Difference between revisions of "Baristocrat"

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For those favouring a more martial approach a simple bludgeoning with any available heavy object will suffice, no prayers or ceremonies need to be observed aside from one in the form of a swift kick to the nuts on departure.
 
For those favouring a more martial approach a simple bludgeoning with any available heavy object will suffice, no prayers or ceremonies need to be observed aside from one in the form of a swift kick to the nuts on departure.
The Baristocrat's name is rumoured to be Tarquin by birth although he will insist it is actually George. Punish him severly.
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The Baristocrat's name is rumoured to be Tarquin by birth although he will insist it is actually George. Punish him severely.
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{{Navbox aristocracy}}

Latest revision as of 06:52, 17 November 2020

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Monsters of Godville
Baristocrat
Menagerie.png
Description Unknown

The Baristocrat is a pompous, sanctimonious and irritating monster who is often seen pontificating about the superiority of single sourced beans rather than blended mixes.

The Baristocrat will be clothed in bespoke, destressed, ethically sourced, gender neutral, naturally dyed sentient cotton garments who's sanctioned by thirty four priests before harvest. He is best defeated via long discussions about child slavery and the inequality of a lentil based economy.

For those favouring a more martial approach a simple bludgeoning with any available heavy object will suffice, no prayers or ceremonies need to be observed aside from one in the form of a swift kick to the nuts on departure. The Baristocrat's name is rumoured to be Tarquin by birth although he will insist it is actually George. Punish him severely.

Monstrous Aristocracy
Monarchy Arrestocrat • Grimelord • Hangoverlord • Ogrelord • Spelun King
Royalty Carbon Foot Prince • Duke of Haphazard • Itch King • King of Clovers • King Thong • Ligerian Prince • Lying King • Prince Charmless • Prince Harming • Prince of Dorkness • Prince of Whales
Nobility Baristocrat • Capitalist Overlord • Civil Warlord • Demoted Plutocrat • Evil Overlord • Game Overlord • Grime Lord • Ignobleman • Ineptocrat • LANlord • Lord of the Dunce • Lord of the Keyring • Marquis de Sad • No Man's Landlord • Noble Ghast • Oval Lord • Tribble Overlord
Chivalry Arabian Knight • Boogy Knight • Crypto-Knight • Dark Stormy Knight • Dork Knight • Knight In Casual Clothes • Knight In Shining Armoire • Knight Who Says Ni • Knighting Gale • Knightmare • Lady's Knight • Late Knight • Live Saturday Knight • Neverwinter Knight • Not-So-Brave Knight • Prom Knight • Silent Knight • Sir Caustic • Sir Dance-a-Lot • Sir Render • Starless Knight • Swiss Army Knight • Wedding Knight