List of Quests

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Achievements • Artifacts • Equipment • Monsters • Quests • Skills • TownsOmnibus List
Notice: game texts are not subject to Creative Commons license (due to the way they were initially submitted to the ideabox).

This is a list of available Quests in Godville, initially seeded by scanning approximately 35K Heroes & Heroines, with manual updates since.

All Quests have been linked, so you can tell by the Quest's color if a description exists ( Blue Text ) or not ( Red Text ). You are encouraged to add new entries to this list as they are encountered by your heroes, and to create or embellish the linked Quest description pages.

Quests
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P R S T U V W
Quest Type Quest Type
- A - <Top>
Accurately predict doomsday Achieve an epic fail epic
Acknowledge the elephant in the room Add insult to injury
Agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council Annoy the graveyard keeper until he blows his top off
Answer nature's call Apply for a Godville lifetime membership card
Apply for a lifetime Godville membership card Apply for a new monster-hunting license
Arrange a date between Burger King and Dairy Queen Arrange a date between the Burger King and Dairy Queen
Ask the right questions and get the right answers Assassinate an assassin in the act of assassinating another assassin
Assassinate the head of the monsters' labor union Attempt sobriety for just one quest
Attempt to believe it's not butter Attempt to crash reality
Attend a conference on mole-friendly digging techniques Attend a remedial class on questing
Attend an Alcoholics Anonymous for Heroes meeting Avenge own death
Avoid doing any work
- B - <Top>
Band the wing of a random fallen beast Banish the night and call it a day
Be in the right place at the right time Be the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time
Beat a fish in a drinking contest Beat around the bush
Beat both the tortoise and the hare in a race Beat the Devil in a fiddling contest
Become one with the force Become one with the universe epic
Become slightly more awesome Become someone else's imaginary friend
Become the umpteenth member of %random_guild% guild Become the umpteenth member of the guild %random_guild%
Bluff all the way through a quest Boldly go and take on a mini-quest mini
Boldly go where no one has gone before Boldly go where thousands have gone before
Break a sweat and then fix it Break a world record and try to fix it
Break off a deal with the devil Break on through to the other side
Break out of an infinite loop Break the Fourth Wall
Break the monotony of constant questing Break through the firewall
Brew a storm in a teacup Bridge the cultural gap
Bring a cutting remark to a punfight Bring sexy back once and for all
Bring sexy back, once and for all Bring two animals of every kind
Build a better mouse trap Build a bridge over troubled water
Build a food pyramid Build a gingerbread house for that harmless old lady
Build a raft out of toothpicks Build an igloo in the desert
Buy a goose that lays golden eggs and mold the eggs into golden bricks
- C - <Top>
<CENSORED> Calculate a snowball's chance in hell mini
Capture the flag Carve a cow out of a block of butter
Catch a falling star and save it for a rainy day Catch a fly with chopsticks
Catch a tiger by the tail Catch the worm before the early bird
Challenge Death to a chess game Challenge Death to a game of chess
Challenge Medusa to a staring contest Change a leopard's spots
Change the world, then change it back epic Chase that funny burning ball in the sky
Check if a phoenix will resurrect in a barrel of wine Check if every rose has a thorn
Chlorinate the fountain of youth Chop some sticks with chopsticks
Clean the window of opportunity Clean up the mess made during the previous quest
Clear the skeletons from the closet Clear the skeletons out of the closet
Climb every mountain and cross every stream epic Climb the social ladder to get god's beard epic
Climb the tallest beanstalk to have a bird's eye view of Godville epic Climb the widest mountain and sail the highest sea epic
Climb to the top of a family tree Collect 5 items for a random villager who is too lazy to do it himself
Collect monster head trophies for the temple Collect signatures to ban petitioning
Collect some oysters to make pearl jam Collect some pegasus feathers for a pillow
Collect two animals of every kind epic Come up with a better catch phrase
Compare apples to oranges Compile a list of quests that other heroes are doing
