Neferkitty

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Monsters of Godville
Neferkitty
Felis regiis
Neferkitty.jpg
Class Undead
Habitat Desert of Former Alkies, laps of human mummies
Description Cat shaped pile of bandages

The Neferkitty is an undead monster, more specifically, it's a cursed mummified cat. Its origins date back to the former Egoptian Empire, that was located in the Desert of Former Alkies near today's Egopolis.

History

The Neferkitty was a royal cat — a beloved pet of the empress Kleptopatra 🦅👁️🦁🏺☥☥⏳[1] the first ruler of the Snu-fru Dynasty (2613 - 2589 b.g.e.).

According to the translated papyri from Neferkitty's life, she spent quite a lot of time playing around the royal palace, breaking priceless vases[2] and scratching the royal throne.[3][4] There are also mentions of the empress Kleptopatra, a known kleptomaniac, occasionally blaming her cat for destroying valuables around the palace, only for the exact same objects to be found in Kleptopatra's chambers after her death.[5]

Neferkitty's outer sarcophagus. Carved stone, opals and powdered onyx.

The circumstances of Neferkitty's death are unknown. Having a lot of enemies in the royal palace, there are speculations that her death was a premeditated murder. A papyrus with a complicated text was found in her chamber along with the body, the only legible part of it today being "💁❓💀🐈".[6]

Neferkitty's afterlife servants. Wooden figurines with human blood and bandages.

The heartbroken empress had decided to have Neferkitty embalmed and mummified in accordance with ancient Egoptian funeral practices typical for the Snu-fru Dynasty. Neferkitty's burial chamber was carved in the sacred wall in the Triffids' Valley (formerly known as the Valley of the Blings) and decorated with scenes from Egoptian mythology and from Neferkitty's former life. The tomb was filled with generous equipment that was supposed to ensure Neferkitty a luxurious afterlife. The burial equipment included Neferkitty's favourite objects from her life, such as her beloved napping pillow, a paper bag and 2000 mummified mice.

The Neferkitty's tomb was discovered in (1956 g.e.) by one of the leading Egoptologists of that time, Vache Q. Picard. Vache was originally hoping to find the tomb of Kleptopatra herself, and when she found a perfectly sealed tomb with Kleptopatra's cartouche carved on the entrance she was most surprised to have found her cat's tomb instead.

Attributes

Diagram of a cat claw[7]

Strengths

  • Already dead. It's tough to kill it again.
  • Faster than you would have guessed.
  • Sharp claws.

Weaknesses

  • Fire. All that dried up bandages and flammable embalming fluid can light it up.
  • Nearby pointy twigs.
  • Mummified dogs.

References

  1. ↑ Unnamed speaker, The Papirii of the Reign of Kleptopatra, Long May She Reign In Glory In The Afterworld, Long May Her Name Be Spoken In Fear And Love By All The People Of The Land, O Glory Unto Her In Eternal Death As In Life, courtesy of Egopolis Institute of Anthropology. Catalogue number 346.739.342.
  2. ↑ Papyrus addressed to the empress from the highest priestess: "Your damned cat broke another of our sacred vessels. Could you please keep her out of the shrine?", courtesy of Egopolis Institute of Anthropology. Catalogue number 346.739.568.
  3. ↑ Reciepts for renovations of the royal throne.
  4. ↑ Order: One glorious throne. Made out of harder wood.
  5. ↑ Wilcox, Madeline J. (1985 g.e.) Famous Thieves of Godville History, Volume 3: 2600 - 2401 b.g.e.. Quirkytown Publications
  6. ↑ Scholars differ on the precise interpretation, but generally accepted translation of the leading Egoptologist, Vache Q. Picard is "Curiosity killed the cat."
  7. ↑ Lady de la Fossey, Dianne (1980 g.e.) A practical Manual to Zoology: How to avoid bites, stings and scratches. Unspecifiedistan University Press
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