Registered Hex Offender

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Strong Monsters of Godville
Registered Hex Offender
Strong Monster
Class Human
Habitat Almost anywhere
Description Humanoid, highly offensive

The Registered Hex offender is widely considered one of the most offensive monsters ever to roam Godville.


This claim is not unfounded, for the arsenal of insults at its disposal cause any hero who attempts to kill it's major self esteem damage, which if it doesn't kill the hero outright will most likely cause them to give up fighting it and leave themselves vulnerable to attack. Having your mother called a hamster, or a threat to fart in your general direction would seem like a compliment in comparison. The insults it spews are so rude in fact, that gods may become offended by simply seeing the monster, even going to the point of trying to have it removed so they won't have to hear its rudeness or abandoning their heroes altogether to avoid another such experience.


A long time ago, a witch put a hex on an innocent man. In retaliation, he began yelling horrible things about her and her spells. This seemed futile at first, but shortly after the hex itself became so offended by what the man had said, that it removed itself from him in an attempt to escape his rudeness. At this point the man realized he had a gift, he was able to remove hexes simply by offending them. So with that, he went off to find others who had been cursed and save them. This he did, and he was very popular and praised throughout the land of Godville for his work. But a wandering master who made money by charging large amounts of money for advice on removal of curses was not happy at all. With the Hex Offender removing curses left right and center, he was losing business so he devised a plan to put a stop to it.

He approached the man and told him a lie, that you were required to register yourself for such a job as removing a hex. The master handed the man a registration form and no sooner had he filled it in than his face began appearing on wanted posters in every town. The master had used the form to register the Hex Offender as a monster, and soon heroes all over were looking for him, trying to kill him for a reward. The Hex Offender was forced to go into hiding and the master could once again get back to charging people for advice on hexes. Since then, the Registered Hex Offender has been trying to kill as many heroes as possible so that he can go back to his old job without fear of attack.



  • Knowledge of curses
  • Insults can reduce heroes to tears in seconds
  • Incredibly obscene gestures leave heroes too horrified to fight
  • Able to offend even gods with its mere presence, possibly prompting them to abandon their heroes
  • Practically immune to magic based attacks


  • Little skill in close combat
  • Heroes with plugged ears and covered eyes will be immune to it's method of attack, if they can find it is another issue
  • The letters "QC" make it cower in fear for unknown reasons
  • Can be tricked into ranting about witches and wandering masters for long enough to allow for a clean getaway
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