Complete a fool's errand Complete the mother of all quests epic
Complete the previous quest at a higher difficulty level Complete the previous quest backwards and in high heels
Confess love to a snowgirl Confess love to a snowman
Convert 360 liters of oxygen into carbon dioxide Convert 360 litres of oxygen into carbon dioxide
Convince a frog that it used to be a prince Convince a genie to switch to energy-saving lamps
Convince another hero to do the quest for me Convince another hero to do the quest for you
Convince the Heroes Union to launch a preemptive strike Convince the lemming not to jump
Convince the lemmings not to jump Convince the suicidal lemming not to jump
Cook up a recipe for disaster Count all the coins in a wishing well
Count all the coins in the wishing well Count the Lernaean Hydra's heads
Count the chickens before they hatch Count the grains of sand in an hourglass
Count the nails in the third front horseshoe of Sleipnir Count the stars in the sky
Create a level playing field Create holy water by boiling the hell out of it
Create the next best thing since sliced bread Cross all the hot buns
Cross the river and burn the bridge Crush twenty anthills
Cry a river and sail to the ocean epic Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it epic
Cry over spilled milk Cry over spilt milk
Cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring
- D - <Top>
Dance with the devil in the pale moonlight Debug an abacus
Decide if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about Defeat a goldfish in a staring competition
Defile the Augean stables Deliver a message in a bottle
Deliver some crisps to the IT-Shaman Deliver some sour gnomish beer to the dark elves
Deliver the elixir of youth to the maternity ward Deliver the emperor's new clothes
Deliver this cookie Demand a refund for a broken heart mini
Desert some dessert in the desert Determine exactly who's on first
Determine the longest distance between point A and point B mini Determine the terminal airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
Deviate from the norm Devise a plan to gain an upper hand
Devise a plan to gain the upper hand Die another day mini
Dig a tunnel to the other side of the world Dip a cookie in the milky way
Discover Victoria's secret Discover a way to get rid of cooties
Discover something that's easier done than said Discover the atomic number of the element of surprise
Discover the exact function of a rubber duck Discover the secret ingredient
Discover the sound of one hand clapping Discover what actually killed the cat
Discover what the gods are doing when they aren't paying attention to us epic Discover where the wild things are
Discover which witch is which Discover who framed Roger Rabbit
Discover who sits at the head of the Round Table Do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay
Do nothing until my next quest Do nothing until next quest
Do nothing until the next quest Don't complete this quest
Dot all the i's and cross all the t's Drag and drop a golden ring into the volcano
Dream a dream within a dream Drive a herd of cats from Dogville to Godville
Dunk a cookie in the milky way
- E - <Top>
Earn a Darwin award Eat a dog's homework
Educate the village idiot Empty a lake with a spoon
Establish an alibi just in case Establish how many fish there are left in the sea
Exchange an eye for an eye Experience a plot twist
Experience a plot-twist Explore a spooky castle standing on a cliff
Extend pet registration vet
- F - <Top>
Fact check a book of prophecies epic
Fall off the edge of insanity and climb back up Fear nothing but fear itself, and clowns mini
Feed and bathe a Mogwai after midnight Feed and bathe a gremlin after midnight
Ferry a goat, a wolf, and a head of lettuce across the river Fetch a bucket full of mercury for the local alchemist
Fetch a pail of water for Jack and Jill Fetch a pail of water from the nearest mirage
Fight fire with fire without getting burned Fight my way out of a wet paper bag
Fight the way out of a wet paper bag Figure out how time flies
Figure out what the heck is going on Figure out which one of these things is not like the other
Figure out why the person in the mirror is such a copycat Fill in a black hole
Fill the Den of Evil with monsters Fill the quest progress bar
Fill this quest's progress bar Finalize the Fantasy
Find 100 random objects hidden throughout Godville Find 13 remedies for triskaidekaphobia
Find Candy Mountain Find Happiness and ask her to drop by more often
Find a better megaphone for my deity Find a black cat in a dark room
Find a burning bush and talk to it Find a cause worth fighting for
