Difference between revisions of "Bureau-Cat"

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The '''Bureau-cat''' (''Felis bureau-catus'') is a [[monster]] that is obsessed with order and paperwork. During combat, a Bureau-cat will often pause to ''cat''alog<ref>A common joke used by the ''Felis Bureau-catus''.</ref> the fight and their opponent. This makes escape and attacks simple if timed correctly.  
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The '''Bureau-Cat''' (''Felis bureau-catus'') is a [[monster]] that is obsessed with order and paperwork. During combat, a Bureau-Cat will often pause to ''cat''alog<ref>A common joke used by the ''Felis Bureau-catus''.</ref> the fight and their opponent. This makes escape and attacks simple if timed correctly.  
  
 
== History ==
 
== History ==
  
Despite the fact that Bureau-cats are well and thoroughly organized, their history is unusually vague and sparsely documented. They're known to dispose of documents that are deemed unnecessary or too old, which are either sold or overwritten. Luckily, some of these documents have been recovered from the pockets of heroes, so a somewhat complete story can be put together.
+
Despite the fact that Bureau-Cats are well and thoroughly organized, their history is unusually vague and sparsely documented. They're known to dispose of documents that are deemed unnecessary or too old, which are either sold or overwritten. Luckily, some of these documents have been recovered from the pockets of heroes, so a somewhat complete story can be put together.
  
 
=== The Incomplete Origins ===
 
=== The Incomplete Origins ===
A long time ago, an unnamed bureaucrat slighted the {{hero or heroine}} of a powerful deity inside the town of [[Tradeburg]]. Once their {{god or goddess | invert=yes}} took notice of said wrongdoing, {{he or she | invert=yes}} sought vengeance for {{his or her | inverted=yes}} cherished {{hero or heroine}}. After many, ''many'' attempts to coax them back to Tradeburg, the {{god or goddess | invert=yes}} was able to find and punish the bureaucrat. The resulting [[godpower]] smite, however, didn't destroy {{him or her}}. Instead, {{he or she}} transformed into the first Bureau-cat.
+
A long time ago, an unnamed bureaucrat slighted the {{hero or heroine}} of a powerful deity inside the town of [[Tradeburg]]. Once their {{god or goddess | invert=yes}} took notice of said wrongdoing, {{he or she | invert=yes}} sought vengeance for {{his or her | inverted=yes}} cherished {{hero or heroine}}. After many, ''many'' attempts to coax them back to Tradeburg, the {{god or goddess | invert=yes}} was able to find and punish the bureaucrat. The resulting [[godpower]] smite, however, didn't destroy {{him or her}}. Instead, {{he or she}} transformed into the first Bureau-Cat.
  
Further documents describing the rise of Bureau-cat population have yet to be found. However, it can be theorized that similar circumstances would increase the amount of Bureau-cats up to the point at which they could reproduce normally.
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Further documents describing the rise of Bureau-Cat population have yet to be found. However, it can be theorized that similar circumstances would increase the amount of Bureau-Cats up to the point at which they could reproduce normally.
  
 
== Attributes ==
 
== Attributes ==
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=== Weaknesses ===
 
=== Weaknesses ===
* '''Weighed by paperwork''' &mdash; the Bureau-cat will often stop combat to organize
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* '''Weighed by paperwork''' &mdash; the Bureau-Cat will often stop combat to organize
 
* '''Subject to review''' &mdash; all Bureau-cats must be double-checked by their peers, often making any action incredibly slow to be authorized
 
* '''Subject to review''' &mdash; all Bureau-cats must be double-checked by their peers, often making any action incredibly slow to be authorized
 
* '''Distraction''' &mdash; any string, yarn, catnip, etc. will serve well to distract the ''Felis Bureau-catus''
 
* '''Distraction''' &mdash; any string, yarn, catnip, etc. will serve well to distract the ''Felis Bureau-catus''

Latest revision as of 17:06, 17 September 2019

Monsters of Godville
Bureau-Cat
Felis bureau-catus
business_cat.jpeg
Class Animal
Habitat Fields and office buildings
Description Highly organized feline

The Bureau-Cat (Felis bureau-catus) is a monster that is obsessed with order and paperwork. During combat, a Bureau-Cat will often pause to catalog[1] the fight and their opponent. This makes escape and attacks simple if timed correctly.

History

Despite the fact that Bureau-Cats are well and thoroughly organized, their history is unusually vague and sparsely documented. They're known to dispose of documents that are deemed unnecessary or too old, which are either sold or overwritten. Luckily, some of these documents have been recovered from the pockets of heroes, so a somewhat complete story can be put together.

The Incomplete Origins

A long time ago, an unnamed bureaucrat slighted the heroine of a powerful deity inside the town of Tradeburg. Once their god took notice of said wrongdoing, he sought vengeance for her cherished heroine. After many, many attempts to coax them back to Tradeburg, the god was able to find and punish the bureaucrat. The resulting godpower smite, however, didn't destroy her. Instead, she transformed into the first Bureau-Cat.

Further documents describing the rise of Bureau-Cat population have yet to be found. However, it can be theorized that similar circumstances would increase the amount of Bureau-Cats up to the point at which they could reproduce normally.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Highly organized — will remember and take notes on an opponent's attack style and reasonable counter-attacks
  • Cute and fluffy — the Felis Bureau-catus' physical appearance may inhibit combat in more emotional foes

Weaknesses

  • Weighed by paperwork — the Bureau-Cat will often stop combat to organize
  • Subject to review — all Bureau-cats must be double-checked by their peers, often making any action incredibly slow to be authorized
  • Distraction — any string, yarn, catnip, etc. will serve well to distract the Felis Bureau-catus

Footnotes

  1. A common joke used by the Felis Bureau-catus.
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Tigers Basement Cat 🐱 Bureau-cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther 🐱 Weakest Lynx
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Equipment Ancient cork 🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly 🍻 Lion belch
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