Undercover Elephant

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Monsters of Godville
Undercover Elephant
Elphas secretum
UndercoverElephant.jpg
Class Investigative elephant
Habitat Various Parked Cars
Description An undercover pachyderm

The Undercover Elephant (Elphas secretum) is a monster.

General

The Undercover Elephant (Elphas sscretum) is a pachyderm in a French coat and a haunting angled fedora. He would be rather stylish, were it not for the preposterousness of his outfit in the middle of the jungle, and that he was the only one acting out of traditional 'elephant' behaviour. Thus, he moved to the city where he works under cover, hence the name Undercover Elephant. He blends with his surroundings as well as a tree amid the concrete jungle. Don't let that fool you though, he is deadly.

He has been spotted here, there and everywhere, giving rise to the rumours that there is more than one, as he appears simultaneously in different parts of our world. This has given rise to the 'The Undercover Elephant Herd Conspiracy Theory' in which, as the title suggests, there maybe a whole herd of Undercover Elephants living beside us and we haven't a clue.

Before I get sidetracked, let me tell you a little more about this monster.

Have you ever gotten the feeling you were being watched, only to glance around and see merely an innocuous telephone pole, an innocent postbox, and a parked car sagging on its severely abused shock absorbers? Many heroes and heroines have, especially in the lonely stretches of countryside that surround Godville. It's a sure sign that someone has hired the private eye and private trunk of the Undercover Elephant to tail the poor champion. It's immensely distracting, since the hero or heroine gets continuous chills up and down his or her spine, whether knowing that the Undercover Elephant is there or not. And due to the Monsters' Code of Ethics, no other monster will attack the champion in the knowledge that the pachyderm is in the area.

Many heroes and heroines at first mistake their swath of peace for a stealth aura of pacifism, but most catch on when their quests do not progress despite how far they walk. Now alert to the likelihood that their feelings of being observed were not due to a watchful deity, they begin to search under every bush, behind every newspaper, and in every parked cart that they find. Eventually, they uncover the Elephant, challenging it to a fight, irons out.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Master of binocular surveillance, hardscape reconnoitering, and noir slang.
  • Teases prey by burning with a magnifying glass.
  • Fills out all masks by tucking its trunk into a devastatingly handsome, large chin.

Weaknesses

  • Dislikes cloudy days.
  • Has not yet mastered the application of sunscreen or pancake makeup.
  • Works for peanuts.
Elephants
Elephantidae
Majora Hellaphant
Domestica Heffalump
Fortis Bald Mammoth • Hellephant
Mammuthae Bully Mammoth • Multi-Tusked Mammoth • Yorkshire Mammoth
Elephantidae incertae sedis Elephant of Surprise • Elephantom • Fifth Elephant • HTMLephant • Irrelephant • Pink Elephant • Psycophant • Undercover Elephant