Difference between revisions of "Talk:Harvest Moon"

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'''This week’s featured topic:''' ''What is Godville?''
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'''This week’s featured topic:''' ''Boss Monster Update''
  
 
'''Other useful links:'''
 
'''Other useful links:'''
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| style="background:#FBEACA" |'''''We know, right?''''' • #38
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| style="background:#FBEACA" |'''''Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?''''' • #39
 
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{| id="mp-left" style="vertical-align:left; background:#FBEACA;"
! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Godville Explained'''</p>
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Boss Monster Update'''</p>
 
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| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk"> [[File:recruiting.jpg|right|thumb|One of us! One of us!]] '''Recruiting new Deities to Godville''' <br> <sub>By: {{god|Hairplug4men}}</sub>
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| <div id="mp-tfa" style="padding:2px 5px"> <div id="mp-dyk"> [[File:BossUpdate.JPG|right|thumb|Four new abilities!]] '''The four newest boss abilities explained''' <br> <sub>By: {{god|Doctor Frank-n-furter}}</sub>
  
How many times have you been asked, "What is this game that you're playing about?" and have no rational explanation to give the questioner? Today's article is going to speak to that. I, personally, am married to someone who often calls it "that stupid game that you play." I have explained it to many people, including her, but it is definitely the hardest game I've ever had to explain. You'd think after this many years of playing it, I would have a good answer.  
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In case you haven’t heard, our not-so-friendly boss neighbors have learned new abilities to enhance and thwart your “get rich quick” digging scheme.
  
The login page describes it as this:  
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All bosses, whether found at the end of a mini-quest, called with an artifact, or dug up while questing, may have 0-3 abilities. A quick recap of the previous ones:
  
* Godville is a massively-multiplayer zero-player game (ZPG). The gist of Godville is that it is a parody on everything from "typical" MMO games with their tedious level ups to internet memes and ordinary day to day things appealing to a wide audience.
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* Auriferous - Creates gold; converts random stones, artifacts, and the heroes blood into gold. Most allies would prefer to keep this one alive for maximum gold reward.
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* Deafening - Cancels out ALL voice commands.
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* Faithless - Immune to Punishes. Bonus: also immune to Encourage backfires.
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* Hulking - Monster has more health points than usual.
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* Leeching - Will steal health points from Encourages.
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* Nimble - Monster can hit twice in one turn as well as attack out of turn.
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* Pickpocket - Steals items from the heroes to add to its inventory; eats items to heal.
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* Squandering - Eats gold and items. Kill quickly for maximum reward.
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* Summoning - Calls in mini version of itself to aid it in battle. Mini has no abilities.
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* Sweeping – Can hit all heroes at once.
  
But I like to think of it as so much more. I often say that this game can be anything you want it to be. You can be as active or as inactive as you like. :-) It is definitely slow to get into at first, especially when you don't know the ropes, but the quicker you can get online with the other people and make friends and join in activities... I don't see how anybody can not be hooked!
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The four new ones are a tad more complex than those that preceded them:
  
I have noticed that it does attract a certain type of character slightly more than other types. These are the people who play the longest and tend to have the most creative ideas for the game. They are from all corners of the world but have an open mind and a good sense of humor. They enjoy a good book, and tend to be slightly anti-social IRL. But don't take my word for it! Just like every other thing I do in this game, I always make sure to have some other people do a majority of the work. :-) It is my signature, so here's what a few other people describe this game as when talking to friends.
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* Enlightened - This bad boy has pros and cons. '''The negative:''' can reflect Punish damage back onto the hero. Much like Leeching shares health from an Encourage, this one shares the pain of the Punish with the hero. '''The positive:''' All survivors will get their godpower refilled to 100% at end of fight.
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* Explosive - damages all heroes when defeated. To avoid being taken out at the end, keep your health above 30%.
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* Skilled - Much like the auriferous creates gold throughout the fight, this one creates artifacts. They can converts items in their own inventory, create them from nothing, or create them using the hero’s blood. Note: if the new artifact is created from an existing item, the monster will throw away the unused parts, damaging all heroes; if the item is created from nothing, the monster heals itself a bit, and if it’s created by biting a hero, that particular hero is damaged. Unlike the Auriferous, most allies aren’t as excited at the prospect of this one staying alive for 100+ steps.
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* Sneaky - Flees the battle if not killed in time. Good news: he’s not as sneaky as you may think! He gives a warning (looks for an exit) a few steps before fleeing allowing the surviving heroes to band together to take him down. If he escapes, there is now reward (no gold, no artifacts) for any of the heroes.
  
* You create a god or goddess who has a hero or heroine that goes on quests. You can be as involved as you want... from not at all to semi-full control. You can make friends who you can chat with in private messages or on the forums, have fights in an arena, and even make your hero or heroine 'dig' for a 'boss monster' that you fight with other players. Your main objectives are to build a temple, that takes 1000 'gold bricks' to make, and to raise a 'pet' to level 30. Other than that, you just read the witty diary entries that other players have submitted to the game. <br> <sub>~ {{god|Raindropstop}} </sub>
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There you have them, folks! Four new boss abilities in a nutshell. Happy hunting!
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">At Home with Bella Stewart</p>
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| [[File:HPStewart.JPG|thumbnail|Queen of evil]] '''Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange!''' Errr... Hairplug4men, standing in for Bellatrixie The Strange!
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Bellatrixie has been given the night off due to “Sacrificial Ceremonies” so I have stepped into her shoes to offer my decorating and craft ideas. Yes, I like crafts. You may not know this, but my entire bed is built from popsicle sticks. I am also responsible for all of the still-standing out houses behind the HM headquarters... So, let’s begin.
  
