus 1 extra charge to your accumulator.
  • You only lose gold

Disadvantages:

  • If you want a good Gladiator pantheon ranking you will need to win.
  • You may meet a Gladiator who has a very high record and is a great fighter.

Skirmish:

Advantages:

  • If you win, you get all of the other players artifacts and gold.
  • You might acquire higher grade equipment from the other player.
  • You might win a gold brick from the other player’s temple count (not temple owners).
  • Opponent may be sleeping so you can get an easy win.

Disadvantages:

  • You may be sleeping when it happens.
  • You can lose all of your artifacts, gold and even risk equipment and a gold brick from your temple (not temple owners)
  • No godpower given for winning.
  • No golden brick given for winning.

Taking these points into consideration, matching in the arena every 3rd day carries far lower risk and higher reward. Try to send when your inventory is half full (or less) and your hero has a low gold count, or (ideally) after a death/resurrection.

At Home with Bella Stewart

Queen of evil
Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!

It's the holiday season again, and that means decorating the tree! I, for one, get so discouraged trying to find decorations - it seems the stores are filled with sparkly, pretty, cheerful and cute ornaments that certainly don't fit into my evil lifestyle. A simple solution is to make your own! This year, my tree will be hung with:

  • Black widow spiders! Their red hourglass markings are very festive, they just scream "pure evil!," and they're a wonderful way to get rid of unwanted guests.
  • Raw ground (kitten, puppy, dust bunny) meatballs! They start out a holiday red and by December 25 will have turned a lovely shade of Christmas green. Plus, the aroma will mask the nasty pine tree odor, and they'll attract flies for the black widow spiders.
  • Feathered boa constrictors! Save those feathered boas whenever your hero conjures up a statue of your beloved leader in town - they make stunning tree garlands. Or drape over doorways to add that element of surprise for your guests.

Happy decorating! Next week: homemade gifts for your goody-goody friends and allies!

Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send Bellatrixie the Strange (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.

Get To Know a Deity

"My name is Inigo Montoya..."
Here we sit down weekly with a Harvest Moon warrior and find out what makes them tick. This week's guest is a god of few words but much heart (in jars in his basement): GodMakaze 
  • Q: Do you have any hidden talents?
  • A: My hidden talent is good at remaining hidden, apparently.
  • Q: What song do you love to dance to?
  • A: Spandau Ballet's True, but only the chorus, on repeat... for eternity.
  • Q: What GV pet would you like to have?
  • A: Belteshazzar (or is that just a mascot?)
  • Q: What color underwear are you wearing?
  • A: Well, at one point I believe they were white...
  • Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
  • A: It's like banging your head against the wall over and over, it feels good when you finally stop doing it.

If you have a burning question for Harvest Moon's Deities, please submit them to the staff. Thank you!

Famous HM Heroes This Week

#691 GODVILLE TIMES Day 929 g.e.
The dark - 60th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “For the glory of BloodGod”, stands at the 89th position in the pantheon of savings under the vigilant supervision of the GodBloodGod . The hero has no distinctive features to date; however, he promises to get some before his next appearance.

Member of the Week

Goddess Appoloniaa. Actual picture - not an artist's rendition
Get to know a newer member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: GodAppoloniaa 
  • Q: How did you choose HM?
  • A: My brother also plays Godville and the moment my level was high enough to join a guild, I asked him what guild I should be in. He told me that Harvest Moon was the biggest and best one on the "dark side."
  • Q: Where does your hero hide her coin purse?
  • A: I have absolutely no idea! I bet somewhere the sun doesn't shine.
  • Q: Name some things that you and your heroine have in common
  • A: We're both female, Pleuntjes' name was derived from my own, we both like a beer once in awhile and we both joined the dark side, haha!
  • Q: What advice would you give a young player?
  • A: I'm a young player myself and usually I ask for advice. So that's the only advice I can give: ask a fellow guild member if you're having trouble or if you want some extra information.
  • Q: What toppings do you like on your kitten sammiches?
  • A: Sticks and stones... and marshmallows.

What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!

Classifieds

Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
For sale: New hero upgrades, now with 25% more IQ! Call: 1-800-GOT-SMRT
Found: 3000 coins lying around the arena if they’re yours, hurry! That hero over there just picked them up and left! Yeah... that guy...
Hero not listening no matter how much you Punish? We can help! Send him to us for a fun filled day at hero boot camp! We promise you your control back or maybe half your money back! Guaranteed! Call: 555-TRAIN-EM
Wanted: Arena buddy to help with pet revival. Must be willing to lose (that means no touch-ee the buttons!). Call: 555-REV-IAGO … please?
Missing: Hero last seen heading out of a tavern immediately following a totally random lightning strike that may have closely resembled the sound of an angry god’s wrath. If seen, tell him I'll deal with him later! I mean, to come on back! All good, little buddy!
Wanted: Standard, black body bag shipped to Niagara falls. Uhhh... better make that two. Call: 723-N-HIDING.
For Sale: All new "Strength in a Bottle" provides your hero a single, powerful strike. Warning: Risk of backfire. Disclaimer​: We are not responsible for any injuries to the hero or surrounding people or property. Use at your own risk.

Doctor Frank's Advice Corner

An evil queen
Dear Dr. Frank

I don’t know how many times my hero tried to leave his/her guild. He’s tried so many times I’ve lost count, you’d think he’d understand not to by this point right? Nope. The next morning he’s up and at it again. What do I do?

Signed, Happy Where I Am.


Dearest The word “Happy” makes me want to slap you,

A) You know that little remote control you were magically endowed with when you acquired your hero? You see that button there? No, not that one... the other one. Yeah! The “Punish” button! Use it! Make the ungrateful dweeb think twice about making decisions without consulting you!

B) Join Harvest Moon! Yes, he might try to quest out a time or five, but it’s not because he doesn’t love it there, he’s just making sure you’re paying attention. I mean, if he really wanted to leave, would he give you two days to change his mind? Hmm? Tell him to cancel or abandon his silly little quest, After a mere 135 days, he’ll never try to leave again! He just needs reassurance! And punishment. Really. He likes it. He told me.

Yours,

Dr. Frank

No question is too great or too small! Submit your questions for Doctor Frank-n-furter to any member of the staff or send them via email to drfrank.hm@gmail.com.

Special Announcements

Do you have an item for sale? A service to provide? A lost kitty sammich? Send your classified ads to any staff member of the Weekly Harvest. We might not even charge you to print it!

Special Thanks to our staff writers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Cecceticat, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Jarlbank, Lady Darkness, Lady Shadows, Magic Merlin, Syrocko and The Other Gods. Staff photographer: Bellatrixie the Strange. Issue #1 Issue #2 Issue #3 Issue #4