List of Quests

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Achievements • Artifacts • Equipment • Monsters • Quests • Skills • TownsOmnibus List
Notice: game texts are not subject to Creative Commons license (due to the way they were initially submitted to the ideabox).

This is a list of available Quests in Godville, initially seeded by scanning approximately 35K heroes and heroines, with manual updates since.

All quests have been linked, so you can tell by the quest's color if a description exists (Blue Text) or not (Red Text). You are encouraged to add new entries to this list as they are encountered by your heroes, and to create or embellish the linked quest description pages.

A

Quest Type
Accurately predict doomsday
Achieve an epic fail epic
Acknowledge the elephant in the room
Adapt a musical for mimes
Add insult to injury
Agree on a dig-free zone with the leader of the mole council
Alter results by measuring them
Annoy the graveyard keeper until he blows his top off
Answer nature's call
Apply for a Godville lifetime membership card
Apply for a new monster-hunting license
Arrange a date between Burger King and Dairy Queen
Arrange the alphabet according to height
Arrange the milestones in alphabetical order epic
Arrange to rearrange a deranged ranger
Ask the early bird if it even wants the worm
Ask the mirror who's the fairest of them all
Ask the right questions and get the right answers
Assassinate an assassin in the act of assassinating another assassin
Atone for future mistakes
Attempt sobriety for just one quest
Attempt to believe it's not butter
Attempt to crash reality
Attend a conference on mole-friendly digging techniques
Attend a remedial class on questing
Attend an Alcoholic Anonymous for Heroes meeting
Audit all the pantheons of Godville
Avenge own death
Avenge the cat by killing curiosity
Avoid doing any work

B

Quest Type
Babysit a stellar nursery epic
Band the wing of a random fallen beast
Banish the night and call it a day
Bark up the correct tree mini
Be in the right place at the right time
Be the wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time
Beat a cat and mouse in a game of cat and mouse
Beat a fish in a drinking contest
Beat around the bush
Beat both the tortoise and the hare in a race
Beat the Devil in a fiddling contest
Beat the abyss in a staring contest
Bet against the inevitable
Become a martyr and live to tell the tale epic
Become one with the force
Become one with the universe epic
Become slightly more awesome
Become someone else's imaginary friend
Become the i-th member of an imaginary guild
Become the umpteenth member of %random_guild% guild
Become the umpteenth member of the guild %random_guild%
Become uncool before uncool becomes cool
Blind someone with science
Blind the eye of the storm epic
Bluff all the way through a quest
Boldly go and take on a mini-quest mini
Boldly go where no one has gone before
Boldly go where thousands have gone before
Break a sweat and then fix it
Break a world record and try to fix it
Break off a deal with the devil
Break on through to the other side
Break out of an infinite loop
Break the Fourth Wall
Break the monotony of constant questing
Break the record for most records broken epic
Break the weak link in a chain reaction
Break through the firewall
Brew a storm in a teacup
Bridge the cultural gap
Bring a cutting remark to a punfight
Bring a literary thief to poetic justice
Bring balance to the force epic
Bring donuts to %town_name% guards guild
Bring lawn order to the grasslands
Bring sexy back once and for all
Build a better mouse trap
Build a bridge over troubled water
Build a food pyramid
Build a gingerbread house for that harmless old lady
Build a raft out of toothpicks
Build an igloo in the desert
Buy a goose that lays golden eggs and mold the eggs into golden bricks