* Imagine being a god with a hero. Now imagine your hero doesn't listen to you very well. And you can very well punish him to cinders. Thats what Godville is about. Power with limitation. <br> <sub>~ {{god|Rodrigo Augustus}} </sub>
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''Dear Bella, <br>I hate my pet Bellatrixie! The stupid Dust Bunny is always behaving, looking cute or just in general being a goody goody! My evil friends have been making fun of me since I got it, and now I hate to even go to the tavern for fear of getting teased! Please help me make this pet more evil or I may never drink again... <br>Signed: Ivanted A. Centaur''
  
* It is a diamond in the rough. It may not look appealing at first but, once you start playing, there is a wonderful strategy to the game. Never judge a book by it's cover! :-) <br> <sub>~ {{god|Rosalind Vivian}} </sub>
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Well, first of all, is it a crime to open someone else’s mail? Because, if so, for the record, I didn't open the above letter, my pet did. See, Ivanted, it's just that easy to make anything around evil: just lie. I mean, I'm not lying, but you could! Unfortunately, you can only make others appear evil since making someone or thing actually evil takes years of focus and random abuse. I don't want to make you wait that long to drink again so what I think you should do is...
  
* It's a text-based, Zero Player Game - and it's way cooler than that sounds. You can do as much or as little as you want to, be as social (or not) as you want to... But you should want to because there’s a really cool community that plays the game and they aren’t creepy at all... Really! … No, I don’t always explain games to random people at Starbucks. … No, I don’t find this creepy. … Yes, I have “real” friends. … Come on! Just try it! <br> <sub>~ {{god|Dogess}} </sub>
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# Dye your bunny pitch black. This way he'll be easier to hide in the dark bars.
 +
# Magic marker his eyes neon red. Now, the only part that can be seen clearly by others are two floating red eyes.
 +
# Get him a spiked collar. If he's hiding well enough no one should be able to see it, but I had an ex once who always wore a spiked collar and she was the most evil witch ever, so it can’t hurt.
 +
# Novelty horns. Super glue them to it's body then duct tape for good measure.
  
* Best game I never play. <br> <sub>~ {{god|Zeerty}} </sub>
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These are just a few suggestions. Ultimately, I recommend you just get out your Dust Devil and vacuum that pest up. I think you'd look less wimpy going to the tavern with a vacuum than a Dust Bunny.
  
* Have you ever wanted to not play a game? Specifically, not play an RPG? Worry about what weapon to use, spell to cast, skill to improve, finding a date for your character, or which beer goes with your meal? Then have I got a game for you to not play. It's text-based (so you probably should brush up on your reading skills, you illiterate so-and-so), and you can make friends with people under false pretenses, so they'll never know you're not actually worth befriending (you unbearable soul). Remember your god complex, when you tried to tell everyone around you what to do but usually felt ignored? There's a hero out there in the game for you (you totalitarian jerk).  Ever wanted to arbitrarily encourage someone for no good reason and no amount of worthiness on their part (you naive fool) or punish someone without worrying about that annoying thing the rest of us call a conscience (you sadistic bozo)? Then Godville is a non-game for y...is not a game for...is a game for you not to play. Yeah, definitely that last one. Maybe. <br><br>It's a game full of dweebs and nerds, who have no qualm over that fact. So you can feel at home in this world (you four-eyed goober). All of that and more, including this last bit: <br><br> You know how you've always wanted to pretend you were a "creative" writer and subject people to your ramblings (you mindless dribble producing git)? Allow me to point you toward the forums. And I know you've always thought you were full of good ideas, that would make life a better, more hilarious place. Well, fret no longer over your unvoiced thoughts (you unfunny, one dimensional, over sensitive brat). Check out the ideabox. I'm sure you won't find it difficult to grasp at all...  All that being said, yeah, you should definitely check it out (you individual you, who I in no way am singling out any one particular person or demographic for this informative discourse, so you should definitely not be offended as if I was talking specifically to you).  (Although, in some subconscious way, I probably was... Just so you know.) <br><sub> ~ {{god|Belteshazzar}} </sub>
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''Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send {{god|Bellatrixie the Strange}} (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.''
 
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Fun with Fiends</p>
 
! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Fun with Fiends</p>
 
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| [[File:HyperLynx.jpg|thumb|right|This guy just does. not. stop! Apologies, but this is the best photo we could get.]]Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville [[monster]]) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: [[Hyper Lynx]].
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| [[File:BeardlessDwarf.JPG|thumb|right|Don’t be fooled by his misleading lack of facial hair.]]Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville [[monster]]) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: [[Bearless Dwarf]].
  
 
* '''Q:''' Why do you fight heroes?
 
