Difference between revisions of "Baristocrat"

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(The origins of the Baristocrat)
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The Baristocrat is a pompous, sanctimonious and irritating man who is often seen pontificating about the superiority of single sourced beans rather than blended mixes.
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He will be clothed in bespoke, destressed, ethically sourced, gender neutral, naturally dyed sentient cotton garments who's sanctioned by thirty four priests before harvest.
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The '''Baristocrat''' is a pompous, sanctimonious and irritating [[monster]] who is often seen pontificating about the superiority of single sourced beans rather than blended mixes.
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The Baristocrat will be clothed in bespoke, destressed, ethically sourced, gender neutral, naturally dyed sentient cotton garments who's sanctioned by thirty four priests before harvest.
 
He is best defeated via long discussions about child slavery and the inequality of a lentil based economy.  
 
He is best defeated via long discussions about child slavery and the inequality of a lentil based economy.  
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For those favouring a more martial approach a simple bludgeoning with any available heavy object will suffice, no prayers or ceremonies need to be observed aside from one in the form of a swift kick to the nuts on departure.
 
For those favouring a more martial approach a simple bludgeoning with any available heavy object will suffice, no prayers or ceremonies need to be observed aside from one in the form of a swift kick to the nuts on departure.
 
The Baristocrat's name is rumoured to be Tarquin by birth although he will insist it is actually George. Punish him severly.
 
The Baristocrat's name is rumoured to be Tarquin by birth although he will insist it is actually George. Punish him severly.

Latest revision as of 17:27, 23 March 2020

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Monsters of Godville
Baristocrat
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Class Unknown
Habitat Unknown
Description Unknown

The Baristocrat is a pompous, sanctimonious and irritating monster who is often seen pontificating about the superiority of single sourced beans rather than blended mixes.

The Baristocrat will be clothed in bespoke, destressed, ethically sourced, gender neutral, naturally dyed sentient cotton garments who's sanctioned by thirty four priests before harvest. He is best defeated via long discussions about child slavery and the inequality of a lentil based economy.

For those favouring a more martial approach a simple bludgeoning with any available heavy object will suffice, no prayers or ceremonies need to be observed aside from one in the form of a swift kick to the nuts on departure. The Baristocrat's name is rumoured to be Tarquin by birth although he will insist it is actually George. Punish him severly.