C

Quest Type
<CENSORED>
Calculate a snowball's chance in hell mini
Calculate the interest rate on borrowed time
Call the local anarchists' meeting to order
Calm down a petrified forest
Capture the flag
Carry a drop of water back to the sea
Carry a tune using no hands
Carve a cow out of a block of butter
Cash a background check
Cash in some street cred
Catch a blood mage red-handed
Catch a falling star and save it for a rainy day
Catch a fly with chopsticks
Catch a tiger by the tail
Catch the worm before the early bird
Celebrate completing the previous quest
Challenge Death to a game of chess
Challenge Medusa to a staring contest
Change a leopard's spots
Change the course of history epic
Change the world, then change it back epic
Charge a particle with murder
Chase that funny burning ball in the sky
Check if a phoenix will resurrect in a barrel of wine
Check if every rose has a thorn
Chlorinate the fountain of youth
Chop some sticks with chopsticks
Claim the throne of the animal kingdom epic
Clean the window of opportunity
Clean up the mess made during the previous quest
Clear the skeletons out of the closet
Climb every mountain and cross every stream epic
Climb the social ladder to get god's beard epic
Climb the tallest beanstalk to have a bird's eye view of Godville epic
Climb the tallest mountain and take a peak epic
Climb the widest mountain and sail the highest sea epic
Climb to the top of a family tree
Collect 5 items for a random villager who is too lazy to do it himself
Collect enough forum threads to make cloth
Collect monster head trophies for the temple
Collect pollen for the hive mind
Collect signatures to ban petitioning
Collect some oysters to make pearl jam
Collect some pegasus feathers for a pillow
Collect two animals of every kind epic
Come up with a better catch phrase
Commit random acts of silence
Commit sudoku
Compare apples to oranges
Compare the number of stars to sand grains epic
Compile a list of quests that other heroes are doing
Complete a fool's errand
Complete a pub crawl of every tavern in godville
Complete all those forgotten side quests epic
Complete an annual performance review epic
Complete the mother of all quests epic
Complete the previous quest at a higher difficulty level
Complete the previous quest backwards and in high heels
Complete this quest the hard way epic
Compost the spoils of war
Confirm that looks can kill
Construct a frame of mind
Convert 360 liters of oxygen into carbon dioxide
Convince a frog that it used to be a prince
Convince a genie to switch to energy-saving lamps
Convince a rabbit to get a hare cut
Convince another hero to do a quest for me
Convince the Heroes Union to launch a preemptive strike
Convince the lemmings not to jump
Cook up a recipe for disaster
Correct an off-by-one error in the quest counter
Counsel a misguided missile
Count all the coins in a wishing well
Count how many steps it takes to wear out a pair of shoes epic
Count sheep without falling asleep
Count the Lernaean Hydra's heads
Count the chickens before they hatch
Count the grains of sand in an hourglass
Count the nails in the third front horseshoe of Sleipnir
Count the stars in the sky
Crack a code with a hammer
Crack a conspiracy nut
Crack a joke without breaking a smile
Crack the code of ethics
Create a level playing field
Create a pie chart of the best bars and a bar chart of the best pies
Create holy water by boiling the hell out of it
Cross all the hot buns
Cross the river and burn the bridge
Crush twenty anthills
Cry a river and sail to the ocean epic
Cry a river, build a bridge and get over it epic
Cry over spilt milk
Cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring

D

Quest Type
Dance with the devil in the pale moonlight
Debug an abacus
Defeat a goldfish in a staring competition
Defend a blanket fort for the night
Defragment a zebra
Defile the Augean stables
Delay the moment of procrastination
Deliver a message in a bottle
Deliver some crisps to the IT-Shaman
Deliver some sour gnomish beer to the dark elves
Deliver the elixir of youth to the maternity ward
Deliver the emperor's new clothes
Deliver this cookie
Demand a refund for a broken heart mini
Describe an abstract concept in no uncertain terms
Describe this quest in five words or less
Desert some dessert in the desert
Destroy all evidence of the previous quest
Determine exactly who's on first
Determine the longest distance between point A and point B mini
Determine the terminal airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow
Develop a god complex epic
Deviate from the norm
Devise a plan to gain the upper hand
Die another day mini
Dig a tunnel to the other side of the world
Discover Victoria's secret
Discover a way to get rid of cooties
Discover something that's easier done than said
Discover the atomic number of the element of surprise
Discover the exact function of a rubber duck
Discover the secret ingredient
Discover the sound of one hand clapping
Discover what actually killed the cat
Discover what the gods are doing when they aren't paying attention to us epic
Discover where the cat keeps its stolen tongues
Discover where the wild things are
Discover which witch is which
Discover who framed Roger Rabbit
Discover who sits at the head of the Round Table
Discover why all good things must come to an end and put a stop to it
Do a sequel to the last quest with a bigger budget epic
Do a speedrun of an epic quest
Do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay
Do nothing until the next quest
Do six impossible things before breakfast epic
Do something regrettable and feel great about it afterward
Do what you can, where you are, with what you have
Doctor a medical license
Document a series of unfortunate events
Don't complete this quest
Dot all the i's and cross all the t's
Drag and drop a golden ring into the volcano
Dream a dream within a dream
Drink from the last straw
Drive a herd of cats from Dogville to Godville
Dunk a cookie in the milky way

E

Quest Type
Earn a Darwin award
Earn an entry in another hero's diary
Eat a dog's homework
Eat your way to the top of the food pyramid
Educate the village idiot
Empty a full moon
Empty a lake with a spoon
Engineer an epic comeback without a degree
Escort an inner child to safety
Escort the big bad wolf to granny's house
Establish an alibi just in case
Establish how many fish there are left in the sea
Exchange an eye for an eye
Exercise the right to arm bears
Experience a plot twist
Explore a spooky castle standing on a cliff
Extend pet registration vet
Extract the jelly from a jellyfish

