We want to teach you how to build your temple quickly, use the arena to fit your needs, and once your temple is finished play in the dungeons!!
Because playing a ZPG game like an RPG takes someone truly crazy.
We accept everyone from Chaotic Neutral to True Good... Just no kicking kitties..
Debbie does Chicklets: No chaotic evil? I mean, what sort of asylum wouldn't admit the joker?
Fine fine fine, From Chaotic Evil to Pure Good..
DANgerzone79: But - what if its an EVIL Kitty??
Well I guess if it was a really MEAN kitty.. or what if it had fangs or claws or what if it was omg PURRING at you!!!!
Kayl: *lurks* *corrects all of Keleios spelling, AGAIN*
In the Beginning
At one point Asylum was created by our original founding members, Cinisi and K0EK. But the Sane took over...
Keleios, Kayl, Great Apollo and Christian the Divine chewed their way out of a dungeon, into the Asylum. They decided to stay. Because... We are not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with us!!!
The Inmates Running the Asylum
To Officially Join
If you are reading this, we know you are already with us in spirit. To make your hero join us, send the voice:
Join "Asylum" guild
Send the voice while not in town, and not fighting a monster. It may take a few tries!
Should your hero be sane enough to try to leave us, send a voice "Cancel Quest". They will come to their senses once in awhile, until they reach Cardinal rank at which point they will decide they must belong here after all and no longer try to push the buttons on the keypad in order to try to sneak out. (You need to check in on your hero at least once every 28 days, or they will leave despite their guild rank).
The Mental Ward (AKA Arena 101)
More to come. We are working on this under the bathroom carpet.
We prefer to dominate the Sane out there, and no need to match ourselves. We want to present a strong front to others. In order to do so we "announce" in Guild Council. You will see "Temple In" (T IN) or "Non Temple In" (NT IN). Once the person matches, post the word "Matched".
Announcing is required for all of the council, and strongly requested for everyone else.
There are some truly sane people out there that may stalk others. If you think you are being stalked message an officer!
But.. wait.. omg you accidentally matched a cell mate!! All is fair in the arena at this point. You can choose to fight each other, (preferred) or do a afk match (let TGR decide). In the end though, stuff happens. Shake hands, and go pop some bubble wrap.
Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
And if you are a templed player, it's considered taboo to use a miracle in combat. Good chance your next cannon of glitter is full of thumbtacks instead. Just sayin.
What Type of Gladiator are You?
There are three "ideals" you can strive for in the arena, and there are very good reasons to pursue any of them. Unfortunately, it is not possible to achieve all three simultaneously. There's a certain give-and-take between them, and each player has to choose how to strike the balance. The three ideals are frugality, ferocity, and frequency.
- You want to participate in the arena, but you don't want to spend a lot of money on charges (or maybe none at all). You want to get a lot of wins/bricks from the arena, but saving your hard-earned money/charges is more important to you. In fact, you may even try to gain charges from arena rather than spending them.
- You want to win. You want to have a good record so you can get the various arena achievements and so you can reach high ranks on the arena pantheons. And of course, with every win comes a brick.
- You want to get into the arena as often as you possibly can. There are very good reasons to do this. For one thing, you often get a brick just for entering. And obviously, the more often you enter arena, the more opportunities you have to win in the arena. For fast temple building, frequency is even more important than ferocity.
Hopefully it isn't too hard to see why it isn't possible to do all three simultaneously. Winning in arena costs charges, so if you're fighting frequently and ferociously, soon you will run out. Then you have a choice - buying charges (giving up on frugality), taking a break from arena (giving up on frequency), or accepting some losses (giving up on ferocity).
Obviously there is some middle ground, but most people will choose to sacrifice one of these ideals for the sake of the others. This results in three basic "types" of gladiators:
- Tacticians (Frugality/Ferocity)
- For tacticians, win record is more important than a fast temple. They are patient and (compared to other gladiators) don't go to the arena very often. They bide their time, waiting to get 3 (or likely even more) charges by accumulating, from gaining levels, from killing Holiday monsters, and from activateable artifacts. They tend to have a very high win ratio, but the total number of wins will be much lower than Brawlers (and even Opportunists) of a similar age. Tacticians are probably the rarest type of gladiator, but they are a force to be reckoned with. Their temples will take much longer to complete than other gladiators.