* '''Q:''' Why do you fight heroes?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' I used to run a website on Heronet, but it got shut down because nobody visited it no matter what I did to promote it. It's the heroes' fault that my site got shut down, so I fight purely for the sake of revenge and saving up enough gold from the heroes to get a new site and funds to promote it.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Isn't it obvious? Can't you see I don't have a beard? My last fake beard got ripped into pieces by a Disgruntled Customer who thought I was a shop clerk in disguise. Fake beards are expensive, often poor quality and terribly itchy. I figured I may just as well make one for free. That's why I need the hair of the heroes.}}
* '''Q:''' But most heroes don't have computers. Have you considered using Monsternet instead? Possibly promoting on Monsterbook?
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* '''Q:''' Can't you just grow a beard?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Not much. The site is targeted at heroes - after all, it's meant to... eh...}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Trust me, I've tried, but it won't work. I don't know for sure why, but the doctor has said the hair on my chin might suffer from agoraphobia. I'm still not sure if he was joking.}}
* '''Q:''' Meant to what?
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* '''Q:''' Have you tried hair growth products?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' I can't tell you. Some other monsters wouldn't like it... It could cost me my fish reserves if it got out.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Yes, once. Ended up growing a blackberry bush on my chin. Took ages (and some expensive surgery) to get rid of it.}}
* '''Q:''' … Okay. So, what is your favorite bar/tavern/etc.?
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* '''Q:''' What is your favorite bar/tavern/etc.?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Definitely Progress Bar.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Actually, I don't really go to that kind of place much. I prefer to go to the hairdresser to pick up some of the hair that falls on the floor. I'm not sure if anyone's noticed yet.}}
* '''Q:''' What kind of hero do you prefer for dinner?
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* '''Q:''' What tip would you give to younger monsters?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Heroes who didn't visit my original site, filled with the sweet taste of revenge. That's almost all heroes in Godville, too. Yummy...}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Grow a beard and be happy with it. That applies to heroes as well, if only for me to be able to take it.}}
''At this point, the Hyper Lynx began licking his chops and our interviewer, promising to return, hurriedly left and locked himself in the bathroom. We’ve been tossing sammiches through the vents, but this lynx isn’t just hyper, he’s tenacious! Hopefully we’ll get this sorted before next week. If you have a burning question for a Godville [[monster]], or a particular [[monster]] you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.''
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''At this point, the Bearded Dwarf noticed our interviewers 5 o’clock shadow and, excited by the prospect of facial hair, grabbed him and ran. We hope to have him tracked down and back in the <s>interrogation</s> interview room (hopefully with his face intact) before next week. If you have a burning question for a Godville [[monster]], or a particular [[monster]] you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.''
 
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Hidden Shadows Riddles</p>
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! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">News Briefs</p>
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| [[File:HSRiddles.jpg|thumb|right|When is a door not a door?]] '''How to play:'''
 
 
 
# Each week, a riddle will be posted in here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest.
 
# To try to solve the riddle, post your answer on [[Hidden Shadows]] [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2056 guild forum.]
 
# Do not worry about the previous posts before you. If your answer is not listed yet, post it!
 
# You are given three tries. Once you’ve guessed three times, you will be unable to guess again.
 
# If the riddle is still unanswered two days before the next riddle is posted, anyone will be allowed to guess regardless of number of previous guesses.
 
# Answer will be posted the day of the new riddle should nobody figure out the answer.
 
# Winner will get a spot in sowing Sun’s Sunday sock puppet play.
 
# Play again next week to see if you can win!
 
 
 
The answer to '''Last Week’s Riddle''' ''(I'm loved and hated by many and some. A sweet little thing, I'm creative and fun. I'm here everyday whether you like me or not. Watch me carefully. I tend to cause problems a lot.)'', in honor of the anniversary of the birth of {{god|Lady Shadows}} on July 24, was ''Birthday!''
 
 
 
'''This Week’s Riddle:'''
 
 
 
''Pronounced as one, made using three. Two are used within me. I can be single but rare. I'm black, brown, gray and of course sometimes white. Read me either way, you'll get the same story each time.''
 
 
 
Good luck!
 
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! style="padding:2px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Special Announcements</p>
 
 
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*'''What:''' Ideabox workshop! <br>'''When:''' NOW! The first workshop is set to begin soon. <br>'''Where:''' Sign up in the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2395 Workshop] forum thread. Each workshop will be a mix of group work here in the thread and one-on-one interaction via private message (if desired). <br>'''Why:''' The ideabox can seem puzzling and daunting at times. Learn about the experts’ experiences, and to turn boxing into something fun! This is an opportunity for anyone to learn about the ideabox from scratch, or to simply find out something new. <br><br>
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 125%;" | Congratulations to:
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*'''What:''' Awesome God Friday! <br>'''When:''' Every Friday (hint: that’s why it’s called Awesome God ''Friday''). <br>'''Where:''' The [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1655 sowing Sun] guild forum. <br>'''Why:''' Get to know a bit about a fellow deity in Godville! Someone thinks they’re awesome, you might, too! The recipients (and those who adore them) aren’t a bad way to spend the now-free Invites to Godville you’re saving, either.
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* {{god|Newes}} and {{god|Kyrin}} who are so old we get to make fun of their funny clothes... I mean who earned their Prophets’ robes this past week! Thanks for sticking around!! 
 
* {{god|Anonymouse}} whose heroine completed her most evil quest just today: #666: Take two aspirin and quest again in the morning. It doesn’t sound all that evil, but it was #666, so we’re celebrating, darn it!
 
* {{god|God Is Not Short}} who zapped their hero to win #500 in the arena this week! Way to go!
 
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! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Famous HM Heroes This Week</p>
 
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! style="padding:2px;" | #920 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1167 g.e.
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! style="padding:2px;" | #927 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1174 g.e.
 
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| '''Fallon Skye''' - 66th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “Blood Moon Mystic ☾”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/storytelling?page=1#p_49 49th position] in the [[pantheon of storytellers]] under the vigilant supervision of the god {{god|Nenalata}}. Distinctive features: a reckless disregard for danger, and an incredibly high pain threshold caused by repeated exposure to blunt objects.
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| '''Tiggy''' - 78th-level adventurer, member of the “[[Harvest Moon]]” guild, with the motto “It's not fair .....”, stands at the [http://godvillegame.com/pantheon/show/mastery?page=2#p_169 169th position] in the [[pantheon of mastery]] under the vigilant supervision of the goddess {{god|Tiggilina}}. All she ever wanted was a little love and affection.
 