F

Quest Type
Fact check a book of prophecies epic
Fall down a gravity well
Fall off the edge of insanity and climb back up
Fear nothing but fear itself, and clowns mini
Feed and bathe a gremlin after midnight
Ferry a goat, a wolf, and a head of lettuce across the river
Fetch a bucket full of mercury for the local alchemist
Fetch a pail of heavy water from a gravity well
Fetch a pail of water for Jack and Jill
Fetch a pail of water from the nearest mirage
Fight fire with fire without getting burned
Fight a way out of a wet paper bag
Fight in the name of pacifism
Figure out how time flies
Figure out what the heck is going on
Figure out which one of these things is not like the other
Figure out why the person in the mirror is such a copycat
Fill in a black hole
Fill the Den of Evil with monsters
Fill this quest's progress bar
Finalize the Fantasy
Find 100 random objects hidden throughout Godville
Find 13 remedies for triskaidekaphobia
Find Candy Mountain
Find Happiness and ask her to drop by more often
Find a better megaphone for my deity
Find a black cat in a dark room
Find a burning bush and talk to it
Find a cause worth fighting for
Find a clean public restroom
Find a complex solution to a simple problem
Find a crew small enough to sail a ship-in-a-bottle
Find a dead end and revive it
Find a deaf man who's heard about a blind man seeing a legless man walk
Find a dozen fresh rooster eggs
Find a fog bank and make a deposit
Find a gateway to a perpendicular universe
Find a ghost in the shell and perform a rite of exorcism
Find a guildmaster and beg him to enroll me into the %random_guild% guild
Find a horse to trade for a kingdom
Find a level boss and defeat it mini
Find a lost cause and offer directions
Find a lost soul and return it to its owner
Find a monk in the mountains and ask him for a 'lotus pose' guidebook
Find a more mole-friendly way to dig
Find a mountain of numbers and add them together
Find a mystical wardrobe which leads to a magic kingdom
Find a person who weighs the same as a duck
Find a pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow
Find a quest that doesn't involve work
Find a reason to finish this quest
Find a sheep in wolf's clothing
Find a snow angel with no footprints around it Christmas
Find a spider that can spin a web of lies
Find a square peg that fits into a round hole
Find a synonym for the word “synonym”
Find a waterfall and look behind it for hidden treasure
Find a way to divide by zero
Find a way to put the toothpaste back into the tube
Find a win-win situation and lose
Find a witty name for this quest
Find a word that rhymes with purple
Find algebra's X and don't ask Y
Find an atheist with a god complex
Find an organ donor for the local choir
Find and hypnotize the hypnotoad
Find and then tip the balance of power
Find another brick for the towns wall guild
Find enough spiders to weave a world wide web epic
Find half-full and half-empty glasses
Find more pages for the diary
Find my lost marbles
Find one strange thing about normality
Find out exactly who let the dogs out
Find out for whom the bell tolls
Find out how a raven is like a writing desk
Find out how deep the rabbit hole really goes
Find out how far the apple falls from the tree
Find out how many drops of water fit into the ocean
Find out how many heroes it takes to change a lightbulb
Find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a lollipop
Find out how many milestones there are
Find out how many pecks of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked
Find out how many quests there are
Find out how many roads a man must walk down before he admits he is lost
Find out how many wrongs it takes to make a right
Find out how much horsepower a pony has
Find out how much wood a woodchuck would chuck
Find out how to appeal a notarized death certificate
Find out how to keep a fool occupied for a few hours
Find out how to turn a golden brick into a pint of beer
Find out if a man really is what he eats
Find out if a phoenix will resurrect in a barrel of wine
Find out if chocolate milk comes from brown cows
Find out if one really is what one eats
Find out if rubber trees bounce
Find out if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about
Find out if the moon is made of cheese
Find out if the sky is falling
Find out if the truth really is out there
Find out the real date of the end of the world
Find out what a vacation is and take it by force, if necessary
Find out what happens after all is said and done epic
Find out what happens behind closed doors
Find out what the birds and bees are actually up to
Find out what the monster is doing under the bed
Find out what the speed of dark is
Find out what the Tooth Fairy is doing with all those teeth
Find out what victory tastes like
Find out what's beyond bed and bath
Find out what's on clouds one through eight
Find out what's not fair in love and war
Find out where all the old diary entries go
Find out where heroes come from
Find out where lightning strikes twice
Find out where the grass is greener
Find out where the little birdie gets all its information
Find out where the sun doesn't shine
Find out where the tough go when the going gets tough
Find out who comes up with these silly quests
Find out who shot the deputy mini
Find out who, what, when, where, why, and how mini
Find out why a raven is like a writing desk
Find out who left the seat up
Find out why lost things are always in the last place you look
Find out why nostalgia isn't what it used to be
Find out why they removed the word 'gullible' from the dictionary
Find out why this quest feels like déjà vu
Find out why this quest needs to be completed
Find out why tomorrow never comes epic
Find slightly over four hundred errors
Find some food for thought
Find some midnight oil and burn it
Find someone else to blame
Find someone else's happy place
Find someone to agree to disagree with
Find someone who knows the muffin man
Find something better to do
Find something that duct tape won't fix
Find the “you are here“ sign in Godville
Find the Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything epic
Find the Bee's knees and give them back
Find the Fountain of Middle Age
Find the Lost and Found box and return it to the mayor
Find the Porpoise of Life and offer it some fish
Find the Sphinx's nose
Find the WMDs in the neighboring kingdom
Find the beginning of a circle
Find the best thing since sliced bread
Find the corner of a round room
Find the difference between pie and pi
Find the end to the beginning epic
Find the essence of laughter
Find the exception to every rule epic
Find the forest through all the trees
Find the highway to hell
Find the humble beginnings and put them to an end
Find the hypotenuse of the Bermuda Triangle
Find the itch that can't be scratched
Find the kernel of truth in a cob of corn
Find the key that opens the caps lock
Find the land of milk and honey
Find the last digit of pi
Find the light switch for the dark side of the moon epic
Find the map to the long lost city of long lost maps
Find the middle of nowhere epic
Find the missing piece of the puzzle
Find the most abundant element in the universe epic
Find the most evil monster
Find the motivation for another quest
Find the oldest trick in the book and use it
Find the page not found
Find the perfect grain of sand
Find the perimeter of the Koch Snowflake
Find the point of no return and go past it
Find the price of a priceless moment
Find the proof in the pudding
Find the questgiver and ask for another quest
Find the right music to play when a quest is completed
Find the sharpest tool in the shed
Find the square-root of an apple pie
Find the straw that broke the camel's back
Find the strongest link in the chain and break it
Find the stuff dreams are made of
Find the stuff heroes are made of
Find the target of a shooting star epic
Find the treasure of Big Whoop epic
Find the troll under the bridge and pay the toll
Find the true meaning of Christmas Christmas
Find the volcano that all lava lamps come from
Find the way out of a wet paper bag
Find the wit's end
Find two identical snowflakes Christmas
Find x
Findout whats not fair in love and war
Finish a thousand-piece puzzle of a clear blue sky epic
Finish an everlasting gobstopper
Finish last place in a backwards marathon
Finish one of those annoying slider puzzles
Finish unfinished business
Fish around for a catchphrase
Fish for a red herring mini
Fit Cerberus with flea collars
Fit a big ship into a tiny bottle
Fix a dead pixel in the sky
Fix the hole in the ozone layer by using duct tape
Flatten the learning curve
Flirt with danger while cheating on death
Flirt with disaster mini
Flog a dead horse
Fold 1000 origami cranes
Follow by example
Follow the golden brick road and ask the wizard for some brains
Follow the sun to see where it sleeps at night
Follow the train of thought
Force some battle trolls to accept a peace offering
Free %town_name% from the wandering monsters guild
Fulfill a self-fulfilling prophecy

