Quests

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P R S T U V W

Quest 
Type 
Cnt

Quest 
Type 
Cnt

 A  
<Top>

Accurately predict doomsday 

34

Achieve an epic fail 
epic 
130

Acknowledge the elephant in the room 

23

Add insult to injury 

38

Agree on a digfree zone with the leader of the mole council 

31

Annoy the graveyard keeper until he blows his top off 

33

Answer nature's call 

54

Apply for a Godville lifetime membership card 

39

Apply for a lifetime Godville membership card 

1

Apply for a new monsterhunting license 

71

Arrange a date between Burger King and Dairy Queen 

35

Arrange a date between the Burger King and Dairy Queen 

3

Ask the right questions and get the right answers 

27

Assassinate an assassin in the act of assassinating another assassin 

37

Assassinate the head of the monsters' labor union 

8

Attempt sobriety for just one quest 

33

Attempt to believe it's not butter 

43

Attempt to crash reality 

40

Attend a conference on molefriendly digging techniques 

13

Attend a remedial class on questing 

38

Attend an Alcoholics Anonymous for Heroes meeting 

37

Avenge own death 

28

Avoid doing any work 

37

 B  
<Top>

Band the wing of a random fallen beast 

41

Banish the night and call it a day 

38

Be in the right place at the right time 

41

Be the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time 

34

Beat a fish in a drinking contest 

35

Beat around the bush 

35

Beat both the tortoise and the hare in a race 

35

Beat the Devil in a fiddling contest 

41

Become one with the force 

45

Become one with the universe 
epic 
127

Become slightly more awesome 

28

Become someone else's imaginary friend 

40

Become the umpteenth member of %random_guild% guild 

3

Become the umpteenth member of the guild %random_guild% 

3903

Bluff all the way through a quest 

33

Boldly go and take on a miniquest 
mini 
3

Boldly go where no one has gone before 

57

Boldly go where thousands have gone before 

36

Break a sweat and then fix it 

35

Break a world record and try to fix it 

61

Break off a deal with the devil 

37

Break on through to the other side 

37

Break out of an infinite loop 

37

Break the Fourth Wall 

44

Break the monotony of constant questing 

37

Break through the firewall 

37

Brew a storm in a teacup 

35

Bridge the cultural gap 

33

Bring a cutting remark to a punfight 

46

Bring sexy back once and for all 

35

Bring sexy back, once and for all 

3

Bring two animals of every kind 

3

Build a better mouse trap 

37

Build a bridge over troubled water 

37

Build a food pyramid 

40

Build a gingerbread house for that harmless old lady 

46

Build a raft out of toothpicks 

31

Build an igloo in the desert 

36

Buy a goose that lays golden eggs and mold the eggs into golden bricks 

41

 C  
<Top>

<CENSORED> 

44

Calculate a snowball's chance in hell 
mini 
1

Capture the flag 

39

Carve a cow out of a block of butter 

25

Catch a falling star and save it for a rainy day 

32

Catch a fly with chopsticks 

46

Catch a tiger by the tail 

48

Catch the worm before the early bird 

65

Challenge Death to a chess game 

2

Challenge Death to a game of chess 

41

Challenge Medusa to a staring contest 

49

Change a leopard's spots 

47

Change the world, then change it back 
epic 
271

Chase that funny burning ball in the sky 

40

Check if a phoenix will resurrect in a barrel of wine 

5

Check if every rose has a thorn 

51

Chlorinate the fountain of youth 

30

Chop some sticks with chopsticks 

44

Clean the window of opportunity 

27

Clean up the mess made during the previous quest 

46

Clear the skeletons from the closet 

10

Clear the skeletons out of the closet 

39

