Brew a storm in a teacup

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Quests of Godville


Brew a storm in a teacup
Difficulty: 7 / 10

Brew a storm in a teacup is a quest that many heroes and heroines struggle with, mainly because they don't possess a teacup. The traditional drink of Godville is beer, not a nice cup of tea! Come on, already! Tea is consumed mainly by peaceable monsters like Tea Rexes and Presidential Seals.

What does it take to complete this quest?

This quest requires several mini-steps:

  • Locate a teacup.
  • Acquire it for oneself:
    • Buy it, if it is for sale (usually after prolonged haggling), or
    • Steal it (if the heroine has insufficient gold or the owner (or monster) is fond of the cup and wants to keep it.
  • Obtain a spell for storm-brewing. These can usually be had, from the wise women of Godvillewood, for the price of a misfortune cookie.
  • Obtain the requisites for the spell. At minimum, these are: water, a tea bag, a second windbag and some fully-charged lightning bolts.[1] A minor miniaturization spell may be necessary to fit the resulting storm into the teacup.[2]
  • Cast the spell to "brew" the storm.

VoilΓ : a storm in a teacup!

The quest's aftermath

An unfortunate side effect of the spell is to render the heroine convinced that this quest is far more difficult and time-consuming to complete than any other (including epic quests). The affected champion will thus bore every other heroine in the area by complaining unceasingly about the enormous amount of effort it took. There is only one way to stop her from droning on until the end of time: smash the teacup.[3]


  1. ↑ Lightning bolts can be obtained from one's deity by the simple expedient of annoying him or her to the point of utter exasperation.
  2. ↑ Unless the cup is very, very large, for example, "">.
  3. ↑ This is another reason why teacups are increasingly difficult to come by in Godville.
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Lagers Ale-Chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat πŸ± Bureau-Cat πŸ± Fat Cat πŸ± Meowntain Cat πŸ± Neferkitty πŸ± Photocopycat πŸ± Punk Panther πŸ± Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum πŸ» Drop Bear
Oh My! Adminotaur πŸ‹οΈ Boozerker πŸ‹οΈ Godbuster πŸ‹οΈ Thug-of-war πŸ‹οΈ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup πŸ» Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
Taverns All Inn πŸ» The Battle Toad πŸ» Caravanserai πŸ» Progress Bar πŸ» The Rumor Mill πŸ» The Sword & Sandal πŸ» The Whinery