G

Quest Type
Gain a new perspective
Gain passage through the Default Gateway
Gather a search party to find a hero lost in thought
Gather enough monkeys in a room to reproduce the works of Shakespeare
Get %petname% to a vet for a medical check-up vet
Get Jack out of the box
Get a jackhammer and remove a sword from a stone
Get a picture of an invisible man
Get a prescription for laughter
Get a stable job working with horses
Get a water sample from the river Styx
Get a you-know-what for you-know-who
Get away from it all epic
Get acquainted with Charon the ferryman
Get certified as a professional quest-taker epic
Get classified as a medical miracle
Get disqualified for cheating on this quest
Get on a high horse
Get the band back together
Get the best of both worlds
Get the keys to the city and lock it
Get the show on the road
Get the snakes off the plane
Get the thing, go there, do the deed
Get to the end of the Endless Maze epic
Give Medusa a cut and blow dry
Give the ugly duckling a total makeover
Give up drinking
Go around in social circles
Go back to the drawing board
Go back to the future
Go back to the last savepoint
Go on a guilt trip
Go on a wild goose chase
Go outside and play
Go soul searching in a cemetery
Go the extra mile
Go there, do that, get the t-shirt mini
Go to the end of the Endless Maze
Go west until it becomes east epic
Go where the wind never blows
Grant political asylum to the dethroned king of a neighboring country
Grow a spine
Grow a short story into a tall tale epic
Grow and harvest a money tree
Grow and harvest a nuclear plant
Guide a suicidal, easily killed villager to safety
Gyre and gimble in the wabe