Climb every mountain and cross every stream 
epic 
133

Climb the social ladder to get god's beard 
epic 
129

Climb the tallest beanstalk to have a bird's eye view of Godville 
epic 
30

Climb the tallest beanstalk to have a bird'seye view of Godville 
epic 
93

Climb to the top of a family tree 

33

Collect 5 items for a random villager who is too lazy to do it himself 

30

Collect monster head trophies for the temple 

5

Collect signatures to ban petitioning 

48

Collect some oysters to make pearl jam 

44

Collect some pegasus feathers for a pillow 

39

Collect two animals of every kind 
epic 
158

Come up with a better catch phrase 

31

Compare apples to oranges 

44

Compile a list of quests that other heroes are doing 

31

Complete a fool's errand 

40

Complete the mother of all quests 
epic 
50

Complete the previous quest at a higher difficulty level 

34

Complete the previous quest backwards and in high heels 

28

Confess love to a snowgirl 

9

Confess love to a snowman 

1

Convert 360 liters of oxygen into carbon dioxide 

40

Convert 360 litres of oxygen into carbon dioxide 

1

Convince a frog that it used to be a prince 

29

Convince a genie to switch to energysaving lamps 

30

Convince another hero to do the quest for me 

50

Convince another hero to do the quest for you 

4

Convince the Heroes Union to launch a preemptive strike 

25

Convince the lemming not to jump 

1

Convince the lemmings not to jump 

43

Convince the suicidal lemming not to jump 

29

Cook up a recipe for disaster 

37

Count all the coins in a wishing well 

33

Count all the coins in the wishing well 

6

Count the Lernaean Hydra's heads 

48

Count the chickens before they hatch 

40

Count the grains of sand in an hourglass 

46

Count the nails in the third front horseshoe of Sleipnir 

33

Count the stars in the sky 

40

Create a level playing field 

23

Create holy water by boiling the hell out of it 

31

Create the next best thing since sliced bread 

52

Cross all the hot buns 

55

Cross the river and burn the bridge 

43

Crush twenty anthills 

42

Cry a river and sail to the ocean 
epic 
166

Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it 
epic 
124

Cry over spilled milk 

6

Cry over spilt milk 

31

Cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring 

36

 D  
<Top>

Dance with the devil in the pale moonlight 

51

Debug an abacus 

38

Decide if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about 

1

Defeat a goldfish in a staring competition 

42

Defile the Augean stables 

44

Deliver a message in a bottle 

35

Deliver some crisps to the ITShaman 

56

Deliver some sour gnomish beer to the dark elves 

34

Deliver the elixir of youth to the maternity ward 

33

Deliver the emperor's new clothes 

46

Deliver this cookie 

44

Demand a refund for a broken heart 
mini 
2

Desert some dessert in the desert 

26

Determine exactly who's on first 

54

Determine the longest distance between point A and point B 
mini 
6

Determine the terminal airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow 

45

Deviate from the norm 

26

Devise a plan to gain an upper hand 

1

Devise a plan to gain the upper hand 

37

Die another day 
mini 
2

Dig a tunnel to the other side of the world 

41

Dip a cookie in the milky way 

4

Discover Victoria's secret 

50

Discover a way to get rid of cooties 

37

Discover something that's easier done than said 

40

Discover the atomic number of the element of surprise 

31

Discover the exact function of a rubber duck 

25

Discover the secret ingredient 

25

Discover the sound of one hand clapping 

52

Discover what actually killed the cat 

39

Discover what the gods are doing when they aren't paying attention to us 
epic 
142

