Djonni

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Vitalstatistix

God GodDjonni 庙畜 the Great
Moloch the god.gif
Hero: Djonniboy
Personality: Adjective
Domain: God of perfectly shaped spoons
Gender: Divine
Motto: In ƒor a penny! ✔
Guild: The Forsakens Lament
Gratitude: 🏆 24th
Might: 🏆 8600th
Templehood: 🏆 11169th
Storytelling: 🏆 2nd

April 2018: Returning from a ~3 year absence I'm pleased to see I've cheerfully overshot the Honoured Renegade achievement, and still have a top-50 position in a couple of Pantheons! Getting to grips with the many changes and improvements before I become too active again. For all those that have contacted me over the last few years, my apologies for the very, very late replies.


I live in Canberra, Australia, so GMT+10 the Czech Republic, so GMT+1. If you live near me or are traveling near me we can meet up.

I will happily give feedback on chronicles if asked nicely.

In fact, I will pretty happily help with anything if asked nicely, if RL doesn't get in the way.

I am mostly active in the Workmen's Area and Main Square. It's not that I don't like roleplaying, I just don't have enough time for it :)

Things Wot I Dun

Idiot boxing

Hero
Quest
#1
Have an idea accepted for every category
  • To fix a bug ✔ 9 March 2015 ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔
  • Awesome ideas ✔ 8 November 2018 9/9
  • Towns ✔ 24 April 2018 ✔✔
Next Station; Bad Gateway (at milestone 502)
"Accepted", but not on map: Graveston
  • Pet names ✔ 20 May 2018 ✔✔✔
Confirmed: Thumper; Snuffles; Chip; Null.
  • Taverns ✔ 7 May 2018 ✔✔✔✔
  • Notifications ✔ 7 October 2014 ✔✔✔🙅
Upon death: "Dead? Again? Take your time, I could use the rest!"
Upon death: "Another opportunity to be resurrected! Yay!"
Upon leveling up: "A level older, and yet no wiser."
Upon arrival in town: "Through the gates of %town%..."
Approved 15 Nov 2018, and then cruelly un-approved an hour or two later!: "Finally, the %artifact_base% I've always wanted!"
  • Boss mottos ✔ 8 November 2018
Confirmed: "You killed my father!"
  • Death Rattles ✔ 5 May 2018 ✔✔
Confirmed: "A plague o' both your houses!"; "One to beam up!"
Unconfirmed: "I'm melting, melting!"
  • Territories ✔ 13 November 2018
Approved, unconfirmed: The Valley of the Blind
  • Quest Endings ✔ 31 January 2015 ✔✔✔
  • Other ✔ 18 March 2015 ✔✔✔
  • Diary entries 63% 24/38
  • Random occurrences 55% 6/11
  • While traveling ✔ 22 January 2015 ✔✔✔✔✔
  • During a fight with a monster ✔ 26 April 2014
  • While hero is dead ✔ 29 January 2015 ✔
  • While healing ✔ 20 February 2015 ✔✔
  • While trading ✔ 3 July 2018
  • While resting ✔ 8 July 2014 ✔✔✔✔✔
  • While sleeping
  • While praying
  • During temple construction
  • While waiting for an arena opponent
  • For a hero-trader
  • Events 71% 12/17
  • On meeting a strong monster ✔ 7 February 2015 ✔
  • On fleeing from the monster ✔ 8 April 2018 ✔
  • On death from the monster
  • On defeating the monster ✔ 6 November 2014 ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔
  • On loss of the artifact ✔ 12 April 2018 ✔
  • On resurrection
  • On turning back to town (to heal) ✔ 7 June 2018
  • On turning back to town (to sell) ✔ 21 February 2015
  • On spending gold in a town ✔ 5 February 2015
  • On donating/sacrificing while praying in town
  • On selling of an expensive artifact ✔ 24 February 2015
  • On finishing selling off the loot ✔ 21 March 2015
  • On getting a new quest ✔ 17 July 2014
