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Monsters of Godville
Dominus Loci Spatio Reticulum
Class Humanoid
Habitat Near beaches or heartbroken people
Description A net-enhanced, connections-based monster

The LANlord (Dominus Loci Spatio Reticulum) is a monster known for limiting heroes' connections to their diaries and hence to their deities.

A weaver maiden was weaving her beloved (a nobleman with a fondness for fishing) a net made of her hair, Love Bug wings and Cellfish scales, in the hopes of creating a net that would trap whatever was caught in it so tightly even prayer could not save them. However, when she brought it to him, she found him kissing a mermaid. Enraged, she cast the net over him despite his protests, trapping him in it forever.

Now, the LANlord wanders Godville, angry and heartbroken, imbued with the powers of the net. He has gathered minions, called Agents[1], to do his bidding.


Tall, tan, and less handsome than he used to be, this monster is draped in a tangled net that can extend to catch prey (heroes).



  • He can trap heroes within the net, which is an extension of himself, and hit them in the closer proximity
  • Monstrous strength from his angst
  • Prayers to deities are weakened [2]


  • Being presented with a skein of string, especially heart string, will cause him to sit down and cry or run away
  • His Agents require orders to fight. Hence, disrupting their connection will making fighting much easier
  • A good sword can cut through the net, but heroes must be warned that it grows back, and quickly
  • Running away from him - his net-work powers are local and hence limited to an area


  2. This has only been anecdotally stated by one heroine, who might just have been frustrated with a non-answering goddess.
Monstrous Aristocracy
Monarchy Arrestocrat • Grimelord • Hangoverlord • Ogrelord • Spelun King
Royalty Carbon Foot Prince • Duke of Haphazard • Itch King • King of Clovers • King Thong • Ligerian Prince • Lying King • Prince Charmless • Prince Harming • Prince of Dorkness • Prince of Whales
Nobility Baristocrat • Capitalist Overlord • Civil Warlord • Demoted Plutocrat • Evil Overlord • Game Overlord • Grime Lord • Ignobleman • Ineptocrat • LANlord • Lord of the Dunce • Lord of the Keyring • Marquis de Sad • No Man's Landlord • Noble Ghast • Oval Lord • Tribble Overlord
Chivalry Arabian Knight • Boogy Knight • Crypto-Knight • Dark Stormy Knight • Dork Knight • Knight In Casual Clothes • Knight In Shining Armoire • Knight Who Says Ni • Knighting Gale • Knightmare • Lady's Knight • Late Knight • Live Saturday Knight • Neverwinter Knight • Not-So-Brave Knight • Prom Knight • Silent Knight • Sir Caustic • Sir Dance-a-Lot • Sir Render • Starless Knight • Swiss Army Knight • Wedding Knight