Difference between revisions of "Red Bull"

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“I’ll save you,” declared the {{a or b|hero|heroine}}, drawing {{a or b|his|her}} stale loaf of French bread}}. A swipe, and another swipe dispersed the menacingly colorful sky pirates! A third swipe knocked one of the fleeing rogues to the ground, and the {{a or b|hero|heroine}} stomped it to death with a satisfying crunch! It would never sting another innocent soul!
 
“I’ll save you,” declared the {{a or b|hero|heroine}}, drawing {{a or b|his|her}} stale loaf of French bread}}. A swipe, and another swipe dispersed the menacingly colorful sky pirates! A third swipe knocked one of the fleeing rogues to the ground, and the {{a or b|hero|heroine}} stomped it to death with a satisfying crunch! It would never sting another innocent soul!
  
The Red Bull, Ferdinand, looked on in bewilderment and growing horror as this {{a or b|hero|heroine}} who should have been solving the itch on his nose instead attacked his butterflies. His butterflies. ''His'' butterflies. And then '''''killed''''' one of them! His distressed lowing gave way to an outraged bellow, and he hooked the {{a or b|hero|heroine}} on his horns, galloping to toss {{a or b|him|her}} off the [[Cliffs of Unrequited Love]]. That done, he bellowed again, putting all of the latent magic in his body to work to lay an oath upon himself and all of his kind to avenge all butterflies against all {{a or b|heroes|heroines}} for all of time.
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The Red Bull, Ferdinand, looked on in bewilderment and growing horror as this {{a or b|hero|heroine}} who should have been solving the itch on his nose instead attacked his butterflies. His butterflies. ''His'' butterflies. And then '''''killed''''' one of them! His distressed lowing gave way to an outraged bellow, and he hooked the {{a or b|hero|heroine}} on his horns, galloping to toss {{a or b|him|her}} off the [[Cliff of Unrequited Love]]. That done, he bellowed again, putting all of the latent magic in his body to work to lay an oath upon himself and all of his kind to avenge all butterflies against all {{a or b|heroes|heroines}} for all of time.
  
 
Shortly thereafter, all '''Red Bulls''' broke out of their pastures and became wild things, learning their new vendetta’s craft at the knees of the [[Terror Bull|Terror Bulls]].
 
Shortly thereafter, all '''Red Bulls''' broke out of their pastures and became wild things, learning their new vendetta’s craft at the knees of the [[Terror Bull|Terror Bulls]].

Revision as of 19:32, 6 January 2019

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Last edit: 11 days ago by SourceRunner — History
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Monsters of Godville
Red Bull
Bovus rufus
Menagerie.png
Habitat High steppes and meadows.
Description Roseate male cattle frequently in the company of butterflies.

The Red Bull (Bovus Rufus) was once raised as domesticated cattle by the rural citizens of Godville, and was lauded as a gentle creature, good with children and heroines alike. Until a heroine stepped on one bull’s butterfly.

History

The troubles began with a bull named Ferdinand[1] who, like all bulls named Ferdinand, was very fond of butterflies. This Ferdinand had red fur, and was part of a species of cattle (Bovus rufus) that the farmers of Godville kept for draft work, mostly pulling ploughs and transporting the farmers’ kids to school.[2] As such, Ferdinand was adept at both humoring and minding children, and also was familiar with and friendly to the heroines he met along the road to school.

One day, there was a new heroine just starting out on the spiral road, and this heroine was deathly afraid of that scourge of the skies: the stinging insect. Being a city-bred heroine, she wasn’t certain what a stinging insect looked like, or if all insects had sabers strapped to their tails, but she was certain that they were abundant and apt to attack anything that moved.

Ferdinand was on his way back from dropping the kids off at school and was frolicking a little with the morning’s butterflies when he spotted the new heroine on the path ahead. He ambled up behind the heroine and snuffled into her hand, because that was the polite way to ask for a good facial scratching session.

The heroine jumped, a little startled, and followed the nose in her hand up to soulful, glistening eyes, up to strong, powerful shoulders, and beyond to the cloud of marauding bugs circling the poor, red creature. This was obviously a plea for help.

“I’ll save you,” declared the heroine, drawing her stale loaf of French bread}}. A swipe, and another swipe dispersed the menacingly colorful sky pirates! A third swipe knocked one of the fleeing rogues to the ground, and the heroine stomped it to death with a satisfying crunch! It would never sting another innocent soul!

The Red Bull, Ferdinand, looked on in bewilderment and growing horror as this heroine who should have been solving the itch on his nose instead attacked his butterflies. His butterflies. His butterflies. And then killed one of them! His distressed lowing gave way to an outraged bellow, and he hooked the heroine on his horns, galloping to toss her off the Cliff of Unrequited Love. That done, he bellowed again, putting all of the latent magic in his body to work to lay an oath upon himself and all of his kind to avenge all butterflies against all heroines for all of time.

Shortly thereafter, all Red Bulls broke out of their pastures and became wild things, learning their new vendetta’s craft at the knees of the Terror Bulls.

Combat Notes

Clouds of butterflies generally precede these monsters, so heroines can usually avoid them by maintaining vigilance. However, wild pixies will sometimes join the Red Bull’s butterfly flock, taking advantage of the monster’s poor eyesight for a little bit of protection from hawks and other predators. Heroines should be careful when swatting away a pesky pixie, because it’s distressed pheromones will reach any nearby pixies in butterfly clouds and cause them to drive a Red Bull at the heroine in defense of their kin.

An invisible narrator often accompanies a Red Bull, so a heroine can expect to hear the announcement, “Red Bull gives you wings.” Keeper K’targ of the Amateur Naturalist’s Khlub (ANKh) hypothesizes that this is a warning that the Red Bull is attempting a critical hit or a fatality move, somehow designed to send the heroine flying or turn her into an angel. ANKh advises any heroine who hears the announcement to take to her heels.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Goes faster because it’s red.
  • Great strength of feet.
  • Terrifyingly unreasoning hatred of heroines.

Weaknesses

  • Poor reasoning skills.
  • Pixie-led more often than not.

Footnotes

  1. Not that Ferdinand.
  2. When asked why only to school and not from, the stock farmer response is, “When I was a kid attending school, I had to walk uphill both ways. They can manage walking uphill one way.”
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
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Tigers Basement Cat 🐱 Bureau-Cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther 🐱 Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum 🐻 Drop Bear
Oh My! Adminotaur 🏋️ Boozerker 🏋️ Godbuster 🏋️ Thug-of-war 🏋️ Wraptor
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Equipment Ancient cork 🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly 🍻 Lion belch
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