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! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Member of the Week</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #afa3bf; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Member of the Week</p>
 
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|-
| [[File:Vothros.jpg|thumb|left|Yeah - he’s that good looking, folks. It’s best not to look directly at him...]]Get to know a member of [[Harvest Moon]]! This week's guest is: {{God|Vothros}}
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| [[File:Pialphamu.jpg|thumb|left|Don’t let the name fool you, this goddess is old skool evil.]]Get to know a member of [[Harvest Moon]]! This week's guest is: {{God|Pialphamu}}
*  '''Q:''' What GV pet would you like to have?
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*  '''Q:''' What is your favorite salty snack?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' One that doesn't die.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Kitten jerky!}}
* '''Q:''' What are your hero's marketable skills?
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* '''Q:''' What song do you love to dance to?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' He’s easy to kill.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Milkshake,  because milkshakes go good with kitten jerky.}}
* '''Q:''' Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
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* '''Q:''' Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' ...... Yes :)}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' I only do it if I am about to die, then I get mad. :-p}}
* '''Q:''' Do you have any hidden talents?
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* '''Q:''' Do you have any hidden talents?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Forgetting my hero in the arena to die on his own.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Getting struck by lightning. Seriously, I've been struck TWICE!!}}
* '''Q:''' What is the most memorable thing your hero has done so far?  
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*  '''Q:''' If you had to choose between frolicking with butterflies or hugging a puppy, which would you choose and why (death is not an option).
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Side stepping to prevent a falling rock hurting his shoulder and getting a concussion instead. :)}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Puppies are awesome,  and they eat kitties!!}}
* '''Q:''' If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?  
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* '''Q:''' What is the most memorable thing your hero has done so far?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' That beer guzzling slob? I'd probably go for his toenails. At least those I can wash.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Running around naked WAY longer than he had to!}}
* '''Q:''' Of all of the equipment out there, what is your ultimate, dream “outfit” for your hero?  
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*  '''Q:''' Of all of the equipment out there, what is your ultimate, dream “outfit” for your hero?
* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Never thought about it. As long as he remains clothed I'm happy and so are you.}}
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Guy Fawks mask, sword, and NOTHING else!!}}
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* '''Q:''' If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' His heart, raw and bloody, fresh out of the body!}}
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* '''Q:''' What's the most evil thing your hero has done in your temple?
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* {{color|maroon||'''A:''' Put flowers on my altar! Grrrr!!!}}
 
''What would you like to know about your [[Harvest Moon]] guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
 
''What would you like to know about your [[Harvest Moon]] guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'
 
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! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
! style="padding:2px;" | Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
 
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|'''FOR SALE:''' Defective hero speaks the wrong language. I have no idea what he’s saying... Err... Will be a great tutor if looking to learn a different language. Call 555-EEE-WHAA
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|'''FOR SALE:''' A walk in the woods is relaxing and peaceful - don’t let dragging a dead hero around get in your way! Out of sight, out of mind with Body Bags by Bob! Now, dispose of rotting corpses with the ease of throwing away the Friday trash! Call 1-900-BAG-NTAG
 
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|-
| <br>'''WANTED:''' Evil genius seeks minions to sacrifice their lives in world domination attempt. Must be prepared to work 24-7 for fascist psychopath for no pay. Messy death inevitable but costumes and laser death rays provided. No weirdos. Call: 555-MWAH-HAHA
+
| <br>'''PERSONAL:''' [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2330?page=4#post_210898 <Personality CENSORED> Heroine seeks Hero] who shares her love for the Doctor.
 
|-
 
|-
| <br>'''FOR SALE:''' Hero with a map to buried treasure tattooed on back. Won’t stop trying to dig for it. Very annoying. Call: BUY-A-MIRROR
+
| <br>'''FOR SALE:''' Have you ever found yourself saying “Oh, Lord, my savior, would you do me a favor, I just want a butt like my neighbor’s.” Well wish no more my fellow deities! We bring you Not-A-Knife! The latest in butt-cheek-removal science from the labs of Dr. Frank. This tool comes complete with an ergonomically-correct gripping handle and steel-plated cutting edge. It will slice through even the toughest hindquarters like a knife through butter! When you neighbor asks what you’re doing with that blade, you can say with confidence, “Don’t worry! It’s Not-A-Knife!” Call 1-900-NOT-NIFE today! Call within the next 24 hours, and we’ll give you a second Not-A-Knife for only the cost of shipping and handling.
 
|-
 
|-
| <br>'''SERVICE:''' Lesons in englissh grammer kontact I at 1-555-TEECH-ME four mor informayshon
+
| <br>'''PERSONAL:''' [http://godvillegame.com/forums/redirect_to_post/2330?post=209790 Friendly hero seeks kind heroine] to compose music with.
 
|-
 
|-
| <br>'''WANTED:''' 363 gold pieces. Will gladly trade for a nice hat. Call 1-EVRY-MINUTE
+
| <br>'''WANTED:''' Used paint for a new bar opening in town. Call: Penny Pincher at Watered Down Suds. 555-LES-BEER
 
|-
 
|-
| <br>'''WANTED:''' Guild surgeon for a new health clinic opening in the area. No experience needed. Must have own tools. Call: STITCHES-4-U
+
| <br>'''FOR SALE:''' Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Hero got a girlfriend last weekend. Her goddess knows everything! Call LKY-DUCK with offers.
 
|-
 
|-
| <br>'''PERSONAL:''' Will the person who got hit in the head with a tomato in the 1950’s please contact: OOPS-MY-BAD2
+
| <br>'''DINNER SPECIAL:''' This week only at Moose’s Loose Meat Sandwich Joint: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Hero $2.00.
 
