General Failure

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Monsters of Godville
General Failure
Defectus defectus
Don't laugh, it’s trying its best.
Class Failure!
Habitat Places with an average IQ below 74,98
Description X Z-Rated beast with somewhat very low intelligence

The General Failure (Defectus defectus) is a very unsuccessful monster. For this reason it is widely thought of as one of Godville's weakest creatures. Nonetheless, it should not be underestimated as often even its sight (which is said to be disgusting) can deal a lot of damage to heroes.


On the photo is the den of a General Failure.[1] It is strongly advised to enter it as the inherent traps are very likely to hurt the defectus defectus and not the hero. Yet there are some of these monsters who started to build traps on themselves or — even more dangerous — attack their own body which usually ends up in massacres, though the General Failures mostly survive.

They live in places with an average IQ below 73.34[2], so areas with many heroes are especially endangered of being infested. The further you go from Godville, the safer you are.

The General Failure is said to be related to the Fail Whale (defectus cetaceans), but nobody has ever survived to prove that.

Fun fact: The highly scientific hero failing statistic, in short H.S.H.F.S, calculated pompously that the chance for a hero to fail at an undefined exercise is 1.37[3] times as high as the chance for a General Failure. Instead of doing something against this, complains Laqueesha Halahir, their president, that most gods just stop heroes' eager tries by sending lightning bolts.



  • Dangerous to look at.
  • Hurts heroes accidentally.
  • Big support and has it’s own army


  • Often fails to attack or defend itself.
  • Fails to build working traps.
  • Dumb? (Compared to a hero: Average)


  1. The attempt to take images of the General Failure itself ended with two dead heroes and one exploded camera.
  2. The actual number is 73.3410638289498020390774380299989879237842349839284966510833291955334582948401, but — as usual — no-one cares.
  3. Actually it's 1.372849889384901633869289102651737982962956173849220281937686, but as I said above: simply nobody cares.