Armageddon survival manual
End of the world? My, my! You've got the right book for it! This manual will show you how to: put on skinny jeans right, feed wild pumpkins, tree bark correctly and fight demons (with the help of the lord) with the right gear of course! Also it shows you how to: take a bath without being killed, broiled, eaten and pooped out! Make sure to save money too, you'll be going to the bar more than ever. Remember to keep a cross on you, with all the heresy goin' on you'll need it for sure!
Just don't die!