  • On depositing savings ✔ 8 April 2018
  • On aura end
  • On arrival to town
  • Fishing ✔ 25 May 2018
  • Influence related 56% 5/9
  • Voice from own god ✔ 10 May 2014
  • Voice from some other god
  • Response to a god voice ✔ 6 February 2015
  • Encourage influence response ✔ 9 March 2015
  • Punish influence response
  • Miracle influence response
  • Guild miracle in town
  • Making a brick with an influence ✔ 7 September 2014 ✔
  • On ignoring the god voice ✔ 19 February 2015 ✔
  • Others ✔ 7 September 2014 ✔✔✔✔
  • Earthly News 56% 14/25
  • Random Occurrences 55% 6/11
  • When traveling ✔ 5 February 2015
  • When healing ✔ 9 March 2015 ✔✔
  • When resting in a town ✔ 19 March 2015
  • During temple construction
  • When selling loot
  • Waiting for... 2/3
    • Arena ✔ 25 May 2014
    • Dungeon
    • Sail ✔ 8 April 2018
  • When waiting for resurrection
  • When praying ✔ 5 February 2015
  • When fishing
  • Monster Fight 50% 3/6
  • When meeting a monster ✔ 8 March 2015
  • When fighting a monster ✔ 24 February 2015
  • When hitting the monster
  • When hit by the monster ✔ 20 March 2015
  • When defeating a monster
  • When fleeing from fight
  • Transportation 67% 2/3
  • "Searching for the right path via..."
  • "Through the mires and swamps..." ✔ 18 February 2015 ✔
  • When returning to a town ✔ 18 February 2015 ✔
  • Others 60% 3/5
  • Remote control action response ✔ 24 February 2015
  • Searching for the hero ✔ 5 February 2015
  • Hero-trader: waiting
  • Hero-trader: trading
  • Other ✔ 7 March 2015
  • Duels 14% 2/14
  • Fight Log 11% 1/9
  • Hero hit
  • Hero miss
  • Use of a skill
  • Random phrase
  • Boss hit
  • Boss miss
  • Duel start
  • Duel end
  • Other ✔ 27 May 2014 ✔
  • Influences 20% 1/5
  • Encourage
  • Punish
  • Miracle
  • God voice
  • Reaction to a god voice ✔ 7 June 2014
  • Dungeons 13% 2/16
  • Rooms 50% 2/4
  • Empty room ✔ 8 April 2018 ✔✔✔
This exact text writes itself onto the walls as the heroes enter the room.
Sinister forces are at work here, and don't even look up when the heroes come into the room. Possibly my most popular Ideabox submission ever, with 10 ER votes.
The walls have alcoves dug into them full of peculiar bones, mysterious mummified shapes, and unfathomable offerings to the dead. How cryptic.
The floor of this room is a carpet of cold, half-drunk cups of tea.
  • Hint room ✔ 6 April 2018
A senile old man describes a great treasure to the %dir%, and then immediately describes a great treasure to the %dir%.
  • Trap room
  • Bonus room
  • Directions 0% 0/2
  • Available directions
  • Heroes move to
  • Events 17% 1/6
  • Descend into dungeon
  • Boss nearby hint
  • Boss encounter
  • Treasure room
  • Rare random event ✔ 10 June 2018
%attacker% hears faint echoes of children laughing, but nobody else does.
  • Other
  • Influences 0% 0/4
  • Encourage
  • Punish
  • Miracle
  • God voice
  • Sail 0% 0/21
  • Islands 0% 0/6
  • Empty island
  • Food supplies
  • Ark repair
  • Pray shrine
  • Booty hint
  • Lighthouse
  • Beasties 0% 0/3
  • Appear
  • Death no loot
  • Death with loot
  • Pirating 0% 0/3
  • Battle start
  • Battle end
  • Battle flee
  • Influence 0% 0/4
  • Encourage
  • Punish
  • Miracle
  • God voice
  • Others 0% 0/5
  • Sail start
  • Sail end
  • Booty/maniman/fenimal
  • Vortex
  • Other
  • Quests 75% 3/4
  • Ordinary ✔ 24 January 2015 ✔✔✔