Discover where the wild things are 

32

Discover which witch is which 

40

Discover who framed Roger Rabbit 

38

Discover who sits at the head of the Round Table 

36

Do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay 

45

Do nothing until my next quest 

2

Do nothing until next quest 

1

Do nothing until the next quest 

29

Don't complete this quest 

1

Dot all the i's and cross all the t's 

41

Drag and drop a golden ring into the volcano 

45

Dream a dream within a dream 

40

Drive a herd of cats from Dogville to Godville 

21

Dunk a cookie in the milky way 

21

 E  
<Top>

Earn a Darwin award 

45

Eat a dog's homework 

36

Educate the village idiot 

43

Empty a lake with a spoon 

50

Establish an alibi just in case 

35

Establish how many fish there are left in the sea 

33

Exchange an eye for an eye 

45

Experience a plot twist 

32

Experience a plottwist 

8

Explore a spooky castle standing on a cliff 

44

Extend pet registration 
vet 
850

 F  
<Top>

Fall off the edge of insanity and climb back up 

39

Fear nothing but fear itself, and clowns 
mini 
5

Feed and bathe a Mogwai after midnight 

2

Feed and bathe a gremlin after midnight 

41

Ferry a goat, a wolf, and a head of lettuce across the river 

42

Fetch a bucket full of mercury for the local alchemist 

48

Fetch a pail of water for Jack and Jill 

31

Fetch a pail of water from the nearest mirage 

44

Fight fire with fire without getting burned 

34

Fight my way out of a wet paper bag 

2

Fight the way out of a wet paper bag 

9

Figure out how time flies 

34

Figure out what the heck is going on 

91

Figure out which one of these things is not like the other 

29

Figure out why the person in the mirror is such a copycat 

45

Fill in a black hole 

30

Fill the Den of Evil with monsters 

33

Fill the quest progress bar 

1

Fill this quest's progress bar 

54

Finalize the Fantasy 

38

Find 100 random objects hidden throughout Godville 

49

Find 13 remedies for triskaidekaphobia 

34

Find Candy Mountain 

46

Find Happiness and ask her to drop by more often 

42

Find a better megaphone for my deity 

10

Find a black cat in a dark room 

50

Find a burning bush and talk to it 

51

Find a cause worth fighting for 

30

Find a clean public restroom 

28

Find a complex solution to a simple problem 

35

Find a crew small enough to sail a ShipinaBottle 

1

Find a crew small enough to sail a shipinabottle 

33

Find a dead end and revive it 

27

Find a deaf man who's heard about a blind man seeing a legless man walk 

34

Find a dozen fresh rooster eggs 

40

Find a gate to a perpendicular universe 

3

Find a gateway to a perpendicular universe 

43

Find a ghost in the shell and perform a rite of exorcism 

53

Find a guildmaster and beg him to enroll me into the %random_guild% guild 

5

Find a horse to trade for a kingdom 

29

Find a level boss and defeat it 
mini 
4

Find a lost cause and offer directions 

26

Find a lost soul and return it to its owner 

30

Find a monk in the mountains and ask him for a 'lotus pose' guidebook 

43

Find a more molefriendly way to dig 

25

Find a mountain of numbers and sum it 

28

Find a mystical wardrobe which leads to a magic kingdom 

33

Find a person who weighs the same as a duck 

52

Find a pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow 

49

Find a quest that doesn't involve work 

27

Find a sheep in wolf's clothing 

41

Find a snow angel with no footprints around it 

22

Find a spider that can spin a web of lies 

36

Find a square peg that fits into a round hole 

46

Find a synonym for synonym 

2

Find a synonym for the word “synonym” 

37

Find a waterfall and look behind it for hidden treasure 

39

Find a way to divide by zero 

49

Find a way to put the toothpaste back into the tube 

54

Find a word that rhymes with purple 

42

Find algebra's X and don't ask Y 

35

Find an immovable object and attack it with an unstoppable force 

1

Find and hypnotize the hypnotoad 

37

Find and then tip the balance of power 

28

Find halffull and halfempty glasses 

32

Find hay in a needle stack 

41

Find more pages for the diary 

38

Find my lost marbles 

12

Find out exactly who let the dogs out 

37

Find out for whom the bell tolls 

40

Find out how a raven is like a writing desk 

52

Find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes 

46

Find out how far the apple falls from the tree 

34

Find out how many drops of water fit into the ocean 

27

Find out how many heroes it takes to change a lightbulb 

45

Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a lollipop 

44

Find out how many milestones there are 

41

Find out how many pecks of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked 