- Opportunists (Frugality/Frequency)
- Opportunists are not particularly concerned about their win records, and for them the arena is really just a means to an end. They go to arena mainly for bricks, charges, or for the trip to Godville (getting to Godville is especially valuable after temple). They visit the arena as much as possible, but try to avoid long expensive arena fights in order to save on charges. Instead they try to pick their battles and spend charges only on easy fights. Opportunists tend to have a lot of wins, but also a lot of losses. They will build a temple very quickly, but not quite as fast as brawlers.
- Brawlers (Ferocity/Frequency)
- Brawlers either love to fight, or else just absolutely can't wait for their temple to be done. They go to the arena as often as possible, and always fight to win. In order to maintain this pace, they buy accumulator charges. Especially for templed Brawlers, it can be very expensive to keep this up. They will rack up wins much faster than other Gladiators, and also complete their temples faster.
Playing a Tactician
Playing an Opportunist
Playing a Brawler
Losing for Fun & Profit
The conventional method of playing a conventional game is to try to win. Godville is a parody, so the conventional way is not necessarily the only way. Have you considered trying to lose in the arena instead of win?
This inversion isn't as odd as it seems. If your objective is to lose, then when you lose, you win! But as with any endeavour, it's not as simple as: 1. go to arena. 2. ???. 3. Lose. 4. Profit!
The rest of this section assumes that you want to be good at losing. Why else are you reading this?
What is your objective in going to arena? (Sorry, "fun" is too generic.) Logs? Bricks? Pantheon? Pranking? Be clear on what you want to get out of the exercise, because it will affect how you approach it. Also, try not to have too many ambitions. For example, if you want to be at the very bottom of the Pantheon of Duelers, you can't focus on bricks, and if you want bricks, you can't be too fussy about your Pantheon position.
Another note: some people lose deliberately in order to help a friend be able to resurrect their pet. There is definite strategy besides your friend sending tons of attacks and you ignoring your hero in order to "ensure" they win. Losing on purpose is an art, so be sure to try different strategies to see what works for you!
General guidelines for losers
- Strategic losing is not a send-and-forget "afk" strategy. You should never log off until you have assessed the fight on its merits.
- Never ever restore a charge when going in.
- It's up to you whether you restore a charge during the match should you choose to win, but if you're a non-payer it's best to try to win on your 50% GP and accept the loss if you can't. Besides, you are trying to be a loser. Pick your battles!
- Remember that you are there to lose - and also to have fun - so don't get fixated on making every fight turn out the way you want. Zen, always zen. Let the battle flow through you, and when it is gone you will remain.
- If you want to lose, use no voice that might cause your hero to heal or attack. Use no actions (except in desperation, hoping for the backfire).
- If your opponent is new, they may not know what to do. A newbie is an opportunity! Use "Pray" voices to coach them in how to defeat you and it may just turn an unwanted win into a triumphant loss.
- Use "Pray" voices freely. It lets your opponent know that you are at the keyboard so they are less likely to get distracted. Try to make the voices amusing, because it's fun, and also, well, if your opponent is amused they will like you more and are less likely to want to "stick it to you" by rolling over. You mostly can't use GP to make your opponent beat you, but judicious use of voices may persuade them to win because they like you. You may even come out of the fight with more godpower than when you went in.
- A desperation measure, if you're certain that you will win otherwise, is to throw one Punish or Encourage and hope for a backfire. This is a lousy bet, but Godville does seem to backfire the first two actions more often than later actions, so (especially in a backfire match) your odds may actually be better than 1/6 that you'll backfire. You're going to win anyway so you have nothing to lose. An AB or IM could turn the match around.
- If you win anyway despite your best efforts, enjoy the brick and the charge. Feeling bitter over a win is no fun at all!
- Logs or bricks
- The simplest case is that you want bricks or logs. Since you are going to lose a lot, this is a bulk endeavour.