|-
 
|-
| <br>'''WANTED:''' Someone to clean temple. Could become a full-time position. Must have hula-hoop. Call: WHAT-CAMERA
+
| <br>'''FOR SALE:''' Used carts! Why go anywhere else to be cheated when you can come here? Visit Freddie’s Friendly Used Carts in Tradeburgh today!  
|-
 
| <br>'''POSITION AVAILABLE:''' Are you tired of working for only $9.75 an hour? We offer profit sharing, flexible hours, paid vacations and health benefits! Starting pay $5 - $7 per hour depending upon experience. Call: WHY-WRK-4MOR
 
|-
 
| <br>'''FOR SALE:''' Solid oak, handmade casket in good condition. True work of art! Used only once. Pop on in to Charlie’s Chipped Corpse Containers in Deville. A deal this good only comes along once in a lifetime so be sure to visit ''every'' lifetime!
 
|-
 
| <br>'''LOST:''' Arm, hand attached. Last seen in an open field. If found please bring it to the <s>doctor’s office in Anville. I’ll be waiting!</s> Dr. Frank’s lab. Will pay well for your discretion.
 
|-
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Doctor Frank's Advice Corner</p>
 
|-
 
| [[File:Drfrank.jpeg|thumbnail|left|An evil queen]]''Dear Dr. Frank, <br><br>I'm constantly being followed by noobs. They're always in my way, slowing me down, and trying to take credit for my dirty work! I've shot at them with lightning bolts, rained down upon them with acid, yet they won't stop following me! Worst of all, they call themselves my “minions!” If I wanted minions, I'd adopt yellow tic-tac's! Please, I'm begging you, can you give me ideas on how to quietly "dispose" of them? <br><br>Signed, <br>Totally creeped out.
 
 
 
<br><br>Dearest You think ''you’re'' creeped out, <br><br>Oh, there are ways - so many ways - to dispose of minions, quietly or otherwise! Let’s start with the basics, shall we? They like what they’ve seen so far? Kick it up a notch! They think lightning is fun? Great! How do they like it when it strikes the swimming pool they’re all in? Acid rain makes them giggle? Try napalm! It’s the gift that keeps on giving! <br><br>Still thinking of something more... quiet? Just swing on by my lab for a visit. Heck, stay for dinner! I’m sure I can find several recipes that they will... agree with. <br><br>I hesitate to mention this last option, but I’d be doing our readers a disservice if I didn’t. Your last resort: If they seem to like what you’ve done so far, try switching it up. Give them rainbows and unicorns instead of lightning and acid. I know, I know - I shudder at these thoughts myself - I’d say “playing nice” like that is downright despicable - but war is war and losing is not an option. Best of luck! I do hope you’ll take me up on my dinner invitation. <br><br>Yours, <br>~Dr. Frank
 
 
|-
 
|-
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Over the Moon'''</p>
 
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">'''Over the Moon'''</p>
Line 185: Line 173:
 
'''This week’s Answers:'''
 
'''This week’s Answers:'''
  
# This de facto country became no longer a country in 1951.
+
# 75 years ago, this man opened his first business named after a green amphibian.  
# a) The annual HM picnic is scheduled for this weekend. Bella sends the gnomes to buy plates and cups for all of the guests and she is very clear that they are not to come back without exactly as many cups as plates (1 cup for every plate). Plates are only available in packages of 54 and cups are only available in packages of 42. This is the number of packages of each item the gnomes have to get. <br><br>b) In addition, Dr. Frank makes the gnomes a list of food needed for the picnic: <br>* The ratio of kitty sammiches to veggie burgers is 9 to 2. <br> * The ratio of hot dogs to kitty sammiches is 4 to 3. <br> * The gnomes need to get exactly 24 veggie burgers. <br>This is how many hot dogs they will need to buy.
+
# Assuming boss monsters can have one to three different abilities at any time, this is the number of possible, different combinations of abilities for boss monsters.
# Ultraviolet, dummy, and stone have this in common.
+
# Like tribbles, it emits an ear-piercing shriek of aggression, but is not bothered by Klingons.
# This natural remedy is derived from the bark of a willow tree
+
# The one who played a Latin lover in a 90s Julia Roberts movie is also the voice of this cartoon character.
 
  
 
We have a whole new game a-brewing for this month’s Championship round. Who will be the first contestant? It could be you! See you in the forum!
 
We have a whole new game a-brewing for this month’s Championship round. Who will be the first contestant? It could be you! See you in the forum!
 
|-
 
|-
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">News Briefs</p>
+
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Hidden Shadows Riddles</p>
 +
|-
 +
| [[File:HSRiddles.jpg|thumb|right|When is a door not a door?]] '''How to play:'''
 +
 
 +
# Each week, a riddle will be posted in here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest.
 +
# To try to solve the riddle, post your answer on [[Hidden Shadows]] [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2056 guild forum.]
 +
# Do not worry about the previous posts before you. If your answer is not listed yet, post it!
 +
# You are given three tries. Once you’ve guessed three times, you will be unable to guess again.
 +
# If the riddle is still unanswered two days before the next riddle is posted, anyone will be allowed to guess regardless of number of previous guesses.
 +
# Answer will be posted the day of the new riddle should nobody figure out the answer.
 +
# Winner will get a spot in sowing Sun’s Sunday sock puppet play.
 +
# Play again next week to see if you can win!
 +
 
 +
The answer to '''Last Week’s Riddle''' ''(I'm loved and hated by many and some. A sweet little thing, I'm creative and fun. I'm here everyday whether you like me or not. Watch me carefully. I tend to cause problems a lot.)'', in honor of the anniversary of the birth of {{god|Lady Shadows}} on July 24, was ''Birthday!''
 +
 
