Brew a storm in a teacup

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Storm in a teacup.jpg

Difficulty: 7 / 10

This is a quest that many heroes and heroines struggle with, mainly because they don't possess a teacup. The traditional drink of Godville is beer, not a nice cup of tea! Come on, already! Tea is consumed mainly by peaceable monsters like Tea Rexes and Presidential Seals.

What does it take to complete this quest?

This quest requires several mini-steps:

  • Locate a teacup.
  • Acquire it for oneself:
    • Buy it, if it is for sale (usually after prolonged haggling), or
    • Steal it (if the hero has insufficient gold or the owner (or monster) is fond of the cup and wants to keep it.
  • Obtain a spell for storm-brewing. These can usually be had, from the wise women of Godvillewood, for the price of a misfortune cookie.
  • Obtain the requisites for the spell. At minimum, these are: water, a tea bag, a second windbag and some fully-charged lightning bolts.[1] A minor miniaturization spell may be necessary to fit the resulting storm into the teacup.[2]
  • Cast the spell to "brew" the storm.

Voilà: a storm in a teacup!

The quest's aftermath

An unfortunate side effect of the spell is to render the hero convinced that this quest is far more difficult and time-consuming to complete than any other (including epic quests). The affected champion will thus bore every other hero in the area by complaining unceasingly about the enormous amount of effort it took. There is only one way to stop him from droning on until the end of time: smash the teacup.[3]

References

  1. Lightning bolts can be obtained from one's deity by the simple expedient of annoying him or her to the point of utter exasperation.
  2. Unless the cup is very, very large, for example, "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4DO3fROz_g">.
  3. This is another reason why teacups are increasingly difficult to come by in Godville.
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Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist 🍻 Barbeerian 🍻 Beer Cub 🍻 Beer Golem 🍻 Beer Mugger 🍻 Beerburglar 🍻 Beerkat 🍻 Beerserker 🍻 Beerwolf 🍻 Boartender 🍻 Brewpid the Reindeer 🍻 Diet Sprite 🍻 Drinkerella 🍻 Extra Dry Djinn 🍻 Methylated Spiritualist 🍻 Red Bull 🍻 Tea Rex 🍻 Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat 🐱 Bureau-cat 🐱 Fat Cat 🐱 Meowntain Cat 🐱 Neferkitty 🐱 Photocopycat 🐱 Punk Panther 🐱 Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur 🏋️ Boozerker 🏋️ Godbuster 🏋️ Thug-of-war 🏋️ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab 🍻 Beer-battered beer 🍻 Beer-scented soap 🍻 Bottle of beer from a wall 🍻 Bottle of domesticated beer 🍻 Bottle of holy ale 🍻 Can of ambrosia 🍻 Exclamation pint 🍻 “Free beer” ticket 🍻 Instant beer tablet 🍻 Pint of no return 🍻 Strange brew 🍻 Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork 🍻 Awkward paws 🍻 Bear arms 🍻 Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup 🍻 Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly 🍻 Lion belch
Taverns All Inn 🍻 The Battle Toad 🍻 Caravanserai 🍻 Progress Bar 🍻 The Rumor Mill 🍻 The Sword & Sandal 🍻 The Whinery