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Diary Excerpts:

Where's page 404 of my diary? I can't find it.

Chanced upon a mockingbird. Cried over its witty insults.

The town doctor told me I have liver damage. I'm going to the tavern to drown my sorrows.

Saw a therapist about my aggressive tendencies and defeated him in only two moves.

Attempted to take the high road. Fell.