 +
'''This Week’s Riddle:'''
 +
 
 +
''The look on my face is of surprise. My brother, below me, wears the same disguise. Hold very still so we can see who moves first. I can promise it won't be we.''
 +
 
 +
Good luck!
 +
|-
 +
! style="padding:5px;" | <p style="margin:3px; background:#76B173; font-size:120%; font-weight:bold; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left; color:#000; padding:0.2em 0.4em;">Special Announcements</p>
 
|-
 
|-
 
|
 
|
*'''What:''' First Godville National Tournament <br>'''When:''' NOW! Round one is almost over. Stay tuned to the [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/Godville_National_Tournament tournament’s wiki] for updates. <br>'''Where:''' Logs are being posted on the [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/1796 tournament forum thread] in the Main Square. <br>'''Why:''' Some fights are just as fun to watch as they are to participate in! See what interesting tactics the gladiators come up with to help them overcome the limited-GP hurdle. <br><br>
+
{| style="float: center; margin-center: 3em; border: 3px solid gray;"
*'''What:''' Waffle Wednesdays <br>'''When:''' … on Wednesdays. Hello? <br>'''Where:''' The [http://godvillegame.com/forums/show_topic/2321 Infinity Waffles] guild forum. <br>'''Why:''' Waffles. Need I say more? Waffles for Waffle Wednesday at [[Infinity Waffles]] every Wednesday. See? Not so hard. :
+
! colspan="2" style="font-size: 125%;" | Congratulations to:
 
|-
 
|-
 +
|
 +
* {{god|Zoson}} who managed to put up with all of us for 600 days! His heroine earned place as a Prophet in [[Harvest Moon]] this week! Congratulations, old man!
 +
* {{god|Somnias Vagus}} who is celebrating the end to cancelling guild quests now that her heroine has reached Cardinal. Yay!
 +
|}
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
Line 210: Line 222:
 
| <sub>By: {{god|Somnias Vagus}} and {{god|Nekomancer}}</sub>
 
| <sub>By: {{god|Somnias Vagus}} and {{god|Nekomancer}}</sub>
 
|-
 
|-
|[[File:AHCw7.jpg|700px|center]] Missed last week’s? [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/User:Somnias_Vagus Click here!]
+
|[[File:AHCw82.jpg|700px|center]] Missed last week’s? [http://wiki.godvillegame.com/User:Somnias_Vagus Click here!]
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
 
|}
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{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" style="border: 3px solid #76B173; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 8px; width:100%;"
 
{| cellpadding="3" cellspacing="3" style="border: 3px solid #76B173; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 8px; width:100%;"
 
|-
 
|-
| style="background:#FBEACA" |''Batten down the hatches!''
+
| style="background:#FBEACA" |''It's gonna be bad this week. And next week. And the rest of the year.''
 
|}
 
|}
 
----
 
----

Revision as of 01:04, 2 August 2013

MastheadSummer.JPG

This week’s featured topic: Boss Monster Update

Other useful links:

  1. The HM Website
  2. HM Merchandise
  3. Our Town Influence

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? • #39

Boss Monster Update

Four new abilities!
The four newest boss abilities explained
By: GodDoctor Frank-n-furter 

In case you haven’t heard, our not-so-friendly boss neighbors have learned new abilities to enhance and thwart your “get rich quick” digging scheme.

All bosses, whether found at the end of a mini-quest, called with an artifact, or dug up while questing, may have 0-3 abilities. A quick recap of the previous ones:

  • Auriferous - Creates gold; converts random stones, artifacts, and the heroes blood into gold. Most allies would prefer to keep this one alive for maximum gold reward.
  • Deafening - Cancels out ALL voice commands.
  • Faithless - Immune to Punishes. Bonus: also immune to Encourage backfires.
  • Hulking - Monster has more health points than usual.
  • Leeching - Will steal health points from Encourages.
  • Nimble - Monster can hit twice in one turn as well as attack out of turn.
  • Pickpocket - Steals items from the heroes to add to its inventory; eats items to heal.
  • Squandering - Eats gold and items. Kill quickly for maximum reward.
  • Summoning - Calls in mini version of itself to aid it in battle. Mini has no abilities.
  • Sweeping – Can hit all heroes at once.

The four new ones are a tad more complex than those that preceded them:

  • Enlightened - This bad boy has pros and cons. The negative: can reflect Punish damage back onto the hero. Much like Leeching shares health from an Encourage, this one shares the pain of the Punish with the hero. The positive: All survivors will get their godpower refilled to 100% at end of fight.
  • Explosive - damages all heroes when defeated. To avoid being taken out at the end, keep your health above 30%.
  • Skilled - Much like the auriferous creates gold throughout the fight, this one creates artifacts. They can converts items in their own inventory, create them from nothing, or create them using the hero’s blood. Note: if the new artifact is created from an existing item, the monster will throw away the unused parts, damaging all heroes; if the item is created from nothing, the monster heals itself a bit, and if it’s created by biting a hero, that particular hero is damaged. Unlike the Auriferous, most allies aren’t as excited at the prospect of this one staying alive for 100+ steps.
  • Sneaky - Flees the battle if not killed in time. Good news: he’s not as sneaky as you may think! He gives a warning (looks for an exit) a few steps before fleeing allowing the surviving heroes to band together to take him down. If he escapes, there is now reward (no gold, no artifacts) for any of the heroes.

There you have them, folks! Four new boss abilities in a nutshell. Happy hunting!