Accepted, never seen in game: find the square root of the tree of life; arrange a bag of M&Ms in alphabetical order; sneak into a ninja convention; test the security of the Godville Treasury
  • Epic ✔ 13 June 2014
Accepted, never seen in game: make a complete map of Godville
  • Mini
  • Side Job ✔ 12 November 2018
  • Monsters ✔ 17 January 2015 100% 3/3
  • Normal ✔ 17 January 2015 ✔
Accepted, not yet confirmed: Repatriarch
Accepted, not in game: Gym Reaper
On the other hand, accepted as equipment but in game as a monster: Trouble Shooter
  • Beasties ✔ 4 December 2018
Accepted, not yet confirmed: Strangler Fish
  • Seasonal ✔ 11 November 2018 ✔✔✔✔
  • Artifacts 67% 2/3
  • Ordinary ✔ 29 April 2014 ✔✔✔✔
Confirmed: bunch of baloney, region lock
Accepted long ago, never seen in game: plans for world domination, push notification, article of incorporation
  • Activatable ✔ 29 August 2014
Accepted long ago, never seen in game: career assignment chip (@) (grants mini-quest)
  • Healing
  • Equipment 86% 6/7
  • Weapon ✔ 6 August 2014 ✔✔
Submitted as equipment, in game as a monster: trouble shooter
Never seen in game: starboard bow, awful racquet
  • Shield
  • Head ✔ 20 July 2018
Accepted, never seen: moral compress
  • Body ✔ 19 March 2015
Confirmed: security breeches
  • Arms ✔ 8 February 2015
  • Legs ✔ 20 February 2015 ✔
Confirmed: corduroy ninja outfit
Accepted, never seen: foot note¹
  • Talisman ✔ 9 October 2014 ✔✔✔
Submitted as equipment, in game as an artifact: short fuse
Confirmed: karma police badge
Never seen in game: offensive flag, compass rose
  • News for the Newspaper 67% 8/12
  • By-Line ✔ 10 March 2015 ✔✔✔✔✔✔
Elementary, my dear Godville • Godville, we have a problem • Straight from the purse • Papercut-proof edition • Women and children first • Go ahead, laugh • Don't encourage us
  • Weather Forecast
  • Famous Heroes ✔ 9 March 2015
Could {|s}he be %random_town%'s most eligible bachelor{|ette}? Our correspondents say, “No.”
  • Wanted Monsters ✔ 12 March 2015 ✔
The Furriers Guild is offering a gold brick reward for any %random_monster% captured dead or alive, but only if definitely not alive.
The Transcendentalist Society announces a reward for anyone brave enough to retrieve the venom sac from a mature %monster% in time for tomorrow's session. Fresh or dried acceptable.
  • Guild Spotlight ✔ 10 June 2018
%guild_name% is in the %v% position in the %pantheon%, unlikely though it seems. Some of the %v% members have been heard calling each other “%high_level_rank%”.
  • Buy and Sell ✔ 22 February 2015 ✔
An urgent recall had been issued on any %artifact_base% sold since 1750 g.e. A reward for their return is being offered to prevent any further deaths.
A new cap-and-trade scheme on %artifact_base% production has led to a price spike. Sellers are invited to apply for registration for the scheme at any authorised agency.
  • Ads
  • Ideabox News 2/3
  • Submissions
  • ER contribution ✔ 6 March 2015
%god_name% has been heard complaining about the cost of red pens from all {his||her} ER editing.
  • Ideabox contribution ✔ 1 July 2018
At this rate, %god_name% will soon have enough ingenious pieces to make an entire ingenious.
  • Breaking News
  • Copyright Statement ✔ 24 February 2015 ✔✔✔✔
It was the best of Times, it was the worst of Times.
I'm held prisoner in the printer's warehouse, please send help.
Ignore the man behind the curtain.
By reading this sentence you agree to read this sentence.
Printed using fully recycled content.