38

Find out how many quests there are 

29

Find out how many roads a man must walk down before he admits he is lost 

34

Find out how many wrongs it takes to make a right 

34

Find out how much horsepower a pony has 

25

Find out how much wood a woodchuck would chuck 

41

Find out how to appeal a notarized death certificate 

32

Find out how to keep a fool occupied for a few hours 

51

Find out how to turn a golden brick into a pint of beer 

50

Find out if a man really is what he eats 

2

Find out if a phoenix will resurrect in a barrel of wine 

40

Find out if chocolate milk comes from brown cows 

29

Find out if one really is what one eats 

29

Find out if rubber trees bounce 

40

Find out if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about 

41

Find out if the moon is made of cheese 

55

Find out if the sky is falling 

30

Find out if the truth is really out there 

1

Find out if the truth really is out there 

29

Find out the real date of the end of the world 

34

Find out what Tooth Fairy is doing with all those teeth 

2

Find out what a vacation is and take it by force, if necessary 

20

Find out what goes on behind closed doors 

31

Find out what happens after all is said and done 
epic 
159

Find out what happens behind closed doors 

38

Find out what the Tooth Fairy is doing with all those teeth 

42

Find out what the birds and bees actually get up to 

2

Find out what the birds and bees are actually up to 

42

Find out what the speed of dark is 

41

Find out what victory tastes like 

34

Find out what's beyond bed and bath 

40

Find out what's not fair in love and war 

39

Find out where all the old diary entries go 

55

Find out where heroes come from 

42

Find out where the grass is greener 

42

Find out where the little birdie gets all its information 

23

Find out where the little birdie gets all its information from 

10

Find out where the sun doesn't shine 

44

Find out who comes up with the quests 

5

Find out who comes up with these silly quests 

30

Find out who, what, when, where, why, and how 
mini 
3

Find out why a raven is like a writing desk 

1

Find out why lost things are always in the last place you look 

25

Find out why nostalgia isn't what it used to be 

17

Find out why they removed the word 'gullible' from the dictionary 

28

Find out why this quest feels like déjà vu 

21

Find out why tomorrow never comes 

31

Find some food for thought 

47

Find some midnight oil and burn it 

27

Find someone to agree to disagree with 

44

Find someone who knows the muffin man 

40

Find something better to do 

39

Find something that duct tape won't fix 

55

Find the “you are here“ sign in Godville 

28

Find the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything 
epic 
144

Find the Bee's knees and give them back 

2

Find the Candy Mountain 

1

Find the Fountain of Middle Age 

37

Find the Lost and Found box and return it to the mayor 

40

Find the Porpoise of Life and offer it some fish 

32

Find the Sphinx's nose 

39

Find the WMD in the neighboring kingdom 

5

Find the WMDs in the neighboring kingdom 

23

Find the bee's knees and give them back 

45

Find the beginning of a circle 

38

Find the best thing before sliced bread 

2

Find the best thing since sliced bread 

59

Find the corner in the round room 

34

Find the difference between pie and pi 

34

Find the essence of laughter 

44

Find the exception to every rule 
epic 
126

Find the forest through all the trees 

29

Find the highway to hell 

52

Find the hypotenuse of the Bermuda Triangle 

34

Find the itch that can't be scratched 

24

Find the itch that you can't scratch 

7

Find the land of milk and honey 

33

Find the last digit of pi 

48

Find the map to the long lost city of long lost maps 

33

Find the middle of nowhere 

36

Find the missing piece of the puzzle 

45

Find the most evil monster 

3

Find the oldest trick in the book and use it 

41

Find the page not found 

35

Find the perfect grain of sand 

44

Find the perimeter of the Koch Snowflake 

32

Find the point of no return and go past it 

41

Find the price of a priceless moment 

54

Find the proof in the pudding 

35

Find the questgiver and ask for another quest 

39

Find the squareroot of an apple pie 

52

Find the straw that broke the camel's back 

50

Find the strongest link in the chain and break it 

30

Find the stuff dreams are made of 

39

Find the treasure of Big Whoop 
epic 
141

Find the troll under the bridge and pay the toll 

49

Find the true meaning of Christmas 

34

Find the volcano that all lava lamps come from 

32

Find the way out of a wet paper bag 

41

Find the wit's end 

39

Find two identical snowflakes 

13

