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The Companion Cube is an object, singular among all of those in Godville, rumored to be equipped to monsters and heroes alike. While this can be neither confirmed nor denied at this time, it is a known reference, usually accompanied by cake or portals.
The uses of a Companion Cube are unclear. Its form does not appear to follow its function, as it has been seen in the squared, spherical, pristine, dented, scratched, and burnt aspects all along the Gold Road. Inexplicably, it wields the ability to mesmerize heroes and heroines, causing them to exhibit protective emotions and tendencies toward the object. Therefore, the Godville Ministry of Disruption Prevention (GDP) assumes that the Companion Cube is some sort of mindless control device and recommends that all residents of the greater Godville area avoid metal objects of a thirty cm dimension that sport one or more pink hearts on the surface. One more thing: It will never attempt to stab you, and cannot speak. If it speaks, throw it into an incinerator.
The Companion Cube is believed to have originated in an extra-Godville location known as "Aperture Science," ruled over by a fiendish goddess known as GlaDOS. GDP considers that a Companion Cube may be one of three things:
1. An advance influence mechanism on the part of Goddess GlaDOS intended to prepare Godville for her emergence into our world.
2. A political refugee seeking asylum from the penal attentions of Goddess GlaDOS (Godville Ministry of Deific Defense hesitates to extend protection to the subject of a vengeful goddess, but will hear any petitions made by or on the behalf of Companion Cubes).
3. A souvenir of potentially Godville-shattering proportions that a Feral Heroine unwittingly brought into Beerburgh while escaping Goddess GlaDOS.
Any further information on this subject would be greatly welcomed.
Perhaps due to its questionable origins, uses, and purposes, a Companion Cube offered to a merchant for trade will net at best a poor price, and often no recompense at all. Any hero or heroine in possession of a cube is advised to obtain an aura of huckstering prior to trading it away.