|Motto||Paupertas servitute potior|
- Artifacts sell for less money here.
- Heroes waste more money here than usual (but heroes with temples will also save more money toward retirement here).
The residents of Bumchester frequently find themselves in a self-imposed seclusion. Their acute embarrassment is solely attributed to the fact that their faces look, almost exactly, like a huge pair of arsecheeks. Their noses are tanned, brown, by the scorching sun. Giving most of the residents the appearance of a rather large, walking posterior, mid flow... so as to speak! ( Pinching a loaf, to the rest of us! ;) ) As a result, the residents underwent a long period of time after the departure of the Bumms (see below) during which they had no contact with the outside world. Written records of contact with Bumchester residents is thus equally scarce. One of the earliest and only known references by an outsider to Bumchester came in the form of a torn diary page bought by an historian in Tradeburg. The entry contained only two lines:
- My hero was at a town called Bumchester today. It was somewhere around the ten mile marker!
- I found only a reference to a Bumchester Arena, apparently near Suffolk. I am thoroughly bumfuzzled!
No traces of any arena outside of the famous one of Godville itself have ever been uncovered. It is suspected that the original Bumms intended to start their own arena, but due to the lack of corroborating evidence, it is unlikely to have been very successful.
The resident Bums claim that their tavern is superior to most others:
However, in an anonymous survey held in the main tavern of Bumchester, the Down and Out, two-thirds of those polled acknowledged that the ale just over the horizon in Beerburgh was vastly superior. The other third of the tavern-goers who were asked to respond to the poll replied with some combination of burps, maniacal laughter, and snores.
On Day 649 g.e., the Godville Times reported the following as breaking news:
- Mad scientists in Bumchester have proven that trying to leave no stone unturned is the easiest it's ever been.
This explains the many residents of Bumchester wearing labcoats and rolling stones into their own valley.
Bumchester was the first suburb of Godville, and as such is one of the oldest settlements apart from the capital itself. The original inhabitants were a tribe of wealthy clansmen known as the Bumms. As they increased their wealth in the capital city, they increasingly looked to the horizon, with its plenitude of available, fertile land. Eventually they decided to depart the city and enjoy the good life about ten miles outside of Godville. Faced with an abundance of land, they got first pick of locations and selected a picturesque valley. Because they were a close-knit people, however, the Bumms ironically found themselves all building their new homes right up against each other, thus inadvertantly recreating the crowded conditions that they had sought to leave behind. Thus was born the town of Bummchester (original spelling).
As more and more Bumms left Godville for the new settlement, the population density rose dramatically, and with it, the quality of life of the inhabitants of Bummchester plummeted. Pestilence and poverty soon raged throughout the town, prompting conflict between those Bumms who had modest means and those who were absolutely destitute. Soon, those who could afford more than one meal a day began to derogatorily refer to their poorest neighbors as "Bums," intentionally dropping the second "m" because "they were so poor, they couldn't even afford the extra letter of their last name."
Eventually, as the Bums continued to try to scrape a living together, the Bumms decided that they could no longer bear the poor living conditions. They abandoned Bummchester, an event known as "The Departure", choosing to return to Godville or continue on to other farther settlements. The remaining Bums proudly renamed their town "Bumchester," removing the extra "m" from the name as a token of solidarity. We might be hungry, they would say, but at least we are free. This sentiment additionally contributed to the creation of the town's motto, Paupertas servitute potior ("Poverty before slavery").
Bumchester is nestled in a fertile valley a mere ten miles from Godville. Because of the high sloping mountain walls on two sides, the area receives plenty of rain and was known by early nomads as a natural source of fruit trees and other edible plants. After it was settled, the buildings helped to channel the rain water into filthy gullies, which carried the healthy loam and fertile dirt away, leaving behind only muddy gutters. Today the rains still keep the valley humid and cool, but greenery is limited to small grasses and hardy vines.
The original homes were built at the lowest point of the valley. As more settlers arrived, a barely-noticeable social hierarchy began to form, which resulted in the Bumms forming a second tier of homes against the valley wall. The most notable feature in the Town Centre, would be the rather large & impressive statue of the Town Mayor's buttocks, built at 1:50 scale, by local Sculptor and collector of fine, used and vintage Gussetry, Senor. Starfish, Phil MacRacken. All of this has long been abandoned by the original owners, but the remaining residents of Bumchester use these buildings for the annual Bumchester Dirt Festival.
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