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Revision as of 02:21, 14 April 2019 by Cowabungallow (talk | contribs) (Added details on how to craft using the inventory list, and reference to the multiple commands.)
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Display of artifacts at the Godville Museum.

Artifacts are items which a hero may find while out questing. Monsters usually carry them around and some even fall from the sky from time to time at the whim of the gods. Most are useless pieces of junk which not even a beggar would find tasteful, but a minority are ancient rarities, or advantageous potions.

A list of artifacts the hero is currently carrying appears in their inventory, which will grow in size as the hero attains higher Levels. The hero will sell them all for gold when they next visit a town. That is their only use heroes know about but their clever gods know otherwise...

There is a plethora of special artifacts with special abilities. Most are very rare though:

Very rarely, when the hero is bored, by rummaging idly in his knapsack he may be able to combine a few artifacts into a single rare and expensive bold artifact. This is not the only surprise in store for heroes as one or two may decide to randomly disappear at times.

List of Artifacts

How to use

You can tell your hero to examine an artifact by putting its name in quotes in a Voice of god message, such as:

 examine "portable photon generator"

It's important to remember that your hero may not listen, so you might have to keep trying. If the hero chooses to listen, a variety of things could occur--some beneficial, and some useless. The hero will usually examine the item you specify, but he might well pick a random item, and if you don't specify an item, he certainly will pick a random one.

The possible outcomes are:

  • hero loses the artifact (breaks it, etc.)
  • hero loses the artifact but gets a different one instead
  • hero finds some gold coins inside the artifact
  • hero finds another artifact inside the artifact
  • hero loses the artifact but gains experience points


This allows heroes to make new artifacts using whatever stuff they have in their backpacks. Heroes are too lazy to do that on their own, but a proper voice of god command, like “combine X and Y”, should give them a much required push. Keep in mind that according to the Godville’s twisted laws of physics, only the items that start with the same letter could be successfully combined into a new item. Not only it's fun on its own, there's also a chance to craft a certain item that a god might want.

Crafting can be used to attempt creating one of the Activatable Artifacts. For example, giving the voice command "Combine “Darwin award” and “Dose of reality”” might create a Deus ex machina. Specifically useful artifacts for this are those that start with the letters B, C, D, G, I, and M, because they can create a Box with a question mark, a Continuum transfunctioner, a Deus ex machina, a Dimensional destabilizer, a Gift of fate, Improbability drive, or a Mystery box.

It used to be the case that the new item would begin with the same letter as the combined items, but on January 5, 2015, a dream machine and a Darwin award combined into an alternate reality cheque. On January 23, 2015, a misplaced confidence and a mental block combined into a root of all evil. On August 28, 2015, a seed of doubt and a silver bullet combined into an evil laugh track.

There are several crafting commands, which are interchangeable, and described on the Voice Of God page in more detail. A simpler method is let the game build the command for you by selecting the first artifact from your inventory, which will then give you a list of other artifacts with which you may combine that artifact. The resulting command is placed in the command line of your Remote Control. Remember to hit the Send button for the command to actually be issued. This is useful in case your hero started doing something else while you were busy looking at the inventory--this works best if they are not in the middle of fighting a monster or in town, like most voice commands.

Heroes will generally refuse to combine gold bricks and boss monster artifacts (like "Ear of the...").

Typical Diary Entries: Crafting Failure and Success

!Hero's Diary
08:26 PM I fiercely combined the bananalyzer and bag with 99 red doubloons into one piece, gave it some filing and got a box with a question mark.

08:26 PM Saw “Compile Bananalyzer and Bag with 99 red doubloons” spelled out in smoke. You really should think of a more environmentally friendly way to get your message across, Exalted One.

08:25 PM The voices in my head are telling me to do things. Is that you, Almighty, or did I forget to take my medicine?

08:24 PM I ate a fortune cookie and the note inside said: “Compile Bananalyzer and Bag with 99 red doubloons.”