- You need to send to arena as often as possible - up to every 4 hours. The more often you send, the more free bricks you'll get just for showing up, and the more opportunities to win a log or multiple bricks.
- If there's a log or three bricks for the winner? Fight to win!
- If there're three bricks for the loss? Try to lose.
- If you match another loser (especially if they are concentrating on pantheon position) you can try to get a brick and a charge using just your 50% GP. See advice on non-payer strategies in [Temple Building - Non-Payer Arena style].
- If your opponent fights and there's no log or three bricks at stake, roll over.
- Pantheon of Losers
- There is no such pantheon, of course. The best you can do is to be at the bottom of the Pantheon of Duelers. This requires some planning, because The Random tries to push everyone towards mediocrity.
- You need to send fairly often as Godville's Elo system rewards frequent fighters who display a strong winning or losing bent. It's better to have 15 wins and 85 losses than to have 1 win and 9 losses.
- You can't lose 'em all. You can try to lose every match, but as with the opposite strategy of winning every match, sooner or later the wheels will fall off. Sooner, in fact, because as a loser you can't burn godpower trying to turn the match around. Roll with the punches.
- If you have other alts with mediocre or losing records, send all your alts at once, but with your best loser in the rear. The blockers may take out another player's loser that could otherwise ruin your best loser's record. If you're lucky you'll match yourself or a winner and enjoy a near-certain loss. The idea is to overwhelm Godville's matching algorithm, which tries to match like with like. If you've done it right, your first few alts should already have matched by the time your biggest loser enters the arena.
- Your blocker alts will tend to win more than your loser, so you'll need to add new alts to the mix from time to time, or risk getting matched with a newbie or another loser when the difference between your record and your blockers records gets too great.
- As a loser you can also have fun in the arena by not caring about bricks or pantheons but just playing each match for the laughs. I call this the Joker strategy.
- You'll cheerfully win if a cheap win is there to be had.
- You'll cheerfully lose if the fight looks too expensive.
- You'll fight like the devil against a top ranker, or roll over against a bottom loser.
- Or whatever else takes your fancy. You are there to lose. Enjoy it.
Temple Building - Non-Payer Arena style
As a non-payer in the arena, you are going to lose a lot, but you can still get a lot out of it with free bricks and free charges when you do win. To try to maximize your gains by not using any charges to fight, there are three ways to play. First is a pure afk, send and forget. Second is to send two punishes (or a punish and an encourage) as soon as possible in the match, then let it go afk. Third is my favorite which has the best possiblity of the 3 to win, the possum!
To possum a fight is to do nothing at first, looking like an afk until the last moment when you attack. Possuming requires time and attention, but it will get you more wins than if you simply send afk. The method is simple, wait until your opponent is under 40% health before you attack. Watching the attack turns, send your first punish on your opponents turn, then follow with your second punish on your attack turn. This will maximise the damage of the final attack, so even if they react to the first attack and try to heal, you will still do damage and possibly steal the win. And don't forget vc's! During the match, you might randomly get some bonus GP. Use it to send attack vc's along with your punishes!
Do not close or logout when you see the other player attack right away! They could be using the second method described above and only use 2 influences. If you do not respond right away, they might think you are afk and be lured to sleep, while you wait with a little maniacal laugh, watching the hero's health tick away. In this case, you also need to watch your own health, as you'll need to get your attacks in before you're killed.
Of course there are exceptions...
- Restore GP match: start attacking right away since they are giving you GP every turn anyway.
- Two action limit match: if they attack, send a defend vc on the next turn. If you're successful (or even better, they get a backfire) then they are action locked until you attack. Most likely they will use vc's, so use as many as you can but keep 25% for a single late punish since they cannot counter it.
- Three Bricks to the winner: This is up to you as the player to decide if you want to spend a couple charges to get the bonus bricks. You can still play it like a possum, but restore a charge after your attacks just in case your opponent reacts and you can't kill them with just the two punishes.
Temple Building 101
So you just got a hero. Congratulations! Or perhaps she's a heroine. Yay! Either way, you both now have a big task ahead of you. Her first contract is to accumulate 1000 bricks in order to build a temple to your greatness.
