General Failure

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Revision as of 17:47, 7 December 2014 by PutInNameHere (talk | contribs) (Added a fun fact - am I the first to do that? ;))
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Monsters of Godville
General Failure
Class Fail!
Habitat Places with an average IQ below 74,98
Description X-Rated beast with low intelligence

The General Failure (defectus defectus) is a very unsuccessful monster. For this reason it is widely thought of as one of Godville's weakest creatures. Nonetheless, it should not be underestimated as often even its sight (which is said to be disgusting) stronlg damages heroes.

On the photo is the den of a General Failure.[1] It is strongly advised to enter it as the inherent traps are very likely to hurt the defectus defectus and not the hero. Yet there are some of these monsters who started to build traps on themselves or - even more dangerous - attack their own body which usually ends up in massacres, the General Failures mostly survive.

They live in places with an average IQ below 74.98[2], so areas with many heroes are especially endangered of being infested. The further you go from Godville, the safer you are.

The General Failure is said to be related to the Fail Whale (defectus cetaceans), but nobody has ever survived to prove that.

Fun fact: The highly scientific hero failing statistic, in short H.S.H.F.S, calculated pompously that the chance for a hero to fail at an undefined exercise is 1.37[3] times as high as the chance for a General Failure. Instead of doing something against this, complains Laqueesha Halahir, their president, that most gods just stop heroes' eager tries by sending lightning bolts.


  • dangerous appearance
  • hurts heroes accidentally
  • big support and own army


  • often fails to attack or defend
  • fails to build traps
  • dumb (compared to a hero: average)


  1. The try of taking images of the General Failure itself ended with two dead heroes and one exploded camera.
  2. The actual number is 74.975063828949802039077438029998987923784234983928496, but - as usual -: No one cares!
  3. Actually it's 1.3728498893849 times, but as I said above: Simply nobody cares!