H

Quest Type
Hang out for a while in the Hanging Gardens
Harness the power of static electricity
Have a heated argument with a snowman Christmas
Help Little Bo Peep find her sheep
Help a cobbler find a solemate
Help a Lao Tzu fan find Tao
Help a Lao Tzu fan find the Tao
Help a lovesick archeologist date an artifact
Help a pig rebuild its straw house
Help a rolling stone gather moss
Help an ambitious mini quest grow into an epic one
Help an angel earn its wings mini
Help the keymaster meet the gatekeeper
Help the three little kittens find their mittens
Hide a grail and see if someone finds it
Hide as a sheep among the wolves
Hide in plain sight
Hitchhike to the other side of the galaxy epic
Hoard an insane amount of sanity
Hold my breath until the next quest
Host a divine intervention

I

Quest Type
Identify a flying object
Ignore sight, sound and smell, and navigate solely by taste
Imagine a world with no hypothetical questions
Improve efficiency by streamlining the questing process
Increase the quest total by one
Inflate all the bubbles in a roll of bubble wrap
Inform living dead that a zombie apocalypse has been postponed for one year Halloween
Insert tab A into slot B mini
Invent a perpetual brake for a perpetual motion machine
Invest in unreal estate
Investigate and confirm that they truly lived happily ever after
Invite a turkey to a holiday dinner
Iron out the wrinkles in time

J

Quest Type
Jingle the bells all the way Christmas
Join a society so secret that even they don't know they exist
Join the dark side and steal their cookies
Journey there and back again epic
Judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree
Jump off a cliffhanger

K

Quest Type
Keep 'em on their toes
Keep a fool and his money together
Keep calm and hero on
Keep this quest out of the reach of children
Kill a dragon barehanded
Kill all humans
Kill ten boars
Kill time by stabbing clocks
Kill two birds with one stone
Kill two stones with one bird
Knock at Baldur's Gate and run away
Knock on Death's door and run away

L

Quest Type
Last till tomorrow
Laugh all the way to the bank
Laugh in the face of danger mini
Laugh in the face of danger until it cries
Lay siege to a pillow fort
Lay the foundations for an unfounded accusation
Lead a horse to water and make it drink
Lead a horse to water and teach it how to fish
Lead imaginary friends to an imaginary castle
Learn breadmaking on a knead-to-know basis
Learn how to bite my elbow
Learn how to spin straw into gold bricks
Learn humility and then brag about it
Learn shadow puppetry in an allegorical cave
Learn some magic from the wizards of the coast
Learn something old, forget something new
Learn the true meaning of “irony”
Learn to delay the inevitable
Learn to distinguish the small monsters from those that are far away
Learn to dodge lightning bolts
Learn to draw a perfect circle
Learn to eat only one potato chip
Learn to fly superhero style, fist-first
Learn to pat the head while rubbing the stomach
Learn to read between the lines
Learn to ride a horse without training wheels
Learn to snap a picture using photographic memory
Learn to spell 'live evil' backwards
Learn to swallow a tablespoon of cinnamon
Learn to walk in a straight line
Learn to win friends and influence people
Leash the kraken
Leave no stone unturned
Leave the heroics to the experts
Leave this quest incomplete
Let the cat out of the bag
Level Godville's playing field
Liberate the gluten
Light up %town_name% with eyes sparks guild?
Limbo under the bar of common sense
Live forever or die trying
Live long and prosper epic
Live to tell about it mini
Live today as if there was no tomorrow
Live today as if there were no tomorrow
Locate a fallen star upon which to make a wish
Locate and touch the G-man
Locate the source of the sound of silence epic
Look a gift horse in the mouth
Look at the stars and connect all the dots
Look busy to avoid getting another quest
Look for a new quest
Look for hay in a needle stack
Look for love in all the wrong places mini
Look for the New Sound
Look on the bright side of joining the dark side
Loosen up some tied ends
Lower the bar
Lower the high seas epic