- A good start
- It starts at level 1. You can force her to level up faster by issuing voices like "Learn". If she ignores you, try again. If she obeys, give her a minute's rest before trying again, because she's very unlikely to learn twice in the same minute. Feel free to use one action at level 1 to kill a monster, because it gets that wretched "You just used an influence" pop-up out of the way.
- Even better than "Learn", unless you are in a hurry, is to use "Dig gold" to force her to dig. She won't unearth a boss monster, but she may get treasure chests. If you amass 3000 coins then you can try to melt a brick, but the odds of success are low. You actually want to hang onto the money for level 5.
- Level 5
- Level 5 is the magic level where you start getting accumulator charges. You get your first charge for reaching level 5, and you should instantly use your 100% gp bar to accumulate your second charge. That leaves you with 0% godpower, but this is where all that gold comes in handy. If she doesn't squander it all on booze and con men, she will sacrifice some at the end of her prayers before leaving town. Occasionally you'll get 100% gp from prayer, but at low levels the game tries to throttle you and you're more likely to leave town with 50% gp. If by chance you get back to 100% gp while still at level 5, use it to accumulate a third charge. These extra charges are less important if you plan to be a payer (someone who buys charges with RL money) but very handy if you're going to be a non-payer, and since you can only manually accumulate 3 charges, level 5 is your first and last chance to get so many free charges.
- The Neverending Story
- Once she has 3 charges, you can relax and let her do her own thing for a while. As gp allows, you can keep digging and try to melt bricks if she accumulates 3000 coins. Melting becomes more likely once she gets her first brick - whether from completing her first quest, activating an item, or by some lucky chance. In fact, as a non-payer this will be your main activity. You can do quite well simply by logging on and seeing if she has 3000 coins or an activatable that can make bricks. There's no need to check obsessively, just keep an eye on her and melt when the opportunity arises.
- important: If you're not buying charges, don't restore a charge to try to melt a brick. Just don't. If bricks are made of gold, treat charges like they are made of platinum. Gold comes and goes, but a charge is gone forever. If you are buying charges, then it's up to you whether you use a charge to speed your temple along.
If level 5 is magic, level 10 is a miracle. Level 10 is where the really cool stuff finally starts working. You can [go to arena]. You can dig for bosses. You've chewed through the bacon strips. Godville is your omelet.
To be continued ...
Get a temple, send to dungeon. Get wood. More to come
The Voices In Your Head
Why you should make an alt or two early!!
Healing Your Pet
Healing your pet can be a massive task, especially if you want that extra bonus for healing within 10 hours of being knocked out. Luckily, a range of strategies have been developed over time, just for this task! Note that there are more general strategies available and can be found here.
In general, the goal is to have enough money while in the prayer stage of a town trip. This comes after healing, selling and wasting. The most needed for a pet res is 450 gold per level of the pet. So a level 20 pet will need at most 9000 gold - but remember this is after wasting.
Getting enough gold to resurrect your pet can be difficult without a temple. There are a couple of strategies that may help though - just remember not to encourage or punish when you have more than 3000 gold, else you may just turn it into a golden brick!
Strategy One - Dig Bosses
Dig bosses are an easy way for your hero to get lots of gold quickly. Using one of the dig keywords you can try to make your hero dig up a boss for you to fight. Keep yourself alive, and you will get a big hit of gold and items to hopefully go towards your pet. Once you have enough gold (remember not to melt it, no matter how tempting it may be) you have a number of options:
- Arena - outlined below
- Force back to town, avoiding the high-waste towns (ask in guild for details)
- Go back to Godville at the end of a quest making sure your health is red and you will not waste
Strategy Two - Arena
This is a fairly high-risk strategy if you are not already used to the arena. On the plus side it is nice and easy - if you already have enough gold, or want to try and match someone to bring your total up enough (you can ask around to see if anyone might be willing to help, though do not expect others to give up) just hit the arena and win the match - you will not waste. So if you have enough gold coming out of the fight, you are guaranteed a healed pet - though you may want to give them a wash to get the smell off (Note: Do not tumble dry).