Find where lightning strikes twice 

36

Find x 

45

Findout whats not fair in love and war 

1

Finish a thousandpiece puzzle of a clear blue sky 
epic 
125

Finish an everlasting gobstopper 

44

Finish last place in a backwards marathon 

42

Finish one of those annoying slider puzzles 

34

Finish unfinished business 

51

Fish for a red herring 
mini 
2

Fit Cerberus with flea collars 

33

Fit a big ship into a tiny bottle 

36

Fix a dead pixel in the sky 

52

Fix the hole in the ozone layer by using duct tape 

50

Fix the hole in the ozone layer using duct tape 

4

Flatten the learning curve 

32

Flirt with danger while cheating on death 

23

Flirt with disaster 
mini 
3

Flog a dead horse 

31

Fold 1000 origami cranes 

30

Follow by example 

42

Follow the golden brick road and ask the wizard for some brains 

41

Follow the sun to see where it sleeps at night 

41

Follow the train of thought 

44

Force some battle trolls to accept a peace offering 

42

Fulfill a selffulfilling prophecy 

42

 G  
<Top>

Gain a new perspective 

39

Gather a search party to find a hero lost in thought 

38

Gather a search party to help a hero who is lost in thought 

4

Gather enough monkeys in a room to reproduce the works of Shakespeare 

65

Get %petname% to a vet for a medical checkup 
vet 
7

Get Jack out of the Box 

1

Get Jack out of the box 

39

Get a jackhammer and remove a sword from a stone 

33

Get a picture of an invisible man 

35

Get a water sample from the river Styx 

29

Get a youknowwhat for youknowwho 

43

Get acquainted with Charon the ferryman 

44

Get the band back together 

69

Get the best of both worlds 

40

Get the gold at the end of the rainbow 

2

Get the keys to the city and lock it 

50

Get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow 

4

Get the snakes off the plane 

42

Get to the end of the Endless Maze 

47

Give Medusa a cut and blow dry 

30

Give up drinking 

31

Go back to the drawing board 

42

Go back to the future 

30

Go back to the last savepoint 

39

Go on a guilt trip 

43

Go on a wild goose chase 

44

Go the extra mile 

43

Go there, do that, get the tshirt 
mini 
2

Go to the end of the Endless Maze 

2

Go where the wind never blows 

48

Grant political asylum to the dethroned king from the neighbor country 

1

Grant political asylum to the dethroned king of a neighboring country 

42

Grow a spine 

40

Grow and harvest a money tree 

32

Guide a suicidal, easilykilled villager to safety 

44

Gyre and gimble in the wabe 

37

 H  
<Top>

Hang out for a while in the Hanging Gardens 

44

Have a heated argument with a snowman 

3

Help Little Bo Peep find her sheep 

21

Help a Lao Tzu fan find Tao 

1

Help a Lao Tzu fan find the Tao 

53

Help a pig rebuild its straw house 

37

Help a rolling stone gather moss 

32

Help an angel earn its wings 
mini 
2

Help little bo peep find her sheep 

5

Help the keymaster meet the gatekeeper 

36

Help the three little kittens find their mittens 

26

Hide a grail and see if someone finds it 

13

Hide in plain sight 

25

Hitchhike to the other side of the galaxy 

41

Hold my breath until the next quest 

6

Host a divine intervention 

27

 I  
<Top>

Identify a flying object 

39

Ignore sight, sound and smell, and navigate solely by taste 

33

Imagine a world with no hypothetical questions 

29

Improve efficiency by streamlining the questing process 

49

Increase the Quest total by one 

4

Increase the quest total by one 

33

Inflate all the bubbles in a roll of bubble wrap 

37

Inform living dead that a zombie apocalypse has been postponed for one year 

5

Insert tab A into slot B 
mini 
2

Invent a perpetual brake for a perpetual motion machine 

38

Iron out the wrinkles in time 

33

 J  
<Top>

Jingle the bells all the way 

3

Join a society so secret that even they don't know they exist 

28

Join the dark side and steal their cookies 

12

Journey there and back again 
epic 
127

 K  
<Top>

Keep 'em on their toes 

35

Kill a dragon barehanded 

39

Kill all humans 

7

Kill ten boars 

57

Kill two birds with one stone 

38

Kill two stones with one bird 

1

Knock at Baldur's Gate and run away 

45

Knock on Death's door and run away 

42

 L  
<Top>

Laugh in the face of danger 
mini 
1

Laugh in the face of danger until it cries 

40

Lay the foundations for an unfounded accusation 

39

Lead a horse to water and make it drink 

33

Lead imaginary friends to an imaginary castle 

51

Learn how to bite my elbow 

6

Learn how to spin straw into gold bricks 

33

Learn humility and then brag about it 

51

Learn some magic from the wizards of the coast 

43

Learn something old, forget something new 

31

Learn the true meaning of “irony” 