M

Quest Type
Make, break and repair a promise at the same time
Make %town_name% great again guild
Make a cameo in another game
Make a glade in a city jungle guild
Make a heavenly dessert in hell's kitchen epic
Make a long story short
Make a mountain out of a molehill
Make a myth a legend epic
Make a nice shirt out of the fabric of reality
Make a unanimous decision with imaginary friends
Make an appointment at a local cloister to learn how to access the astral plane
Make an omelette without breaking any eggs
Make apocalypse jokes like there is no tomorrow
Make another one bite the dust
Make bacteria go viral
Make crop circles on nearby farmland
Make ends meet
Make lemonade with life's lemons
Make some steaks out of cannibal cows
Make something out of nothing
Make sure all their base are belong to us
Make the possible impossible
Make the world a better place epic
Make two great minds think differently
Make uninformed decisions about misunderstood things
Map the dark side of the moon
Master the art of sneezing with both eyes wide open
Master the mysteriously powerful 'wax on, wax off' technique
Measure the circumference of the circle of life
Measure the depth of a bottomless pit
Measure the distance between each milestone
Measure the distance from here to there
Meet every monster and ask for forgiveness epic
Memorize pie to the nearest whole number
Milk a cow for all it's worth
Moon a werewolf mini
Moonwalk through the valley of the shadow of death
Move a mountain one stone at a time epic
Mow the surrounding lawn

N

Quest Type
Name the phobia of questing
Narrate the current quest
Negotiate a lower crossing fee with the troll under the bridge
Negotiate a monster-hero peace agreement
Not complete this quest

O

Quest Type
Observe the way a cookie crumbles
Obtain a sales receipt from a thieves guild
Obtain unobtainium
Offer therapy sessions for monsters
Open an endangered monster reserve
Orchestrate an unnecessarily complicated raid on a rival guild's headquarters
Organize an interspecies chess tournament
Outrun that persistent shadow
Overtake the undertaker

P

Quest Type
Pack a lifetime of excitement into a single day epic
Paint a mile of the road green
Paint a word worth a thousand pictures epic
Paint the grass on this side greener than the other side
Paint the sky with stars
Paint the town red
Paint the white roses red
Part the sea of red tape
Pass a Turing test
Pass the test of time epic
Pass the tutorial level
Pave the information superhighway
Perfect the recipe for disaster
Perform a feat of undeniable deniability
Perform acupuncture on a voodoo doll
Perform an inventory check along the Chosen Ones' migration route
Perform stand-up comedy for a pack of hyenas
Pick a bone with a skeleton
Pick an ice fleck from the top of Sky Peak
Pin the tail on the donkey
Pity the fools
Place yardpebbles between the milestones epic
Plan something spontaneous
Plant a family tree
Plant a kiss in a garden and watch it grow
Plant a seed of doubt in the plains of optimism
Plant a sustainable garden of hops and barley
Plant a tree for every monster killed
Plant an escape root
Plant evidence in the monster's garden
Plant some shrubs to ward off the undead
Plant something good and eternal
Play the world's saddest song on the world's smallest violin
Play with the mice while the cat is away
Please all of the people all of the time epic
Pluck a golden hair from the Devil's back and stay alive
Plug an information leak
Poke Achilles' heel with a finger
Poke a sleeping dragon in the eye and run away
Poke the eye in the sky
Polish all the forks in the road epic
Practice dentistry on a gift horse
Practice what no one preaches
Preach to the choir
Prepare for the unexpected
Prepare for trouble and make it a double
Prevent stars from falling epic
Prevent the dawn from breaking epic
Protect the village from its mayor
Prove that bad things come in threes
Prove that for every quest there is an equal and opposite request
Prove that lightning can strike the same place many times
Prove that nothing is fool-proof
Prove that nothing is possible by doing nothing
Prove that the other heroes' gods don't exist
Prove that the world is flat
Prove the critics wrong
Provide the princess with a good night's sleep
Pull a hat out of a rabbit
Pull the swordfish out of the stone
Punish the inner demon for bullying the inner child
Push the envelope at the local post office
Push this quest to the limit
Put a black hole into the middle of a donut
Put a little life into dying
Put all the eggs in one basket
Put an end to the Never-Ending Story
Put one foot in front of the other
Put signposts on the road to nowhere
Put the alphabet in numerical order
Put the cat back into the bag
Put the harm in harmony
Put the laughter back in slaughter
Put the sign '100 miles to Godville' in the proper place
Put the sword back into the stone
Put the undead to rest in the graveyard of the Chosen Ones
Put water under the bridge