Find a clean public restroom Find a complex solution to a simple problem
Find a crew small enough to sail a Ship-in-a-Bottle Find a crew small enough to sail a ship-in-a-bottle
Find a dead end and revive it Find a deaf man who's heard about a blind man seeing a legless man walk
Find a dozen fresh rooster eggs Find a gate to a perpendicular universe
Find a gateway to a perpendicular universe Find a ghost in the shell and perform a rite of exorcism
Find a guildmaster and beg him to enroll me into the %random_guild% guild Find a horse to trade for a kingdom
Find a level boss and defeat it mini Find a lost cause and offer directions
Find a lost soul and return it to its owner Find a monk in the mountains and ask him for a 'lotus pose' guidebook
Find a more mole-friendly way to dig Find a mountain of numbers and sum it
Find a mystical wardrobe which leads to a magic kingdom Find a person who weighs the same as a duck
Find a pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow Find a quest that doesn't involve work
Find a sheep in wolf's clothing Find a snow angel with no footprints around it
Find a spider that can spin a web of lies Find a square peg that fits into a round hole
Find a synonym for synonym Find a synonym for the word “synonym”
Find a waterfall and look behind it for hidden treasure Find a way to divide by zero
Find a way to put the toothpaste back into the tube Find a word that rhymes with purple
Find algebra's X and don't ask Y Find an immovable object and attack it with an unstoppable force
Find and hypnotize the hypnotoad Find and then tip the balance of power
Find half-full and half-empty glasses Find hay in a needle stack
Find more pages for the diary Find my lost marbles
Find out exactly who let the dogs out Find out for whom the bell tolls
Find out how a raven is like a writing desk Find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes
Find out how far the apple falls from the tree Find out how many drops of water fit into the ocean
Find out how many heroes it takes to change a lightbulb Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a lollipop
Find out how many milestones there are Find out how many pecks of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked
Find out how many quests there are Find out how many roads a man must walk down before he admits he is lost
Find out how many wrongs it takes to make a right Find out how much horsepower a pony has
Find out how much wood a woodchuck would chuck Find out how to appeal a notarized death certificate
Find out how to keep a fool occupied for a few hours Find out how to turn a golden brick into a pint of beer
Find out if a man really is what he eats Find out if a phoenix will resurrect in a barrel of wine
Find out if chocolate milk comes from brown cows Find out if one really is what one eats
Find out if rubber trees bounce Find out if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about
Find out if the moon is made of cheese Find out if the sky is falling
Find out if the truth is really out there Find out if the truth really is out there
Find out the real date of the end of the world Find out what Tooth Fairy is doing with all those teeth
Find out what a vacation is and take it by force, if necessary Find out what goes on behind closed doors
Find out what happens after all is said and done epic Find out what happens behind closed doors
Find out what the Tooth Fairy is doing with all those teeth Find out what the birds and bees actually get up to
Find out what the birds and bees are actually up to Find out what the speed of dark is
Find out what victory tastes like Find out what's beyond bed and bath
Find out what's not fair in love and war Find out where all the old diary entries go
Find out where heroes come from Find out where the grass is greener
Find out where the little birdie gets all its information Find out where the little birdie gets all its information from
Find out where the sun doesn't shine Find out who comes up with the quests
Find out who comes up with these silly quests Find out who, what, when, where, why, and how mini
Find out why a raven is like a writing desk Find out why lost things are always in the last place you look
Find out why nostalgia isn't what it used to be Find out why they removed the word 'gullible' from the dictionary
Find out why this quest feels like déjà vu Find out why tomorrow never comes
Find some food for thought Find some midnight oil and burn it
Find someone to agree to disagree with Find someone who knows the muffin man
Find something better to do Find something that duct tape won't fix