Total progress: 49.0% (75/153)

Accepted corrections: 42

IQ points converted: 1250

Complete list (Way out of date)

Wikipedantry

Hero
Quest
#2
Contribute 50 new/rewritten wiki pages
  1. Mace of Amnesia 19 February 2015
  2. Daily Forecast 22 March 2015
  3. Map of Godville rewrite 6 May 2018
  4. Town features 6 May 2018
  5. Navboxterritories 11 May 2018
  6. Blackboxendmatter 16 May 2018
  7. Navboxblackboxes 18 May 2018
  8. 4.8k update to List of Artifacts 27 May 2018
  9. Template:Navboxursidae 8 June 2018
  10. Omnipoet 11 November 2018

Things Wot I Dint Dun

To-Do

This is mostly for me, but... you may look.

* Figure out how to structure the seasonal events, and sort out the horrible navbox I made.

To-Didn't

!Favourite rejected ideas↻

A pair of street performers demanded to inspect my documents before I entered the city. Looks like the %current_town% City Watch has implemented two actor authentication.
I asked the %monster% if it dreads its own death. It suddenly became aware of life's existential isolation, sat in the dirt, and cried. Took %artifact% from its limp hands.
Monster of the Week
Performed CPR on the dying %monster% until it finally coughed up %gold%.

Took my percentage of the %monster%'s loot. Let's see now... Nothing, divided by nothing, carry the nothing... Got nothing. (Complete with Firefly reference!)

The bartender mistook me for the leader of “%random_guild%” and let me drink on their tab all night! Then he pinned me to the bar until I paid %gold% to settle their outstanding tab for the last month.

The %monster% mumbled, “It's not you, it's me,” as it left me. Well, if it thinks it's getting its %item% back it's dead wrong.

Offered to autograph the %artifact% to improve its value. The trader said my signature scent was already more than distinctive enough. Humbly accepted %gold% with the compliment.

As I struck the final blow, the %monster% shouted, “Don't misquote my last words!” Took its %gold% and %item% out of context.

I'd pray to you more often, %rg%, but I can't stand kneeling.

I have discovered a truly marvellous proof for the existence of the %rg% which this margin is too narrow to contain. (Fermet! Eh? Eh? Geddit? Bah.)

Things Wot I Is

Juliet Whiskey
Foxtrot X-Ray
Papa Romeo


« This may sound like gibberish to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy.
Harold Crick
»

On average, I'm a good person. What more can you hope for?


« The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
Elie Wiesel
»

Specialties: Marginalia; Verve and gusto


« Les grandes personnes m’ont conseillé de laisser de côté les dessins de serpents boas ouverts ou fermés, et de m’intéresser plutôt à la géographie, à l’histoire, au calcul et à la grammaire. C’est ainsi que j’ai abandonné, à l’âge de six ans, une magnifique carrière de peintre. J’avais été découragé par l’insuccès de mon dessin numéro 1 et de mon dessin numéro 2. Les grandes personnes ne comprennent jamais rien toutes seules, et c’est fatigant, pour les enfants, de toujours leur donner des explications.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
»

I'm a word nerd. Aren't you?


« We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld
»

Every time I hear the word ‘underlay,’ my brain silently shouts, “¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!”.

Also, when I read ‘rofl’, in my head it sounds like Scooby Doo saying ‘waffle’.


« Lord protect this rocket house, and all who dwell within this rocket house.
Homer Simpson
»

Sometimes I have a narrator in my head. He usually sounds like Morgan Freeman. Sometimes, though, it's Patrick Stewart. When I'm particularly tired or something, they meld together.

« I have no idea to this day what those two Klingon ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't wanna know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it cannot be expressed by a Universal Translator, and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you, those voices soared boldlier and farther than any life form in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird transported into our drab little cage and made those shields dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last humanoid on the Enterprise felt free. »