39

Learn to delay the inevitable 

33

Learn to distinguish the small monsters from those that are far away 

38

Learn to dodge a lightning bolt 

3

Learn to dodge lightning bolts 

40

Learn to draw a perfect circle 

47

Learn to eat only one potato chip 

34

Learn to fly superhero style, fistfirst 

47

Learn to pat the head while rubbing the stomach 

46

Learn to read between the lines 

53

Learn to ride a horse without training wheels 

34

Learn to snap a picture using photographic memory 

32

Learn to spell 'live evil' backwards 

33

Learn to swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon 

33

Learn to walk in a straight line 

48

Learn to win friends and influence people 

46

Leave no stone unturned 

34

Leave the heroics to the experts 

34

Leave this quest incomplete 

41

Let the cat out of the bag 

41

Level Godville's playing field 

37

Limbo under the bar of common sense 

28

Live to tell about it 
mini 
1

Live today as if there was no tomorrow 

9

Live today as if there were no tomorrow 

42

Locate a fallen star to make a wish upon 

36

Locate and touch the Gman 

34

Look a gift horse in the mouth 

3

Look at the stars and connect all the dots 

48

Look for a new quest 

67

Look for hay in a needle stack 

32

Look for love in all the wrong places 
mini 
2

Look for the New Sound 

1

Loosen up some tied ends 

39

Lower the bar 

37

 M  
<Top>

Make a long story short 

31

Make a mountain out of a molehill 

41

Make an appointment at a local cloister to learn how to access the astral plane 

42

Make an omelette without breaking any eggs 

39

Make another one bite the dust 

37

Make crop circles on nearby farmland 

38

Make ends meet 

48

Make lemonade with life's lemons 

28

Make some steaks out of cannibal cows 

57

Make something out of nothing 

50

Make sure all their base are belong to us 

16

Make the possible impossible 

29

Make the world a better place 
epic 
62

Make uninformed decisions about misunderstood things 

26

Make uninformed decisions about things you don't understand 

3

Map the dark side of the moon 

43

Master the art of sneezing with eyes wide open 

38

Master the art of sneezing with my eyes open 

5

Master the mysteriously powerful 'wax on wax off' technique 

6

Master the mysteriously powerful 'wax on, wax off' technique 

41

Measure the depth of a bottomless pit 

32

Measure the depth of the bottomless pit 

10

Measure the distance between each milestone 

34

Measure the distance from here to there 

50

Meet an immovable object with an unstoppable force 

41

Moon a werewolf 
mini 
1

Moonwalk through the valley of the shadow of death 

34

Mow the surrounding lawn 

47

 N  
<Top>

Negotiate a lower crossing fee with the troll under the bridge 

35

Not complete this quest 

1

 O  
<Top>

Observe the way a cookie crumbles 

45

Obtain unobtainium 

31

Obtain unobtanium 

16

Orchestrate an unnecessarily complicated raid on a random guild's headquarters 

15

Orchestrate an unnecessarily complicated raid on a rival guild's headquarters 

15

Organize an interspecies chess tournament 

38

Outrun own shadow 

1

Outrun that persistent shadow 

41

 P  
<Top>

Pack a lifetime of excitement into a single day 
epic 
95

Paint a mile of the road green 

44

Paint the grass on this side greener than the other side 

28

Paint the roses red 

1

Paint the sky with stars 

47

Paint the town red 

49

Paint the white roses red 

36

Part the sea of red tape 

33

Pass a Turing test 

37

Pass the test of time 
epic 
172

Pass the tutorial level 

46

Perfect the recipe for disaster 

30

Perform acupuncture on a voodoo doll 

68

Perform an inventory check along the Chosen Ones' migration route 

49

Perform standup comedy for a pack of hyenas 

72

Perform standup comedy to a pack of hyenas 

3

Pick an ice fleck from the top of Sky Peak 

38

Pin the tail on the donkey 

45

Place yardpebbles between the milestones 
epic 
124

Plan something spontaneous 

38

Plant a tree for every monster killed 

29

Plant evidence in the monster's garden 

40

Plant some shrubs to ward off the undead 

43

Plant something good and eternal 

45

Play the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin 

46

Play the worlds saddest song on the worlds smallest violin 

1

Play with the mice while the cat is away 

37

Please all of the people all of the time 
epic 
46

Pluck a golden hair from the Devil's back and stay alive 

33

Poke Achilles' heel with a finger 

43

Poke a sleeping dragon in the eye and run away 

35

Practice dentistry on a gift horse 

42

Practice what no one preaches 

27

Preach to the choir 

36

Prepare for the unexpected 

37

Protect the village from its mayor 

40

Prove that bad things come in threes 

34

Prove that for every quest there is an equal and opposite request 

24

Prove that lightning can strike the same place many times 

35

Prove that the other heroes' gods don't exist 

30

Prove that the world is flat 

42

Prove the critics wrong 

30

Provide the princess with a good night's sleep 

39

Pull a hat out of a rabbit 

46

Push the envelope at the local post office 

32

Push the envelope to the local post office 

4

Put a black hole into the middle of a donut 

25

Put all the eggs in one basket 

34

Put an end to the NeverEnding Story 

46

Put one foot in front of the other 

41

Put signposts on the road to nowhere 

43

Put the alphabet in numerical order 

29