Find the “you are here“ sign in Godville Find the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything epic
Find the Bee's knees and give them back Find the Candy Mountain
Find the Fountain of Middle Age Find the Lost and Found box and return it to the mayor
Find the Porpoise of Life and offer it some fish Find the Sphinx's nose
Find the WMD in the neighboring kingdom Find the WMDs in the neighboring kingdom
Find the bee's knees and give them back Find the beginning of a circle
Find the best thing before sliced bread Find the best thing since sliced bread
Find the corner in the round room Find the difference between pie and pi
Find the essence of laughter Find the exception to every rule epic
Find the forest through all the trees Find the highway to hell
Find the hypotenuse of the Bermuda Triangle Find the itch that can't be scratched
Find the itch that you can't scratch Find the land of milk and honey
Find the last digit of pi Find the map to the long lost city of long lost maps
Find the middle of nowhere Find the missing piece of the puzzle
Find the most evil monster Find the oldest trick in the book and use it
Find the page not found Find the perfect grain of sand
Find the perimeter of the Koch Snowflake Find the point of no return and go past it
Find the price of a priceless moment Find the proof in the pudding
Find the questgiver and ask for another quest Find the square-root of an apple pie
Find the straw that broke the camel's back Find the strongest link in the chain and break it
Find the stuff dreams are made of Find the treasure of Big Whoop epic
Find the troll under the bridge and pay the toll Find the true meaning of Christmas
Find the volcano that all lava lamps come from Find the way out of a wet paper bag
Find the wit's end Find two identical snowflakes
Find where lightning strikes twice Find x
Findout whats not fair in love and war Finish a thousand-piece puzzle of a clear blue sky epic
Finish an everlasting gobstopper Finish last place in a backwards marathon
Finish one of those annoying slider puzzles Finish unfinished business
Fish for a red herring mini Fit Cerberus with flea collars
Fit a big ship into a tiny bottle Fix a dead pixel in the sky
Fix the hole in the ozone layer by using duct tape Fix the hole in the ozone layer using duct tape
Flatten the learning curve Flirt with danger while cheating on death
Flirt with disaster mini Flog a dead horse
Fold 1000 origami cranes Follow by example
Follow the golden brick road and ask the wizard for some brains Follow the sun to see where it sleeps at night
Follow the train of thought Force some battle trolls to accept a peace offering
Fulfill a self-fulfilling prophecy
- G - <Top>
Gain a new perspective Gather a search party to find a hero lost in thought
Gather a search party to help a hero who is lost in thought Gather enough monkeys in a room to reproduce the works of Shakespeare
Get %petname% to a vet for a medical check-up vet Get Jack out of the Box
Get Jack out of the box Get a jackhammer and remove a sword from a stone
Get a picture of an invisible man Get a water sample from the river Styx
Get a you-know-what for you-know-who Get acquainted with Charon the ferryman
Get the band back together Get the best of both worlds
Get the gold at the end of the rainbow Get the keys to the city and lock it
Get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow Get the snakes off the plane
Get to the end of the Endless Maze Give Medusa a cut and blow dry
Give up drinking Go back to the drawing board
Go back to the future Go back to the last savepoint
Go on a guilt trip Go on a wild goose chase
Go the extra mile Go there, do that, get the t-shirt mini
Go to the end of the Endless Maze Go where the wind never blows
Grant political asylum to the dethroned king from the neighbor country Grant political asylum to the dethroned king of a neighboring country
Grow a spine Grow a short story into a tall tale epic
Grow and harvest a money tree Guide a suicidal, easily-killed villager to safety
Gyre and gimble in the wabe
- H - <Top>
Hang out for a while in the Hanging Gardens Have a heated argument with a snowman
Help Little Bo Peep find her sheep Help a Lao Tzu fan find Tao
Help a Lao Tzu fan find the Tao Help a pig rebuild its straw house
Help a rolling stone gather moss Help an angel earn its wings mini
Help little bo peep find her sheep Help the keymaster meet the gatekeeper
Help the three little kittens find their mittens Hide a grail and see if someone finds it
Hide in plain sight Hitchhike to the other side of the galaxy
Hold my breath until the next quest Host a divine intervention
