Difference between revisions of "Free fall accelerator"

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The [[Free Fall Accelerator]] is a... well it's... uh... just think about the name! Wha'd ya think it does?! Make you a bagel with jelly? Wrongo! To put it straight, it allows one to hit the ground harder and faster so to allow less time for fear to kick in usually leaving the user dead about 1-59 seconds sooner than than usual. I personally believe it's an excellent birthday gift for enemies, fantastic anniversary present for obnoxious dates/spouses and a terrific surprise to your 6th grade math teacher that failed you just because you "accidentally" put her online dating profile in the school news because she wouldn't let me swivel around in her cool teacher chair so I called her a bag of artichokes because she wasnt any fun and when she told me to sit at my desk I scooted along in her chair until I was at my desk and I started working when she tipped me out of ''MY'' new chair and told me never to be within ''13 inches away'' from it but then I called her a... SORRY  TMI! Tooooooooooooooo much info!!! I think I'll stop now....
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{{Artifact
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|image=freefall.jpg
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|caption= Misuse of a '''Free fall accelerator'''
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|description= ♪Falling at the speed of sound...♪
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|type=Bold
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}}
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The [[Free fall accelerator]] is a rare [[artifact]] that is very large, the hero is only able to carry one of these at a time. This is a deliberate choice by the manufacturer, especially since it is difficult to fit into the backpack or through the door frame of any shops in town.
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This accelerator allows the person possessing it to be thrown into the air at a high velocity in order to free fall back to the ground. Heroes will then hit the ground harder and faster to allow less time for fear to kick in, usually leaving the person dead about 1-59 seconds sooner than than normal. It has been advertised as "an excellent birthday gift for enemies, fantastic anniversary present for those people who really annoy you" by its manufacturer, [[Sirius Cybernetics Corporation]]. ''Some assembly required.''
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'''WARNING:''' For outdoor use only.

Latest revision as of 13:49, 4 April 2019

Artifacts of Godville
Free fall accelerator
freefall.jpg
Misuse of a Free fall accelerator
Type 💎Bold
Description ♪Falling at the speed of sound...♪

The Free fall accelerator is a rare artifact that is very large, the hero is only able to carry one of these at a time. This is a deliberate choice by the manufacturer, especially since it is difficult to fit into the backpack or through the door frame of any shops in town.

This accelerator allows the person possessing it to be thrown into the air at a high velocity in order to free fall back to the ground. Heroes will then hit the ground harder and faster to allow less time for fear to kick in, usually leaving the person dead about 1-59 seconds sooner than than normal. It has been advertised as "an excellent birthday gift for enemies, fantastic anniversary present for those people who really annoy you" by its manufacturer, Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. Some assembly required.

WARNING: For outdoor use only.