User:Dr Moriarty

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Notes on ideabox submissions (I can't claim to be a true expert on getting acceptances - I've only had 15 accepted, but that still places me 120th on 'Gratitude' pantheon. I am an expert on rejected submissions, with 156 total submissions and 141 rejected, which is an acceptance rate of merely 9.6%)


Some general suggestions for your submission:

- If you have a number get rejected, try not to take it personally - after all, the process is anonymous now. Nobody is picking on you. Look over your rejected comments, and see if there is a common thread to them, or specific reasons that they might have been rejected. Learn from this!

- If your submissions are getting a lot of votes, ask yourself, "how often do I vote on other people's ideas?" Ideabox only works if people are voting. Vote as you would like to be voted.

- Double check for grammatical errors. No, TRIPLE check. NAY: QUADRUPLE CHECK.

- Don't tie the joke to a recent pop culture event. It won't hold up in the game, and reviewers might have a different view than you do.

- By the same token, stay away from politics, religion, and things that only work for one gender of hero/heroine or the other.

- Don't curse, use unsavory language, or write a submission that puts anybody else down, especially other heroes or guilds. Sometimes a good submission will poke fun at %random_guild% or %random_hero%, but those are few and far between.

- In general, it seems that even if it makes it past ER, submissions with some sort of sexual joke (pets, heros, anything) get shot down by the developers. If it's explicit it will get flagged - if it's subtle ("Scratchy always gets a little TOO excited around other %pet_class%....") it will likely get rejected by the devs.

- LEARN THE CODING FOR VARIABLES IN YOUR SUBMISSION. Including the right variable won't mean your submission will get accepted, but having wrong or specific terms in their place may get it rejected. They are listed on this wiki page: [1]

- If you have time, go ahead and just read the whole ideabox page: [2] (You must have time, if you're reading this ....)

- Sometimes you do submit something absolutely hilarious that gets rejected. Shrug it off - you know you're awesome, it don't matter none what others think.


My Experiences / Data - First 37 submissions: REJECTED

- accepted: 1

- 26 more REJECTED

- accepted: 4

- 21 more REJECTED

- accepted: 1

- 23 more REJECTED

- accepted: 2

- 6 more REJECTED

- accepted: 1

- 2 more REJECTED

- accepted: 1

- 24 more REJECTED

- accepted: 3

- 2 more REJECTED

- accepted: 2

- 4 more REJECTED

-accepted: 3

(141 rejected, 18 accepted)

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From this, you can see that (with the exception of the one final outlier of 24 rejections), that my submissions have been trending towards more acceptances in fewer attempts.


All My Accepted Submissions

- ton of fun (artifact)

- I paused for a second to collect my thoughts. Literally one second. Onward! (While traveling)

- The two heroes paused to stare menacingly at each other for a moment, so that an innocent tumble weed could safely cross the arena. (Duels)

- A special edition of the Godville Times landed on my doorstep with the headline, “%voice_of_god%.” In related news, my doorstep appeared out of nowhere. (voice from own god)

- A gentle wind blew the scent of beer from a nearby pub across %hero_name%'s corner, raising %his/her% spirits and health considerably. %God_name% knows how to treat a hero! (Duels, encouragement)

- After a long night celebrating the completion of my last quest, I woke up in a strange barn with a note pinned to my shirt commanding, %quest_title%. I'll start on that after a quick nap. (On getting a new quest)

- As I was leaving the shop, %pet_name% pulled out a piece of bark with “%pet_type% Guild Member” scrawled into it. Impressed, the shop owner gave us %x% coins! (encouragement in shop)

- take two aspirin and quest again in the morning (quest)

- test the limits of an All-You-Can-Eat buffet (quest)

- Received %gold% for sweeping up the guild headquarters and emptying the trashcan inside our suggestion box. (returning to town)

- A preacher in the town square was telling people about where they will go when they die. I offered some of my firsthand experience, but was only met with horrified stares. (while resting in town)

- %pet_type% fanciers magazine (artifact)

- I feel oddly compelled to write the words '%god_voice%' into my diary. (voice from own god)

- Spent %gold% at the tavern, and questioned the role beer plays in my life. Specifically, is it a large enough role? (spending money in town)

- Ran into %random_friend% on the road. We tried to reminisce about the “good ol' days,” but our diaries only go back a few minutes. (meeting friend during quest)

- The tree next to me audibly sighed with satisfaction and looked much greener. Did you miss target practice this week, %rg%? (This one got accepted after being resubmitted!)

- Ran into %random_friend% laying a wreath of flowers near one of my old tombstones, which read, “The Once and Future Home of %hero_name%.”

- I've been reborn! I've my thoughts are shockingly lucid, and my speech uncommonly coherent! This is unpleasant. Where's the nearest tavern?


