The Whinery

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Taverns of Godville
The Whinery
The Whinery Sign
Feature Wine and therapist available
Signature Drink Bubbly Wine

The Whinery is a tavern that specialises in talk therapy for weary heroes and heroines. People often confuse it with a dedicated wine bar, but they're mistaken. Our unofficial slogan is: "It's just wine. If you can taste something else, we probably haven't washed your glass very well...."

About Us

All of The Whinery staff are highly trained and professional. We have experience working as therapists, and can listen to your whining all day and all night long. And, in contrast to The Rumor Mill, we're bound by bartender-client (semi)confidentiality, so your trouble might be heard of somewhere else, but your name is unlikely to come up. We don't know anything about wine, so, please, just stop asking.

The Whinery also staffs a physical therapist and a couple of masseuses on site to relieve the tension and aches of tired travellers and vanquished heroes and heroines returning from the arena. Newly, every Thursday is the Vanquers Choice, when all noble defeated heroes get 2-for-1 drinks of their choice.

W(h)ine List

The W(h)ine Selection

We offer a wide range of drinks. Mostly beers, cocktails and spirits. However, people seem to keep asking us about our selection of wines, so here it is in its full glory:

  • Red Wine — made out of certified red grapes[1][2]
  • White Wine — made out of certified white grapes[3]
  • Bubbly WineLimited edition! — got 'em bubbles![4]

What else would you want from us?! Just choose your colour.


Our menu consists mainly of comfort foods to suit the needs of our customers, the most popular ones being Headless Chicken soup[5] and Chocolate Moose Mousse. Some of our other popular dishes include:

  • Cyborganic Chicken Roast
  • Funky Beet Borscht
  • Giant Pile of Mashed Potatoes
  • Grandma's Hot Apple Pie — guaranteed to be freshly stolen from a genuine local grandma.
  • Literally Anything Fried — bring anything to our waiter and it will come back to you fried in beer-batter.
  • Mac&Cheese
  • Revenge Vindaloo — best served extra hot.
  • Silent Lamb Pierogies

For a reasonable fee, our team will prepare any comfort meal you like. You just have to provide the recipe and any non-standard ingredients, and be able to withstand our chef's reaction to you teaching him a new recipe.

References and Footnotes

  1. At least 5 different people from the whingeyard looked at the grapes and said: "Yup, it's red all right!"
  2. "Are we sure these are grapes, not gripes?" -- Anonymous employee (not Brad)
  3. At least 5 different people from the whingeyard looked at the grapes and said: "Uhm, let's call it white..."
  4. "Uh, boss?! There are bubbles in this batch... Dunno why!" --Anonymous employee (definitely not Brad)
  5. Chef Randy comments: "Actually, this often starts as a regular chicken, buuut... customers just like fancy ingredients."
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