Punk Panther

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Monsters of Godville
Punk Panther
Panthera delinquentis
Punk_panther.jpg
Class Mammalia
Habitat Metal and rock concerts.
Description Definitely not a pink panther.

The Punk Panthers (Panthera delinquentis) are sick and tired of being confused with their pink, twice-removed cousin. They're not pink and they're out to prove it. But if you have any recommendations for quality black fur dyes, they will stop to listen. Out of polite curiosity of course, nothing else.

Appearance

NOT PINK. If a hero happens to observe a hint of pink roots growing out at the base of a Pink Punk Panther's glossy, all-natural, black fur, the he should refrain from pointing it out. Not only would it sully the Punk Panther's honor, but there wouldn't be enough left of the offender to bother burying.

Taboo aside, Punk Panthers pride themselves on their sense of style. The surest way to pacify one is to comment on its perfectly groomed mohawk, or perhaps its selection of the newest, hippest eyebrow studs. Heavy gold chains, skull paraphernalia, and an excess of rings are also common accoutrements worn by Punk Panthers.

Habitat

Heroes and heroines are unlikely to ever encounter a Punk Panther in the wild. Being head-banging music aficionados, mosh pits are their chosen territory. Six out of thirty moshing sites are currently thought to have a local Punk Panther, but most are nomadic and rove according to concert bookings. Overall population is difficult to determine as they are sneaky, nocturnal creatures. They are very territorial, however, and will fight each other for their favorite bands, gravitating toward louder, more intense events. This means there is usually only one Punk Panther per mosh pit, but a loser may continue to slink about the fringes looking for a chance to slip back into the fray.

A love of wild dancing and screamo music is not the panther's only reason for preferring crazed crowds. In the midst of chaotic throngs, a Punk Panther can blend in and rock it out with the best of them, which gives it the opportunity to watch for victims who fall[1] and get trampled by the crowd. They like their meat tenderized.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Is groovy
  • Knows shadow jutsu
  • Isn't pink anymore

Weaknesses

  • Has a nose ring
  • Hard of hearing
  • Flattered by fashion compliments

Footnotes

  1. They are not above tripping an easy-looking target either.
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist 🍻 Barbeerian 🍻 Beer Cub 🍻 Beer Golem 🍻 Beer Mugger 🍻 Beerburglar 🍻 Beerkat 🍻 Beerserker 🍻 Beerwolf 🍻 Boartender 🍻 Brewpid the Reindeer 🍻 Diet Sprite 🍻 Drinkerella 🍻 Extra Dry Djinn 🍻 Methylated Spiritualist 🍻 Red Bull 🍻 Tea Rex 🍻 Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat 🐱 Bureau-cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther 🐱 Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur 🏋️ Boozerker 🏋️ Godbuster 🏋️ Thug-of-war 🏋️ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab 🍻 Beer-battered beer 🍻 Beer-scented soap 🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall 🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer 🍻 Bottle of holy ale 🍻 Can of ambrosia 🍻 Exclamation pint 🍻 “Free beer” ticket 🍻 Instant beer tablet 🍻 Pint of no return 🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork 🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly 🍻 Lion belch
Taverns All Inn 🍻 The Battle Toad 🍻 Caravanserai 🍻 Progress Bar 🍻 The Rumor Mill 🍻 The Sword & Sandal 🍻 The Whinery