Rejected Submissions

ARTIFACTS / ITEMS:

- Diss Array - Piece of Evidence - Occam's razor blade - An Inhibition Inhibitor - Mortal Coil - Tracking device - Mole's Skin - Lute - Plexiglass Slipper - Larger Loot Bag - Short Circuit - Button Collection - Token of Affection - ACME Rocket Pants - Weapon: Mentos and Diet Coke - Cuniform Typewriter - Weapon: Rolled-up Godville Times - thing-a-ma-bob - field guide to common monsters - “godville thyme” seed packet - whole kit and caboodle - home brewing kit - Legs: seven deadly shins - Talisman: brass monk's key - Shield: nearby bush - loose leaf - hot commodity - sun tauntaun lotion - “sure-lock homes” brand lock - Weapon: baseball bat with a nail driven through it - Shield: nearest human - Weapon: Thunder Ball - handy dandy notebook - imaginary friendship bracelet - candied heart - Talisman: gold star sticker

MONSTERS:

- Cornish Game Sprite - Whirling Dervish of Pain - Killer Monster Snow Goon - Soul-Sucking Gob - Acceleraptor - Elephant In A Room - Darned Dirty Ape - Walking Fred - Sun Tauntaun - Vengeful Spirit - Undeadbeat - Anemone Combatant - Unstable Geologist - Benedictine Punk - Ghostly Writer

DIARY, DUELS, QUESTS, ETC:

- "A monk told me that our gods make us in their image. Thank you, Exalted One, for being a sexy god."

- "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by monsters."

- "A %monster name% told me hat I had a 'Kick Me' sign on my back. I turned in a circle trying to get it off - now I'm a bit lost..."

- "Had a brilliant idea on how to save money on clothing - i just hope I'll finish learning how to knit by the time I have enough belly-button lint."

- "I accidentally hit a chicken with my weapon a few times. Next thing I know, a dozen of them were flying around pecking at me. Where did they all come from?"

- "Oh Creator of All Things, why did you make beetles look so good if they taste so bad?"

- "Oh Great one, I am not cursing when I shout "Damn it!" at a %monster%. I expect lightening bolts."

- "My path crossed a very long road paved with yellow bricks. Unfortunately, they weren't gold, but on the plus side I did slay a lion."

- "Following breadcrumbs, hoping they lead down the right path..."

- "I lost my favorite crayon, forcing me to write this in pencil."

- "Finding the right path through process of elimination..."

- " Searching for the right path via pure guesswork...."

- "Learn how to carry a tune in a bucket."

- "Defragment Humpty-Dumpty's hard shell."

- "Actually find the right path."

- "make a little birdhouse in my soul."

- "gain experience by mindlessly slaughtering the local fauna."

- "find out how many milestones a hero must walk past to be called a hero."

- "let Prince Albert out of the can"

- "Why is it I always arrive right AFTER the damsel in distress gets eaten by the %monster%?"

- "Heard a call for help and looked up to see %friend's name% hanging from a rope by their foot. Good news is I got them down, bad news is I didn't catch dinner."

- "I ate something that disagreed with me, thereby winning the argument."

- "%Attacker% swung and hit %defender%, causing %X% points of damage. The crowd marveled at the subtly in the technique."

- "%Defender% tried to brandish %his/her% weapon menacingly, but dropped it clumsily. %Attacker% led the entire arena in a slow clap, and a demoralized %defender% lost %X% HP from shame."

- "A Godville Times reporter asked the heroes to hold their poses for his news painter, promising the art will be featured in the next issue. The heroes took to opportunity to silently offer prayers."

- "live long and prosper."

- "%Defender% noticed his/her shoe was loose, and knelt to retie it at the exact moment %attacker% lunged forward. %Attacker% went back to their corner grumbling something about 'miserable turn-based systems,' while %defender% stood back up unscathed."

- "Exhausted, %hero% took a long drink from %his/her% water bottle, only to find it had turned to beer! %god_name%'s wonderful gesture restores %x% health in the hero!"

- "%attacker% led %his/her% fans in pelting %defender% with rotten fruit, leading to light physical and severe emotional damage."

- "capture the flag"

- "apologize to the families of slain monsters"

- "do the hustle"

- "create a goldfish using only a trout, glue, and gold leaf"

- "A frightened looking black cat crossed my path. Fortunately for my luck, it was in the jaws of a %monster%. Release that poor feline, you fiend!"

- "serve jury duty"

- "pretend to be on a quest"

- "I can't remember what happened after the pub last night, but I'm missing several stamps and envelopes. Hopefully my friends will ignore those letters."

- "N te to s lf: Buy m re ink."

- "Good God! I hurt myself...."

- "The tree next to me audibly sighed with satisfaction and looked much greener. Did you miss target practice this week, Great One?"

- "The %monster% withered away and a large, floating gold ring appeared. As I touched it, the ring disappeared, but my purse suddenly had an additional %gold% coins!"