- I - <Top>
Identify a flying object Ignore sight, sound and smell, and navigate solely by taste
Imagine a world with no hypothetical questions Improve efficiency by streamlining the questing process
Increase the Quest total by one Increase the quest total by one
Inflate all the bubbles in a roll of bubble wrap Inform living dead that a zombie apocalypse has been postponed for one year
Insert tab A into slot B mini Invent a perpetual brake for a perpetual motion machine
Iron out the wrinkles in time
- J - <Top>
Jingle the bells all the way Join a society so secret that even they don't know they exist
Join the dark side and steal their cookies Journey there and back again epic
- K - <Top>
Keep 'em on their toes Kill a dragon barehanded
Kill all humans Kill ten boars
Kill two birds with one stone Kill two stones with one bird
Knock at Baldur's Gate and run away Knock on Death's door and run away
- L - <Top>
Laugh in the face of danger mini Laugh in the face of danger until it cries
Lay the foundations for an unfounded accusation Lead a horse to water and make it drink
Lead imaginary friends to an imaginary castle Learn how to bite my elbow
Learn how to spin straw into gold bricks Learn humility and then brag about it
Learn some magic from the wizards of the coast Learn something old, forget something new
Learn the true meaning of “irony” Learn to delay the inevitable
Learn to distinguish the small monsters from those that are far away Learn to dodge a lightning bolt
Learn to dodge lightning bolts Learn to draw a perfect circle
Learn to eat only one potato chip Learn to fly superhero style, fist-first
Learn to pat the head while rubbing the stomach Learn to read between the lines
Learn to ride a horse without training wheels Learn to snap a picture using photographic memory
Learn to spell 'live evil' backwards Learn to swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon
Learn to walk in a straight line Learn to win friends and influence people
Leave no stone unturned Leave the heroics to the experts
Leave this quest incomplete Let the cat out of the bag
Level Godville's playing field Limbo under the bar of common sense
Live long and prosper epic Live to tell about it mini
Live today as if there was no tomorrow Live today as if there were no tomorrow
Locate a fallen star to make a wish upon Locate and touch the G-man
Look a gift horse in the mouth Look at the stars and connect all the dots
Look for a new quest Look for hay in a needle stack
Look for love in all the wrong places mini Look for the New Sound
Loosen up some tied ends Lower the bar
- M - <Top>
Make a long story short Make a mountain out of a molehill
Make an appointment at a local cloister to learn how to access the astral plane Make an omelette without breaking any eggs
Make another one bite the dust Make crop circles on nearby farmland
Make ends meet Make lemonade with life's lemons
Make some steaks out of cannibal cows Make something out of nothing
Make sure all their base are belong to us Make the possible impossible
Make the world a better place epic Make uninformed decisions about misunderstood things
Make uninformed decisions about things you don't understand Map the dark side of the moon
Master the art of sneezing with eyes wide open Master the art of sneezing with my eyes open
Master the mysteriously powerful 'wax on wax off' technique Master the mysteriously powerful 'wax on, wax off' technique
Measure the depth of a bottomless pit Measure the depth of the bottomless pit
Measure the distance between each milestone Measure the distance from here to there
Meet an immovable object with an unstoppable force Moon a werewolf mini
Moonwalk through the valley of the shadow of death Mow the surrounding lawn
- N - <Top>
Negotiate a lower crossing fee with the troll under the bridge Not complete this quest
- O - <Top>
Observe the way a cookie crumbles Obtain unobtainium
Obtain unobtanium Orchestrate an unnecessarily complicated raid on a random guild's headquarters
Orchestrate an unnecessarily complicated raid on a rival guild's headquarters Organize an interspecies chess tournament
Outrun own shadow Outrun that persistent shadow
- P - <Top>
Pack a lifetime of excitement into a single day epic Paint a mile of the road green
Paint the grass on this side greener than the other side Paint the roses red
Paint the sky with stars Paint the town red
Paint the white roses red Part the sea of red tape
Pass a Turing test Pass the test of time epic
Pass the tutorial level Perfect the recipe for disaster
Perform acupuncture on a voodoo doll Perform an inventory check along the Chosen Ones' migration route
