An interesting quote
|— by an interesting author|
Some kind of introduction...
...which should be about this long.
Hey there, you've reached the Flip Flappers wiki page, a page about the fastest growing guild in Godville (don't factcheck that)! That makes sense, since all hyperlinks will ultimately take you to this page (don't check that either). Anyway, here at Flip Flappers we just chillin, and we'd love it if you started increasing the chillin overload with us! So, go read how and why to join below, or read our legendary creation tale.
Read this part of this godwiki article and you'll know how to join our guild. It's not that hard. It is. At least one Flip Flapper has required over fifty tries to join the guild, but multiple others have done it in one try.
Why would you join?
I don't know, but you probably already came up with a reason on your own. Maybe because
- our guild name is Flip Flappers,
- we have a Sacred Coconut (see our creation legend),
- you could call yourself a Flip Flapper,
- did we mention our awesome guild name?
If you join pliz do dis:
Our Sacred Coconut has commanded us the following, so it's highly recommended to do these 2 things:
- Encourage your hero a lot, especially in towns (to raise our popularity)
- Try to avoid punishing your hero. We'd like to keep the guild as bright as coconut oil.
Our creation legend
A long time ago, there was nothing. But since the existence of nothing itself was a paradox, something existed. And well... Then Flip Flappers was just kinda.. there. Don't ask me, I don't know why either. Luckily, an ancient manuscript I never bothered to read conveniently tells us something that fits right in with what I've said so far.:
Huh. I guess the history of our guild is less vague than I thought it was. This document makes total sense!
How to correctly worship the Sacred Coconut
- Accidentally become an honorary member or Flip Flappers
- Gather at least 42 members of the public in the sacred coconut summoning room for your sacred coconut worshipping session
- Lock the doors so no one can get in or out
- Start playing psalms about the sacred coconut (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=w0AOGeqOnFY)
- As soon as everyone is singing, you can begin the summoning of the sacred coconut. Make sure you have all the required ingredients: a sledgehammer, a pineapple and 200 litres of molten chocolate
- Suspend the molten chocolate in the air directly above the altar, in a kettle or something. Make sure you can drop it all down as soon as you need to
- While continuously singing coconut psalms, place the pineapple in the middle of the altar and completely destroy it as violently as possible with the sledgehammer
- If everything went correctly, you should now see cracks forming in the floor. If you're going for the Martyr achievement, jump. Otherwise, continue singing as loudly as possible while the sacred coconut slowly emerges from the ground. Just ignore the hellish flames, don't ask questions, and get down on your knees and your head as low to the ground as possible
- The sacred coconut will now, while you continue singing, absorb the smashed pineapple. Do NOT, under any circumstance stop singing unless you want to end the world
- When it sounds like the pineapple is gone and the coconut is moving on to whichever dumb soul dared look at it instead of the ground, dump all the chocolate on it and stop singing immediately
- After approximately 4 minutes, you'll hear a loud burp. This is your cue to continue singing again
- The sacred coconut will slowly descend into the earth again and when the temperature feels like it's dropped below 50 °C you're probably safe to carefully stop singing
- Let everyone out and call someone to repair the floor. The gravediggers in Los Demonos offer us a discount.
How to increase the chance of your worshipping session being successful:
- Time the release of the chocolate well. Once you get really good at this, you could theoretically hold a worshipping session without any casualties.
- Tell people not to look at the sacred coconut as this means certain death. You could also not tell them this to make the timing of step 1 easier (bones crunch differently than pineapple).
- Don't use any less than 200 litres of molten chocolate. This could result in a bloodbath like the Massacre of Unsettlement.
Our totem monster
On day 3608 g.e., the Foul Fowl became Flip Flappers' totem monster, and it helped out in the fight against a terrible pandemic that affected multiple worlds, Godville not excluded. When most of Flip Flappers' members weren't allowed to leave their houses, it provided supplies for the guild members in exchange for the corpses of heroes who tried to leave the guild.