Q

Quest Type
Question the need for a quest

R

Quest Type
Raise a family of dust bunnies
Reach for the stars and take one
Reach the end of a treadmill epic
Reach the light at the end of the tunnel
Reach the middle of nowhere
Reach the peak of imperfection
Reach the pinnacle of human achievement
Reach the unreachable
Read some tea leaves to see if there's trouble brewing
Realize there is no quest epic
Reap and sow some wild oats
Recalibrate a moral compass
Record the silence of the lambs
Recruit a new lifeguard for the gene pool
Recruit a team for the next epic quest
Reenact the last quest in front of a live audience
Refill an empty promise
Refuse to master reverse psychology
Rehearse a speech for world domination
Reinvent the wheel
Reject reality and replace it with my own
Reject reality and substitute it with my own
Reject reality and substitute with your own
Release the flaming snowman from a snowglobe prison
Relive the glory days
Remember that thing that needed to be done
Remember the location of the Forgotten Tower
Remember to learn to forget
Remember what happened last night
Reminisce about the good ol' days
Renew a birth certificate
Repaint the firewall
Repair a broken dream
Repair that stupid water chip
Repair the crack of dawn
Repair the quest randomizer
Replace Adam's apple with a pear
Replace this quest with a different one
Replenish the collection of bowling balls
Request a re-quest of this quest
Rescue a captive from a diary factory
Rescue an agoraphobic dwarf from the wilderness
Rescue the camel from the last straw
Rescue the dragon from the princess
Rescue the dust bunnies caught in the lint trap
Resist everything but temptation
Restock the dungeon for the next hero
Resurrect a dead language
Return an overdue library book
Return junk mail to the sender
Return some lost weight to its owner
Return the night to the living dead Halloween
Reunite a fool with his money
Revive the Dead Sea epic
Rewrite the diary in invisible ink
Rid godville of all the unnecessary drama
Ride a camel through the eye of a needle
Ride nightmares Halloween
Ring the bell curve
Rip out a feather from a bald eagle's tail
Rob a snow bank Christmas
Rock the cradle of love
Roll a rock up a hill
Roll the snowman back to the North Pole before he becomes extinct Christmas
Round up a triad of squares
Rub someone the wrong way
Ruffle some feathers

S

Quest Type
Sack the town but provide a generous severance package
Sacrifice tradition on the altar of progress
Save Schrödinger's Cat, shoved by Maxwell's Demon into a Helmholtz resonator
Save some time in a bottle
Save the world in the nearby village
Save up enough to pay attention
Saw a leg off the periodic table
Say the alphabet backwards while walking in a straight line
Scale a mountain of paperwork
Scale the Cliffs of Insanity
Scare a scarecrow
Sculpt a figure of speech
Search for a polar bear in a snowstorm Christmas
See a falling star and make a wish
See if great power comes with a big electric bill
See if the pen really is mightier than the sword
See the dark side of the sun
Seek a drama-free zone
Seek enlightenment by lighting up all the candles
Seek professional help
Seize the day and hold it for ransom
Seize the day and let it go
Sell a bug as a feature
Sell sand to some desert nomads
Sell seashells by the seashore
Sell ten donut holes on the black market
Send a young hero on a pointless quest
Send in the clowns mini
Separate the red beans from the green beans
Serve hot dogs at a vegan event mini
Set a liar's pants on fire
Set a new high score epic
Set a new standard in standard-setting
Set a speed record for going nowhere epic
Set up a chain mail account
Set up a zombie apocalypse Halloween
Settle old scores in new ways
Settle the argument over whether it's duck season or rabbit season
Sew a stitch in time
Show the other heroes how it's really done
Silence a babbling brook
Sing all of “99 bottles of beer on the wall!”
Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skate on thin ice
Slam a revolving door
Smooth out the wrinkles in time
Snatch defeat from the jaws of victory
Sneak beer into the food pyramid
Sneakily follow that other hero on his quest, making sure he doesn't screw around
Sneakily follow that other hero on his quest, to make sure he doesn't screw around
Solve a catch-22 in 21 easy steps
Solve the Sphinx's Riddle
Spackle over a crack in the space-time continuum
Spend a night in a haunted house
Spread blasphemies about all false gods
Sprinkle some medicinal plants into the aboriginal peace pipe
Squeeze some blood from a stone
Stage a fundraiser to forgive the debts of the morally bankrupt
Stare at the monitor
Start a collective panic attack
Start a contagious yawn that affects everyone
Start a fashion revolution
Start a fight in the war room
Start a magic-beans-for-livestock exchange program
Start at the end and work back to the beginning
Start my own fan club
Start the %new_guild% guild in Godville
Starve a cold and feed a fever
Stay alive for one entire quest
Steal an impostor's identity
Steal honey from the hive mind
Steal someone's thunder
Steal the silver lining from a dark cloud
Step on every crack in the road between Godville and Deville
Stop a child from becoming an atheist
Stop the fat lady from singing
Stop the past from coming to pass epic
Stop the song that never ends
Store some time in a bottle
Strike an immovable object with an unstoppable force
Subvert the standard paradigms of the fantasy genre
Succeed where all others have failed epic
Summon an evil demon and tease it by calling it names and blowing raspberries
Supervise the annual guild spring cleaning
Survive the zombie apocalypse Halloween
Sweep the desert
Swim in mainstream society
Swim through a pool of sorrow and catch some waves of joy

