Knights who say Ni

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Knights who say Ni
Motto: Beware the Ni-Sayers!
Alignment: Humane
Gold Fund: 60,985 c.u.
Date Founded:  
Membership Count: 675
Town with Greatest Influence: Trollbridge (10%)
Pantheon of unity Rank: 89
Forum Headquarters: Knights who say Ni
Guild Page: Knights who say Ni 
Data current as of 29th April 2011

We are Knights who say Ni. Ours is the path of honor and truth, a path of light, and seldom darkness. We came from the far away land of Monty, and traversed the terrible desert of Python to arrive in the world of Godville. Our mission is to proclaim the sacred words "Ni, Peng and Neee-wom", to collect shrubburies, and to learn to wield the mighty herring.


As one of the largest and most wealthy guilds in Godville, our members are treated with nothing but the best. Our guild hall is the most impressive building in the realm, and is equipped with a state of the art training center, although this is sometimes called the maze of death, the palace of pain, and that-place-where-we-keep-hearing-screams-from. The personalized hospital and the many lounges and areas of relaxation are the envy of many a hero. 

Yet of all these things our most notable is the magical table of the Knights who formerly owned a Square Table. This artifact has the rare power to create any food or beverage at will, simply by sitting down and wishing for your meal. Many heroes have been known to join simply for the never ending flow of beer that is available from this wondrous table. All other guilds beware, as any attempt to 'liberate' our table will result in the awesome power of "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing Zow Zing!" No hero has ever been known to receive these words of power and live to tell the tale. 

If you wish to join the ranks of Ni-Sayers you must bring a shrubbery of suitable size to our guild master, GodZarquon . Be warned, failing to bring a large enough shrubbery will result in a slap of the herring and an order to repeat the quest. However you should also be aware that succeeding to join our guild will also earn you similar treatment in the form of the herring slap of entry. 

How to Join

To convince your hero to join the ranks of the Ni-Sayers you must send this command to your hero.

Join "Knights who say Ni" guild

For largest chance of success, send the command while your hero is "'outside of town"' and is idling. (i.e. not fighting a monster) If the above does not succeed after several tries, try replacing the word "join" with the word "enroll". 


Our glorious guild has recently made peace with the evil but powerful guild that is Harvest Moon. After a long bloody war we have learnt to respect each-other for who we are and we have stopped trying to convert them to the bright side.

There are many knightly guilds that wander the land, and we enjoy the company of all knights within our halls. Yet one group, the Knights of the Square Table, has mocked our sacred words, and has earned our eternal enmity. As evidenced by their disappearance from the realm, and our capturing of their table, they are now only a relic of what they once were. UPDATE: until now. Now they are back and seemed to have learnt their lesson as they are now much better behaved

We are also currently involved in conversations with the breadsticks guild. Despite having a banana obsession, they seem to be a pleasant bunch, and very respectful. A word of note: They seem to have developed the strange idea that we must use the word Ni in every post, and are even awarding themselves cookies when we fail to do so.

We had a quiet war with Wiki Leagues, as we felt they were a foolish guild and would surely be assassinated by government agents if we didn't discourage their ways. We shouted Ni at them until they slowly crumbled to dust.

We allied with Warped Quantam as was the wish of their great leader Spode who technically owns this page and every other page on the wiki (sort of) 

Guild Officers

GodZarquon  Titles: Master Ni-Sayer / Residant Ninja / Protecter of Shrubburies 

Zarquon was one of the earliest members, and was appointed as the new leader after Coldwilson's departure. He is in charge to do with the guild really.

GodSupreme Amelia  Titles: Keeper of Peace / Protecter of Violent Beasties / Carver of Necessary Herrings

A strong and active member of our guild, Amelia has graced our halls for many moons. Many a time has she ventured into the territory of other guilds, yet she has always managed to preserve peace, and to leave a good impression. As such, she is our official peace keeper, and is in charge of resolving all of the day-to-day guild disputes. Her only wild side seems to be the wild hares that she keeps, which have been known to cause havoc every once in a while.

GodWishie  Titles: Moral Giver / Bestower of Hugs / Chief Diplomat

Wishie is undoubtedly the happiest member of our guild, and is prone to carry an angels-wings blanket around with her. She has been in more intensive training with Sensei then most, and is expected to be a strong and powerful heroine. She is prone to mood swings however, and seems to occasionally drop into these despairing depressions, only to spring back up to happiness again.

GodLittle Ghost  Titles: Guild Healer/ Arena Dominator/ Those two titles are all I'm giving you for now as they are both very good :)

Little Ghost is a kind gentle character although it sometimes appears she has mood swings in a similar fashion to Wishie although perhaps she just has anxiety sometimes or occasionally suffers from stress, perhaps they both do, anyway I digress. Little Ghost is a very beautiful goddess which can lead to her being followed around by irritating men like Sam Vimes who she treats with perhaps more patience than they deserve. She is also a good dancer and a very powerful arena fighter.


Distinguished Members

All distinguished and long-standing members will be recognized here.


Mortalin quickly proved his dedication to the art of Ni-Saying, and is always willing to help with any dangerous mission. It is worthy of notice that Mortalin is one of the few evil-aligned members of the guild, although the trend seems to be catching on among the gladiators especially with the addition of the two symbols of good and evil. Mortalin has served us well and is under observation as it is likely that he will be next to be promoted


Ram is trying hard to be made the official guild prankster, and is constantly bothering officers and other members with his practical jokes. Still, he is a steadfast soldier, a good ally, and the only member who insists on differentiating between his God and Hero characters. A promotion to guild jester is anticipated.


Zalan is a strange member, although she has been with us long. She is sly and quiet, and a reputable fighter. You will rarely see her in our hall, though occasionally you will find evidence that she's been there. 

Knights of Ni

All active members of the guild will be noted here. If you feel that your name should be here, please contact GodSensei Blood  or GodZarquon 

Goodbye to:

GodColdwilson  (Glorious founder of our guild, may all bow down to him that meet him)

As the founder of our guild, Coldwilson was a fine leader and deeply devoted until a great tragedy occurred. Coldwilson abandoned his hero who, shunned and alone, left this guild and joined the green bottles cult, becoming (even more of) an alchoholic. Some say you can still hear his drunken moans echoing from abandoned or lonley areas.

GodThe God that Passed  (the original second in command to Zarquon)

Passed was a loyal Knight for many months, and became Second in Command when Coldwilson left the guild. He was very active on the forums especially when Zarquon and he had to restore the guild and was responsible for assigning chores and difficult quests to worthy Knights. His many tasks and responsibilities caused him to pass on the mantle of leadership to Sensei for a while, until he may find the time to take them up again. We still hope that one day he may return to our halls.

GodSensei Blood  (loyal second in command to Zarquon)

Sensei joined the guild at a young age, yet quickly gained approval as he grew in experience. An immensely humble fellow, he built our training center as a place to whip the other members into shape. He was in charge of molding the talents of each recruit into a solid fighting form, and usually withheld their beer privileges until the training was completed. He was an exceptional guild member, everything a knight should be, and his death is a great loss to us all.

Fare ye well...