Hell's Kitten

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Monsters of Godville
Hell's Kitten
Felis impudae
Habitat By the cooking fires of those it has cowed and permitted to live.
Description An uncute kitten from the bowels of Tartarus.

The Hell's Kitten (Felis impudae) is a devil-like creature with cat-like features, and is often a brownish-red furred, with pure red, slit-pupiled eyes. Many heroes and heroines fear it terribly, and it is quite rare to see one before passing San Satanos, although not unheard of. Not much is known about this cat-devil because to see it means almost certain death if you catch its devious stare.


Though little is known for certain about Hell's kittens, The Rumor Mill is rife with expectations and suppositions. After all, one of the short order cooks claims to have been held captive by one for three years. The claw-marks on his ankle lend credence to his stories, though witnesses to his haunted tales rightfully point out that he has never once discussed how he managed to escape.

Per the cook, Hell's kittens are inexorably attracted to cook fires and bake ovens, possibly as substitutes for the warmth of a mother's love and regard (Hell's kittens' mothers may be Hellcats, making this a reasonable hypothesis), and possibly because Hell's kittens are warm-blooded creatures hiding from predators like the Arctic Firebird. The Hell's kitten curls itself into a ball of fluff until the tender of the given oven or cook fire returns from an errand, then stretches out a paw to stab the luckless tender through the Achilles' tendon with razor-sharp claws. Thus immobilized, the tender is put to work.

Hell's kittens like it hot. Not just some like it hot: all like it hot. Tenders of cook fires and bake ovens, limping, get forced to add more and more wood, coal, and charcoal to the combustion reservoir, building up the heat to the point where most pass out. (Per the cook, this is the origin of the peculiar phrase, "If you can't take the heat, get away from the kitten.") Most wake to the Hell's kitten further shredding their ankles once the fire dies down, leaving the devil-cat cold. By this time, any bread or meal the tender was making is little more than carbon atoms, but if offered some, a Hell's kitten will eagerly devour the mess. Cryptozoologists consider why this is to be one of the most pressing questions they hope to answer if they ever survive taking a specimen.

By unknown means, a Hell's kitten will keep its host alive without food or drink for years to tend the fire. The Godville Police Department regularly issues "Wanted" advertisements in the Godville Times specifically to reduce this devil-cat's numbers beneath the level where an arsonist or other firebug could conceivably seek one out to form a symbiotic relationship.



  • Unassuming initial appearance.
  • Razor-sharp claws.
  • Conferrable limited immortality.


  • Extreme dislike of the cold.
  • Uncute to the point of causing revulsion.
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