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Display of artifacts at the Godville Museum.

Artifacts are items which a hero may find while out questing. Monsters usually carry them around and some even fall from the sky from time to time at the whim of the gods. Most are useless pieces of junk which not even a beggar would find tasteful, but a minority are ancient rarities, or advantageous potions.

Follow this link to see the complete List of Artifacts


General Information

A list of artifacts the hero is currently carrying appears in their inventory, which will grow in size as the hero attains higher Levels. The hero will sell them all for gold when they next visit a town. That is their only use heroes know about but their clever gods know otherwise...

There is also a plethora of special artifacts which are more rare :

Examine command

You can tell your heroine to examine an artifact by putting its name in quotes in a Voice of god message, such as:

examine "portable photon generator"

It's important to remember that your hero may not listen, so you might have to keep trying. If the hero chooses to listen, a variety of things could occur--some beneficial, and some useless. The hero will usually examine the item you specify, but he might well pick a random item, and if you don't specify an item, he certainly will pick a random one.

The possible outcomes are:

  • hero loses the artifact (breaks it, etc.)
  • hero loses the artifact but gets a different one instead
  • hero finds some gold coins inside the artifact
  • hero finds another artifact inside the artifact
  • hero loses the artifact but gains experience points

Crafting command

Heroines can make new artifacts using whatever stuff they have in their backpacks. Heroes are too lazy to do that on their own, but a proper voice of god command should give them a much required push :

combine "Artifact X" and "Artifact Y"

There are several crafting commands, which are interchangeable, and described on the Voice Of God page in more detail.

A simpler method is let the game build the command for you by selecting the first artifact from your inventory, which will then give you a list of other artifacts with which you may combine that artifact.

The resulting command is placed in the command line of your Remote Control. Remember to hit the Send button for the command to actually be issued. This is useful in case your hero started doing something else while you were busy looking at the inventory--this works best if they are not in the middle of fighting a monster or in town, like most voice commands.

Heroes will generally refuse to combine gold bricks, tribbles, and boss monster artifacts (like "Ear of the...").

The result of combining artifacts in descending order of probability:

bold artifact + artifact = bold artifact, activatable artifact (@), artifact.

bold artifact + bold artifact = activatable artifact (@), bold artifact.

bold artifact + activatable artifact (@) = activatable artifact (@), bold artifact.

activatable artifact (@) + artifact = activatable artifact (@), bold artifact.

activatable artifact (@) + activatable artifact (@) = activatable artifact (@).

artifact + artifact = artifact, bold artifact, activatable artifact (@), artifact.

Typical Diary Entries: Crafting Failure and Success

!Hero's Diary
08:26 PM I fiercely combined the bananalyzer and bag with 99 red doubloons into one piece, gave it some filing and got a box with a question mark.

08:26 PM Saw “Compile Bananalyzer and Bag with 99 red doubloons” spelled out in smoke. You really should think of a more environmentally friendly way to get your message across, Exalted One.

08:25 PM The voices in my head are telling me to do things. Is that you, Almighty, or did I forget to take my medicine?

08:24 PM I ate a fortune cookie and the note inside said: “Compile Bananalyzer and Bag with 99 red doubloons.”

Bold Artifacts

Bold Artifacts are special artifacts that your hero may come across while questing. Hence their names, these artifacts appear Bold in the inventory.

Your hero will not find these types of artifacts very often as they are quite rare, however, these items will fetch a higher price than normal artifacts while conducting trade with a merchant.

The god can urge the hero to use any bold artifact in the same manner as any other artifact; although there is a chance the hero will lose (destroy, etc) the artifact in question, so it doesn't make any sense to lose a bold (expensive) one when there are cheaper alternatives.

Healing Artifacts

These artifacts are the only ones which can be bought by a heroine at a town. Occasionally they may be found during a quest but this is very rare. The names of these artifacts appear in italics in the inventory.

How to use

Heroines will usually keep these items on them after purchase. They will not sell them and will use them to attempt to heal themselves when they are on low health. They will do this automatically and a god has no say over the matter.


A healing artifact can only be used once and the results may vary:

  • Increase in health — this is what they are meant to do; can heal around 40 (in the case of antidepressants) to 120 hp.
  • Increase in experience — the hero misread the label when purchasing or was tricked by a sneaky trader.
  • Damage to monster — hero threw it at a monster, who was allergic to it, or even poisoned by it.
  • Absolutely nothing — known as a 'healing dud', they are often just bottles of water with added food colouring.

Monsters' Artifacts

Some Monsters carry special artifacts around with them which are not found anywhere else. These artifacts appear to be normal or bold and are only worth a little more than normal ones so they are not anything to get excited about, but they are a nice surprise for a hero.

If a monster has an artifact associated with it, it will always give it to the hero when defeated in battle.

Activatable Artifacts

Activatable artifacts can be found by heroines while questing. Like bold artifacts, they are worth a higher price then normal artifacts. Each has a special effect which can only be activated by a goddess, since heroines are too stupid to work out how. Use caution, though, as these artifacts are the rarest ones a hero can find.

They are always annotated with an @ symbol in the inventory, and most of the activatable artifacts also have their name bolded. Some require 50 Godpower to be activated while others don't need any.

How to use


Position the mouse cursor over the @ symbol to view a description of the artifact's effect upon activation, as well as any cost associated with activating the artifact. Activate the artifact by clicking the @ symbol.


Tap the @ symbol to view a description of the artifact's effect upon activation, as well as any cost associated with activating the artifact. If the artifact is able to be activated (i.e. if sufficient godpower is available), an activation button will also be displayed.

Black Boxes

This item can affect your hero in a good or bad way (requires 50% of godpower to activate this item)

Black Boxes is the name given to activable artifacts sharing the same activatable effect quoted as above. Overall, positive effects are much more likely than negative effects. [1]

"Black Box" Activatable Artifacts 
Box with a question mark • Continuum transfunctioner • Davy Jones’ locker • Deus ex machina • Dimensional destabilizer • Improbability drive • Mystery box • Pandora's box • Wonderbox

Positive outcomes

Negative outcomes

See also