Talk:Stop a child from becoming an atheist

From GodWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

So why the major edit?

Contents

Yeah, why the major edit? The current version of the article is completely oblivious to the original meme. With the previous version, people who knew the meme and the history of the Godville discussion would at least find it interesting. This version is devoid of any creativity and humor. This article is a boring group of generalizations that could apply to any quest. The constant usage of the word "you" would make an English teacher cringe. Since all the censored parts were removed, the "Official Notice" portion also should have been removed. The bullet point language is horribly inconsistent. Some bullet point items have question marks and some do not. Some have an "or" before the last item and some do not. The ellipsis (or what appears to be an attempted ellipsis) after one bullet point is grammatically wrong. Usage of "e.g" is wrong. Semicolon usage is wrong. Usage of the word ellipsis makes no sense. The word write should be capitalized and the proper term is write-up, not write up. In all, every single sentence of this new version has at least one error. --BlueStapler 07:11, 9 April 2013 (BST)

Because the previous version made no sense and the heavy "redaction" cause even more confusion. I retained the background information which explains to those interested the meme.

As for the rest: bullet points are not always questions. they are options. Feel free to create a flowchart if you prefer. Ellipsis - you are right. not sure what I was thinking there. semicolon usage - you are mistaken. it's spot on. the ellipsis is also spot on. it denotes several steps not mentioned. "write" should be capitalized, but it actually is not write up, in this case it's just write. (edit) e.g. is also spot on. google e.g. vs i.e.

As for the criticism that "This version is devoid of any creativity and humor. This article is a boring group of generalizations that could apply to any quest." - you might be using a definition of humor I am not familiar with. is your humor also funny? --Xzzwzs 07:04, 2013-0409 (EST)

Ignoring the substance, some of the grammatical and formatting errors of this article are as follows:

  • The “Official Notice . . . ” should be removed if the author is not going to add in at least one censored word.
  • The target of this author is inconsistent. In some parts, this article addresses a god and in some parts, it addresses a hero. For example, it uses the phrase “which your hero cannot eat” (addressing a god) and then later it asks “Are you 1) a hero or 2) a heroine?” (addressing a hero). The article should be consistent.
  • “Many quests in Godville are complicated . . . ” I’m not sure what to do with the sentence after that because the punctuation makes it unreadable.
  • Usage of the word “preventing” is wrong. The word “stop” should be used instead to comport with the name of the quest.
  • The grammar of the bullet points is inconsistent. Either make them all questions with a 1), 2), etc. as the possible answer or put the question mark at the end.
  • The semicolons should be commas as there are no commas within any of the individual answers.
  • Some of the bullet points have “or” before the last “answer” and some do not. The reason for this inconsistency is not apparent.
  • The punctuation of the “answers” should be consistent. Either make them all start with a capital letter or not.
  • The fifth bullet point should not begin with an ellipsis. If the author intends to indicate omitted material, then the ellipsis should go between the bullet points. If the author intends to keep this incorrect usage, an ellipsis should be added to the end of the previous bullet point item.
  • A proper ellipsis is three periods with spaces between them, not three periods without spaces.
  • Usage of the e.g. is wrong. Using e.g. to start a sentence is poor grammar. If the author intends to retain the poor grammar here, capitalize the “e.” The “example” that follows the e.g. should be an actual example and should clarify the previous sentence. The text “133(23112)” makes no sense as it is not a “written out” sequence of numbers. The “example” makes it even more confusing. The hyphen after the number is also a wrong usage of a hyphen. A dash would be more correct, but still wrong. The phrase “- don't forget the parenthesis” should really be a new sentence since it is not an “example” and should not be in the same sentence as the “example given.” The phrase “It could be important” makes no sense because the word “it” is singular and nothing in that bullet point is singular (the word parenthesis is plural).

The inconsistencies and grammatical problems on this page are so rampant that I cannot decipher the author intent enough to fix it. The version prior to April 9 directly addressed the meme, had a rich history that made people want to look at how it was edited, and was thoroughly enjoyed by people who loved the original meme. This version is now nothing more than giant pile of an English teacher's nightmare. --BlueStapler 18:49, 9 April 2013 (BST)

QTE: The inconsistencies and grammatical problems on this page are so rampant that I cannot decipher the author intent enough to fix it. END QTE

Thank you for your comments. We are presently occupied preventing a child from becoming an atheist. Rest assured we will respond just as soon as we become available. -- Xzzwxs 2013-0409 1835EST

edit: corrected some of the grammar issues Herr BST pointed out. 2013-0409 1955EST

I completely rewrote the article again, this time with a reason as to why the hero is required to do this, and how they do it. --Brinjal