Put the cat back into the bag 

44

Put the laughter back in slaughter 

29

Put the sign '100 miles to Godville' in the proper place 

3

Put the sign '100 milestones to Godville' in the proper place 

35

Put the sword back into the stone 

32

Put the undead to rest in the graveyard of the Chosen Ones 

39

 R  
<Top>

Raise a family of dust bunnies 

49

Reinvent the wheel 

1

Reach for the stars and retrieve one 

1

Reach for the stars and take one 

35

Reach the light at the end of the tunnel 

38

Reach the middle of nowhere 

9

Reach the pinnacle of human achievement 

35

Reach the unreachable 

44

Reap and sow some wild oats 

29

Refuse to master reverse psychology 

72

Rehearse a speech for world domination 

50

Reinvent the wheel 

37

Reject reality and replace it with my own 

1

Reject reality and substitute it with my own 

1

Reject reality and substitute with your own 

1

Release the flaming snowman from a snowglobe prison 

3

Remember the location of the Forgotten Tower 

40

Remember to learn to forget 

39

Remember what happened last night 

24

Reminisce about the good ol' days 

26

Repaint the firewall 

43

Repair a broken dream 

39

Repair that stupid water chip 

31

Repair the crack of dawn 

28

Replace Adam's apple with a pear 

38

Replace this quest with a different one 

35

Replenish the collection of bowling balls 

48

Request a request of this quest 

30

Rescue an agoraphobic dwarf from the wilderness 

45

Rescue the agoraphobic dwarf from the wilderness 

2

Rescue the camel from the last straw 

25

Rescue the dragon from the princess 

31

Rescue the dust bunnies caught in the lint trap 

39

Restock the dungeon for the next hero 

34

Return an overdue library book 

47

Return junk mail to sender 

19

Return junk mail to the sender 

24

Revive the Dead Sea 
epic 
127

Rewrite the diary in invisible ink 

46

Ride a camel through the eye of a needle 

54

Ring the bell curve 

32

Rip out a feather from a bald eagle's tail 

44

Roll a rock up a hill 

40

Roll the snowman back to the North Pole before he becomes extinct 

4

Rub someone the wrong way 

55

Ruffle some feathers 

39

 S  
<Top>

Sack the town but provide a generous severance package 

29

Sacrifice tradition on the altar of progress 

31

Save Schrödinger's Cat, shoved by Maxwell's Demon into a Helmholtz resonator 

39

Save some time in a bottle 

35

Save the world in the nearby village 

39

Save up enough to pay attention 

44

Saw a leg off the periodic table 

39

Say the alphabet backwards while walking in a straight line 

37

Scale the Cliffs of Insanity 

1

Scare a scarecrow 

46

Sculpt a figure of speech 

34

Search for a polar bear in a snowstorm 

3

See a falling star and make a wish 

35

See if the pen really is mightier than the sword 

44

Seize a day and hold it for ransom 

1

Seize the day and hold it for ransom 

38

Seize the day and let it go 

32

Sell sand to some desert nomads 

59

Sell seashells by the seashore 

50

Sell ten donut holes on the black market 

37

Send a young hero on a pointless quest 

13

Send in the clowns 
mini 
1

Separate the red beans from the green beans 

51

Serve hot dogs at a vegan event 
mini 
2

Set a liar's pants on fire 

30

Set a new standard in standardsetting 

42

Set up a chain mail account 

43

Set up a zombie apocalypse 

4

Settle old scores in new ways 

33

Settle the argument over whether it's duck season or rabbit season 

35

Sew a stitch in time 

35

Sing all of “99 bottles of beer on the wall!” 

42

Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries 

23

Skate on thin ice 

44

Slam a revolving door 

35

Slam the revolving door 

6

Smooth out the wrinkles in time 

35

Snatch defeat from the jaws of victory 

40

Sneakily follow that other hero on his quest, making sure he doesn't screw around 

3

Sneakily follow that other hero on his quest, to make sure he doesn't screw around 

25

Solve a catch22 in 21 easy steps 

32

Solve the Sphinx's Riddle 

39

Spackle over a crack in the spacetime continuum 

36

Spend a night in a haunted house 

35

Spread blasphemies about all false gods 

45

Sprinkle some medical plants into the Aborigine's calumet 

1

Sprinkle some medicinal plants into the aboriginal peace pipe 

34

Squeeze some blood from a stone 

38

Stare at the monitor 

1

Start a contagious yawn that affects everyone 

32

Start a fashion revolution 

42

Start a fight in the war room 

40

Start a magicbeansforlivestock exchange program 

33

Start at the end and work back to the beginning 

20

Start at the end and work the way back to the beginning 

17

Start my own fan club 

29

Start the %new_guild% guild in Godville 

10

Starve a cold and feed a fever 

33

Stay alive for one entire quest 

33

Steal an impostor's identity 

28

Steal someone's thunder 

43

Steal the silver lining from a dark cloud 

30

Steal the silver lining off a dark cloud 

3

Step on every crack in the road between Godville and Deville 

38

Stop a child from becoming an atheist 

24

Stop the fat lady from singing 

38

Stop the song that never ends 

33

Store some time in a bottle 

1

Strike an immovable object with an unstoppable force 

40

Subvert the standard paradigms of the fantasy genre 

48

Succeed where all others have failed 
epic 
140

Summon an evil demon and tease it by calling it names and blowing raspberries 

32

Summon an evil demon and tease it by calling it names and sticking out your tongue 