- "make a well-informed decision"

- "This trail seems to drag on for ever - I wonder how far it is until the next milestone?"

- "A %monster% came up and shook my hand, then suddenly grasped my fingers in a fist and shouted, “1-2-3-4, I declare a thumb war!” To battle!"

- "Face planted. Next time I'll use a trowel."

- "dance like nobody's watching"

- "Walked straight to the front of the clinic line and showed my guild rank - got immediate treatment. Power may corrupt, but absolute power is kind of neat!"

- "A giant billboard appeared with the words “YOU'RE FEELING MUCH BETTER NOW” written across it in fire - and it was right, I am! Thank you for sending me this sign, %rg%!"

- "Whenever I get lonely questing, I just look up at the heavens and realize that I'm never alone when I have my best friend up there looking down on me. I love you, little fluffy cloud named Clarence!"

- "The heavens opened and it began raining pennies! Too bad we use gold coins here, and falling metal really hurts. Didn't really think that one through, %rg%."

- "find Zod and kneel before him"

- "deliver a basket of baked goods safely to Grandmother's."

- "Gnawing on the %monster% 's leg to try and gain it's power..."

- "find a sponser for Q.A. - Questaholics Anonymous"

- "err on the side of caution"

- "sign below the dotted line"

- "run a complete investigation into who ate the cookie from the cookie jar."

- "find any port in a storm"

- "explore the bits on the map that are blacked out"

- "measure twice and cut once"

- "become that which {you l I} ate"

- "I showed %friend_name% some of the recent adventures recorded my diary - they were astounded at its grammatical correctness. Looking over it now, I am too...."

- "rock around the clock"

- "come up with more fake diary entries at the tavern"

- "A helpful bartender offered me a sidequest while at the tavern - I think the point of the game was to earn money, but I was fairly uncoordinated at that point. Wound up losing %x% coins."

- "I have some money saved up because I thought it was time for a new diary, but everything except the last ten entries seems to have disappeared from this one. To the tavern!"

- "journey to the hinterlands to find Dr. Livingston"

- "*Hiccup*"

- "walk and chew bubblegum at the same time"

- "Sneezed loudly and a voice behind me said, “Bless you ... oops.” I spun around to find a %monster% towering over me, sheepishly holding a fork and knife. To battle!"

- "enter the Realm of Possibility"

- "prevent the inevitable"

- "investigate other possible careers"

- "break up the %random_artifact% counterfeiting ring"

- "A swarm of fireflies descended upon %current_town% and put on a magnificent synchronized display! As the gathered crowd cheered, the fireflies spelled out, “Brought to you by %guild_name%,” increasing our influence here!"

- "The %monster% didn't have anything of value, so I used it's femur to play fetch with my %pet_type% - but %pet_name% came back with a %artifact% instead!"

- "A monk told me about kharmic reincarnation - if that's true, why do I keep coming back as myself, %rg%?"

- "Saw %random_friend% finish off a %random_monster% and mutter, “Hope your insurance was paid off.” Do I need a cool phrase? How about, “Your warrenty is void!” Or maybe, “Return to sender!”"

- "LOLing at cats..."

- "Testing potential pickup lines in {his¦her} pet..."

- "I was ready to receive your word for once, %rg%! Well, don't expect me to be so attentive next time - I learned my lesson."

- "I once heard streching out on the ground and pretending to be dead will confuse a %monster%, so that they will leave you alone. Now I know it doesn't work and stops being pretend incredibly fast."

- "devise method to turn time into experience"

- "Set %x% gold aside for a garden to surround your temple, %rg%. I'm developing a nice little hedge fund for you!"

- "%Pet_name% made a small effigy of the %monster%, made some strange guttural noises and raised it's paws. The doll and monster burned away leaving %artifact%, %x% gold, and an innocent looking %pet_kind%."

- "Met %friend_name% resting by the road. Together we came up with a great idea to speed up our quests, then drank ourselves silly in celebration. We woke up unable to remember anything else."

- "Spent some time at the tavern trying to think of a new way to waste money, but was stumped. Paid the %gold% gold coins on my tab and left."

- "Chatted a bit with %random_friend%. We couldn't figure out how there is just one road between all the towns, yet there are so many wrong paths to go down."

- "Paid %pet_name% the standard amount in kibble, then hopped on their back and sped past several milestones."

- "No"

- "Met an angry young man who claimed to be the rightful king of Denmark, and was questing to kill his Uncle to take the throne. I believed him, as he seemed Dane-ish."

- "I think I'll stop in at %current_town% and remove any 'wanted' posters that have a good likeness of me. I'll even heal up and drop off this loot, while I'm at it."

- "Felt thirsty. Drank."

- "Stopped by the %hero_guild% mansion and found %gold% coins in my mailbox! Also, I found out I had a mailbox!"