At Home with Bella Stewart

Queen of evil
Advice from the Mavin of the Macabre, the Mistress of Mystery, our very own Empress: Bellatrixie The Strange! Errr... Hairplug4men, standing in for Bellatrixie The Strange!

Bellatrixie has been given the night off due to “Sacrificial Ceremonies” so I have stepped into her shoes to offer my decorating and craft ideas. Yes, I like crafts. You may not know this, but my entire bed is built from popsicle sticks. I am also responsible for all of the still-standing out houses behind the HM headquarters... So, let’s begin.

Dear Bella,
I hate my pet Bellatrixie! The stupid Dust Bunny is always behaving, looking cute or just in general being a goody goody! My evil friends have been making fun of me since I got it, and now I hate to even go to the tavern for fear of getting teased! Please help me make this pet more evil or I may never drink again...
Signed: Ivanted A. Centaur

Well, first of all, is it a crime to open someone else’s mail? Because, if so, for the record, I didn't open the above letter, my pet did. See, Ivanted, it's just that easy to make anything around evil: just lie. I mean, I'm not lying, but you could! Unfortunately, you can only make others appear evil since making someone or thing actually evil takes years of focus and random abuse. I don't want to make you wait that long to drink again so what I think you should do is...

  1. Dye your bunny pitch black. This way he'll be easier to hide in the dark bars.
  2. Magic marker his eyes neon red. Now, the only part that can be seen clearly by others are two floating red eyes.
  3. Get him a spiked collar. If he's hiding well enough no one should be able to see it, but I had an ex once who always wore a spiked collar and she was the most evil witch ever, so it can’t hurt.
  4. Novelty horns. Super glue them to it's body then duct tape for good measure.

These are just a few suggestions. Ultimately, I recommend you just get out your Dust Devil and vacuum that pest up. I think you'd look less wimpy going to the tavern with a vacuum than a Dust Bunny.

Down in the dumps about your home or temple's decor? Send GodBellatrixie the Strange  (aka Bella Stewart) your questions directly or submit them to any member of the newspaper staff.

Fun with Fiends

Don’t be fooled by his misleading lack of facial hair.
Here we sit down periodically with a common opponent (a.k.a. a Godville monster) and find out what’s behind the mask. This week’s fiend is: Bearless Dwarf.
  • Q: Why do you fight heroes?
  • A: Isn't it obvious? Can't you see I don't have a beard? My last fake beard got ripped into pieces by a Disgruntled Customer who thought I was a shop clerk in disguise. Fake beards are expensive, often poor quality and terribly itchy. I figured I may just as well make one for free. That's why I need the hair of the heroes.
  • Q: Can't you just grow a beard?
  • A: Trust me, I've tried, but it won't work. I don't know for sure why, but the doctor has said the hair on my chin might suffer from agoraphobia. I'm still not sure if he was joking.
  • Q: Have you tried hair growth products?
  • A: Yes, once. Ended up growing a blackberry bush on my chin. Took ages (and some expensive surgery) to get rid of it.
  • Q: What is your favorite bar/tavern/etc.?
  • A: Actually, I don't really go to that kind of place much. I prefer to go to the hairdresser to pick up some of the hair that falls on the floor. I'm not sure if anyone's noticed yet.
  • Q: What tip would you give to younger monsters?
  • A: Grow a beard and be happy with it. That applies to heroes as well, if only for me to be able to take it.

At this point, the Bearded Dwarf noticed our interviewers 5 o’clock shadow and, excited by the prospect of facial hair, grabbed him and ran. We hope to have him tracked down and back in the interrogation interview room (hopefully with his face intact) before next week. If you have a burning question for a Godville monster, or a particular monster you’d like to know more about, submit your questions or ideas to the HMWH staff. Thank you.

News Briefs

  • What: Ideabox workshop!
    When: NOW! The first workshop is set to begin soon.
    Where: Sign up in the Workshop forum thread. Each workshop will be a mix of group work here in the thread and one-on-one interaction via private message (if desired).
    Why: The ideabox can seem puzzling and daunting at times. Learn about the experts’ experiences, and to turn boxing into something fun! This is an opportunity for anyone to learn about the ideabox from scratch, or to simply find out something new.

  • What: Awesome God Friday!
    When: Every Friday (hint: that’s why it’s called Awesome God Friday).
    Where: The sowing Sun guild forum.
    Why: Get to know a bit about a fellow deity in Godville! Someone thinks they’re awesome, you might, too! The recipients (and those who adore them) aren’t a bad way to spend the now-free Invites to Godville you’re saving, either.

Famous HM Heroes This Week

#927 GODVILLE TIMES Day 1174 g.e.
Tiggy - 78th-level adventurer, member of the “Harvest Moon” guild, with the motto “It's not fair .....”, stands at the 169th position in the pantheon of mastery under the vigilant supervision of the goddess GodTiggilina . All she ever wanted was a little love and affection.

Member of the Week

Don’t let the name fool you, this goddess is old skool evil.
Get to know a member of Harvest Moon! This week's guest is: GodPialphamu 
  • Q: What is your favorite salty snack?
  • A: Kitten jerky!
  • Q: What song do you love to dance to?
  • A: Milkshake, because milkshakes go good with kitten jerky.
  • Q: Do you get emotional using Encourage when in times of crisis?
  • A: I only do it if I am about to die, then I get mad. :-p
  • Q: Do you have any hidden talents?
  • A: Getting struck by lightning. Seriously, I've been struck TWICE!!
  • Q: If you had to choose between frolicking with butterflies or hugging a puppy, which would you choose and why (death is not an option).
  • A: Puppies are awesome, and they eat kitties!!
  • Q: What is the most memorable thing your hero has done so far?
  • A: Running around naked WAY longer than he had to!
  • Q: Of all of the equipment out there, what is your ultimate, dream “outfit” for your hero?
  • A: Guy Fawks mask, sword, and NOTHING else!!
  • Q: If you had to eat your hero, which part of the body would you tuck into first?
  • A: His heart, raw and bloody, fresh out of the body!
  • Q: What's the most evil thing your hero has done in your temple?
  • A: Put flowers on my altar! Grrrr!!!