T

Quest Type
Take a bite out of every piece of fruit in the Garden of Eden
Take a bite out of the food chain
Take a break from questing and relax
Take a hike
Take a long walk off a short pier
Take a lost kitten to the Temple of Bast
Take a meteor shower
Take a mini-quest and turn it epic epic
Take a stand for Monster Rights
Take a swim in the Sea of Tranquility
Take a time-out and sit in the corner
Take a trip down memory lane
Take a walk on the wild side
Take an anger mismanagement class
Take an underwater basket weaving class
Take back the night and get a refund
Take candy from a baby
Take care of a Godville Administrator's egg until it hatches
Take down the head of the monsters' labor union
Take early retirement, but keep questing as a hobby
Take holy orders
Take one for the team
Take part in the search for the Holy Packet
Take something from one guy and bring it to another guy for a reward
Take the Rosetta stone to the Tower of Babel
Take the bull by the horns mini
Take the day off
Take the emergency exit without panicking
Take the little piggy all the way home
Take the moral high ground, by force if necessary
Take the stage and leave with it
Take time off for good behavior
Take two aspirin and quest again in the morning
Talk the hind legs off a donkey
Talk to locals to figure out what to do next
Talk to the locals to figure out what to do next
Teach a fish to climb trees
Teach a mime the official sign language of Godville
Teach a phoenix to play with fire
Teach a pig to fly
Teach an elephant to forget
Teach an old dog new tricks
Teach chickens to use crosswalks
Teach math how to solve its own problems
Teach some pigs Latin
Teach the insomniac sheep to count jumping humans
Teach the world to sing in perfect harmony
Teach these monsters some manners
Tell the plumber that his princess is in another castle
Tempt fate with milk and cookies
Test the limits of an 'all-you-can-eat' buffet
Thin the weak animals out of the herd
Think of a witty quest idea
Tickle a dragon until it cries “uncle”
Tie up the loose ends in the string theory
Tip every cow in the village fields
Train a cow to jump over the moon
Train a crouching tiger to find the hidden dragon
Train a guide dog for the color blind
Train the quick brown fox to jump over lazy dogs
Trap a mime in an invisible box
Travel back in time to prevent myself from starting this quest
Travel east until it turns into west epic
Travel to the edge of the earth and try not to fall off of it
Travel to the center of attention epic
Travel to the field of dreams and wake everyone up
Travel up a creek without a paddle
Tread water in a frozen lake
Trim down the city lawn guild
Triple-cross a double-crosser
Try every trick in the book epic
Try everything once, and maybe even twice epic
Try to cash a reality check
Try to fail and succeed
Try to look busy
Try to shake the feeling of being watched
Turn over a new leaf
Turn over all the new leaves in %town_name% guild
Twist a plot

U

Quest Type
Unchain the lightning
Unify quantum mechanics with relativity
Unlearn what has been learned epic
Unlock the next quest area epic
Unscramble an egg mini
Unsolve a generic mystery
Use a black light to find white noise
Use the means to justify the end

V

Quest Type
Venture into a black hole and turn on the light
Visit enough signs to learn sign language
Volunteer as a crash test dummy

W

Quest Type
Wait for the cows to come home
Wake someone who sleeps with the fishes mini
Wake the dead with breakfast in bed
Wake up early enough to do nothing all day
Walk halfway around the world, then give up and head back
Walk the entire length of the information highway
Walk through a Boolean gate
Walk to Godville University and back, uphill both ways
Warm all of Godville's benches epic
Waste time productively
Watch a cup of water evaporate
Watch over %town_name% guards guild
Watch the grass grow
Watch this quest complete itself
Weave a web of lies with the thread of truth
Weigh an anchor
Whitewash a black cat
Win a dwarven drinking contest
Win a freestyle canoe dancing competition
Win a game of croquet against the queen of hearts
Win a game of hide and seek against the invisible man
Win a staring contest against a statue
Win second place in a beauty contest
Wrestle gravity into submission
Write a holy book
Write a summary of the dictionary
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