Perform stand-up comedy for a pack of hyenas Perform standup comedy to a pack of hyenas
Pick an ice fleck from the top of Sky Peak Pin the tail on the donkey
Place yardpebbles between the milestones epic Plan something spontaneous
Plant a tree for every monster killed Plant evidence in the monster's garden
Plant some shrubs to ward off the undead Plant something good and eternal
Play the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin Play the worlds saddest song on the worlds smallest violin
Play with the mice while the cat is away Please all of the people all of the time epic
Pluck a golden hair from the Devil's back and stay alive Poke Achilles' heel with a finger
Poke a sleeping dragon in the eye and run away Practice dentistry on a gift horse
Practice what no one preaches Preach to the choir
Prepare for the unexpected Protect the village from its mayor
Prove that bad things come in threes Prove that for every quest there is an equal and opposite request
Prove that lightning can strike the same place many times Prove that the other heroes' gods don't exist
Prove that the world is flat Prove the critics wrong
Provide the princess with a good night's sleep Pull a hat out of a rabbit
Push the envelope at the local post office Push the envelope to the local post office
Put a black hole into the middle of a donut Put all the eggs in one basket
Put an end to the Never-Ending Story Put one foot in front of the other
Put signposts on the road to nowhere Put the alphabet in numerical order
Put the cat back into the bag Put the laughter back in slaughter
Put the sign '100 miles to Godville' in the proper place Put the sign '100 milestones to Godville' in the proper place
Put the sword back into the stone Put the undead to rest in the graveyard of the Chosen Ones
- R - <Top>
Raise a family of dust bunnies Re-invent the wheel
Reach for the stars and retrieve one Reach for the stars and take one
Reach the light at the end of the tunnel Reach the middle of nowhere
Reach the pinnacle of human achievement Reach the unreachable
Reap and sow some wild oats Refuse to master reverse psychology
Rehearse a speech for world domination Reinvent the wheel
Reject reality and replace it with my own Reject reality and substitute it with my own
Reject reality and substitute with your own Release the flaming snowman from a snowglobe prison
Remember the location of the Forgotten Tower Remember to learn to forget
Remember what happened last night Reminisce about the good ol' days
Repaint the firewall Repair a broken dream
Repair that stupid water chip Repair the crack of dawn
Replace Adam's apple with a pear Replace this quest with a different one
Replenish the collection of bowling balls Request a re-quest of this quest
Rescue an agoraphobic dwarf from the wilderness Rescue the agoraphobic dwarf from the wilderness
Rescue the camel from the last straw Rescue the dragon from the princess
Rescue the dust bunnies caught in the lint trap Restock the dungeon for the next hero
Return an overdue library book Return junk mail to sender
Return junk mail to the sender Revive the Dead Sea epic
Rewrite the diary in invisible ink Ride a camel through the eye of a needle
Ring the bell curve Rip out a feather from a bald eagle's tail
Roll a rock up a hill Roll the snowman back to the North Pole before he becomes extinct
Rub someone the wrong way Ruffle some feathers
- S - <Top>
Sack the town but provide a generous severance package Sacrifice tradition on the altar of progress
Save Schrödinger's Cat, shoved by Maxwell's Demon into a Helmholtz resonator Save some time in a bottle
Save the world in the nearby village Save up enough to pay attention
Saw a leg off the periodic table Say the alphabet backwards while walking in a straight line
Scale the Cliffs of Insanity Scare a scarecrow
Sculpt a figure of speech Search for a polar bear in a snowstorm
See a falling star and make a wish See if the pen really is mightier than the sword
Seize a day and hold it for ransom Seize the day and hold it for ransom
Seize the day and let it go Sell sand to some desert nomads
Sell seashells by the seashore Sell ten donut holes on the black market
Send a young hero on a pointless quest Send in the clowns mini
Separate the red beans from the green beans Serve hot dogs at a vegan event mini
Set a liar's pants on fire Set a new standard in standard-setting
Set up a chain mail account Set up a zombie apocalypse
Settle old scores in new ways Settle the argument over whether it's duck season or rabbit season
Sew a stitch in time Sing all of “99 bottles of beer on the wall!”