What would you like to know about your Harvest Moon guild mates? Submit your questions to any member of the Weekly Harvest staff!'

Classifieds

Selling Evil Since Day 898 g.e.
FOR SALE: A walk in the woods is relaxing and peaceful - don’t let dragging a dead hero around get in your way! Out of sight, out of mind with Body Bags by Bob! Now, dispose of rotting corpses with the ease of throwing away the Friday trash! Call 1-900-BAG-NTAG

PERSONAL: <Personality CENSORED> Heroine seeks Hero who shares her love for the Doctor.

FOR SALE: Have you ever found yourself saying “Oh, Lord, my savior, would you do me a favor, I just want a butt like my neighbor’s.” Well wish no more my fellow deities! We bring you Not-A-Knife! The latest in butt-cheek-removal science from the labs of Dr. Frank. This tool comes complete with an ergonomically-correct gripping handle and steel-plated cutting edge. It will slice through even the toughest hindquarters like a knife through butter! When you neighbor asks what you’re doing with that blade, you can say with confidence, “Don’t worry! It’s Not-A-Knife!” Call 1-900-NOT-NIFE today! Call within the next 24 hours, and we’ll give you a second Not-A-Knife for only the cost of shipping and handling.

PERSONAL: Friendly hero seeks kind heroine to compose music with.

WANTED: Used paint for a new bar opening in town. Call: Penny Pincher at Watered Down Suds. 555-LES-BEER

FOR SALE: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Hero got a girlfriend last weekend. Her goddess knows everything! Call LKY-DUCK with offers.

DINNER SPECIAL: This week only at Moose’s Loose Meat Sandwich Joint: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Hero $2.00.

FOR SALE: Used carts! Why go anywhere else to be cheated when you can come here? Visit Freddie’s Friendly Used Carts in Tradeburgh today!

Over the Moon

Games and winners and prizes! Oh, my!
The Weekly Harvest Quiz

How to play:

  • Each week, there will be four “questions” posted here (and only here) in the Weekly Harvest. Answers to the questions can be found in the wiki, on the HM web site, in the forums or will be math/logic-based.
  • Your “answers” must be in question form (a-la Jeopardy!).
  • Answers must be submitted via the Harvest Moon Forum. Answers only, please! Don’t give away the questions to non-WH readers.
  • The first god/dess to get all four questions right will win four (4) charges and be automatically entered to play in the Over the Moon Championship, held monthly on Palringo (yes, you’ll need to join Pal to play).
  • The winner of the OtM Championship (to be based on a different game show each month) will receive 45 charges!!

This week’s Answers:

  1. 75 years ago, this man opened his first business named after a green amphibian.
  2. Assuming boss monsters can have one to three different abilities at any time, this is the number of possible, different combinations of abilities for boss monsters.
  3. Like tribbles, it emits an ear-piercing shriek of aggression, but is not bothered by Klingons.
  4. The one who played a Latin lover in a 90s Julia Roberts movie is also the voice of this cartoon character.

We have a whole new game a-brewing for this month’s Championship round. Who will be the first contestant? It could be you! See you in the forum!

Hidden Shadows Riddles

When is a door not a door?
How to play:
  1. Each week, a riddle will be posted in here (and only here) in The Weekly Harvest.
  2. To try to solve the riddle, post your answer on Hidden Shadows guild forum.
  3. Do not worry about the previous posts before you. If your answer is not listed yet, post it!
  4. You are given three tries. Once you’ve guessed three times, you will be unable to guess again.
  5. If the riddle is still unanswered two days before the next riddle is posted, anyone will be allowed to guess regardless of number of previous guesses.
  6. Answer will be posted the day of the new riddle should nobody figure out the answer.
  7. Winner will get a spot in sowing Sun’s Sunday sock puppet play.
  8. Play again next week to see if you can win!

The answer to Last Week’s Riddle (I'm loved and hated by many and some. A sweet little thing, I'm creative and fun. I'm here everyday whether you like me or not. Watch me carefully. I tend to cause problems a lot.), in honor of the anniversary of the birth of GodLady Shadows  on July 24, was Birthday!

This Week’s Riddle:

The look on my face is of surprise. My brother, below me, wears the same disguise. Hold very still so we can see who moves first. I can promise it won't be we.

Good luck!

Special Announcements

Congratulations to:
  • GodZoson  who managed to put up with all of us for 600 days! His heroine earned place as a Prophet in Harvest Moon this week! Congratulations, old man!
  • GodSomnias Vagus  who is celebrating the end to cancelling guild quests now that her heroine has reached Cardinal. Yay!

A Hero’s Chronicle

By: GodSomnias Vagus  and GodNekomancer 
AHCw82.jpg
Missed last week’s? Click here!

It's gonna be bad this week. And next week. And the rest of the year.

Special Thanks to our staff writers: Bellatrixie the Strange, Belteshazzar, Doctor Frank-n-Furter, Elementarion, Hairplug4men, Lady Darkness, Mistress of Science and Zeerty. Content contributors: Cecceticat, Iduna, Makaze, Raindropstop and SourceRunner. Staff photographer: Bellatrixie the Strange.
Past Issues Of the Weekly Harvest