Tequila Mockingbird

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Monsters of Godville
Tequila Mockingbird
Mimus polyglottos tequilana
Tequila_Mockingbird.jpeg
Class Aves Ebrius
Habitat Desert, town fringes
Description Brutish birdies on a buzz

The Tequila Mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos tequilana) is a monstrous subspecies of the ordinary mockingbird. Unlike its sweetly melodic relative the Tequila Mockingbird is a raucous, alcohol swigging nuisance with a violent nature.

History and Habits

Tequila Mockingbirds originate from the desert, where they once nested on and subsisted off agave plants. With the rise of civilization, they too began seeking adventure and alcohol of a higher proof, so the majority migrated to nearby towns. Staying true to their roots, tequila became the collective beverage of choice. This quickly turned to an addictive obsession, and nowadays they have a reputation as menacing pests. They are driven out of towns with great difficulty, where they lurk about the outer edges waiting to waylay any travelers either for the simple pleasure of a fight or to replenish their tequila stash. If they can't find tequila on their victims, they will eventually retreat and resort to scathing taunts until the victim flees from earshot. Many an unseasoned traveler has been found almost passed out in a puddle of tears, their self-esteem reduced to irredeemable smithereens by ceaseless mocking.

Battle Strategy

Although some Tequila Mockingbirds tend to be loners, most are found in voracious congregations. If a hero is not carrying any tequila and has no desire to fight, the best strategy for escape is to plug the ears, cover the eyes, and book it. If, however, the hero has any tequila on their person or recently drank some within the past week, the Tequila Mockingbirds will certainly sense it and pursue relentlessly. Since the hero will undoubtedly refuse to abandon their liquor, the only recourse is for them to chug it and die happy. Resurrection is easier than winning.

Attributes

Strengths

  • Looks deceivingly harmless
  • Can hold its liquor
  • Witty insults

Weaknesses

  • Can't fly straight
  • Is fond of lawyers
  • Sees only black and white
JanuWiki 2019
Monsters
Lagers Ale-chemist πŸ» Barbeerian πŸ» Beer Cub πŸ» Beer Golem πŸ» Beer Mugger πŸ» Beerburglar πŸ» Beerkat πŸ» Beerserker πŸ» Beerwolf πŸ» Boartender πŸ» Brewpid the Reindeer πŸ» Diet Sprite πŸ» Drinkerella πŸ» Extra Dry Djinn πŸ» Methylated Spiritualist πŸ» Red Bull πŸ» Tea Rex πŸ» Tequila Mockingbird
Tigers Basement Cat πŸ± Bureau-cat πŸ± Fat Cat πŸ± Meowntain Cat πŸ± Neferkitty πŸ± Photocopycat πŸ± Punk Panther πŸ± Weakest Lynx
Bears Bear Minimum
Oh My! Adminotaur πŸ‹οΈ Boozerker πŸ‹οΈ Godbuster πŸ‹οΈ Thug-of-war πŸ‹οΈ Wraptor
Other Articles
Artifacts Bar tab πŸ» Beer-battered beer πŸ» Beer-scented soap πŸ» Bottle of beer from a wall πŸ» Bottle of domesticated beer πŸ» Bottle of holy ale πŸ» Can of ambrosia πŸ» Exclamation pint πŸ» β€œFree beer” ticket πŸ» Instant beer tablet πŸ» Pint of no return πŸ» Strange brew πŸ» Vanishing pint
Equipment Ancient cork πŸ» Awkward paws πŸ» Bear arms πŸ» Beer goggles
Quests Brew a storm in a teacup πŸ» Sit in a tavern and write fake diary entries
Skills Beer belly πŸ» Lion belch
Taverns All Inn πŸ» The Battle Toad πŸ» Caravanserai πŸ» Progress Bar πŸ» The Rumor Mill πŸ» The Sword & Sandal πŸ» The Whinery