1

Supervise the annual guild spring cleaning 

27

Survive the zombie apocalypse 

23

Sweep the desert 

46

Swim in mainstream society 

50

Swim through a pool of sorrow and catch some waves of joy 

17

 T  
<Top>

Take a bite out of every piece of fruit in the Garden of Eden 

48

Take a break from questing and relax 

33

Take a hike 

42

Take a long walk off a short pier 

38

Take a lost kitten to the Temple of Bast 

39

Take a meteor shower 

34

Take a swim in the Sea of Tranquility 

34

Take a timeout and sit in the corner 

31

Take a trip down memory lane 

36

Take a walk on the wild side 

41

Take an anger mismanagement class 

35

Take an underwater basket weaving class 

34

Take back the night and get a refund 

32

Take candy from a baby 

46

Take care of a Godville Administrator's egg until it hatches 

34

Take down the head of the monsters' labor union 

37

Take early retirement and keep questing as a hobby 

44

Take early retirement, but keep questing as a hobby 

28

Take holy orders 

82

Take one for the team 

46

Take part in the search for the Holy Packet 

40

Take something from one guy and bring it to another guy for a reward 

38

Take the Rosetta stone to the Tower of Babel 

41

Take the bull by the horns 
mini 
4

Take the day off 

27

Take the little piggy all the way home 

37

Take the moral high ground, by force if necessary 

33

Take time off for good behavior 

10

Take two aspirin and quest again in the morning 

100

Talk the hind legs off a donkey 

37

Talk to locals to figure out what to do next 

3

Talk to the locals to figure out what to do next 

29

Teach Latin to pigs 

3

Teach a mime the official sign language of Godville 

43

Teach a phoenix to play with fire 

53

Teach a pig to fly 

41

Teach an elephant to forget 

43

Teach an elephant to forget things 

2

Teach an old dog new tricks 

45

Teach chickens to use crosswalks 

43

Teach pigs Latin 

1

Teach some pigs Latin 

38

Teach the insomniac sheep to count jumping humans 

40

Teach the world to sing in perfect harmony 

32

Teach these monsters some manners 

31

Tell the plumber that his princess is in another castle 

50

Tempt fate with milk and cookies 

40

Tempt fate, with milk and cookies 

4

Test the limits of an 'AllYouCanEat' buffet 

6

Test the limits of an 'allyoucaneat' buffet 

27

Thin the weak animals out of the herd 

33

Think of a witty quest idea 

36

Tickle a dragon until it cries “uncle” 

31

Tickle a dragon until it cries uncle 

1

Tie up the loose ends in string theory 

10

Tie up the loose ends in the string theory 

35

Tip every cow in the village fields 

43

Train a cow to jump over the moon 

30

Train a crouching tiger to find the hidden dragon 

54

Train a guide dog for the color blind 

27

Train the quick brown fox to jump over lazy dogs 

42

Trap a mime in an invisible box 

50

Travel back in time to prevent myself from starting this quest 

50

Travel east till get in the west 
epic 
1

Travel east until ending up in the west 
epic 
44

Travel east until it turns into the west 
epic 
97

Travel to the edge of the earth and try not to fall off of it 

38

Travel to the field of dreams and wake everyone up 

31

Travel up a creek without a paddle 

39

Tread water in a frozen lake 

30

Tread water on a frozen lake 

1

Triplecross a doublecrosser 

29

Try every trick in the book 
epic 
141

Try to cash a reality check 

46

Try to fail and succeed 

38

Try to look busy 

46

Try to shake the feeling of being watched 

31

Turn over a new leaf 

10

 U  
<Top>

Unify quantum mechanics with relativity 

32

Unlearn what has been learned 
epic 
150

Unscramble an egg 

12

Unsolve a generic mystery 

35

Use the means to justify the end 

33

 V  
<Top>

Venture into a black hole and turn on the light 

44

Visit enough signs to learn sign language 

51

 W  
<Top>

Wait for the cows to come home 

32

Wake someone who sleeps with the fishes 
mini 
2

Wake the dead with breakfast in bed 

38

Walk halfway around the world, then give up and head back 

38

Walk halfway round the world, then give up and head back 

5

Walk the entire length of the information highway 

29

Walk through a Boolean gate 

33

Walk to Godville University and back, uphill both ways 

30

Warm all Godville's benches 
epic 
22

Warm all of Godville's benches 
epic 
116

Waste time productively 

46

Watch a cup of water evaporate 

41

Watch the grass grow 

39

Watch this quest complete itself 

54

Win a dwarven drinking contest 

30

Win a freestyle canoe dancing competition 

78

Win a game of croquet against the queen of hearts 

43

Win a game of hide and seek against the invisible man 

40

Win a staring contest against a statue 

40

Win a staring contest with a statue 

3

Win second place in a beauty contest 

34

Win second prize in a beauty contest 

1

Write a holy book 

33

Write a summary of the dictionary 

52