Healing a pet is fairly straightforward for a templed players - just be aware your pet can get much bigger! Templed players do not have to worry about melting bricks, and often as not are already carrying around a few thousand gold - if you think it is enough, just try to head back to a low-waste town, or finish your quest in red health and you will not waste. While your pet is down, you will also not convert coins into experience at your temple.
If you don't have enough gold, you get an extra option to pick it up - dungeons!
Strategy One - Dungeon
As well as an easy source of gold, you can use dungeons for an almost-certain way of bringing back a pet. All you have to do is send into a dungeon while praying and if you come out with enough gold, you will resurrect your pet! Your chances are even better if you go with some actives so you do not have to worry about hitting bosses - ideally with someone who sent just before you, and someone that sent just after, so no matter how the group may get split, you get an active. Just ask in guild chat, and you will surely find lots of others willing to help out.
If you do not send to dungeon while you are in town, you can send back after to a low-waste town, finish your quest in red health or hit the arena.
Strategy Two - Arena
Just the same as non-templed, you can hit the arena to try to get enough gold, or when you already have enough and do not want to waste. Keep in mind templed arena is high-risk, especially if you are not already practiced. If you do not get enough after your match, you can still dungeon and you will not waste - this can be a good method for the very high level pets.
Modern Chronicles of Asylum
On day 3845 g.e., Mrkef was elected as a leader of Asylum with following nomination speech: I am offering my service as a despotic tyrant. I will steal your bubblewrap, redistribute it as i please to my most faithful underlings, change rank of most respected members of our madhouse against their will, fire shizophrenic hydra and choose another monster as my personal bodyguard to protect all your... my bubblewrap! Also you all will have a bath at least once a week (cold water only!), heating will be turned off during workdays (you should be out questing anyway) and no telly for anyone under level 100! I pledge to come up at least once a week with some very cruel house rule to terorize you and drive you insane - if you are not crazy you dont belong to Asylum, and i will make sure you will all be and never ever leave! (unless when questing or fetching me fresh rolls of bubblewrap) By this vote, members of the guild confirmed they all belong to Asylum. There was only one member voting againts, and surely it wasn't our supreme leader as he personally casted first vote of elections to himself. Luckily Mrkef declared himself winner without even looking at results, lets hope he will never find out. Since history is written by winner as they say, let us all celebrate now this wonderful moment of democracy turning into despotic tyrany.
On day 3847 g.e. our beloved supreme leader announced the first house rule. To no surprise, one of those he promissed in his nomination speech: "Heating will be turned off during workdays!" Kind reader, notice that exclamation mark - he is mad with power, mad i say! At least it is weekend coming and we have two days to stock up on bubble wrap (of course because of its amazing thermal isolation properties).
day 3855 g.e. Yesterday our beloved supreme leader announced the second house rule. "Floor is lava!" was kind of unexpected and resulted in slight panic amongst inmates, particulary those unfortunate fellows who are mistaking floor and ceiling and thought lava is pouring on them from above. Everyone else quickly found a higher ground, be it on furniture or less lucky guildmates. After short discussion we came to consensus that lava floor is a good thing when heating is turned off for most of the week and praised our supreme leader in his wisdom. There were terrifying screams of joy whole night from cells of lower ranked inmates too poor to afford a bed.
Todays newspapers fell on the floor and caught fire therefore I am not sure what day is today. Anyway, third house rule was announced recently: "Licking one's eyeball is forbidden!" Most of us are physically unable to lick our own eyeballs anyway - so no harm done. As for poor Kayl, we will be licking those sad eyeballs on shifts. Now i have to put these chronicles somewhere safe far from floor for them not to meet fate of pile of ash that was newspapers.
day 3870 g.e. "I rule!" No, not me of course. I am only a mere messenger from past long forgotten, writing these chronicles in hope that You - future reader - will learn from our mistakes and avoid electing someone offering to be "despotic tyrant" as a leader. Like if we can forget that - when floor is lava, despite that we are freezing from monday till friday and there are limited possibilities of eyeballs licking - he announced "I rule!" as a fourth house rule.