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries Skate on thin ice
Slam a revolving door Slam the revolving door
Smooth out the wrinkles in time Snatch defeat from the jaws of victory
Sneakily follow that other hero on his quest, making sure he doesn't screw around Sneakily follow that other hero on his quest, to make sure he doesn't screw around
Solve a catch-22 in 21 easy steps Solve the Sphinx's Riddle
Spackle over a crack in the space-time continuum Spend a night in a haunted house
Spread blasphemies about all false gods Sprinkle some medical plants into the Aborigine's calumet
Sprinkle some medicinal plants into the aboriginal peace pipe Squeeze some blood from a stone
Stare at the monitor Start a contagious yawn that affects everyone
Start a fashion revolution Start a fight in the war room
Start a magic-beans-for-livestock exchange program Start at the end and work back to the beginning
Start at the end and work the way back to the beginning Start my own fan club
Start the %new_guild% guild in Godville Starve a cold and feed a fever
Stay alive for one entire quest Steal an impostor's identity
Steal someone's thunder Steal the silver lining from a dark cloud
Steal the silver lining off a dark cloud Step on every crack in the road between Godville and Deville
Stop a child from becoming an atheist Stop the fat lady from singing
Stop the song that never ends Store some time in a bottle
Strike an immovable object with an unstoppable force Subvert the standard paradigms of the fantasy genre
Succeed where all others have failed epic Summon an evil demon and tease it by calling it names and blowing raspberries
Summon an evil demon and tease it by calling it names and sticking out your tongue Supervise the annual guild spring cleaning
Survive the zombie apocalypse Sweep the desert
Swim in mainstream society Swim through a pool of sorrow and catch some waves of joy
- T - <Top>
Take a bite out of every piece of fruit in the Garden of Eden Take a break from questing and relax
Take a hike Take a long walk off a short pier
Take a lost kitten to the Temple of Bast Take a meteor shower
Take a swim in the Sea of Tranquility Take a time-out and sit in the corner
Take a trip down memory lane Take a walk on the wild side
Take an anger mismanagement class Take an underwater basket weaving class
Take back the night and get a refund Take candy from a baby
Take care of a Godville Administrator's egg until it hatches Take down the head of the monsters' labor union
Take early retirement and keep questing as a hobby Take early retirement, but keep questing as a hobby
Take holy orders Take one for the team
Take part in the search for the Holy Packet Take something from one guy and bring it to another guy for a reward
Take the Rosetta stone to the Tower of Babel Take the bull by the horns mini
Take the day off Take the little piggy all the way home
Take the moral high ground, by force if necessary Take time off for good behavior
Take two aspirin and quest again in the morning Talk the hind legs off a donkey
Talk to locals to figure out what to do next Talk to the locals to figure out what to do next
Teach Latin to pigs Teach a mime the official sign language of Godville
Teach a phoenix to play with fire Teach a pig to fly
Teach an elephant to forget Teach an elephant to forget things
Teach an old dog new tricks Teach chickens to use crosswalks
Teach pigs Latin Teach some pigs Latin
Teach the insomniac sheep to count jumping humans Teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
Teach these monsters some manners Tell the plumber that his princess is in another castle
Tempt fate with milk and cookies Tempt fate, with milk and cookies
Test the limits of an 'All-You-Can-Eat' buffet Test the limits of an 'all-you-can-eat' buffet
Thin the weak animals out of the herd Think of a witty quest idea
Tickle a dragon until it cries “uncle” Tickle a dragon until it cries uncle
Tie up the loose ends in string theory Tie up the loose ends in the string theory
Tip every cow in the village fields Train a cow to jump over the moon
Train a crouching tiger to find the hidden dragon Train a guide dog for the color blind
Train the quick brown fox to jump over lazy dogs Trap a mime in an invisible box
Travel back in time to prevent myself from starting this quest Travel east till get in the west epic
Travel east until ending up in the west epic Travel east until it turns into the west epic
Travel to the edge of the earth and try not to fall off of it Travel to the field of dreams and wake everyone up
Travel up a creek without a paddle Tread water in a frozen lake
Tread water on a frozen lake Triple-cross a double-crosser
Try every trick in the book epic Try to cash a reality check
Try to fail and succeed Try to look busy
Try to shake the feeling of being watched Turn over a new leaf
- U - <Top>
Unify quantum mechanics with relativity Unlearn what has been learned epic
Unscramble an egg Unsolve a generic mystery
Use the means to justify the end
- V - <Top>
Venture into a black hole and turn on the light Visit enough signs to learn sign language
- W - <Top>
Wait for the cows to come home Wake someone who sleeps with the fishes mini
Wake the dead with breakfast in bed Walk halfway around the world, then give up and head back
Walk halfway round the world, then give up and head back Walk the entire length of the information highway
Walk through a Boolean gate Walk to Godville University and back, uphill both ways
Warm all Godville's benches epic Warm all of Godville's benches epic
Waste time productively Watch a cup of water evaporate
Watch the grass grow Watch this quest complete itself
Win a dwarven drinking contest Win a freestyle canoe dancing competition
Win a game of croquet against the queen of hearts Win a game of hide and seek against the invisible man
Win a staring contest against a statue Win a staring contest with a statue
Win second place in a beauty contest Win second prize in a beauty contest
Write a holy book Write a summary of the dictionary
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